Silly Message Board GamesA forum for any kind of quote games, continuing story games, "What would you do if?" games, or whatever anyone comes up with. Old threads will now expire after one month.
2748: Having ranks in Profession (Lumberjack) does not give a bonus on Disguise checks to appear to be the opposite sex.
2749: Rainbow-coloured clothing does not protect from a fifth of all fire damage.
2750: I cannot use the entire dungeon as a weapon.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2751: Not allowed to demonstrate my character's current state of dress.
2752: Clothing is now mandatory for all party members
2753: If I am not fully clothed, I am no longer allowed at the table, no matter how it relates to roleplay.
2754: Vow of Nudity does not exist, so stop asking about it.
__________________
Stay tuned here for current updating status
I regret that I am actually busier during the summer than otherwise, plus the forums keep popping up error messages on me, so posting has been difficult for me. I'm trying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MesiDoomstalker
Thread won! I don't think I have the authority to do that but whatever
2755: In D20 Modern, I am not allowed to make a TWF-focused Gunslinger with the Quick Reload feat who dual-wields automatic pistols.
2755a: Especially if said character also has the stealth skills maxed out.
2755b: 8 "sneak attack" autofire attacks on the BBEG and his 3 most powerful followers, all boosted with the Bullseye ability, is not a satisfying way to end the campaign (for the other players ).
__________________
Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
2756: I cannot have a werewolf as my animal companion.
2756a: If I am a werewolf, I cannot be my own animal companion.
2757: Taunting giant spiders only works in The Hobbit. Having my character do it is a surefire way to get him/her killed.
2758: I may not do anything that could be connected to Pulp Fiction.
__________________
BRC gave me this commiepuppy. Thanks!
Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*
I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.
2756. Secretly altering the DM's notes while their not looking is right out.
2756a. Particularly if I can mimic their handwriting
2757. Keeping the DM's beverage of choice full so they have to take frequent bathroom brakes is right out.
2757a. Especially if its to add more opportunities for 2756 to happen.
2759: If it's too nasty for the BoVD to mention, we can't do it in a good campaign.
2759b: Yes, we know the BoVD wasn't very imaginative. That's not the point.
2760: There is no god of drool.
2760b: Or of small stinking things, or random blobs, or running around in circles like an idiot, or . . . anyway, it wouldn't be a very powerful god if there was one.
2761: I cannot play the Tarrasque.
2761b: Especially with templates added.
2762: I can't level up by killing lots and lots of flies.
__________________
Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
If you understood the above, click here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
2763: No matter how badly we're doing against a villain, killing weaker allies so as to level up mid-battle is not a valid strategy.
2764: Not all princesses have levels in rogue.
2765: I do not get bonus experience for keeping my sanity in the midst of a completely crazy party.
2766: I may not play a multiclass paladin/rogue with a lamp and a magic carpet just for the "Paladdin" pun.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2771: No using jargon from my profession for any names, spells, deities, or dialogue.
2772: I may not refer to the party's healer as "the walking bandaid."
__________________
BRC gave me this commiepuppy. Thanks!
Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*
I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.
2775: Our campaign is not set in New Crobuzon.
2776: Even if it was, I would not be allowed to play a Weaver.
__________________
Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
If you understood the above, click here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
2778: Regardless of how high my Initiative is, the BBEG always gets to attack first. (My first DM inisisted on this. )
2779: As a DM, I may not borrow monsters from Doctor Who.
2779a: As a player, I may not use a creature from Doctor Who as my animal companion. Especially not K9.
__________________
BRC gave me this commiepuppy. Thanks!
Timeless Error stole all the things that I could possibly be mistaken for. *happy dances*
I made my avatar. If you want to see other stuff I made, click here.
2778: Regardless of how high my Initiative is, the BBEG always gets to attack first. (My first DM inisisted on this. )
2779: As a DM, I may not borrow monsters from Doctor Who.
2779a: As a player, I may not use a creature from Doctor Who as my animal companion. Especially not K9.
2779b: I may not have favored enemy(Dalek)
2779c The Silence is not a possible BBEG
2779d: Neither is the Master.
