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Old 12-29-2008, 11:09 PM   Top  -  End  -  #1
ErrantX
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Default [3.5] Black Heron, warriors of demonic fury [ToB/LoB, Discipline]

Black Heron


Mirthless Smile, host to the abyssal entity Darkstar

Practitioners of the Black Heron style are members of a select few warriors due to its onerous requirement: being possessed or inspired by a dark or demonic force. With this requirement in mind, there are few willing to risk their very soul for martial strength but there are some with the desire for power which overwhelms their sense or those who make the best of a bad situation. The secrets of the Black Heron discipline are taught by possessing fiends and demonic tutors to their hosts and pawns as a way of enticing fools who desire power into learning their secrets or the occasional few with wills strong enough to tear those secrets from their infernal prisoners. Black Heron practitioners are known for extremes of personality; they are either disciplined in behavior or revel in the anarchy that brings strength and power. Not ones to blanch at the thought of fighting dirty, Black Heron adepts are quite content to injure their foes in any way that they can to ensure their victory.

Knights of the Black Thorn and Stalkers are open to learning this discipline due to their knowledge of the dark things of the world. Any fiend with a strong sense of martial ability and prowess and a penchant for possession is likely to know this discipline and how to impart to it to mortals. It focuses on powerful, straightforward two-handed strikes and vicious counters as well as intimidating presence and dirty fighting. The Black Heron discipline’s associated skill is Intimidate, and its associated weapons are the bastard sword, battleaxe, unarmed strike, greatsword, heavy mace, and warhammer.
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Old 12-29-2008, 11:12 PM   Top  -  End  -  #2
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

(Author's Notes: The term unholy damage relates to damage that affects good-aligned targets fully, and does half-damage to neutral or evil targets, and bypasses DR /Evil.)

Black Heron Maneuver List

1st Level
Black Heron’s Stance: Stance- May make a demoralization attempt each round as a move action.
Ravaging Blow: Strike- Make an attack, if successful then the target is shaken for one round.
Strength of Two: Boost- Gain +4 profane bonus to Strength, -2 penalty to AC.
Voracious Drive: Strike- Move then make an attack, deals an additional 1d6 damage.
*Gutstrike: Strike– Make an attack, chance to nauseate opponent for one round.
*Clawfoot Heron Stance: Stance– Do not take penalties for using improvised weapons, add +2 damage when using weapons of this type or unarmed strikes.
2nd Level
Fear Eating Technique: Boost- Successful demoralization restores 2d6 +1/initiator level in hit points.
Inner Demon Strike: Strike- Attack deals an additional 3d6 points of damage; initiator suffers 1d6 points of damage.
Intimidating Force: Counter- Make an Intimidate check to avoid an attack.
Shadow Feather Strike: Strike- Ranged strike that attacks your foe with feathers of shadow doing 3d6 + initiator level in damage on a successful hit.
Midnight Slam: Strike- Melee strike that adds +2d6 damage and forces your foe to make a Reflex save to not be knocked back 5ft.
3rd Level
Dance of the Black Heron: Stance- Character may make martial strikes while moving.
Savage Drive: Strike- Move then make an attack, deals an additional 4d6 damage.
Unfettered Progression: Boost- Move 10ft after a successful strike.
*Walk in the Dark: Stance- Initiator may move through shadows a number of feet equal to 10ft per two initiator levels as your move action.
*Tendon Rip: Strike – Melee attack inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage; halves the opponent’s move speed for 1d4 rounds.
4th Level
Circle of Razor Feathers: Strike- Make a 30ft area attack of cutting feathers, resulting in 6d6 points of damage.
Intimidating Riposte: Counter- When struck in combat, make immediate counter attack and a free demoralization attempt.
*Taunting Laugh: Boost- Make an Intimidate check to give your opponent pause, causing your foe to become flat footed against your attack.
*Bilious Strike: Strike– Powerful strike that damages the target’s insides, inflicting +4d6 acid damage.
5th Level
Abyssal Lance: Strike- Ranged touch attack which deals 8d6 points of damage, chance to stun.
Sharing the Dark Soul: Strike- Make an attack, deals an additional 10d6 damage, imposes a -4 penalty on Will saves and level to resist demoralization attempts.
Soul Consumption: Boost- Draw power and health from fallen foes, healing 3d8 plus initiator level upon killing a target with a martial strike.
*Sensory Rip: Strike– Strike at the face of an opponent, inflicts an additional 1d4 Charisma damage and has a chance to blind the opponent.
6th Level
Abyssal Drive: Strike- Move than make an attack, deals an additional 8d6 points of damage, leaves foe sickened for 1d4 rounds.
Razor Wings of the Black Heron: Stance- +5 bonus to both Jump and Tumble, add an extra 2d6 points of damage when initiating martial strikes.
*Black Heron’s Wrath: Boost- Make an Intimidate check, add the result as damage to next successful attack.
*Shadow Heron Swarm: Strike- A 30ft cone of screaming, shadowy birds causing 12d6 damage.
7th Level
Armageddon Lance: Strike- Ranged touch attack which deals an additional 15d6 points of damage.
Consumption Strike: Strike- Make an attack, deals an additional +10d6 points of damage, initiator is healed this damage.
Devastating Riposte: Counter- When struck in combat, make immediate counter attack with bonus +8d6 points of damage.
Charge of the Ravager: Strike- Make a charge attack, may make a full attack while moving, deals an additional 3d6 points of damage to every foe adjacent the charge path without provoking attacks of opportunity.
8th Level
Apocalyptic Strike: Strike- Damaging attack which deals 1d6+1/initiator level in 40ft radius.
*Void Heron Strike: Strike- Ranged touch attack causing a foe to be covered in shadowy birds causing 6d6 points of damage per round for 1d4 rounds. This also this give the foe a 50% miss chance for you and your allies
Vampiric Aura: Stance- 20 ft radius aura which deals 2d6 damage to all within it and heals a like amount to the initiator.
*Soul Crusher: Strike- Strike which attacks the opponent’s will to live, inflicting +3d4 Charisma damage.
9th Level
*Black Heron Onslaught: Strike- Make an extra attack at your full base attack bonus, -2 to hit and to AC, deals an additional 4d6 +1/initiator level damage.

