Silly Message Board GamesA forum for any kind of quote games, continuing story games, "What would you do if?" games, or whatever anyone comes up with. Old threads will now expire after one month.
414: I'm not allowed to hit the DC to break the rules.
415: I'm not allowed to play a cleric of the Banjhulu
416: I'm not allowed to play a cleric of Banjo, either
417. You cannot start a communist revolution against the king and nobility
418. You cannot introduce capitalism into a medieval land, just so you may start a communist revolution later
419. You cannot try to start a Protestant reformation
420: I cannot start a pipeweed bodega, and no, it's not exactly what it sounds like it should be.
421: Chaotic Evil is a privilege and it can be revoked.
422: I cannot polymorph into the ebola virus.
423: If my milkshake brought Nyarlathotep to the yard, something very wrong has occurred.
424: I am not allowed to compile a Top Ten List of ways to mispronounce Utgaard-Loki while dealing with Frost Giants, even if his name does sound suspiciously like Ulki-Louie to me.
425: I am not allowed to engineer campaign situations so that I can show off a new pun I just thought of. It doesn't matter how clever it is to observe that if we all rolled Natural 1s on our Fear save for a really big avalanche, and our hair turned white from fear and shock, it would be a case of Rocks Fall Everybody Dyes.
426: If my DM's house rules say I don't get a Paladin mount, I don't get a Paladin mount. It doesn't matter how many random creatures I try to saddle and ride.
427: I am not allowed to put any more ranks into the following skills:
Perform (An impression of what the DM would sound like if he was gay and /or East Indian)
Knowledge (of the DM's momma)
Craft (Macaroni and glue picture of the DM doing unmentionable things with a horse)
428: If a ritual requires either someone LG to conduct it, *or* the blood of said LG person, I will absolutely not start chasing the Paladin around the dungeon armed with a butcher's knife and a flask.
429: ^I will not double-post
430: I am not allowed to have my monk named "Captain Falcon" yell "FALCON PUNCH!"
431: My character may not be an awakened animal, no matter how cool an awakened T-Rex is and how sneaky an awakened squirrel would be.
432: I may no longer create my own class using words the DM doesn't understand and that he's too vain to ask what are, thus resulting in every weapon I use vorpal starting at level one.
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Thanks to Terry for my irate Nightmare Alchemist Avatar!
429:431: My character may not be an awakened animal, no matter how cool an awakened T-Rex is and how sneaky an awakened squirrel would be.
432: My character *certainly* may not be a hypothetical offspring of those two animals.
433: My ventriloquist's dummy does not get to roll his own Initiative.
434: "Wrybread Bucks" are not legal tender.
435: I am only allowed to quote Monty Python if it was something either really obvious, a really obscure Python quote, or a very creative application of said Python quote. Randomly shrieking "SPAM!" and then singing the lumberjack song accomplishes nothing.
436: I will not use the Fly spell to defeat overwhelmingly powerful foes/entire armies by myself by just slowly picking at their HP from out of reach.
437: I will not "break the DM" and make him call off the session early so he can try to salvage the encounter. This is IN NO WAY related to the above. OK, maybe it is....
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Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
441) even my bard is not allowed to make friendship speeches
442) my race cannot be quarter elf
443) my comlyness cannot be so high the BBEG falls in love with me
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one, twenty one guns
Last edited by moomoomooy : 05-02-2010 at 06:02 PM.
444. The XP penalty will be applied both to the person who makes the grievous OOC quote in game and the person whose character was set up for the sole purpose of delivering the play on words.
445. Ok, if the setup character was oblivious to the incoming pun damage, it's only half XP penalty, but you still need to pay.
446. You are not Walder Frey, Lord of the Crossing, and thus are incapable of "fielding an army out of your breeches". Your character is female, for gods' sake--
447. --Elven. Whatever.
441) even my bard is not allowed to make friendship speeches
442) my race cannot be quarter elf
443) my comlyness cannot be so high the BBEG falls in love with me
448: I am no longer allowed to make speeches, period.
449: Self-imposed rule - I will no longer play characters with high charisma, and if I do I will specify CLEARLY that the score is from force of personality alone, and the character actually looks like ass. (Having a high charisma/comeliness/seduction score and routinely abusing it can have some.... unintended consequences when someone/something much more powerful "takes a liking" to you)
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Been there, fought that, died horribly.
Something fun and flavorful to get your DM throwing books at you: Katana Chucker
Torick: Arcane Trickster extraordinai -- er, I mean, unarmed, magically incapable innocent bystander extraordinaire! ...Damsel in distress, really. Obviously completely uninvolved with whatever hilarious disasters may or may not have occurred recently.
453) Having crashed my vehicle, I am not allowed to hijack the nearest moving vehicle on a motorway by flying up, landing on it, and tearing the roof off.
454) When asked to provide a distraction, I will think twice before crashing my van into a church when we're not meant to be drawing attention to the supernatural.
