Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nice one, Sereg.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

There may be a certain ammount of confirmation bias going on. First of all teenagers exaggerate. Just because someone said they worked through the kama sutra with their SO doesn't mean it's so. Second, you probably remember the times you walked into a room and there were people making out better than the times you walked into a room and they were talking about the movies. Third, teenagers have a healthy libido and like to experiment. And if beds are out, they'll get creative.

Coffee, the descent into horndog-dom is gradual. If you and B get together, it won't happen in a day. But in six months time? The sky's the limit.

Anyway, this isn't getting crack pairings done. Shippings, yes, but we're not allowed to do those.

No, I'm the queen of walking in on awkward situations.

Why do you think I leave my friend alone? The two of them have been together a year and a half.

Midterms. Wish me luck!

[Closak]

Good luck Coffee, you can do it!

We be cheering you on.

[Taekwondodo]

Originally Posted by Water-Smurf

On a related note, how do you think Vaarsuvius would react if Aarindarius was killed because of her? And how would Redcloak react if Vaarsuvius was being brutally hurt and abused right in front of him and he couldn't do anything?

I know people have answered this already but I wanted to add my two cents. Seeing Darius killed in front of her and knowing it was her fault would probably break her totally. Total loss of sanity.

Seeing Red hurt would cause rage towards the tormentor. She really loves him, even though she was slow to admit it and seeing him hurt would be like someone coming after her. If she couldn't do anything it would be like the ABD going after her family.

Originally Posted by NemoUtopia

Miko's Heart, Beyond Lawful Good
Part 1

Spoiler

Story

The first in an ongoing, long series about a hypothetical future for Miko's redemption in the immediate aftermath of Azure City's ruination. Thoughts? [edit]Oh, and no two parts will feature the same secondary character. This is in effect Miko/random-Sapphire-Guard-minion with a twist on 'in the afterlife' that will be made fully clear in the next installment.

Good story, really sounded like Miko narrating.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Midterms. Wish me luck!

I'd sacrifice a goat, but I'm all out of them.

Good luck!

Knowledge is Power.
Power Corrupts.
Study Hard.
Be Evil.

[Sereg]

@Stoopidtallkid and Coffee: Thanks for the compliments. You really know how to boost my ego.

By the way, is it just me or has it been ages since Cracklord last posted?

I've got an idea for Banjo x Xykon doll but it's not done yet. Any other requests?

Good luck for your midterms Coffee.

[The Odor]

Originally Posted by NemoUtopia

I'm pretty sure fiction about the Far Realms would still drive anyone insane

Here is "Tsukiko's ploy", part 2! As a plot note, it is conveniently placed after comic #665 and comic #700, providing an interesting brain teaser for those speculating on events off-camera and the cause for Tsukiko's speculations in #700

Spoiler

Tsukiko had everything prepared. She had done everything meticulously, the candles arrayed subtly for effect, her strongest draw undead on herself beneath her sheer teddy, subtle makeup and body paint accentuating her shapely bone structure, and had the ornaments of power precisely laid. She knew the lich of her heart valued power, and what better way to turn his eye? The tell-tale clack of Xykon’s stride interrupted Tsukiko’s thoughts, and she adjusted her posture very deliberately.

Xykon was muttering about the latest town that had been in their path, “…heh, now that was a great betting pool. And a great meteor swarm opportunity. Now I wonder if that lackey remembered to bring me that scroll…”

He stepped in to find Tsukiko and the alluring items of power, stopping the lich in his tracks. For once, he even missed that he had made a Will save. Recognizing a lackey trying to impress instinctively, Xykon spoke sarcastically, “I ask for a wish and you empty Redcloak’s private armory? Here I thought my phylacteric anniversary was next month…”

Tsukiko didn’t beckon explicitly, but instead coyly tossed her head, “Oh, these? I thought you’d enjoy gloating over past victories while you pondered your wish…”

Xykon certainly didn’t miss that Tsukiko was holding the scroll against her slender neck and just beneath her chin, an invitation to claim his new belonging. Xykon had certainly not ascended to lichdom and epic spell-slots without his fair share of intellect, and most his life (not to mention his entire unlife) in the evil business. So the natural question came, “How do I make this benefit me the most?”

Acting on a sudden impulse and idea, Xykon slowly took the scroll from Tsukiko, making sure to brush her skin from just above the top of her teddy to out from under her chin. ‘Ignorant’ of the effect he had just had, Xykon drawled, “Yes, well, I’ve been getting a few idle ideas. Maybe you could help me choose the most fun option?”

