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351: I am not allowed to question the DM.
352: If I DO question the DM, my character is struck down by a disease only known as "the angry lightning from the sky."
353: I'm not allowed to put things into low orbit by throwing them when playing a Wookiee in Star Wars campaigns.
354: In 3.5 I'm not allowed to survive any given adventure, and if I do its with negative hp and blatent DM fudging of the numbers to keep me alive...
Last edited by Wookieetank : 03-11-2010 at 05:43 PM.
355(a)- I am not allowed to make a perform(fiddle) check every time the group encounters a devil.
(b) Especially if I don't have any ranks in perform(fiddle).
356- The party will never encounter a were-rat barbarian in a prison.
357- Should the party, for some reason, encounter a were-rat barbarian in a prison my character is not allowed to comment innocently "So, despite all your rage you're still just a rat in a cage, eh?"
358- I am no longer allowed to listed to music immediately before, or during a session.
__________________ This is far more fun than it has any right to be. This is what I have in mind when building a character.
Last edited by Ishcumbeebeeda : 03-11-2010 at 06:07 PM.
Reason: Grammar nazi-ing myself
360: I am never again allowed to make a character that the DM has to keep separate from the rest of the party just so they will not feel useless. It does not matter that said character is an unoptimized tier 3 class. "It isn't my fault they only bother to crack open a book whenever they level up" is not a valid argument.
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Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
363) I am not allowed to play a Cleric who worships Kira.
364) I *can* play a Paladin who worships Kira, but I Fall the moment I do anything.
365) I can't choose Kira as my deity, full stop.
366) If my character is a red-haired man with goggles and a stripy shirt who smokes and plays lots of video games, he is shot by 50 crossbows with 50 bolts each the moment he enters a dungeon (read: I can't play as Matt).
367) I cannot use "Summon Monster" to summon a Persona or a Pokemon, no matter how much I want to use Jack Frost or Pichu in a battle.
368) My character cannot have Japanese as any of their languages.
369) My bard is not allowed to sing the theme tunes from anything, VOCALOID songs or stuff by Voltaire. Singing "When You're Evil" is an auto-smite from every god in the campaign setting.
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Avatar: Dallas-Dakota
VJ: Dr. Bath
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramsus
I have to say I wish to make love to your no saying the horrible pluralization of ninja rule.
I'm not a girl, and I'm not a boy. I'm an androgyne, so please don't call me "him" or "her" - call me "zi" instead if you can. If you've got a problem with this, then don't both flaming, I'll just ignore you.
Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level) Futhark rune by Icewalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonprime
Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.
375: I am not allowed to devour the essence of your immortal soul
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Thanks to Terry for my irate Nightmare Alchemist Avatar! And to Cealocanth for the impromtu Genderbent one! And to Terry again for my new-new avatar, a revamped Nightmare Alchemist! These people rock! And thanks to Maximum Zersk for my previous avatar, Jason, son of Hades!
376: No, my character most certainly CANNOT be from Papuwa Island. Next time I bring this up or RP my character as if he was I am getting my nose broken.
__________________
Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
377: Thou shalt not create a Dragonborn fanservice character.
378: Thou shalt not, by extension of rule 377: create a Kobold, Lizardfolk, or Dragon fanservice character.
377: Thou shalt not create a Dragonborn fanservice character.
378: Thou shalt not, by extension of rule 377: create a Kobold, Lizardfolk, or Dragon fanservice character.
379: I will not create a fanservice character of ANY race at all.
380: I will not use my fake dice during my campaigns, and if I am found doing so, my hands will be broken by sledgehammers.
381: I will not make any reference to Micheal Jackson's "Thriller" whenever we meet undead characters.
382: I shall not face off against an army of formians armed with a giant can of bug spray.
383: I am NEVER allowed to play any race with tentacles, especially if one of the enemies is a schoolgirl in a short skirt.
384: If my vision is always blocked, and enemies can't see my head, I have too many Ioun stones.
385: I am no longer alowed to Bluff the princess into thinking I'm her soon-to-be husband.
386: I am no longer allowed to be a vampire whose coffin is carryed by an ogre hireling, in a campaign where when vampires are killed, they rematerialize in their coffin instantly.
387: I am no longer allowed to Bluff the DM (DC 1000) into thinking I always crit.
__________________
Spoiler
Thanks to Terry for my irate Nightmare Alchemist Avatar! And to Cealocanth for the impromtu Genderbent one! And to Terry again for my new-new avatar, a revamped Nightmare Alchemist! These people rock! And thanks to Maximum Zersk for my previous avatar, Jason, son of Hades!
388: I am not The Wizard Who Did It.
389: I am not allowed to be a wizard at all.
390: Reason for #389: I cannot PAO a colony of ants into humans that will worship me as their god, thereby making me a diety.
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Avatar by me. My PM box is always open, for avatars, or just talking.
Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level) Futhark rune by Icewalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonprime
Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.
391: I may not play a kitten.
392: I may not play a doack. This should be obvious, seeing as "doack" is a random word that means absolutely nothing.
393: I may not play Jim Raynor.
394: I may not play a Zergling.
395: I may not play a multiclass wizard/sorcerer.
397) if i play a black character my entire action may not be "fcissle my nissle dog"
398) i can not play a wookie under any sircumstances
399) allah is no longer a deity choice
400) my charecters goal in life is no longer allowed to be to catch em' all
401) I am not allowed to start a Bar Fight in EVERY Tavern I enter, because I'm bored and they're all level 1 NPCs.
402) I am not allowed to argue with the GM, because he controls the threads of my character's life.
403) I am not allowed to raise my voice in dramatic situations, because if the tenants downstairs complain to the landlord we're all screwed!
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"Stop developing your characters, we have card games to play!"
I do my own Avatars. PM me a Request, or Adopt an Avatar. Expanding photobucket album Trophies:
404: I am not allowed to be an epic level magic user (who arm-wrestled Thor and won using magic and who now has the Hammer of Thor and the strength to use it) who killed a thief-god and took over the position as god of thieves and then proceeded to steal ALL magic, arcane or otherwise.
DONT JUDGE ME!
__________________
Spoiler
Thanks to Terry for my irate Nightmare Alchemist Avatar! And to Cealocanth for the impromtu Genderbent one! And to Terry again for my new-new avatar, a revamped Nightmare Alchemist! These people rock! And thanks to Maximum Zersk for my previous avatar, Jason, son of Hades!
Because utopia is a dream, humans are bastards and any attempt to really flesh out Neverland turns it into Battle Royal island, only with pirates, cannibal children, man-eating mermaids, sadistic Indians, nymphomaniac fairies and Godzilla with a ringing tummy.
411: No midgets/ halflings/ gnomes.
412: I am not allowed to play a constuct. Especially one with a Small size.
413: I can not use Wish to wish that I could cast Permanacy on any spell. (PERMANANT FLY! PERMANANT FIREBALL! PERMANANT HASTE!, etc.
__________________
Spoiler
Thanks to Terry for my irate Nightmare Alchemist Avatar! And to Cealocanth for the impromtu Genderbent one! And to Terry again for my new-new avatar, a revamped Nightmare Alchemist! These people rock! And thanks to Maximum Zersk for my previous avatar, Jason, son of Hades!
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Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
Futhark rune by Icewalker.
by Thecrimsonmage and 
By Shades of Gray 
by Akrim.elf
and current made by me.
