Hello, and welcome to the fifth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here, here, here, and here.
Or, if you don't wish to read through all 200 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.
Please remember to keep it clean, folks! The board rules still apply!
When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!
New: Sure, we won't be winning any Oscars or anything, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own little awards.
Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!
Banners!
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Text:
Zanaril's
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Funky Goose's
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Discord's
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Saeyan
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rangermania
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Trixie
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MReav
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Kaytara
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half-halfling
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Tables!
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Initial Table
Roll 2d6 (or more!) decide which tables to pick the characters from.
OotS Table 1
OotS Table 2
OotS Table 3
OotS Table 4
Minion List
Dead Guy List
Table 1 - By Minion992929
Roy
Durkon
Celia
Xykon
Tsukiko
Vaarsuvius
Monster in The Dark
Miko
Nale
Elan
Haley
Belkar
Lord Shojo
Redcloak
Hinjo
Daigo
Kazumi
Inkyrius
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender
Table 2 - By Minion 992929
The Guy with a halberd
Sarah Greenhilt
Haley's dad
Thanh
Julio Scoundrél
Mr. Rodriguez
Horace Greenhilt
Therkla
Zz'Dtri
YokYok
Leeky Windstaff
The Cliffport chief of police
Windstriker
Jirix
Lien
Argent
Yor
Roll again twice
Roll again on twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender
Table 3 - By Minion992929
Soon Kim (incorporeal)
Shadowdancer
Hilgya
Dorukan
Bozzok
Crystal
Bandit King
Ancient Black Dragon
O-Chul
The Snarl
The Eye of Fear and Flame
Lord Kubota
Thog
Julia Greenhilt
Belkar
The oracle
Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again twice
Roll again and switch gender
Table 4 - By Minion 992929
The dragon's hoard
The chimera
The really dangerous trap
Roy's Archon
The Hydra
Teevo
Xykon's zombie dragon head
Roy's sword
The entire Hobgoblin army
The orc chieftain
The IFCC
Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might
Mr Scruffy
Hieronymus Grubwiggler
All of the Demon Roaches at once
Bone golem Roy
Roll again twice
Roll again on Tables 1, 2, and 3
Roll again twice on Initial Table
Roll again and switch gender
Minion List -Made By MReav
Goblin
Hobgoblin
Kobold
Ogre
Lizardfolk
Bug-people
Azure City Soldier
Bandit or Thieves Guild Member
Orc
Owlbear
Troll (flip coin to determine land or sea)
Zombie
Ghoul
City Guardsman
Angel-thing
Ghost Martyr
Roll again on another table.
Roll again twice
Roll Again and invert alignment
Roll again for minion army
Dead Guy List -Made By MReav
Samantha
Sangwaan
Hobgoblin General
Azure City General
Death Knight
Huecva
Trigak
Earth Dungeon Guardian
Fire Dungeon Guardian
Kraagor
Mijung
Eugene Greenhilt
Old Blind Pete
Giant Devil
Buggy-Lou
Isamu.
Roll Again on a different table
Roll Again Twice
Roll Again and Switch Gender
Roll again. If you roll this option twice in a row: Eastern Pantheon and World 1.0
Supplemental Plot Devices
Roll 1d4 (or more!)
Table 1
Table 2
Table 3
Table 4
Table 1 - By Nerdanel
Unrequited love
Love potion
Drunkenness
Snowed in
Stuck on a desert island
In the afterlife
Aliens Made Them Do It (not necessarily literal aliens)
True love
Love/hate relationship
Adultery
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)
Pink frills and white lace
French maid costume
Police/military uniform
High heels and black leather
American high school setting
Someone is a vampire
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Kidnapped (By somebody inside or outside of the pairing)
Roll again twice
Table 2 - by Sereg
Dream Sequence
Anonymous Dating Service
Bodyswapped
Meta
Curse
Spell gone wrong
Damsel/dude in distress
Lots and lots of angst (because then it will be true art)
Amnesia
Mistaken identity
Genre shift
Finding “new uses” for objects
The real world
Geas/Quest
Zone of Truth
Truth, dare or command
Voyeurism
In a playground
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table
Table 3 - by Sereg
Fulfilling an unusual fantasy (as demonstrated in Coffee Included’s V x Haley x Elan with Belkar watching fic)
Arranged marriage
Already married
Prostitution
Concubines
Inheritance of wealth and/or title from obscure dead relative
Class change/multiclassing
Team Evil is trying to save the world from the Oots’ plan to control/release the snarl
Past/future life
In 20 years from current comic
They discover that they are close relatives at the end
Disease
“The whole party is controlled by giant space cats and Xykon is from modern Earth”
Deus ex machina
With the author
With another crack-pairer
On the web-site
Lampshading (roll again)
Roll again twice
Roll again on another table
Table 4 - by Sereg
While arguing with the author
It’s not them, it’s their players/character sheets/stat blocks/minis/dice (Yes, I know that this isn’t a game, but when have we let canon stand in our way?)