There was no missing the excitement following Xykon’s contact heightening with his suggestion, but the cunning lich swiftly averted his gaze as he tapped the scroll cap against his ulna in ‘deep thought’. Tsukiko draped herself eagerly on Xykon’s arm and he blithely declined to comment as she practically sparkled, “Well, you were always saying how we never have enough components, why not make it interesting with some for your favorite play-time spells?”

Xykon grinned evilly, “Why yes, that sounds absolutely delicious. Well done.”

Xykon bit back the snicker forming, the fleeting thought ‘Like fireballing a barrel of monkeys drenched in alcohol’ running through his brain. Always a lich of action, if sometimes idle action, Xykon dangled out a proposition coyly, “Tell me, how would you like duties to better assist my grand design? It would please me greatly and be very rewarding…”

Tuskiko’s heart leapt into her throat and she gasped out, “Absolutely, your commands are mine to fulfill!”

Xykon once more kept himself from snickering as Tsukiko’s eyes indicated the piece of furniture she was hoping his commands would lead them. Man, this not smirking thing was getting hard, but a lich has to do what a lich has to do for the greater fun of it all. Xykon quickly embellished the details of Tsukiko’s current work, making everything sound grand and ultimately fulfilling before finishing with a snap and characteristic fury, “…so I’d appreciate it if my powerful minions GOT TO WORK!”

The sudden surge of fear from Tsukiko was delicious, but he did notice how cute that end looked in black silk through the chemise. It had been a long time indeed since Xykon had indulged in anything resembling physical affection, but he did have the spells to make it more than worthwhile. Certainly more fun than the boring days between towns. Opening the scroll, Xykon made his tedious if profitable wish and pondered the best ways to make his new game more interesting.

Oh god yes...

[CoffeeIncluded]

Originally Posted by Sereg

@Stoopidtallkid and Coffee: Thanks for the compliments. You really know how to boost my ego.

By the way, is it just me or has it been ages since Cracklord last posted?

I've got an idea for Banjo x Xykon doll but it's not done yet. Any other requests?

Good luck for your midterms Coffee.

You're right, it has been.

Thanks guys. Math and Psych were okay (Even though there was a room change with Psych that I didn't know about and I spent 10 minutes running around the school when I should have been taking the test), but tomorrow is Physics...

Knowledge is Power.
Power Corrupts.
Study Hard.
Be Evil.

I dunno, am I capable of getting to step 4? Or even step 2?

[The Odor]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

You're right, it has been.

Thanks guys. Math and Psych were okay (Even though there was a room change with Psych that I didn't know about and I spent 10 minutes running around the school when I should have been taking the test), but tomorrow is Physics...



I dunno, am I capable of getting to step 4? Or even step 2?

If you want it you can get it.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

You're right, it has been.

Thanks guys. Math and Psych were okay (Even though there was a room change with Psych that I didn't know about and I spent 10 minutes running around the school when I should have been taking the test), but tomorrow is Physics...

Oh, you can do it. Here's an easy problem for you to work on:

Spoiler

If Coffee throws a physics book weighing 1 kg and it hits Vaarsuvius in the head with a speed of 3 meters/second - how much damage does the ensuing fireball do?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Oh, you can do it. Here's an easy problem for you to work on:

Spoiler

If Coffee throws a physics book weighing 1 kg and it hits Vaarsuvius in the head with a speed of 3 meters/second - how much damage does the ensuing fireball do?

Answer: Coffee will be running down the street screaming the second she hears the syllable "Fi--"

Encountering a phobia gives +15 to ft/round movement rate.

[Lubirio]

So you get to ready an action while throwing the book as well?

Nice.

[The Odor]

New Paring. Not my cross-over but more of a test of skill.

Spoiler

Rodney McKay had the worst day of he's life. He woke up by one of Sam's endless emergency drills that he had NOT been informed of. He looked like an idiot when he thought they were attacked for real. Then they served a gross soup for lunch. All of these events may look small but it got worse. This night a tribal planet they had helped a few months back had a feast of harvest. The team was invited as guests of honor. He was prepared to leave when he got radio about a Ancient device somebody had found and no one knew what it did. It kept an eye on an energy reading. But what energy reading they couldn't understand. So he was assigned to keep an eye on it. Why? Because he was the best scientist around and that made him most capable to handle what could happen. So instead of being an honor guest at a party he was staring on a screen that every tenth second spit out a number and made a sound. So it was understandable if he was a little drowsy.


Drr. 2,8. This would be slightly more fun if he knew what the number meant. Brrr. 3,8. What could it be. Mrr. 4,9 It was rising now. But it went in patterns. Up and down. But it was no order in the numbers. Msssrr. 39 That was a peak. Wrrrron. 100 What...