2779da: I can't play the Master either
2780: I am not allowed to stat up the Vagina Dentata
2781: There is no such thing as a wifwolf, even if my werewolf is female. No one but me will understand the word
2782: Even if it is more accurate, I can't speak in nothing but Middle English during a play session
__________________
Cthulhu fhtagn R'lyeh!
If you understood the above, click here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
There were other programs that were deleted, but they either go quietly or spend the rest of their existence sitting around babbling about causality. Smith's different. He gets deleted and he's like "Hell no, I'm staying. And I'll steal your kernel privileges and spam copies of myself onto every last thing on the hard disk. How d'you like that?"
2783: I cannot protect myself from sonic damage by failing my Listen check.
2784: Killing my fellow PCs during the final battle because "it's more dramatic" is not approved of.
2785: Money splits can't always be perfect, and no shop accepts thirds of copper pieces.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2786; Half Blue Dragon, Half Green Dragon, Half White Dragon, Half Black Dragon, Half Red Dragon, Paragon, Insectile, Feral, Reanimated Fossil Baboon is NOT a proper Challenge for a 1st level party, despite what Libris Mortis may say
__________________
Thanks to Trazoi for the awesome avatar.
2791: Dread Pirates do not get bonuses on saves against poison.
2792: There is no such feat as Marital Weapon Proficiency.
2793: I may not use a bronze dragon to power my laptop.
@V: You forgot the numbers.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2775: Our campaign is not set in New Crobuzon.
2776: Even if it was, I would not be allowed to play a Weaver.
*May not create the possible sword.
*There are no Avanics, and I cannot cause the ritual to summon one.
* There is not enough L.A in the world to let me play a Grindlylow.
* Cacticae and Scabmettlers are right out.
Quote:
I can't level up by killing lots and lots of flies.
*Depends on the flies in question...
* Can’t send the same enemy with different templates to attack the P.Cs over and over again just to take the effort out of making stat-blocks.
*Cannot use an amulet of mighty fists to give my punches the vorpal enchantment.
*Even if I can to slashing damage with them!
* Cannot enchant a spiked glove with the throwing enchantment.
* Even if I do it still isn’t a ROKETTO PUNCH.
* Cannot enchant this glove with Ki-focus and seeking so I can delver a stunning fist from across the continent.
*Not matter my skill ranks, I cannot steal the eyes out of the watches’ heads without them knowing.
*Likewise with their hearts.
*Likewise with the barmaid’s virginity.
*if you steal a national landmark pre-epic, people WILL notice, thank you very much.
* Even if dragons do have a breath-weapon gland, making a called shot to it will not make them explode like a pinto.
2808: No matter what the rules and my skill check say, I cannot sell life insurance to the undead.
2809: I cannot outsource the party, even if they work for coppers on the gold piece.
2810: I may not convince the minions of a cult to attack their leader.
2810b: Even if they are worshiping a fire god and I project my voice though a fire orb that our wizard produced
2811: I do not get a bonus for talking to minions of a cult for being able to turn one before
2812: I am not to try and kill every mayor, governor, king, queen, important Quest-giving NPC that I see.
2812.2: Even if I can give a legit in character excuse as to why my character would want to destroy the hierarchy and take over himself...
2813: I'm not allowed to make my mutt characters anymore, though honestly I question the DM that allowed me a Drow/Dragon(all, I didn't feel like narrowing which breed)/Fire Elemental.
2813.2: I'm also not allowed to roll 3d20 and keep that number for said character, though again I question the DM on that one. o.O
__________________
Spoiler
Dr. Cox: Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in my crotch.'.
Part of II.I.
Legionary of Valor Inner Circle
OOC Mafioso
2814: 2d3 is not the same as 1d6.
2815: I may not stack Bags of Holding.
2816: Even if my weapon is a pickaxe, I'm not allowed to use the battlecry "Remember Tunnel 17!".
2817: Nymphs do not get massive bonuses to stealing.
__________________
When in doubt, use cute little dragons.
2818. I may not stack bags of holding in order to use the resulting planar rift as a means to remove the BBEG from the prime material of the campaign setting.
2819. If I am to do so, the campaign is not considered complete, and all quest rewards are with held untill the BBEG is in fact Dead.
RSS Feeds: 
Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
)