*= new maneuver
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Old 12-29-2008, 11:17 PM   Top  -  End  -  #3
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Black Heron Maneuvers

1st Level
Spoiler


2nd Level
Spoiler


3rd Level
Spoiler


4th Level
Spoiler


5th Level
Spoiler


6th Level
Spoiler


7th Level
Spoiler


8th Level
Spoiler


9th Level
Spoiler
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Old 12-29-2008, 11:44 PM   Top  -  End  -  #4
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Not bad. Not bad at all.
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Old 12-29-2008, 11:54 PM   Top  -  End  -  #5
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

I'll just comment on some of the one's that need looking at...

Quote:
Black Heron’s Stance
This one's a bit much...the only comparable ability I could find is the Samurai's improved staredown, which lets him demoralize as a move action, and is gained at 14th level (Granted, it is the Samurai, which is just terrible). It's a neat idea, but what I'd do is move it up closer to 5th level, and maybe have it confer some additional penalties on foes you successfully intimidate. Also, the damage bonus, while not unbalanced, is...unusual. Maneuvers normally don't care about the discipline of other maneuvers you're using–that tends to be for class features or magic items only.

Quote:
Ravaging Blow
Waaay too much...look at Overwhelming Mountain Strike. It does the same thing, but it's 4th level and allows a save. This should be severely bumped up in level...as is, keeping it without a save and giving it a +5d6 damage bonus would make a pretty good 5th or 6th level maneuver.

Quote:
Strength of Two
I don't see why this isn't a boost with a duration that lasts until the beginning of your next turn.

Quote:

Fear Eating Technique
The flat +3 bonus is kinda odd...why not just 2d6 + 1/level hp?

Quote:
Inner Demon Strike
I'm not entirely sure on this one, but I'd either bump the damage down to 3d6 or cut the attack bonus.

Quote:
Dance of the Black Heron
Again maneuvers normally don't care about disciplines. This one really feels too strong for its level...maybe as a 5th level stance, or even an 8th.

Quote:
Onslaught of Blows
This one seems a little weak compared to Searing Blade...maybe up the damage bonus to 2d6 + 1/level.

Quote:
Abyssal Lance
I'd drop the damage to the initiator.

