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16) I cannot throw party members who are smaller than me at the enemy
16b.) Throwing party members who are LARGER than me at the enemy is right out. (Actually it is totally awesome, but so are about 20% of the other ideas on this thread, so...)
106) I am not allowed to leave the table in the middle of a serious strategic discussion and then return to the table shouting "LEEEEEEROOOOOY JENNNNKIIIIIINSSS!" after which I charge into the dungeon/booby-trapped room/dragon's lair/Abyss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geno9999
149: Cannot shout "LEEEEROY JENKINS!!!" whenever I enter a battle
151: I will not ignore my party members when they say things anymore...
152: My character may not have more than two races.
153: If said character must have more than one race, I may not use my character's mixed heritage as a premise for a tragic backstory.
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BRC gave me this commiepuppy. Thanks!
Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*
I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.
Last edited by Groundhog : 02-17-2010 at 11:37 PM.
154. If the campaign is a serious storyline full of action and intrigue, I am not allowed to play a 400-pound transgender halfling named "Mort Periwinkle the Second." Same goes for a druid named Snappy FiveSmax whose reason for adventure was "I had a bet going with the koalas" and had a camel randomly airdropped in as her companion.
And yes, these were both actual attempts at creating characters in the early stages of my campaign. I was not amused.
__________________ LGBTAitp
Last edited by Dire Moose : 03-02-2010 at 06:54 AM.
163) I am not to turn major cities into silent hill style hell holes
163) Bringing a chunk of the abyss to my home forest is frowned upon by the druid council.
164) My Sorcerer/Dread witch/Nightmare spinner is not a more effective version of a druid just because anyone wanting to harm my forest defecates in their britches before they can do any real damage.
165) I will not have theme songs.
166) If my character is more horrifying than the BBEG, I cannot usurp his position.
167) I will not "Drag the party to hell" just because my character is a heartless monster/tragic villain and I wanted a morally ambiguous campaign.
168) I will not abuse absorb fear and my undead immunities to give my fear effects +37 to caster level, or to cast mind rape 147 times per round...when it isn't my turn.
169) Any cohort with the uber-charger build will be smote.
170) My harem and monstrous army ARE mutually exclusive. No exceptions.
171) I cannot harness fear as an arcane power source in order to boost my physical stats into the 100's.
172) I will not orchestrate strange mind-fornication pranks via use of my slender man character and my friend who is easily 7' in height.
173) If the DM is no longer willing to be in the same room as me until I stop roleplaying, I will not expect bonus XP.
174) Sanity is not necisarily for the weak
175) I will not abuse prestige class abilities to intimidate Strahd.
180. I am not allowed to play an advocate of democracy in a medieval fantasy.
181. Explosive Metamagic cannot be attached to divination spells.
182. In no circumstances will I line more than 50 peasants in a single file and give them a 10-foot pole.
183. I will not play a 10-year-old dragonborn girl with a rod of wonder.
184. If my erudite attempts to seek out a wizard with mental pinnacle, I will be defenestrated by a copy of Complete Psionics.
185. Magical girl is not a valid prestige class.
186. The use of maneuvers to end "DM's Girlfriend" is strictly forbidden.
187. MY NAME IS ALWAYS HUGE.
188. Polymorph Any Object is not able to produce any of the following: rail guns, rocket launchers, meteors, nuclear warheads, Jesus, blood of virgins, varia suits, marijuana, sodium, or zippo cat.
189. In the event that I play a heartwarder, I may not take the leadership feat and wear black corsets.
190. Being drunk does not make me immune to being dead.
191. "Have a p*n*s" is not a valid flaw.
192. If I purchase or possess any more than 20 chickens, I am no longer allowed near flammable substances.
193. A katana is not immune to sunder, disarm, missing, or the status "I am not on fire."
194. If I meet a cleric, I will not attempt to use my diplomacy skill to convert him to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
195.BESM: My mechs are not allowed to take the "Owns a Mecca" ability.
Last edited by Felyndiira : 02-18-2010 at 02:05 PM.
198: After the last incident, whip feather tokens are retroactively nonexistent.
199: The fact that rust monsters pose no threat to the party do to the lack of metal use also means they are not a challenge, which means no experience may be gained by overcoming them. So no, the party may not become epic via rust monster genocide.
