Silly Message Board GamesA forum for any kind of quote games, continuing story games, "What would you do if?" games, or whatever anyone comes up with. Old threads will now expire after one month.
712. Orks get bigger when they fight. Orcs do not.
713. My monk does not hit himself in the forehead with his book.
714. My necromancer's motto is not: People die when they are killed!
715: I am not allowed to include a self destruct in my armor set to go off if I die or if the armor is removed powerful enough to TPK and then threaten other party members with it for command.
716: I am not allowed to create anime style mechas using animate object and a few dozen other custom magic items.
I got ninja'd!
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The rules of the game are only what the current participants agree they should be, remember this. The rulebook for whatever you play are only suggestions.
Last edited by WeLoveFireballs : 12-08-2010 at 06:09 PM.
717: I am not allowed to claim to be a sexy shoeless god of war
718: I am not allowed to ride like the wind on my marvelous wiener dog
719: I am not allowed to paint 20 on all sides of my dice
720: I am not allowed to create a rip in the space time continuum
721: I am not allowed to use the "Summon Chuck Norris" spell
722: I am not allowed to use my fellow adventurers as meat shields
723: I am not allowed to eat the minstrels (or bards for that matter) no matter how much rejoicing that would cause
724: I am not allowed to trick my friends into wearing a bag of devouring as a sock
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Love shows itself more in adversity than in prosperity; as light does, which shines most where the place is darkest. ~Leonardo Da Vinci Active Characters:
725. I am not allowed to say "You know what would be better game than this? Rifts."
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'Yeah, well, I didn't sign up for world domination,' said Medium Dave. 'That sort of thing gets you into trouble.' --Terry Pratchett
726: a) I'm not allowed to win arguments outside the game by raging.
b) I'm not allowed to rage outside the game.
c) Even though it's in the game my Wizard cannot "rage," even if I'm not trying to get the mechanical benefits.
727: Similarly my Barbarian is not allowed to win a fight by suggesting that we all sit down and discuss our differences over tea.
728: I'm only allowed to be a smartass in game if it's because of in game reasons; situations like the above are considered metagaming and metagaming will not be tolerated.
729: a) I am not allowed to use Int as a dump stat while playing a Savant (dragon compendium) just so I can call myself an "Idiot Savant."
b) When playing a Cleric I am not allowed to chalk friendly fire up to a "Clerical error."
c) My Monk is not allowed to have a flaw called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
d) The proper term for a female Sorcerer is Sorceress, not Sorcer-her.
e) I'm no longer allowed to make any puns except by accident.
f) I'm no longer allowed to make any puns; not even by accident.
g) I'm no longer allowed to say the word "punishment." No, not even in character.
__________________ This is far more fun than it has any right to be. This is what I have in mind when building a character.
730) I am not allowed to make Cthulu the first boss. Ever.
731) I cannot make a homebrew monster that would make H.P. Lovecraft proud.
732) No matter how cleverly I use it, I cannot use a cantrip to kill an enemy.
733) Even if there are some parrallels between the two settings, I may never, EVER, have any creature in my campaign be similar or based off of a mamono from the Monster Girl Encyclopedia.
734) My character may never quote a line from Mortal Kombat. Even if it is appropriate.
735) It is cruel to have the players kill children, despite their alignment. It is forbidden to make all of the PC's enemies children.
736) I cannot ever have the characters "accidentally" end up in the Tomb of Horrors.
737) If the campaign includes having the PC's have sanity meters, I will inform them about it before their characters go insane.
737b) I must now tell them about their sanity meters before we start the game.
738) Having the actual players lose sanity means I'm doing something wrong.
739) Under no circmstances, even if it is justifiable or even possible; I will never have a vampire in my campaign "sparkle".
740) I am never allowed to take up the spell Evard's Black Tentacles.
741) I am never allowed to take up any polymorph, alter self, or similar spell.
742) I am never allowed to take up a arcane class.
743) I am never allowed to take up a class that isn't martial.
744) I should only use resource books that are legal in the game we are playing.
745) If I and my team mates are fighting a horned enemy, I will be beaten to death if I ever utter the phrase, "Aim for the horn!" or anything similar.
746) I cannot make any changes to my character sheet without the DM's supervision.
747) I cannot do anything that Red Mage would do or has done.
748) Removing my clothes doesn't make any difference on a stealth check. Removing parts of my body doesn't either.
749) A butter knife is not a dagger.
750) Any homebrewed creature that has a diet consisting of any bodily fluid from humanoids and it isn't blood, is vetoed.
751) Killing a friendly character or a PC just so I can use his/her weapon or armor get's me kicked from the game.
752) I cannot choose Haruhi as my character's deity.
753) No matter how majestic it is, I can never include the Space Duck into a campaign.
754) Neither a gnome nor a halfling will ever make a successful intimidate check on a dragon.