Quote:

Sharing the Dark Soul
I'd up the bonus damage to +6d6.

Quote:

Wings of the Black Heron
Martial adepts typically only get flight as an 8th level stance, and this one gives unrestricted flight, as opposed to the 10 ft. limitation of Rising Phoenix or the air walking of Balancing on the Sky. Just too good for its level.

Quote:

Consumption Strike
I think you could afford to bump the bonus damage up to 7d6.

Quote:
Vampiric Aura
Again, maneuvers don't care about discipline. I'd just have it be all maneuvers, and drop the healing to just the move's level.
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Old 12-30-2008, 12:30 AM   Top  -  End  -  #6
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Made some changes based on the suggestions of the Demented One.

Some key changes were made to Vampiric Aura, Black Heron's Stance and Dance of the Black Heron.

Changed Wings of the Black Heron to Razor Wings of the Black Heron. Whatcha think?

-X
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Old 06-01-2009, 04:46 AM   Top  -  End  -  #7
Black Mage
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

I like this. A lot. It actually works perfectly for the campaign I'm putting together. Do you mind if I use it?

A few things though...

Onslaught of Blows...is the 2d6+IL on all of the attacks? Or is it just a flat 2d6+IL extra damage at the end?

You wouldn't happen to have a legacy weapon designed for this discipline, would you?

And do you plan on adding any flavor text to the maneuvers and stances to give a better feel for the visual effects they create?

Other than that, I love this discipline, great work. Got any more floating in your head? Lol
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:34 PM   Top  -  End  -  #8
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Mage View Post
I like this. A lot. It actually works perfectly for the campaign I'm putting together. Do you mind if I use it?
Glad you like it, Black Mage. And of course you can use it. That's what it's here for! :D

Quote:
A few things though...

Onslaught of Blows...is the 2d6+IL on all of the attacks? Or is it just a flat 2d6+IL extra damage at the end?
I sat here staring at Onslaught of Blows, and as it's been 6 months since I looked at it last, to be honest, I couldn't tell you So I changed it to be a -4 to AC and the damage bonus is on each attack. That should work out perfectly.

Quote:
You wouldn't happen to have a legacy weapon designed for this discipline, would you?
No, but I did design a magic item and a prestige class that uses it. I have several others that will use this discipline but I'm in the process of stripping out some obviously plagiarized sources from them before I post them (at the time of making a lot of the associated classes, I was heavily influenced by several animes). When I have the others, I will post them of course. But the prestige class I posted was my own works. It's called the Kazarzeth, check it out.

Quote:
And do you plan on adding any flavor text to the maneuvers and stances to give a better feel for the visual effects they create?
I created some flavor text in the actual description, but I hadn't made any distinct plan to. Now that someone is showing some interest in this discipline (to be honest, I wasn't sure if anyone actually really liked it) I may do just that.

Quote:
Other than that, I love this discipline, great work. Got any more floating in your head? Lol
Why thank you. I do in fact have a few ideas floating around that I've simply not had much time to do anything with. My hope is to get my homebrewing time back in the near future so that I can create more. I would take requests for homebrew disciplines, and if I can, I'd try to write it up.

Thank you again!
-X
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Old 06-01-2009, 02:58 PM   Top  -  End  -  #9
Black Mage
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Awesome, I intend to have my players learn to fear this discipline in my upcoming game.

Actually, I stumbled upon that class shortly after I posted on this, it is rather awesome.
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:52 PM   Top  -  End  -  #10
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Mage View Post
Awesome, I intend to have my players learn to fear this discipline in my upcoming game.

Actually, I stumbled upon that class shortly after I posted on this, it is rather awesome.
Hehe, that makes me pleased. I've got a player in my campaign who is using the Kazarzeth prestige class (hellbred warblade 5 / kazarzeth 7) to seriously crazy effect in tandem with serious amounts of Black Heron. His plan is to go Master of Nine or my Master of One class to really just flood his character with Black Heron maneuvers, as they fit his character so totally well. A small mix of White Raven, Stone Dragon, and Iron Heart on top of Black Heron to flavor, and there you go.

I'd love to know how your players react to it.

-X
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:08 PM   Top  -  End  -  #11
Black Mage
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Oh that's just mean.

