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Old 02-25-2009, 02:22 PM   Top  -  End  -  #1
Fax Celestis
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Default [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Onori is an inherited racial class progression that can be applied to a living, corporeal, non-Outsider creature. It represents having a lawfully-aligned Outsider in one's ancestry. Like any class, a racial class progression does not need to be taken all the way through.

Prerequisites:
Type: Any corporeal, non-Outsider, non-Construct, non-Undead

Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special Mantles/Strikes
1st +1 +1 +1 +1 Damage Reduction, Outsider -
2nd +2 +1 +1 +1 Shield of Truth +1 level of existing class

HD: d8
Skills: 4+Int, 1 set
Prowess: 4 per level.

Proficiencies: Onori are proficient with all simple and martial weapons. Onori gain no proficiencies with armor or shields.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An onori has DR 1/Silver. This DR improves by one for every four Hit Dice the onori has (to DR 2/Silver at 4th level, DR 3/Silver at 8th level, DR 4/Silver at 12th level, DR 5/Silver at 16th level, and DR 6/Silver at 20th level).

Outsider: At 1st level, an onori creature's type changes to Outsider and they gain the Native and Law subtypes.

Mantles/Strikes: At 2nd level, an onori gains new mantles and increases the powers of her existing mantles as if she had also gained a level in whatever mantle-progressing class (such as a Paladin) she belonged to before she added the racial class. She does not, however, gain any other benefit a character of that class would have gained. This essentially means that she adds the level of onori to the level of whatever other mantle-progressing class the character has, then determines mantles known and their power accordingly.

If a character had more than one mantle-progessing class before she became an onori, she must decide to which class she adds each level of onori.

Alternatively, at 2nd level, an onori gains new strikes known and increases her atma pool as if she had also gained a level in whatever striking class (such as a Monk) she belonged to before she added the racial class. She does not, however, gain any other benefit a character of that class would have gained. This essentially means that she adds the level of onori to the level of whatever other striking class the character has, then determines strikes known, their power, and her atma pool accordingly.

If a character had more than one striking class before she became an onori, she must decide to which class she adds each level of onori for the purpose of determining strikes known, their power, and her atma pool.

Shield of Truth (Su): Once per day, an onori can conduct a ceremony at the beginning of the day. This ceremony takes fifteen minutes, and provides her one of the following abilities for the rest of the day:
  • Resistance: the onori gains a axiomatic bonus on saving throws equal to the amount of DR/Silver she receives from this class.
  • Resiliency: the onori gains bonus Hit Points equal to twice her character level. These are not temporary hit points: rather, these are actual hit points that can be cured and restored.
  • Rejuvenation: the onori gains the ability to use cure serious wounds as a spell-like ability once per day (caster level equal to one-half character level). If the onori has the Natural Talent racial feature (but not a similar feature such as Natural Magic or Inborn Psionics), she instead gains one extra charge and the ability to use cure serious wounds as one of those spell-like abilities.
  • Touch of Order: the onori gains the ability to use inflict serious wounds as a spell-like ability once per day (caster level equal to one-half character level). If the onori has the Natural talent racial feature (but not a similar feature such as Natural Magic or Inborn Psionics), she instead gains one extra charge and the ability to use inflict serious wounds as one of those spell-like abilities.
  • Mark of Justice: the onori gains the ability to use mark of justice as a spell-like ability once per day (caster level equal to one-half character level). If the onori has the Natural Talent racial feature (but not a similar feature such as Natural Magic or Inborn Psionics), she instead gains one extra charge and the ability to use mark of justice as one of those spell-like abilities.

Last edited by Fax Celestis : 02-27-2009 at 01:37 PM.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:29 PM   Top  -  End  -  #2
vegetalss4
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

overall this seems a rather balanced and cool option however theres just two issues i have with it.

first: the name. i just don't like it, as i thibk it sounds to much like stricht.
second: what happens if you don't have levels in a class that grant mantles/strikes?
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:32 PM   Top  -  End  -  #3
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

Quote:
Originally Posted by vegetalss4 View Post
first: the name. i just don't like it, as i thibk it sounds to much like stricht.
Yeah, it is a pretty bad name.

Quote:
second: what happens if you don't have levels in a class that grant mantles/strikes?
Nothing? It's like taking a class that advances spellcasting without having caster levels: it's a non-applicable class feature.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:35 PM   Top  -  End  -  #4
vegetalss4
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
Yeah, it is a pretty bad name.
why use it then
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
Nothing? It's like taking a class that advances spellcasting without having caster levels: it's a non-applicable class feature.
okay fair enough.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:36 PM   Top  -  End  -  #5
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

Quote:
Originally Posted by vegetalss4 View Post
why use it then
Because I couldn't think of anything better?
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:44 PM   Top  -  End  -  #6
Xondoure
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

How about combining key words connected to law such as justice, and order until you come up with a name you like? It's a very useful tactic when naming, and it usually gives good results.
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Old 02-25-2009, 03:17 PM   Top  -  End  -  #7
MammonAzrael
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Stricta (Law-Aligned)

This seems weaker than Xel'gash, but not by a lot. *shrug*

Any reason it doesn't have any stat changes? Granted, I can't really think of what stats Law ancestry would influence. Perhaps no modifiers is a fitting mirror to Xel'gash modifying any stats.

