Silly Message Board GamesA forum for any kind of quote games, continuing story games, "What would you do if?" games, or whatever anyone comes up with. Old threads will now expire after one month.
2566: My rogue's motivation cannot involve restoring his honour by capturing another party member.
2567: I do not deal extra damage to opponents if I'm sufficiently annoyed at them.
2568: Lying on a resume in-character is allowed. Lying on a character sheet out-of-character is not.
2569: My fighter cannot whack any more people through doors.
2570: I cannot ask my opponent if I get six attacks per round, or only five.
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When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2572: I cannot play a Pixie Who's back-story involves a Bestow Curse Spell causing a Size reduction in my family line for generations, and has the Born Small Homebrew Trait.
2573: More so if I am any kind of None Caster or Gish.
2574: Especially if I'm doing something insane with mounted or unarmed melee combat and out damaging the rest of the party by a long shot.
2575: Also cannot do with any other tiny or smaller Fey with a massive Cha.
2576: No matter how awesome/badass/Adorable it/they might be.
Haven't actually done that one, but I intended to do it one of these days just for the giggles.
2566: My rogue's motivation cannot involve restoring his honour by capturing another party member.
I have done that, though it was restoring the honor of my previous character, who the party member in question killed by accident (Shooting into a grapple? Bad idea!). Given that previous character was the bastard son of a merchant prince and new character was his retainer sent out to retrieve him from danger, it made sense. Also was a Whisper Gnome Ninja. So much fun!
2577. I'm not allowed to provide lines for the bard anymore.
2577b. Even if he's no good at taunts and jokes.
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Rule of Cool Contributor and Goon
I have done that, though it was restoring the honor of my previous character, who the party member in question killed by accident (Shooting into a grapple? Bad idea!). Given that previous character was the bastard son of a merchant prince and new character was his retainer sent out to retrieve him from danger, it made sense. Also was a Whisper Gnome Ninja. So much fun!
2579: Im not allowed to make a new charecter whoes sole purpose is to kill the player/s that i feel caused my dead.
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30 years old, been gamming for 22 of them.
Current games on the board
Spoiler
-=D&D 3.5=- DM
Blackwool Mansion [3.5, Forgotten Realms, Psionic] -=OOC=- -=IC12=- -=Were Wolf=- Player Assasins V -Died day 4 Seer's Academy - still alive Writer's Block - still recruiting
The one about the rogue was actually based on one of my own characters, who I only realized resembled Prince Zuko after I'd finished his concept.
2580: Enemies do not take damage if I accidentally hit their miniatures with the dice.
2581: No more escaping imprisonment with a 1st-level spell.
2582: If our main antagonist is the most moral person in the world, something is wrong with the party.
2583: I cannot kill something with taunts alone.
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When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2584. I don't care if you got raucous applause from the other players, no more Man of La Mancha songs at the table! (Note: I actually did this with my bard/cavalier.)
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2590: All my skills can't be with various kinds of swords.
2591: My character's goals cannot involve or result in the complete annihilation of any sentient species.
2592: Using TV Tropes against an enemy, no matter the circumstances, is an Evil act.
2593: I do not get roleplaying experience for leaving the party after all my teammates do something spectacularly stupid.
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When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2593: I do not get roleplaying experience for leaving the party after all my teammates do something spectacularly stupid.
2594: Nor do I get XP or kudos if, while the rest of the party were out getting themselves killed by being spectacularly stupid, I chose to not be a part of that idiocy and instead did something to further our goals during that time.
2595: As DM or a player, I am not allowed to factor the party doing something incredibly stupid into any of my plans.
2595a: Even if I am right a good 9/10 of the time.
2596: It is apparently considered a **** move to play a missing player's character by looking at all possible options and choosing the stupidest of those.
2596a: Especially if said PC has high Int and Wis scores.
2596b: Even if I am right a good 9/10 of the time (and the 1/10 of the time I am wrong is because I overlooked what was ACTUALLY the stupidest option...).