I'll be sure to let you know once the campaign starts. It's still in the development phases at the moment.
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:49 AM   Top  -  End  -  #12
Iferus
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

So now we have a demon discipline, who will give us an angelic one? Or perhaps a devilish counterpart?
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:02 AM   Top  -  End  -  #13
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

The Demented One has created several amazing disciplines that fit into that realm, those being Dread Crown and Golden Saint, respectively. Black Heron is something a little to the left in my world view, less on Evil for Evil's sake, and one more based on demonic savagery. They are the Unstoppable Force, so to speak. But that does spark an idea for me insofar as angelic channeling as a Discipline...

Thanks I may use that!

-X
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Old 06-30-2009, 02:52 PM   Top  -  End  -  #14
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

I like the Maiden of the Mirthless Smile as the representative of the discipline. Who better to represent an abyssal martial art but the Abyssal warrior queen herself?
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:16 PM   Top  -  End  -  #15
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

That's precisely why my favorite little evil girly was selected. I adore Mirth :)

-X
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:28 PM   Top  -  End  -  #16
The Rose Dragon
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

She is certainly at least Essence 4, judging by her looks.

*rawr*

I'm trying to figure out whether Apocalyptic Strike is balanced or not. There are two things I'm looking at: Strike of Perfect Clarity and Inferno Blast. Strike of Perfect Clarity deals a set 100 extra damage, it's a single target and requires an attack roll, but it also has whatever zillion (I retain my rights to exaggerate) damage you might be dealing with Power Attack, as well as the potential of rolling a critical. Inferno Blast is also set 100 damage and it's fire subtype, meaning many enemies will be immune to it, but it has a larger radius than Apocalyptic Strike.

What did you balance it with, might I ask?
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:58 PM   Top  -  End  -  #17
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rose Dragon View Post
She is certainly at least Essence 4, judging by her looks.

*rawr*
Indeed!

Quote:
I'm trying to figure out whether Apocalyptic Strike is balanced or not. There are two things I'm looking at: Strike of Perfect Clarity and Inferno Blast. Strike of Perfect Clarity deals a set 100 extra damage, it's a single target and requires an attack roll, but it also has whatever zillion (I retain my rights to exaggerate) damage you might be dealing with Power Attack, as well as the potential of rolling a critical. Inferno Blast is also set 100 damage and it's fire subtype, meaning many enemies will be immune to it, but it has a larger radius than Apocalyptic Strike.

What did you balance it with, might I ask?
Those two abilities, actually. I tried to set it so it wouldn't have the range of Inferno Blast but do less overall damage potential than Strike of Perfect Clarity. As Black Heron was designed to fall between those disciplines, that's what I went with.

-X
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Old 06-30-2009, 06:35 PM   Top  -  End  -  #18
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

While we're talking about Apocalyptic Strike, the table implies that you get 1d6+20 (or, 23 1/2) damage at level 20. Not impressive, until you read the text and realize it's really 20d6+20 (which has an average of 90).
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Old 06-30-2009, 06:50 PM   Top  -  End  -  #19
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

1d6+1/per initiator level reads to me as for each initiator level you have, you inflict 1d6+1 (i.e. at level 18, I'd roll 18d6+18).

If it were the other way, it would read 1d6 damage +1/per initiator level or something of that nature. I thought it was clear. Either way, the text sorts it out.

-X
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Old 07-24-2010, 07:50 PM   Top  -  End  -  #20
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Got an OK to Thread Necro this by one Roland St. Jude.

I have added two new maneuvers to this discipline, one at 7th (Black Heron's Wrath) and one at 8th (Soul Crusher). I have also updated the fluff of the discipline to better reflect the more generic nature of the Libram of Battle, as this is counted as a Libram of Battle discipline.

For those of you who have not seen this discipline, please enjoy it and let me know what you think. For those of you who are familiar with it, let me know what you think of the two new maneuvers. Thank you!

-X
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Old 07-24-2010, 10:49 PM   Top  -  End  -  #21
DracoDei
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

7th level strike you mentioned might be argued to always have its duration run out before it can have any effect. Not sure how to properly re-word it... "End of your turn or until discharged" maybe?