455) No longer allowed access to plastic explosive and a forming machine.
456) Not allowed to lay any wreaths for worthy adversaries especially plastic ones.
457) Plastic daffodils are not a welcome gift in any household.
458) Cannot have Tupperware salesman listed as profession on any ID that acts as a boarder pass.
459) I do not uncannily share the same surname of a famous hardhat supplier.
460) My nick name is not 'Ray Ban'.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly
I am now going to begin blaming everything that goes wrong on Charity. Just for gits and shiggles. And not even just things on the forums. Summer! Charity!
463) any character who spends more points on gear than on abbillity scores is vetoed
464) not allowed to start with a gauss canon, even if the rules allow it
465) you are not playing ezio auditore da firenze. nor are you Brian.
466) you're wife is definite nor Brian as well
467) THERE IS NO RULE 6!
468. I cannot be a half-fey half-ogre half-minotaur half-elf.
469. I cannot play a really fat sorcerer who Dimension Doors above the enem and falls on them.
470. No lumberjacks. Don't ask.
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Avatar by me. My PM box is always open, for avatars, or just talking.
Neutral Good Elf Druid/Cleric (1st/1st Level) Futhark rune by Icewalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonprime
Wouldn't a bulb only be sharp if someone broke it? Oh...wait...that's actually very fitting for this situation. Well played Ranger Mattos. Your metaphor-crafting is masterful indeed.
471. I will not instigate a war with the elves, however much my character may think that they're behind a cult that is plotting the end of the world.
472. I am not allowed to punch ghosts to death, even if I have an extrodinary willpower score.
473. I am not allowed to use Piercers whenever I'm DMing and the party goes into a cave.
477. I'm not allowed to rip off the limbs of our prisoners to get them to talk.
478. I'm not allowed to let the mage get mauled by a bear.
479. I'm not allowed to turn random civilians into monstrous humanoids as soon as they are alone.
480. I'm not allowed to start brawls by shooting the barbarian from outside the tavern.
481. I'm not allowed to sabotage the mage's lycanthropy cure so he is stuck with an unfavorable character.
Hoc Dictum Videtur Esse Melius In Latine.
This Motto Sounds Better In Latin.
Cadimus Concordia.
United We Fall.
Nolite Hamena Machinae Timere, Nam Iusta Erunt.
Do Not Fear The Reign Of Machines, For They Shall Be Just.
Shapeshifter2 Awards
487 I am not allowed to play a stupid character, and then solve all the puzzles by being dumb enough not to think about things.
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once, we accepted that everything was the way it was, and that was enough for us. now, we question our own existance. clearly, we are approaching a problem. what if, in our quest to determine whether we are real, we find that we are not?
Avatar courtesy of Rae Artemi (thank You)
Last edited by ZaradAnNasr : 07-13-2010 at 12:59 AM.
488) I am not allowed to be a "spy-crab" whenever we're in a James Bond-themed D20 adventure.
489) I am not allowed to be a "spy-crab" in any setting whatsoever.
490) From now on, whenever some thing is banned for me in one campaign, I will assume that it is banned in another campaign, no matter the setting.
494. I cannot my Ardent slip under the enemy, even if he is psychic.
495. I can't let people believe that as innuendo.
496. Torchwood is not an applicable party name.
497. If I use Teleport, the improvised focus will not be a blue police box.
498. When a rat appears, don't give it a disease.
499. Protoss are not acceptable forms of psionic creature.
500. I won't quote that only 1,500 more things are required to suggest not to do in a Roleplaying Game.
501. Neither will I call 1,499.
502. If I have to call a Zerg creature, they won't speak Deep Speech.
503. Repeating crossbows with magazines will not inpsire a person to think of a gunpowdered weapon they call a rifle.
504. When I'm on a boat, be sure to get an Ioun Stone, and a Handy Haversack.
505. Perks are not the new Feats.
506. I won't call whenever I reach a water source after days I was adventuring that I fill my waterskin. They already know that.
507. Gummy Bears are not available in Field Rations.
508. I can't cast Fireball whenever I need to make a fire.
509. Element bending will never be part of the scenario.
510. If I have to make a call to Hammerfast, it will be with a Sending ritual.
511. I will not watch the ways to die in a Roleplaying game by MagicNet.
512. Paladins shouldn't get picked by anyone playing a revenant.
513. All races of non-humanoids were created equal. Except for tiered monsters, they were never equal.
514. I won't make up my own Paragon Class.
515. When I make a Warhammer refereance, it will not be in the middle of battle.
516. I will never mix up editions with each other. Except Advanced Dungeons & Dragons with 4th Edition.
517. As long as there is a campaign running, you will never spot a Wizard Tower near a river.
518. Only one of each class/race stereotype is to be made per day, if necessary.
519. Plastic is not the solution to leather.
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Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
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Futhark rune by Icewalker.
by Thecrimsonmage and 
By Shades of Gray 
by Akrim.elf
and current made by me.