2597: I am not allowed to take the Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Fecal Matter feat.
2597a: Even if my character is an ape and it would be completely in character to do so.
2597b: This feat in fact does not exist, and never will.
2598: Holy Word + caster level boosting cheese + wiping out the BBEG during our first encounter, when he was supposed to demonstrate how powerful he is = me not getting invited back to the game for a long time.
2599: When one of the first things a DM says is something about how overpowered the base 3.5 Monk is, I am not allowed to see that as an opportunity to try all the game-breaking cheese that all my previous DM's vetoed.
2600: I am not allowed to laugh when the DM's patience with the resident Chaotic Stupid party member finally wears out.
__________________
Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
2601. I am not allowed to use my ridiculously high Bluff modifier when the DM clearly wants us to fight, or do something of that nature. Even if it makes the most sense.
2602. I am not allowed to torture people for information.
2603. I am not allowed, under any circumstances, to use telekinesis to force choke people.
2604. When the DM expects us to go in as an adventuring party and nothing else, I am not allowed to use my character's vast wealth and holdings to hire an army of mercenaries, nor am I allowed to use any of the planar binding spells for the same end result.
2605. I am not allowed to use Otiluke's Telekinetic Sphere to just encage the people we're fighting for no saving throw, and leave.
2606. I am not allowed to just destroy the entire building the BBEG is in. I must actually go in and fight him.
2607. Whenever townsfolk or other commoners are involved, I am not allowed to meet their force in kind.
2608. I will not use bestow curse as a means of keeping party members in line.
2609. I will not kill members of my party because I or my character deems them untrustworthy.
2610: I will not cast Bestow Curse on someone and then attempt to sell them snake oil as a cure.
2610a: I will not use party members to demonstrate to crowds of people that my snake oil cure-all works by casting Bestow Curse on them.
2611: I will not sell saps ever again. Especially when in the middle of a desert. No matter how clever it may be to sell sand to desert people (a sap is a small leather bag with sand in it), and no matter how clever I may feel to sell saps to a bunch of saps.
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
2612: I may not name my wizard character Ozymandias, especially if I say he's a wonderful person.
2613: Bards do not get a bonus with damage from wide-area projectile attacks.
2614: The power of love is not designed primarily for combat.
2615: If my character has multiple personalities, they do not get class levels for each personality.
2616: Male and heterosexual unicorns do too exist.
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When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2617: Thou shalt not use ye olde butchered englishe in thy campaign which doth consisteth of only frenchly-accented people.
2618: Shouldst the above cometh to pass, thee shalt not quotest thy 'Gandalf'.
2618a: Even when fightingst a balor. Eth.
2619: 'Death to the Warm Bloods' cannot be the battlecry of your yuan-ti if there are in fact warm bloods in the party.
2619a: Particularly if you are in fact planning to betray them.
2620: Paladins and/or clerics played by me are no longer allowed to have ranks in bluff. (Yes, there is a story behind that. Yes, anyone can ask.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurityIcekiller
2581: No more escaping imprisonment with a 1st-level spell.
The hay spell was that?!
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"Don't mess around with elves. You can't argue with them and they always have a fireball up their sleeve. Or maybe a pegasus. With...like...crossbow machine guns on it or something." -Anonymous
Sadly, I have forgotten who made this avatar. But whoever it was, good show!
2617: Thou shalt not use ye olde butchered englishe in thy campaign which doth consisteth of only frenchly-accented people.
Question for clarification.
What if one hath in their possetion, thine Holy Handgrenade of Antioch? Wouldest not one recite to one's allies, the correct handling and usage of such a device?
Wouldest not one inform the user, that one must count to three, that one willeth not count to four, nor shall one count to two unless proceeding directly onwards to three, and that "Five is right out!"
Shouldest this not be?
Clarification the Second?
What if you are lobbing the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch at the French People with Outrageous Accents, whom previously did suggest that one's mother was a hamster?
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
Question for clarification.
What if one hath in their possetion, thine Holy Handgrenade of Antioch? Wouldest not one recite to one's allies, the correct handling and usage of such a device?