That was the last he could think before a bright light flashed from the screen. He was blinded for a minute and when he got he's vision back he for a second thought he had sustained brain damage. A girl with thin butterfly wings, white hair and a blue dress standing next to the machine. She looked shocked.
"Were did Roy go?" she asked.
"Who are you?" She then said.
"Oh Iam Dr Rodney McKay. Who are you?" He said. He had a feeling he recognised her from some were but at the same time he was sure that he never had met anybody with wings.
"Iam Celia." At these words it hit him.
"When you say Roy do you mean Roy Greenhilt warrior leader of the Order of the Stick?" He asked as he felt he's face take a turn for the green.
"Yes! Do you know of him?" she asked hopefully.
"Ahm sorta. You may wanna sit down." With that he reached for he's laptop and entered Atlantis personal Internet. Every time they got a connection to earth they took a home page for every inhabitant and made their own net. To help with home sickness feelings. He always picked Giant In The Playground. He loved Oots. He entered the address and linked to the latest comic and showed Celia. Magic link
"What is that."
"I'll try to explain."


Later:´
"So we are a amusement for you?"
"Sorta."
"But how can I be here?"
"I have a guess. You were summoned from my imagination by the device. I will try to put you back in."
"Thank you Rodney. Can I help?"
"You could give me an massage. If that's okay?"
"Sure."
Because this is the crack paring thread one thing led o another...


Rodney woke up in his bed. What a great dream he thought. He looked to his side and saw an letter. It was from Celia. To him.
Did it actually happen? He decided that he would never tell anybody.


In a place far far away: The Odor Walked through the Crack Paring house holding device with a screen.
"Can't let this slip again."

Thoughts?

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Lubirio

So you get to ready an action while throwing the book as well?

Nice.

No, the book was thrown during a surprise round and then V won initiative.

Okay, how about this one:

Spoiler

A boat is approaching a jetty at 6 meters/second. 2 meters from the jetty, the boat slows down to 3 meters/second. How long does it take to fix the jetty.

My cat says he would wish you luck, but he doesn't really care.

Originally Posted by The Odor

Spoiler

Rodney McKay had the worst day of he's life. He woke up by one of Sam's endless emergency drills that he had NOT been informed of. He looked like an idiot when he thought they were attacked for real. Then they served a gross soup for lunch. All of these events may look small but it got worse. This night a tribal planet they had helped a few months back had a feast of harvest. The team was invited as guests of honor. He was prepared to leave when he got radio about a Ancient device somebody had found and no one knew what it did. It kept an eye on an energy reading. But what energy reading they couldn't understand. So he was assigned to keep an eye on it. Why? Because he was the best scientist around and that made him most capable to handle what could happen. So instead of being an honor guest at a party he was staring on a screen that every tenth second spit out a number and made a sound. So it was understandable if he was a little drowsy.


Drr. 2,8. This would be slightly more fun if he knew what the number meant. Brrr. 3,8. What could it be. Mrr. 4,9 It was rising now. But it went in patterns. Up and down. But it was no order in the numbers. Msssrr. 39 That was a peak. Wrrrron. 100 What...


That was the last he could think before a bright light flashed from the screen. He was blinded for a minute and when he got he's vision back he for a second thought he had sustained brain damage. A girl with thin butterfly wings, white hair and a blue dress standing next to the machine. She looked shocked.
"Were did Roy go?" she asked.
"Who are you?" She then said.
"Oh Iam Dr Rodney McKay. Who are you?" He said. He had a feeling he recognised her from some were but at the same time he was sure that he never had met anybody with wings.
"Iam Celia." At these words it hit him.
"When you say Roy do you mean Roy Greenhilt warrior leader of the Order of the Stick?" He asked as he felt he's face take a turn for the green.
"Yes! Do you know of him?" she asked hopefully.
"Ahm sorta. You may wanna sit down." With that he reached for he's laptop and entered Atlantis personal Internet. Every time they got a connection to earth they took a home page for every inhabitant and made their own net. To help with home sickness feelings. He always picked Giant In The Playground. He loved Oots. He entered the address and linked to the latest comic and showed Celia. Magic link
"What is that."
"I'll try to explain."


Later:´
"So we are a amusement for you?"
"Sorta."
"But how can I be here?"
"I have a guess. You were summoned from my imagination by the device. I will try to put you back in."
"Thank you Rodney. Can I help?"
"You could give me an massage. If that's okay?"
"Sure."
Because this is the crack paring thread one thing led o another...