Soul Crusher is a one-hit kill against many magical beasts I should think, although it isn't as bad as INT damage... knock it down to 3d4 or 2d6. Even Five Shadow Creeping Ice Enervation Strike doesn't do 3d6 to a single stat, and it has a randomized effect, so you can't be sure of hitting a low stat. Not to mention being a level higher (although it does have additional effects and the 2d6 to all physical stats results is pretty nasty).
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Last edited by DracoDei : 07-24-2010 at 10:50 PM.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:09 PM   Top  -  End  -  #22
Milskidasith
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Scanning this discipline, a lot of these maneuvers seem rather weak; all the AoE "deal damage in this radius" seem to be dealing damage that is a bit too low for their AoE. 5d6 at seventh level is poor and doesn't scale well, and this class seems to have an over-reliance on strict damage increases/damaging moves (lots of moves that are just +damage with no kicker, or AoE/ranged touch attacks that deal damage). The capstone, in particular, just feels kind of weak to me; 90 damage in a radius is rather meh.

Intimidating Riposte is also worded poorly; it looks like it's meant to be a stance, but it's a counter that takes an immediate action, so you can't use it more than once.

The only thing that's possibly too powerful is Onslaught of Blows; that deals a massive amount of damage because of the +level damage on each attack, which makes it far stronger than even your capstone manuever.
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Old 07-27-2010, 10:32 AM   Top  -  End  -  #23
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Quote:
Originally Posted by DracoDei View Post
7th level strike you mentioned might be argued to always have its duration run out before it can have any effect. Not sure how to properly re-word it... "End of your turn or until discharged" maybe?

Soul Crusher is a one-hit kill against many magical beasts I should think, although it isn't as bad as INT damage... knock it down to 3d4 or 2d6. Even Five Shadow Creeping Ice Enervation Strike doesn't do 3d6 to a single stat, and it has a randomized effect, so you can't be sure of hitting a low stat. Not to mention being a level higher (although it does have additional effects and the 2d6 to all physical stats results is pretty nasty).
That's a fair assessment. I'm going to reduce the damage to 3d4 and add a save for half, but I'm going to now include weapon damage (before it was just straight ability damage).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milskidasith View Post
Scanning this discipline, a lot of these maneuvers seem rather weak; all the AoE "deal damage in this radius" seem to be dealing damage that is a bit too low for their AoE. 5d6 at seventh level is poor and doesn't scale well, and this class seems to have an over-reliance on strict damage increases/damaging moves (lots of moves that are just +damage with no kicker, or AoE/ranged touch attacks that deal damage). The capstone, in particular, just feels kind of weak to me; 90 damage in a radius is rather meh.

Intimidating Riposte is also worded poorly; it looks like it's meant to be a stance, but it's a counter that takes an immediate action, so you can't use it more than once.

The only thing that's possibly too powerful is Onslaught of Blows; that deals a massive amount of damage because of the +level damage on each attack, which makes it far stronger than even your capstone manuever.
...Yeah. This is my first ever discipline. I'm likely going to have to revise it some, and your honest critique definitely cuts to the core the problems inherent in it. Expect something soon to relook over. Thank you!

-X
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Old 07-28-2010, 10:54 AM   Top  -  End  -  #24
Cieyrin
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Having looked through the discipline, I like a lot of what I see but there are some things that seem off and/or questionable, such as:

- No method for replacing a class' known discipline or retrain other maneuvers for Black Heron maneuvers by training with a master
- Inner Demon Strike dealing unholy damage to the initiator would seem like it wouldn't affect them at all, given Black Heron disciples are probably evil and thus immune to unholy damage
- Intimidating Force should be an immediate action as a Counter
- Was it your intention for Dance of the Black Heron to work with all 5th level or lower strikes regardless of action type, such as Onslaught of Blows' full attack, or just standard action strikes?
- Apocalyptic Strike's no resistance clause, why is it necessary? What actually blocks unholy damage, really? I suppose that could be a throw back to Flamestrike but *shrug*.

Otherwise, good work.
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Old 03-22-2011, 10:53 PM   Top  -  End  -  #25
ErrantX
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Significant re-write to this discipline, lots of new maneuvers, cleaned up mechanics, etc. Very different, give it a looksee.