200: I am not allowed to team up with an NPC who was supposed to be my personal rival, immediately upon their introduction, to fight two of the other PCs ever again.
To be fair, I had a perfectly good reason, and the other PCs deserved it.
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Avatar by Vulion. Vectored by me.
201. After charging madly into battle and shouting 'LEEEROY JEEENKIINNNS!' just to piss off the WoW addict, I will not say "Least I have chicken" at the end of the resulting slaughter. I do not, and if I do it will be taken away.
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I think I've had enough for a while.
202. Picking up small children with your tail to give them "dragon-back rides" is frowned upon, even if you never leave the ground and move them around quite slowly and gently and the country has both humans and dragons co-existing (mostly) peacefully.
Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level) Futhark rune by Icewalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonprime
Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.
214. I will not make 7 different types of undead from 1 corpse.
215. There is no such thing as an adamantine toilet.
216. Adamantine toilets do not do enough damage to knock out the sorcerer when he kicks it.
217. Skeletons cannot form mariachi bands.
218. Aquatic elves do not ask if you'd like to "Rides de shoopuff?"
219. Keeping kobolds impaled on your lance as trophies is in bad taste.
220. I will not smoke EVERY bush/plant/tree in sight.
221. I will not use a ring of invisibilty to drop yogurt on passersby from the rooftop while making pidgeon noises.
222. There is no such thing as a were-cow.
223. "Ehlonna's Seed Pouch" is not to be referred to as "Ehlonna's N*t Sack"
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Quote:
"To play a fighter is to play the game.
To play a wizard is to understand the rules.
To understand the rules, and play a fighter, is to understand the game."
-Lycar
218. Aquatic elves do not ask if you'd like to "Rides de shoopuff?"
224. I am not allowed any more Final Fantasy references. This includes, but is not limited to characters with names from the series (Cloud, Leon), characters with similar backgrounds (Warriors of Light, Summoners on a Pilgrimage), and calling attacks with similar names (Ultima, Omnislah).
225. The previous rule now applies to 8-Bit Theater and Cactuar and Tonberry.
226. The above rule now applies to any webcomic and video game whatsoever. Don't try for getting books, movies, and shows banned too.
232: Being a Drow is not a capitol offense
233: It is also not punishable by 8 Bestow Curse's, Hold Person, Charm Monster and Gaes.
234: Especially not if they are PC's.
234b: "Numpty" is not Draconic for "drow".
235: I may not strand my rival outside of the galaxy.
235b: Especially not by simply choosing to allow him to do what he has planned.
236: I am not allowed to equip enemy Orks with Heavy Bolters because "It'll be funny, just watch!"
237: I am not allowed to take Skill Focus on any skill ever again.
238: I am not allowed to use my ridiculous Bluff skill to convince the king his daughter got herself pregnant because she has actually been replaced by some kind of asexual evil outsider.
239: I may not name my weapons "A**reamer".
240: I may not use a pick again, especially with the feats Weapon Focus/Specialization (pick) and Improved Critical (pick).
241: I am not allowed to play a Barbarian whose name is Me-Gusta Boooom, especially if those are the only words in Common he can speak and his preferred battlecry.
242: Ring of Three Wishes has it's limits, and I cannot affect the other party member's genitals in any way. *sadface*
As a DM:
243: I cannot affect the other party member's genitals in any way. *sadface*
244: Silent Hill is not an appropriate name for the undead city.
245: The BBEG's signature spell can be "Kamehameha", however if his name is also Goku, then the players are allowed to throw their PH's at me.
246: Every single intelligent monster race cannot have it's own cult devoted to a strangely ambiguous god.
247: I cannot call the Drow 'Sin'dorai' just to tick off the WoW players.
248: I am not allowed to flick open the MM to a random page and force the players to encounter what's on the page. Sometimes, the fight is easy. Usually....
249: A wizard raising an army of Melted Adamantine Oozes is only funny (as hell) to me.
250: Said oozes cannot also be immune to the Wish spell, simply because the wizard used his own Wish spell to make them that way. Especially if I haven't stated so beforehand.
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Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
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by Thecrimsonmage and 
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by Akrim.elf
and current made by me.
Futhark rune by Icewalker.