Rodney woke up in his bed. What a great dream he thought. He looked to his side and saw an letter. It was from Celia. To him.
Did it actually happen? He decided that he would never tell anybody.


In a place far far away: The Odor Walked through the Crack Paring house holding device with a screen.
"Can't let this slip again."

Thoughts?

Interesting. I'm not too fond of meta-fiction (breaking the fourth wall are my least favorite parts of OotS), but... I'll have to consider this.

Förrexten, vilken del av Sverige kommer du från?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

No, the book was thrown during a surprise round and then V won initiative.

Okay, how about this one:

Spoiler

A boat is approaching a jetty at 6 meters/second. 2 meters from the jetty, the boat slows down to 3 meters/second. How long does it take to fix the jetty.

Critical information missing.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Förrexten, vilken del av Sverige kommer du från?

...What?

[The Odor]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

No, the book was thrown during a surprise round and then V won initiative.

Okay, how about this one:

Spoiler

A boat is approaching a jetty at 6 meters/second. 2 meters from the jetty, the boat slows down to 3 meters/second. How long does it take to fix the jetty.

My cat says he would wish you luck, but he doesn't really care.



Interesting. I'm not too fond of meta-fiction (breaking the fourth wall are my least favorite parts of OotS), but... I'll have to consider this.

Förrexten, vilken del av Sverige kommer du från?

Norrland. 10 mil från sundsvall.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

...What?

The Odor is from Sweden, which gives us an advantage when exchanging information.

I asked where in Sweden he was from. And it's very far from where I live. About 460 miles.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

The Odor is from Sweden, which gives us an advantage when exchanging information.

I asked where in Sweden he was from. And it's very far from where I live. About 460 miles.

Ah, I thought it was something with the thread.

How do you get the accents though?

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Ah, I thought it was something with the thread.

How do you get the accents though?

We don't. I don't speak with that heavy a Gothenburgian accent anyway, and I've been to Norrland (where the Odor emanates from) enough to be able to insert the thick 'l's, the chopping off of the ends of words and the occasional inward whistle on my own...

Oh, and BTW: I don't think the mods will like if we continue speaking in foreign languages, since it makes their job impossible. So, it was OK for a gag but... no more now.

[Lubirio]

I think she meant the å, among others.

Edit: I personally copy/paste from here.

[Mythestopheles]

Ok, so I finally followed a banner linking here. I’ve checked out some of the work and… Well I kinda like it. I kinda feel dirty inside for liking it. But… I figure, I shouldn’t try to hide it, especially from people on the internet.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

We don't. I don't speak with that heavy a Gothenburgian accent anyway, and I've been to Norrland (where the Odor emanates from) enough to be able to insert the thick 'l's, the chopping off of the ends of words and the occasional inward whistle on my own...

No, I mean the accents on the words you type.

I have a slight New York accent (Because, you know, I live there ), but what you're more likely to notice if you were to speak to me is that I speak very, very quickly.

Originally Posted by Mythestopheles

Ok, so I finally followed a banner linking here. I’ve checked out some of the work and… Well I kinda like it. I kinda feel dirty inside for liking it. But… I figure, I shouldn’t try to hide it, especially from people on the internet.

Why should you feel dirty? Join the party! (Brain bleach to the left).

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Lubirio

I think she meant the å, among others.

Edit: I personally copy/paste from here.

Oh. Swedish keyboards. "å" is pronounced like a in law (I'm assuming somewhat standard english here), "ä" is pronounced like ai in fair and "ö" - there's really not a good English equivalent I can think off, but like the eu in chaffeur and hateur. Something like that.

[Mythestopheles]

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Why should you feel dirty? Join the party! (Brain bleach to the left).

Very well, *prepares brain bleach in a convenien container for easy application*. Now I feel better. I may or may not be able to contribute myself. But I'll try.

[Lubirio]

So the "ö" is like the "ø" in Danish, like in the English word blur?

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Lubirio

So the "ö" is like the "ø" in Danish, like in the English word blur?

Thank you! That's the perfect example. Then there's all kinds of rules on how to pronounce the specific words of course, but this is the basic.

[Lubirio]

It's like the "u" in Dutch, which I've had to explain many a time before, it took me a while to find the perfect short word.

[The Odor]

Originally Posted by Mythestopheles

Ok, so I finally followed a banner linking here. I’ve checked out some of the work and… Well I kinda like it. I kinda feel dirty inside for liking it. But… I figure, I shouldn’t try to hide it, especially from people on the internet.

You shouldn't. We all do a while but it will pass.

[Lawyergoblin]

Aside from the current conversation, enjoy this pairing! (The matching should be easy to follow, but it isn't RedcloakxCelia.

