Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard

[NNescio]

He not dead, he...he resting.

Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

[Shpadoinkle]

Animate Dead - Ties strings to a corpse and uses it like a marionette

Animate Rope - Replaces the rope with a snake when he thinks nobody's looking

Blindness - Throws a handful of pepper

Charm Person - Five words: "Fezzik, tear his arms off."

Chain Lightning - Whirlwind attack with a Shocking weapon

Color Spray - Punches target in the face while holding a handful of colorful feathers

Dancing Lights - Waves around a torch

Endurance - He has this one cast and permanancied on himself several times already, of course.

False Vision - Focus: A psychoactive toad the target has to lick

Feather Fall - Somatic component: Frantically flapping his arms

Gentle Repose - Material component: a large barrel of alcohol

Hold Person/Monster: Foci: nets and ropes

Move Earth - Focus: a shovel

Nightmare - Hides and waits until the target is asleep, then jumps out screaming as loud as he can

Obscuring Mist - Spits a large mouthful of water

Passwall - Foci: a big hammer and/or mining pick

Persistent Image - Draws a picture and nails it to a wall (or just draws it on the wall)

Phantasmal Killer - He channels this one through his own body and temporarily becomes the PK himself

Polymorph (other) - Breaks the bones of whatever he casts it on until they're polymorphed into an ooze

Rope Trick - Focus: A big sack and a length of rope.

Sculpt Sound - Shouts at the top of his lungs to drown out the real sound

Shield - Stands in front of the person he's casting it on.

Slow - Breaks the targets' legs

Wall of Fire - Lights a bunch of torches and sets them on the ground

[Dragonsoul]

Split Spell-Cleave

[Darth Stabber]

Repeating spell: hits you again next turn.
Empower Spell: power attack
Maximize spell: leap attack

[Socratov]

*bump* Oh what is this? Ah, yes... this nice and shiny diamond...

seriously though, we should start looking for feats and more spells :)

spells:

animate weapon, korg swings his weapon while claiming it moves on it's own (best used for punisment among partymembers "you deserved it, club thinks" )

Meterioite fall: take ranks in prestigeclass hulking hurler and lift and hurl giant boulders. This spell is only available to wizards with the hulking hurler prestige class ("Korg has taken presti-thingy class, Now Korg more powerful")

Pity the Fool: Korg pities the fool who challenges him, the fool (i.e. enemy) is shaken vor 1 round /caster level

Fly, swift: Korg jumps

Bull's strength: Korg Rages!

Mud to stone: Korg grabs some mud and squishes the water from it

Stone to mud: Korg spits on stone

Stone to sand: see disintegrate

Feats:

Craft wand: Korg picks up a twig and scratches is, presto: Korg has wand now, however, Only Korg can use it.

empower [metamagic]: Korg rages

Twin spell[metamagic]: Instead of once, Korg attacks twice

widen spell: whirlwind attack

[NNescio]

Baleful Utterance: Krog tell bad joke.
Miasmic Cloud: Krog burp.
Summon Swarm: Krog open loincloth flap.
Cold Comfort: Krog hug allies.
Mask of Flesh: Krog rip enemies' faces off.
Caster's Lament: Krog listen to the lamentations of your women.
Path of Shadow: Krog hold up tower shield.
Steal Summoning: Krog perform submission hold on creature.

Hellfire Blast: Krog eat onions. Then burp.

[Socratov]

Summon Swarm: Krog open loincloth flap.

thank you for waking my dirty mind...

[JackRackham]

Idk if this adds to or detracts from the awesomeness of this character concept but if you want some character development, you could take Bear Warrior ("wow, Korg has gotten WAY better at magic...."). Your teammates would have long since realized you didn't really cast magic (really, they would?) and their characters would be SHOCKED when you turn into a bear.

Importantly, I don't see this as actual magic. I've always fluffed it as getting so pissed you turn into a freaking BEAR!!!

Another option is frenzied berzerker, if you want your guy to cast greater (whatever you call ur rage). You can only cast it once per day, initially, because it is a high-level spell slot.

Apologies if any of this has been suggested, I only read the 1st two pages of the thread.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Idk if this adds to or detracts from the awesomeness of this character concept but if you want some character development, you could take Bear Warrior ("wow, Korg has gotten WAY better at magic...."). Your teammates would have long since realized you didn't really cast magic (really, they would?) and their characters would be SHOCKED when you turn into a bear.

Importantly, I don't see this as actual magic. I've always fluffed it as getting so pissed you turn into a freaking BEAR!!!

Another option is frenzied berzerker, if you want your guy to cast greater (whatever you call ur rage). You can only cast it once per day, initially, because it is a high-level spell slot.

Apologies if any of this has been suggested, I only read the 1st two pages of the thread.