To make someone else jealous
To save the world
Mind-control
Twins separated at birth
This is what the snarl actually does
In a watery environment
While under attack
Because of a literal genie
Because if they don’t they’ll die/get unmade
On the rebound
In jail/a dungeon
While playing strip-(insert game here)
Wardrobe malfunction
On meds
As part of their therapy
With a giant
With a subversion/aversion/inversion/double subversion of (roll again)
Roll again twice
Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!
Ok guys, new thread, and it's all happy and good, but I think we've got to crack down a bit. I hate to be a killjoy, but our last thread strayed wildly off topic a lot. So, (just as an example, nothing meant personally, and no names given) even though we're sorry you're having school problems and love to help, that's not really the topic of the thread. The rest of the forum is full of kind people, and they'd help to if you asked. I don't want to have a mod in here for any reason other that to help us revel in our infamy, and off-topicness is one reason they might bring down the hammer on us.
Ok guys, new thread, and it's all happy and good, but I think we've got to crack down a bit. I hate to be a killjoy, but our last thread strayed wildly off topic a lot. So, (just as an example, nothing meant personally, and no names given) even though we're sorry you're having school problems and love to help, that's not really the topic of the thread. The rest of the forum is full of kind people, and they'd help to if you asked. I don't want to have a mod in here for any reason other that to help us revel in our infamy, and off-topicness is one reason they might bring down the hammer on us.
Anyway, if we have to stay on topic, then we'll just... *rubs head again* you know, try to nudge each other in the right direction. We all want to keep the thread.
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The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
I know, I've been somewhere near that myself before. Like I said, nothing personal, and I'm sure the kind folks at, for example, the Depression Thread(?) could help.
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And you mean the squickies? ...I dunno...
I should have known enough to check the name before I posted.
You know, I remember back when this first got started, when it was just a few tables, you roll, then post a sentence or two of silliness--if that.
Now, it's turned into an amazing writer's workshop, where the budding authors of the GITP forums cut their teeth and hone their skills as they work to master their craft.
Now, it's turned into an amazing writer's workshop, where the budding authors of the GITP forums cut their teeth and hone their skills as they work to master their craft.
Which is why I entertained the idea of moving the thread to the Arts and Crafts forum.
I was half asleep earlier today and was thinking about this thread and Coffee's comic (I don't know when I started thinking/dreaming about the Crack Pairing thread in bed, and I'd rather not contemplate the implications...) and I remembered someone asking why Matt wanted to stay out of Maximum Security (or whatever it was called if I'm remembering that wrong) aside from the fact it was Maximum Security. (Before I forget, speaking of Coffee's comic, I literally lol'd at your fan comic, Discord.) Then for some reason I imagined a Maximum Security that every criminal avoids at all costs, for its only occupant is a mass murderer halfling who has been alone so long (having quickly stabbed and beheaded any cell mates) that he's snapped and begun talking to the aforementioned severed heads, even affectionately petting one and calling it "Mr. Scruffy". Matt was thrown into Maximum Security for an hour once. First the halfling began ranting about what an obvious disguise "you androgynous twit" was wearing just to come in and gloat over him but then things got far more alarming when he started coming at him grinning maniacally and saying something along the lines of, "You know what happens to pretty, purple-haired, elves is prison?"
I'll admit, I did consider keeping this thought to myself, but, then I thought about how I would feel if something I'd written had inspired a zany, slightly disturbing, crossover crack pairing, so I figured Coffee wouldn't mind.
If only I could figure out how Belkar ended up there in the first place, I could almost write the fic...
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Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler
Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
Julia: Teach me, you Dwarf!
Yes. This simply must be written.
Last edited by ShinyDelusion : 12-29-2009 at 09:28 PM.
I was half asleep earlier today and was thinking about this thread and Coffee's comic (I don't know when I started thinking/dreaming about the Crack Pairing thread in bed, and I'd rather not contemplate the implications...) and I remembered someone asking why Matt wanted to stay out of Maximum Security (or whatever it was called if I'm remembering that wrong) aside from the fact it was Maximum Security. (Before I forget, speaking of Coffee's comic, I literally lol'd at your fan comic, Discord.) Then for some reason I imagined a Maximum Security that every criminal avoids at all costs, for its only occupant is a mass murderer halfling who has been alone so long (having quickly stabbed and beheaded any cell mates) that he's snapped and begun talking to the aforementioned severed heads, even affectionately petting one and calling it "Mr. Scruffy". Matt was thrown into Maximum Security for an hour once. First the halfling began ranting about what an obvious disguise "you androgynous twit" was wearing just to come in and gloat over him but then things got far more alarming when he started coming at him grinning maniacally and saying something along the lines of, "You know what happens to pretty, purple-haired, elves is prison?"