The DR seems nice for 2 levels, but will quickly be rendered moot (whereas stat boosts can have a larger effect and be much harder to duplicate). Any reason you didn't have it scale with character level?

Shield of Truth doesn't really fit, to me. This is a Lawful template/class, not Lawful Good. Why can it get cure serious wounds but not cause serious wounds?

Furthermore, it seems very weak when compared to Xel'gash. A Stricta can get a +1 unnamed bonus to saves or up to 20 extra HP, while a Xel'gash can cast suggestion or confusion? Since it looks like you're aiming to make the Stricta a much more martially oriented template/class, perhaps giving an increase to attack or damage rolls, self buffs like haste, protection from mind-effecting effects, dispel magic, and so on?

Also, while these are a cool idea, I worry that having them only advance certain styles will still pigeonhole them slightly. A Xel'gash Wizard will always be more powerful than a Stricta Wizard, for instance. Which is wierd, since I would think that the training and discipline required to be a Wizard would be well supported by being a Stricta. It's not a huge imbalance, since it's only one level, so I may be exageranting, but it's just what I've noticed.

I do like that it feels notably different from the Xel'gash though.

EDIT: I realized this was a very negative post, with little helpful ideas. Sorry about that, I didn't mean to come off as insulting. Here are some ideas about it:
  • On second look, I like that it doesn't modify your stats at all. It really contrasts well is the Xel'gash modifying everything.
  • The DR, I think could easily be tied to character level without a huge impact (1 DR per 2-4 levels depending on how much you want the single level to grant). And since it's from a Lawful template/class, would it make more sense to have the DR bypassed with Chaos-aligned attacks?
  • Shield of Truth should stay as a daily ritual, which I think gives it a great feel and helps the class fit to more martial theme it's class advancement gives it. But it needs the flexibility/improvement that the SLA progression of the Xel'gash offers.
    • The save bonus could scale up
    • The HP could be double you character level, or be temp HP that you can restore with 5 minutes meditation.
    • Cure serious wounds could easily also be inflict serious wounds.
    • Some other bonuses it could offer include attack or damage rolls, AC, Protection from Chaos, True Seeing, protection from mind-effecting/compulsion effects, protection from effects that change your form like polymorph/pertification/transmutation (or the ability to return others to their normal form, Mark of Justice, and Dispel Magic
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Last edited by MammonAzrael : 02-25-2009 at 05:32 PM.
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Old 02-25-2009, 03:21 PM   Top  -  End  -  #8
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

EDIT: Namechange.
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Old 02-25-2009, 05:17 PM   Top  -  End  -  #9
Tingel
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fax Celestis View Post
EDIT: Namechange.
A tremendous improvement.
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Old 02-25-2009, 10:56 PM   Top  -  End  -  #10
Human Paragon 3
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

I agree that the template should have scaling powers. The Xel'gesh gets them, after all.
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Old 02-25-2009, 11:10 PM   Top  -  End  -  #11
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Edits and updates, mostly at the recommendation of MammonAzrael. DR is now based on character level (take a look at the satyr to see where it came from) and there are a few more abilities within Shield of Justice. Also, the saves and HP options for Shield of Justice got a small boost.
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Old 02-25-2009, 11:23 PM   Top  -  End  -  #12
Lappy9000
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Well, I'm worthless on crunch, but "Onori" seem a good (and lawful) contrast to "Xel'gash."
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Old 02-25-2009, 11:45 PM   Top  -  End  -  #13
MammonAzrael
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

I like the changes, it looks great. The power looks to be at the same level as the Xel'gash, but still with a very different feel.

Also, the name is much better. Great choice!
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:51 PM   Top  -  End  -  #14
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Change from Natural Magic to Natural Talent in Shield of Truth feature.
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Old 02-27-2009, 01:10 PM   Top  -  End  -  #15
Magnor Criol
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

You left a "Stricta" in the line about shield proficiencies.

Out of pure curiosity, from whence came the word "Onori"?
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Old 02-27-2009, 01:36 PM   Top  -  End  -  #16
Fax Celestis
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnor Criol View Post
You left a "Stricta" in the line about shield proficiencies.

Out of pure curiosity, from whence came the word "Onori"?
Sources say "onoir" is a Gaelic word for honor. I altered it slightly and ran with it.
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Old 03-09-2009, 12:48 PM   Top  -  End  -  #17
MammonAzrael
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Default Re: [d20r, Race Template] Onori (Law-Aligned)

I really like the Shield of Truth ability, and how unique it feels, but I've thought about it, and something funny occurred to me. It's funny that the Law-focused Template/Class is the only one of the four that uses a unique mechanic instead of granting a Natural Magic/Talent pool. Only a minor nitpick, but a bit strange nonetheless.
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