"KROG CAST POLYMORPH!!!"

[Guest#1]

I admit to being a bit confused, mainly because I don't recognize the options. Are you trying to play a Barbarian that everyone thinks is a spellcasting wizard, or a Wizard that everything thinks is a rampaging barbarian? Or is he just trying to convince himself? In either case, I'd think you a Duskblade or something similar rather than a Wizard.

There are several Rage feats that do stuff like sheathe you in ice or set you on fire. They would be very effective towards making people believe you are a spellcaster.

Remember that Raging doesn't mean you need to be drooling incomprehensibly. You could be chanting, or yelling out litanies during combat - although I'd think you a Paladin in that case.

the point is that it's a very stupid barbarian who is sure that he is a mighty wizard

[Darth Stabber]

lesser Orb of cold = Snowball fight!
lesser Orb of acid = material component acid flask

[Hiro Protagonest]

TURN UNTHREAD lower case

[noparlpf]

Fireball: throws torch, runs in and uses Whirlwind Attack.
There's also feat that lets you throw a weapon during a charge. I think it's called Hurling Charge...maybe from the Miniatures Handbook?

By the bye, this all sounds very familiar. Do I know you?

[grarrrg]

TURN UNTHREAD lower case

I wish you luck. It resisted the first attempt. I think its level is too high.
(See page 5, 2nd post)

[Hiro Protagonest]

I wish you luck. It resisted the first attempt. I think its level is too high.
(See page 5, 2nd post)

I know.

Wait! I'm helping it resist my own turning check! Turn Unthread! Turn Unthread!

[Wyntonian]

I feel like this could work as a Psion too.

Ego Whip?

"Thog think your mom ugly!"

Inflict Pain?

Guess.

Psionic Knock?

*Whacks head into door until it opens*

[Rimeheart]

This is bloody brilliant.

[Dalek-K]

Blade Barrier: Sword Chucks Yo'

[QuidEst]

I'm not sure where you can use it, but I think a cry of "Kame hame falcon SMASH!" should be implemented if it's possible.

[DonQuixote]

What happens if Korg dies and reanimates himself? KORG THE LICH.

Necropolitan. One level in monk, nineteen levels in barbarian.

He now has a touch attack (unarmed strike) and a lich's paralyzing touch (Stunning Fist), as well as all the spells Korg had in life.

He'll also think that he's invincible--"What you mean, be careful? Korg has fila...fillet...Korg has magic life-box!"

May God have mercy on our souls...

[MeeposFire]

Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Wait is this an Eric the Awful reference?

[legomaster00156]

This concept, sir, is the greatest I have ever seen, You have, by some miracle, won your own thread.

[Hiro Protagonest]

This concept, sir, is the greatest I have ever seen, You have, by some miracle, won your own thread.

If you win a thread by posting a post in it, do you win a subforum by posting a thread in it?

[grarrrg]

What happens if Korg dies and reanimates himself? KORG THE LICH.

Necropolitan. One level in monk, nineteen levels in barbarian.

He now has a touch attack (unarmed strike) and a lich's paralyzing touch (Stunning Fist), as well as all the spells Korg had in life.

He'll also think that he's invincible--"What you mean, be careful? Korg has fila...fillet...Korg has magic life-box!"

May God have mercy on our souls...

Korg not take levels in not-barbarianWizard class, then Korg would lose caster level!
Lich tembl, tenp,...LA too high! not good for Korg. Korg need more barbarianwizardness!

Korg prepared Explosive Runes this morning!
But Korg no can read...

[legomaster00156]

If you win a thread by posting a post in it, do you win a subforum by posting a thread in it?

Ah! Even better!

[DonQuixote]

Korg not take levels in not-barbarianWizard class, then Korg would lose caster level!
Lich tembl, tenp,...LA too high! not good for Korg. Korg need more barbarianwizardness!

Well, I guess it can just be modeled with Improved Unarmed Strike/Superior Unarmed Strike and the Stunning Fist feat. Lord knows that a barbarianwizard's damage relies very little on his actual weapon.

[Enterti]

Thread is getting a little tl/dr so forgive me if these or similar have been presented

Time stop- sits in empty room by himself

Prestidigitation- whenever he does anything not covered by another spell

I would also like to add that this thread has the best opening post ever, of all time

[TinyMushroom]

"KROG CAST POLYMORPH!!!"

Polymorph. Perhaps the messiest one yet.

[Mutazoia]

Wait is this an Eric the Awful reference?

Kid's these days...no classical education...

It's a Monty Python reference

[grarrrg]

Top 3 ways (in no particular order) to have a thread NOT get locked for Threadcomancy.

1. It is an FAQ type thread (usually gets Stickied).

2. It is a [class]-Handbook thread.

3. The thread is pure undiluted awesomeness.

That is all.