I'll admit, I did consider keeping this thought to myself, but, then I thought about how I would feel if something I'd written had inspired a zany, slightly disturbing, crossover crack pairing, so I figured Coffee wouldn't mind.
If only I could figure out how Belkar ended up there in the first place, I could almost write the fic...
I don't mind at all. Seriously. Go nuts; I love this!
I know this is off topic. But I'll make it quick...
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Originally Posted by Sereg
No, not really. It's just that I've been doing other things simultaneously and didn't start reading as soon as you requested. It only took me two sessions. I must confess that I'm finding the plot a little...slow. However, I'm still enjoying it and that's not really unexpected at the beggining of a webcomic.
Yeah. I'm sorry about that. But once you get past the first 10 comics, it starts picking up. Basically, the first ten is to establish the characters and the settings so well that no one will get lost.
Yay! Glad I didn't get a for that thought! If I find the time and inspiration, perhaps I shall write it tomorrow or later tonight.
I only know of a small handful of authors who don't appreciate fanfiction, speculation, fan art, etc. It's just something that shows that you really like a story, and I think that I speak for a lot of people when I say that it gives a good bunch of authors a small high to see stuff like that.
So, really, asking to use other people's continuities/characters, while courteous, is most likely just politeness for the sake of politeness. Most people, myself included, give an immediate 'yes.'
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Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
I only know of a small handful of authors who don't appreciate fanfiction, speculation, fan art, etc. It's just something that shows that you really like a story, and I think that I speak for a lot of people when I say that it gives a good bunch of authors a small high to see stuff like that.
So, really, asking to use other people's continuities/characters, while courteous, is most likely just politeness for the sake of politeness. Most people, myself included, give an immediate 'yes.'
I figured (like I said, if someone did the same for something of mine (not that I have a lot of original work to speak of in the first place) I'd definitely be cool with it), but I was a little apprehensive about the possibility that I was walking the line between "d'Aww! She wants to write a fan fic!" and "Dude! Who comes up with suggestive prison scenes involving Belkar while half-asleep?!"
I may post a fanfic for your comic tonight CI, though I doubt it will be what you expect.
Edit:I may want to make some actual quotes out of context, it essentially starts by creating overtones that were not there during one of the strips, that okay?
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FAQ is not RAW!
Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
Last edited by Sstoopidtallkid : 12-29-2009 at 09:51 PM.
-Be taking place right after weathercontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolweatherc ontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolweathercontrolwe athercontrolweathercontrol so therefore out fo storyline
I may post a fanfic for your comic tonight CI, though I doubt it will be what you expect.
Edit:I may want to make some actual quotes out of context, it essentially starts by creating overtones that were not there during one of the strips, that okay?
Okay. Just don't make it R-rated. That's my only guideline.
Doing a bit of polishing on my Darth V x Tsikiko ship in the intervening time frame before I'm allowed to post on FF.net. I must say, it is... very citrus flavored. Although not for all audiences. I may have to put sufficient 'tags' to warn people what they're about to get into before reading.
I've thoroughly enjoyed it so far, and will likely to continue to do so, barring a catastrophic author breakdown.
Figured I'd reply to this here. Thanks for the kind words, and I don't plan on a catastrophic author breakdown, but who knows? I could snap at any moment!
As for the "new" "rules" (I put both in quotations because neither is entirely accurate), what is considered on-topic and what isn't?
Like, obviously any story or discussion of a story is on-topic. What about talking about Coffee and Silver's comics? My inner rules lawyer says no, but, as Kyronea pointed out, this thread has expanded into something of a writers' workshop, and Coffee's characters at least are available to be Crack Paired.
I think no matter what some off-topic discussion is going to come up. The best we can do is try to minimize it or move it to another thread.
Doing a bit of polishing on my Darth V x Tsikiko ship in the intervening time frame before I'm allowed to post on FF.net. I must say, it is... very citrus flavored. Although not for all audiences. I may have to put sufficient 'tags' to warn people what they're about to get into before reading.
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Lass, ye need to respect yet body.
for that thought! If I find the time and inspiration, perhaps I shall write it tomorrow or later tonight.
