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Originally Posted by TheChris
<<snipped flavor text>>
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Nice flavor text. Explains the class well.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Hit Die: d4
Requirements:
Alignment: Non lawful and Non good.
Skills: Knowledge (arcana) 8 ranks, Knowledge (religion) 4 ranks.
Special: Must be able to cast at least 4th level arcane Necromancy spells
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The hit die is OK for the class. The pre-reqs are really easy. I'd recommend adding, "Special: Must be initiated into a cabal yadda yadda yadda." You could also probably add Spell Focus (Necromancy) and not hurt the flavor of the class any.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Class Skills: Alchemy(INT), bluff(cha), concentration(con), decipher script(INT), Forgery(INT), Intimidate(cha), Knowledge(arcana) (INT),Knowledge(religion) (INT), Sense Motive(wis), and Spellcraft(INT)
Skill Points at Each Level: 4 + Int
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Alchemy is actually Craft (Alchemy). I'd lower it to 2 + int mod per level. Wizards are going to have a high INT bonus, meaning they're gonna end up maxing just about every skill in the class list. Lowering the number of ranks to 2 forces the character to make some decisions.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Class Features
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You forgot to list armor and weapon proficiencies. Additionally, you need to specify whether these abilities are Ex, Su or Sp.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Sight of Dead: By merely touching a corpse the Disciple is able to see the past 30 minutes of the corpse’s life as though he were living it.
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What sort of action is it? Does he touch the corpse and instantly see the full 30 minutes, or does he have to spend real time - if he wants to know all 30 minutes, he needs to spend 30 minutes? Does it work on
any corpse, no matter how long they've been dead?
I'd recommend the ability be Su, it be a standard action to initiate and require concentration to maintain. The "movie" begins at the beginning, and keeps going until The DoC stops concentrating. If he stops and restarts, he starts from the beginning. I'd suggest the corpse be fresh - one day + one day per level in the class.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Control Death: *Having an intricate understand of death and how it works each disciple is able to stabilize himself immediately after going into negative hit points
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Nice flavor. I'd suggest it be an Ex ability.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Death Premonition: The target sees his own death as a very violent and fear causing event. *The fear is so intense that the target is frozen in panic for 1d4 rounds. *Will negates.
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You should list the save DC, and what type of action to activate the ability. Does the DoC have to touch the target, or just look at him? I'd recommend this be an Su ability, require a standard action and function on anybody the DoC has line of sight on within 60' and targets.
Also - remember that "Panicked" is an actual game mechanic with the following meaning (from the SRD):
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Characters who are panicked are shaken, and they run away from the source of their fear as quickly as they can. Other than running away from the source, their path is random. They flee from all other dangers that confront them rather than facing those dangers. Panicked characters cower if they are prevented from fleeing.
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This doesn't exactly fit the flavor of your ability. I'd reword that to say something like, "as though effected by a
Hold Person spell".
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Death Feed: As battle rages on the Disciple becomes more and more engrossed in what’s going on around him. *When living creatures die he becomes zealous and finds strength for his own cause. *This causes him to gain 3 temporary hit points for the day. *This only takes affect during an encounter. *Throughout the day the Disciples veins are more pronounced and his eyes turn blood shot.
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Do temporary hit points gained in this manner stack? That is, if the DoC watches 3 creatures die, does he gain 9 temporary hit points? If so, these seems highly abusable to me. The DoC can easily increase his temp hit points to a
really high number by killing off commoners and simple animals.
I'd suggest the Temp Hit Points only last for the encounter. I'd make this ability an Su type.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Snuff Out: *Ends the life of one creature. *It is a melee touch attack and if is successful then the creature dies. *Fortitude will cause only partial damage of 5d6 damage.
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You need a save DC. I'd recommend this ability also be of the Su type.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
The Calling: *The Calling is a ceremony preformed by a cabal of at least 4 disciples and a leader. *The purpose of The Calling is to summon the spirit of The Chris into the midst of the circle. *When in this form they may converse with him as normal and receive their commands. *If there is a leader who is also a Vassal then The Chris will take possession of the body of the vassal. *This is rarely done except for days of great ceremony or meaning to the order. *
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This has good flavor, but doesn't do anything mechanically. How about adding something minor. For example, when you become a "Leader" you gain half your class level as a bonus to a skill (Intimidate, perhaps). And when you become a vassal, it increases to you class level as the bonus.
If you add the skill bonus, the type should be Ex.
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Originally Posted by TheChris
Death Dealing: *Starting at the 3rd level the Disciple gains a bonus that increases his caster level for the purpose of spells that have variables that depend on spell levels. *This also applies to anything that uses a caster level check. *Note: this only applies to spells that deal damage. *Any other spells function as normal
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Let's make sure I understand.... If I'm a 9th level caster and I cast a
Fireball I'm treated as a 10th level caster? However, the same caster who casts
Summon Monster V is treated as his true caster level (9th)?
For a better fit to the flavor of the class, I'd suggest doing one of two things. You could:
A) grant the bonus to all necromancy spells
or
B) grant the bonus to all spells with the [Death] descriptor.
The second is weaker, since it would effect fewer spells.
This would be either an Ex or Su ability.
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Interesting class. The abilities match the flavor nicely, and it's power progresses nicely.