-X
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Old 03-23-2011, 05:01 AM   Top  -  End  -  #26
peacenlove
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Default Re: [TOB] The Black Heron [Discipline]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErrantX View Post
Significant re-write to this discipline, lots of new maneuvers, cleaned up mechanics, etc. Very different, give it a looksee.

-X
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Recently i had a crush with new ToB material (one of my players wanted to play a Claymore based character so your discipline was the first to look. Note that i know next to nothing about the Claymore anime ) so I will try my best here

First of all for us ToB users you should specify which classes (Warblade, Swordsage, Crusader) can select those maneuevers.
Also some of the maneuvers presented imply a supernatural element to them. You should specify which are supernatural abilities and which are not.


Some comments in general. This discipline has many (too many for my taste) close range Area of Effect damage dealing maneuvers, but it is also based on fear effects. Their weakness is that they deal non scalable damage. Why not choosing some of them and adding a fear condition on them, or a free demoralization attempt to multiple targets in an area?

Quote:
Midnight Slam
...

The Black Heron disciple uses the principles of overwhelming force to drive his opponent back so that he may continue to wade forward towards conquest. The character makes a melee attack against a target creature, and if successful, the attack inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage and causes the target to make a Reflex save (DC 12 + primary initiator attribute) to not be knocked back 5ft.
What would the primary initiator attribute for the 3 "traditional" initiator classes be? (Warblade, crusader, swordsages?)

Quote:
Ravaging Blow
...

Fear is one of the main weapons in the arsenal of a Black Heron disciple, and be using it he may shake his opponent to their core. The disciple initiates this strike, and if it successfully lands, causes the victim to be shaken for one round due to his fearful countenance and martial prowess. A successful Will save (DC 11 + primary initiator attribute modifier) can negate this effect.
Needs the [Fear] descriptor.

Quote:
Gutstrike
...

With a ruthless attack or a powerful kick, the disciple strikes a foe in a way that causes him to become nauseated with pain. The character must make a successful melee attack against a foe, and the target must make a Fortitude save (DC 11 + primary initiating attribute modifier) or be nauseated for one round.
Quote:
From the SRD
Nauseated
Experiencing stomach distress. Nauseated creatures are unable to attack, cast spells, concentrate on spells, or do anything else requiring attention. The only action such a character can take is a single move action per turn.
Nausea is a very strong debuff, shutting down almost all of your options in combat. I would bump this maneuever to 2nd or 3rd level (considering dazing strike is a 4th level maneuever, and daze is only slightly stronger than nausea).
Alternatively I would lower the effect to sickened for 1 or 2 rounds, to be in line with Ravaging Blow.

Quote:
Dance of the Black Heron
...

The Black Heron discipline teaches its disciples that relentless progression is what wins battles, and the Dance of the Black Heron is a movement method that allows the disciple to continue to deal death without slowing his progress. The character may initiate martial strikes of 5th level or lower while continuing to move, as if he possessed the Spring Attack feat. He still provokes attacks of opportunity for moving through threatened areas as per normal.
Spring attack cannot be used in heavy armor. Is it true with that stance too?
Also silly question but some of your maneuvers (for example Savage drive) require that you move 5 ft before you initiate the attack, and spring attack requires a 5 ft step movement before you can utilize it. Do those restrictions stack for 10 ft movement before i can use both the benefits of the stance and the selected strike or do they overlap?

Quote:
Unfettered Progression
...

By unceasing movement in combat, the Black Heron disciple sculpts the battlefield to his liking, not to his foes. After successfully initiating a martial strike, he may make a free 10ft movement without provoking attacks of opportunity. The character may not have already made a 5ft step in this round to use this maneuver.
This maneuver seems kinda weak to me, however I might underestimate it because movement is a crucial part of melee characters. You exchange your swift action for effectively 5 ft more movement (A 5 ft step never provokes AoO unless an ability explicitly states so, the same applies to your maneuver i hope). This is far weaker than a mediocre to weak feat, namely Dash. I would safely put that maneuver at 1st level, if that level hadn't so many maneuvers already.
An alternative would be to make it a teleportation effect, allowing you to escape grapples, bypass walls etc, adding some utility to this maneuver. Remember that swordsages gain a limited teleport ability at 3rd level.