Spoiler

Vaarsuvius rested on the small island, leaning back against the rock. She read on inside of her book, hoping to immerse herself in something so meaningless so she wouldn’t have to relive the same memories over and over. Every time she even blinked, she could see the soldiers face, contorted with rage, anger directed at her, for her own useless magic. Vaarsuvius hung her head in shame. She knew she should have done something, anything to help those soldiers. Her head ached, and her arms hung loosely at her sides from tiredness, but she forced herself not to trance.

Eventually she grew tired of her book. The sun blared over the island, and shade was impossible to find. Piling her books enough high enough so she could read while standing up, the accursed imp returned to her. It floated close by, but still a small distance away. “So…hey there, again.” The small imp asked, flying closer, beating its small wings. “Great gods of magic, have you actually returned?” Vaarsuvius replied dryly, almost completely locked into her reading. Vaarsuvius inwardly groaned as the demon pressed on, asking about the magic the elf used and how to make it better. “Nothing a mage like you couldn’t finish in a few weeks, at the most.”

Raising her arm to be level with the flying imp, which glowed with magical energy, and responded calmly; “You make an intriguing offer, one that is very tempting.”
“By design.”

“It would seem that I have little alternative than to answer thusly: Disintegrate!” shouting the spell, a green ray of crackling magic shot out of her extended hand. “Whoa! Hey, you almost hit me with that!” the imp shot upwards, crying out in fright at the aspect of becoming a small pile of dust.

“Apologies, I will endeavor to aim more accurately next round, spawn of hell!” The imp flew into the air again, hoping to dodge as Vaarsuvius prepared to cast a second spell. Before she could release the words to cast it again, she heard a whispered voice from behind her, “Vaarsuvius, you may want to save yours spells, you’re going to need them.”

Spinning around, Vaarsuvius saw a figure floating in the air. “What, surprised to see me all of the sudden?” the Drow grinned, green magic crackling in his dark hand.

Questions and comments permitted, plus any corrections or complaints. On a side note, I am only willing to devote my time to one long crack pairing at a time. Which would the masses prefer?

[The Odor]

Originally Posted by Lawyergoblin

Aside from the current conversation, enjoy this pairing! (The matching should be easy to follow, but it isn't RedcloakxCelia.

Spoiler

Vaarsuvius rested on the small island, leaning back against the rock. She read on inside of her book, hoping to immerse herself in something so meaningless so she wouldn’t have to relive the same memories over and over. Every time she even blinked, she could see the soldiers face, contorted with rage, anger directed at her, for her own useless magic. Vaarsuvius hung her head in shame. She knew she should have done something, anything to help those soldiers. Her head ached, and her arms hung loosely at her sides from tiredness, but she forced herself not to trance.

Eventually she grew tired of her book. The sun blared over the island, and shade was impossible to find. Piling her books enough high enough so she could read while standing up, the accursed imp returned to her. It floated close by, but still a small distance away. “So…hey there, again.” The small imp asked, flying closer, beating its small wings. “Great gods of magic, have you actually returned?” Vaarsuvius replied dryly, almost completely locked into her reading. Vaarsuvius inwardly groaned as the demon pressed on, asking about the magic the elf used and how to make it better. “Nothing a mage like you couldn’t finish in a few weeks, at the most.”

Raising her arm to be level with the flying imp, which glowed with magical energy, and responded calmly; “You make an intriguing offer, one that is very tempting.”
“By design.”

“It would seem that I have little alternative than to answer thusly: Disintegrate!” shouting the spell, a green ray of crackling magic shot out of her extended hand. “Whoa! Hey, you almost hit me with that!” the imp shot upwards, crying out in fright at the aspect of becoming a small pile of dust.

“Apologies, I will endeavor to aim more accurately next round, spawn of hell!” The imp flew into the air again, hoping to dodge as Vaarsuvius prepared to cast a second spell. Before she could release the words to cast it again, she heard a whispered voice from behind her, “Vaarsuvius, you may want to save yours spells, you’re going to need them.”

Spinning around, Vaarsuvius saw a figure floating in the air. “What, surprised to see me all of the sudden?” the Drow grinned, green magic crackling in his dark hand.

Questions and comments permitted, plus any corrections or complaints. On a side note, I am only willing to devote my time to one long crack pairing at a time. Which would the masses prefer?

This was nice reading. It brought me back to older days.
This one would be prefeard by me.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Oh! For the Mass Thieves' Guild crack pairing, I need to know one thing:

Can somebody please elaborate on the "Haley taking a bath" scene in On The Origins of PC's?