Wouldest not one inform the user, that one must count to three, that one willeth not count to four, nor shall one count to two unless proceeding directly onwards to three, and that "Five is right out!"
Shouldest this not be?
Clarification the Second?
What if you are lobbing the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch at the French People with Outrageous Accents, whom previously did suggest that one's mother was a hamster?
*There is no Holy Hand Grenade.
*No, not even then.
2621: Archons do not get bonuses with bows.
2622: Elves do not automatically have ranks in Craft (Toymaking).
2623: No claiming that the Fox's Cunning spell should reduce Intelligence rather than improve it using their listed Intelligence of 2 as proof.
2624: Crossbreeding kitsune with feline people to produce cats-o'-nine-tails is forbidden.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2620: Paladins and/or clerics played by me are no longer allowed to have ranks in bluff. (Yes, there is a story behind that. Yes, anyone can ask.
I'm asking.
(Plus there's a story behind all of mine, as well--or, if not, I at least contemplated these)
2625. I am not allowed to take advantage of a warforged party member, or party member otherwise treated as property's, one weakness to kidnap them and deliver them to the people I'm working for.
2626. I am not allowed to play characters with Medieval Italian accents.
2627. I will not kill NPCs that are important to plot and just cast speak with dead/find someone who will to get the information we needed.
2628. I will not turn in fellow party members, even if they are criminals and my character was required to be Lawful Evil.
2629. I will not take advantage of rules the DM added in through rule zero to one situation only to alter the entire timestream.
2630: No matter how high my relevant skills are, how rich I am, OR what the rules say, I am not allowed to build/summon/reanimate anything that could kill all of our enemies and the whole party without breaking a sweat.
__________________
Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
*There is no Holy Hand Grenade.
*No, not even then.
Faith, thy speakest truth!
2631: The party lasher cannot use the third hand ability with a coil of rope to pick the keys off the guard who is watching our cell.
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"Don't mess around with elves. You can't argue with them and they always have a fireball up their sleeve. Or maybe a pegasus. With...like...crossbow machine guns on it or something." -Anonymous
Sadly, I have forgotten who made this avatar. But whoever it was, good show!
2632: I may not fire myself out of a siege weapon for the purpose of surprising my enemies to get a sneak attack.
2633: I may not fire myself out of a siege weapon to use my body as ammunition/reach the fight faster
2633a: I dont get bonus damage for wearing spiked full-plate
2633b: I cant fire my party members out of siege weapons for the same purpose.
2634: I cannot build a golem made of siege weapons.
2635: Just leave the sige weapons alone, okay
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Sorry for my absence, but had a creative block for the past while.
I'm gonna be against the flow here and say outlined.
What? Everyone else are against the flow too, okay?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Glyphstone
In the grim statistics of the far future, there is only math.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kneenibble
Most Hilarious Murderer in the Playground. Both his episodes of hysterically ending my life left me chuckling even hours later when I thought about them.
2637: I cannot deliberately misspell things written in Explosive Runes just to get pedants to read them.
2638: Upon resurrection, my character doesn't get bonus experience if they died in an especially spectacular, hilarious, or stupid way.
2639: I may not play a character of the opposite sex if said character is a cross-dresser, and I'm definitely not allowed to play Polly Perks.
2640: There is no skill I can get a bonus on by being naked.
2641: A character with no ranks in Perform cannot use this to weaponize music.
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When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2637: I cannot deliberately misspell things written in Explosive Runes just to get pedants to read them.
2638: Upon resurrection, my character doesn't get bonus experience if they died in an especially spectacular, hilarious, or stupid way.
2639: I may not play a character of the opposite sex if said character is a cross-dresser, and I'm definitely not allowed to play Polly Perks.
2640: There is no skill I can get a bonus on by being naked.
2641: A character with no ranks in Perform cannot use this to weaponize music.
*I cannot weaponize being Nude no matter how high, or heavens forbid, low, my Cha is.
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Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