Quote:
Walk in the Dark
...

Using the principles of shadow and temporarily merging with the dark, the Black Heron disciple steps into the dark and reappears in an area of darkness a short distance away. As a move action, the disciple may move through an area of shadowy or darker illumination and reappear in an area of shadowy or darker illumination a distance away equal to 10ft per two initiator levels.
Wanted just to say that I love this stance. Also I need to add that this stance needs the [Teleportation] Descriptor.

Quote:
Tendon Rip
...

By striking at the legs of the opponent, the disciple removes the mobility of a foe, so the foe cannot hamper his progression to victory. The character makes an attack on the target creature, and if successful, the attack inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage and halves the opponent’s move speed for 1d4 rounds.
Does the movement reduction apply to all speeds?

Quote:
Circle of Razor Feathers
...

By surrounding a disciple of the Black Heron, multiple foes may be laid low by the force of the demonic entity's wrath. By crying out in horrible rage and raising his weapon straight up to the sky, the disciple's foes are showered with dozens of needles of vile energy which inflict 6d6 points of unholy damage. This maneuver allows a Reflex saving throw (DC 14 + primary initiator attribute modifier) for half damage.
My edits in blue. Did I edit correctly or was this maneuver intended to deal untyped damage instead of unholy?

Quote:
Taunting Laugh
...

With an intimidating growl and mighty laugh at his pitiful opponents, the Black Heron disciple causes his foe’s resolve to weaken and his anger to stoke, allowing him to make the tragic mistake of allowing the disciple the upper hand. As a swift action, the character makes a demoralization attempt against a foe, and if successful, instead of demoralizing the foe, the target is struck flat-footed for the round.
Minor typo my eye caught.

Quote:
Abyssal Lance
Black Heron (Strike)
...

Those who have become masters of the Black Heron discipline have learned that by focusing the rage within themselves, they may use it as a weapon of pure destruction at the cost of their self. For these disciples, they know that so long as their foe is destroyed, pain is inconsequential. By summoning forth this rage and channeling it through their weapon, they may will a lance of venomous rage and pain into existence and fling at their enemy. This is a ranged touch attack which deals 8d6 points of damage, half of which is unholy.
Quote:
Armageddon Lance
...

One the supreme arts of the Black Heron discipline allows the disciple to call upon the fell and eternal wrath of the dark passenger within and use it as a devastating lance of destructive unholy power. This is a ranged touch attack which deals 15d6 points of damage, half of which is unholy, but the cost of creating this powerful attack requires sacrifice by the host, resulting in the initiator suffering 2d6 points of damage.
Silly question again. The other half portion of the damage dealt, what type is it? Untyped?

Quote:
Soul Consumption
...

The fiend within hungers for the souls of fallen foes and it rewards the disciple that feeds this unquenchable thirst. When the character kills a foe with a Black Heron strike, he may use this maneuver in conjunction with it to draw the remaining life force of the foe into his own form, slaking the thirst of his dark passenger and using the rest to restore health to his body. Upon making the death blow to a victim, use of this maneuver restores 3d8 + initiator level (max +15) hit points to the character.
What if the target is at negative hit points but not dead (and I mistakenly believe that he is)? Do I lose the use of this maneuver without effect? Or I can't use this maneuver instinctively knowing that my opponent isn't dead yet?

Quote:
Black Heron’s Wrath
...

The disciple of the Black Heron’s anger and wrath are his strongest weapons, and in concentrating this horrible power into his attacks, he may cause a horrible black power to invade the wounds of his foes to cause even more injury. The character makes an Intimidate check, the result of this check is added to his damage roll for his next successful attack.
I can see a lot of damage coming from this boost (at 11th level Intimidation checks can be as high as 40-60, although a 30-50 would be more reasonable, from my experience), but to my eyes at least skill checks are as high as bonus damage so this is like an extra attack and in line with one round of the haste spell
So I feel that this boost is a little weak but giving its benefit for a full attack is too much. But I am sure the optimizers out there will prove me wrong.

Quote:
Soul Crusher
Black Heron (Strike)
...
Again did I edit correctly?

All in all a wonderful discipline and I eagerly await for your project to be finished.
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Last edited by peacenlove : 03-23-2011 at 05:03 AM.
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