Pixie in the Playground
Best use of a companion..... EVER!
So, I am a long time reader of OoTS, and a frequenter to Giantitp for many years now, but this is my first post. As such, I figured.... I need to start with something.... amazing. May I present you all with; The Bacon Bomb.
Our party, consisting of one sorcerer, one druid, one beguiler, one ranger, one duskblade, and one dragonshaman, in addition to a dire fox (ranger companion) and a dire (large) boar (about 7 foot tall, 10 foot long druid companion ). We are, and have been attempting to liberate the remaining forces of the dwarven army from a derger (spellcheck?)army. As we arrive on the third floor of the dwarven kingdom, our animal companions alert us to some danger ahead in the form of several enemies patrolling the corridor that we need to go through. A quick scout reveals that in fact it is many enemies, nearing the teens. This is a problem, as most of our party is running low on steam... not to mention spells. We take defensive postitions, and ready ourselves in case of a tough battle. Druid cast's enlarge person on the boar, making it a Huge boar, the original plan of course, being to use it as fortification, while we murder from behind. It's only when the derger go the other way, that realize we may be able to ambush them, however we now have a huge boar to deal with. "I'll just cancel the spell." Says the druid. It is at this exact moment, that I (the player of course) happen to glance at our sorcerer's spell list.
I squeal with glee as I realize she has several spells left she can cast, and one of her spells is, in fact: Levitate. For the next few moments, we discuss how we can levitate the boar, and the majority party for that matter, past the enemies. After some debate on some rules, and the GM deeming "I'll allow it." We proceed. This, in itself is not nearly an epic story, so I'll continue.
Our beguiler begins to search through his list of spells (multiclassed wizard as well) shouting "I have one spell left, and I have Invisibility on my list!" Joy spreads rapidly, as we began to talk about a stealth pig, flying 60 feet off the ground. (Insert jokes a'plenty regarding the time, when pigs fly.)
Now, normally, I (the ranger) am all about stealth, and I find the idea of a flying, invisible pig sooooo amazing. However, I have always been a stickler for big numbers. My mind instantly starts to calculate, and a look of OMG!!!!! begins to grow on my face.
Our party members notice this, and of course, ask "What do you have on your mind?"
Two words: Bacon. Bomb.
I quickly explain to them that the original boar (Ursala) weighed (as per request of the druid) a ridiculous 1200 pounds. Due to the fact that she had enlarge person cast on her, she would now weigh 9600 lbs. The rules of fall damage state something to the effect of "1d6 points of damage per 200lbs per every 10 feet dropped." You see where I am going with this? Laughter ensued as we all pointed out that the GM had said the roof was 65 ft off the ground, meaning we could in fact drop the bacon, dealing a whopping 320d6 damage to anything it landed on. Again, some discussion of rules, as well as much laughter, and the long awaited GM approval. "I'll allow it, but be warned: Ursala will also take the whopping 320d6 damage from the fall as well, and she will die, without a doubt. Even in the unlikely event of all 1's, it's still almost 250 damage over her max hp."
The sorcerer retorts with "What if I ready another levitate spell, and when she is approximately 5 foot from the ground, I recast it on Ursala?" She even offered to take several penalties and have someone call out "now!" for her to cast it. The GM agree's, but states that he'll roll a d4, with the results being 1-2, Ursala splats. 3, Ursala stops to soon, and does nothing to the enemies, and on the rare chance of a 4, Ursala will be safe, and will deal out the full 320d6 to the enemies. Of course since she is invisible, they wont get a chance to save against it.
We all agree, and position ourselves for what may very well be the best thing ever. Once we are all in position, we quickly run around to where the gm is rolling the d4 of destiny. We hold our breathes as it bounces off a laptop, then falls the floor. In a dire rush, it gets kicked under the couch.
"WAIT!" cries the gm.
"Move the couch, but do not touch the dice. No matter the roll, it's what we use!"
We mumble and groan, and one by one move from the couch. Two of us grab each end of this couch, and move it to the side.
"F***!!!" screams our GM as he is the first to see the beautiful, wonderfully amazing 4.
Every enemy in the patrol was caught in the fall. Not one was spared. The ground, permanently painted red as our pig, Ursala crushed them for an amazing 1068 damage.
Needless to say, we made it through that level of the dungeon, with relative ease.
Last edited by Tygerkitsune : 11-30-2013 at 12:43 AM.