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Cruddy MS Paint avatar made by myself
Last edited by lordyoshi01 : 12-10-2010 at 12:45 AM.
755: Under no circumstances can I con my way to becoming the Kobold leader and overrunning the world with millions of hoards of the scaly freaks,ever again.
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Awesome Rob Roy Avatar by Pink Haired August!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flabort
Alright. I have officially found a reason to run around, screaming "The end is near here!", with only a loincloth and a crudely painted sign as my possessions.
Mind=asplode from the awesome of that image.
757) It isn't ok to look at any notes the DM made about the campaign we're playing. Especially if it includes parts we haven't gotten to yet.
578) My warforged isn't a transformer.
579) I can't kill a fire elemental by just throwing water at it.
580) I have to pay the group a tenth of my gp every time I make a pun.
581) I cannot make a monk named Chuck Norris and expect him to have his stats be at infinity.
581b) I cannot name any character after any famous person.
582) Making the threat, "I will knock you all down!" is only going to work if there is something nasty that I can knock someone down into nearby.
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Cruddy MS Paint avatar made by myself
Last edited by lordyoshi01 : 12-11-2010 at 08:18 AM.
758: If I play as a wizard, I am not allowed to have any of the following as my animal companion: bear, kitten, puppy, adult cat, adult dog, rabbit, any form of marsupial, any kind of bird, goat.
759: I may not go cow-tipping.
760: As an extention of the above, every chicken in the campaign setting is a Cucoo [sp].
761: "Time Lord" is not a playable race.
762: My backstory cannot involve any of the following: the Doctor, a taco, Arceus, people made of shadow, chipmunks, Mr. Scruffy, tinsel, or a very unhappy Christmas.
763: Rabbids do not exist in the campaign setting; therefore, I may not have one as an animal companion, familiar, pet, or P.C..
763b: even if I sneak this past the DM, Rabbid paladins do not and cannot exist.
764: I'm not allowed to have a Bag of Holding. To be fair, this one only turned up after they found out that I was keeping kobolds in it to use as ammo.
765: If I am finding it difficult to carry around both a Bag of Holding and a Portable Hole, I may not throw one into the other. (I may have filled them up with kobolds...)
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Spoiler
Avatar: Dallas-Dakota
VJ: Dr. Bath
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramsus
I have to say I wish to make love to your no saying the horrible pluralization of ninja rule.
I'm not a girl, and I'm not a boy. I'm an androgyne, so please don't call me "him" or "her" - call me "zi" instead if you can. If you've got a problem with this, then don't both flaming, I'll just ignore you.
766. I am not allow to put "Totally Awesome" In my list of descriptions.
767. I am not allowed to kill the torches on the wall for XP.
768. I am not allowed to eat the inkeeper.
769. I am not allowed to use my Robot of Mutilation.
770. I am not allowed to ask an elf if he works with Peter Pan.
771 I am not allowed to ask an elf if he knows Frodo.
772. I am not allowed to ask an elf if his best friend has pixy dust.
773 I am not allowed to slap an elf.
774.I an not allowed to throw my partner into a vat of toxic waste to see how he mutates.
775. I am not allowed to torch the city because there was only 1 piece of candy in the inkeeper's tip jar.
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Shadowy avatar done by Cealocanth, it is greatly appreciated.
776 I'm not allowed to use the party halfling rogue as ammunition. 777 I'm not allowed to make my cleric worship O-Chul. 778 I'm not allowed to create a character who only speaks Elder Evil. 779 I'm not allowed to play a pyrokineticist. EVER AGAIN. 780I'm not allowed to play a pyrokineticist.Must. Stress. This. Point.
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That whale is going to die, and it's Fullbladder's fault.
781: I am not allowed to create magic potions that mimic the effects of real world drugs and sell them for a profit
782: I am not allowed to play a Stone Giant fighter without telling my DM how race levels work.
783: Aristocrat is an invalid choice of class in a dungeon crawl!
784: Plane shifting with no intent of ever returning to the material plane is not a valid way of dealing with a local tyrant.
788: If m vampire ever sparkles, it is automatically destroyed. It may never be brought back into existence, ever.
__________________
Awesome Rob Roy Avatar by Pink Haired August!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flabort
Alright. I have officially found a reason to run around, screaming "The end is near here!", with only a loincloth and a crudely painted sign as my possessions.
Mind=asplode from the awesome of that image.
789: I'm not allowed to play a character who wears all green, tights, carries a bow, and robs from the rich.
790: Same as above but from the poor.
791: I'm not allowed to speak in any accent anymore whenever I pc speak. Two things happen, the game never gets anywhere because they are laughing so hard or B: Small followed promptly by large heavy things are thown at me by the DM.
792: I'm not allowed to play drunk and have my pc be smashed for the entirety of the game to feel my pain.
__________________ Undead rockstars mean eternal afterparties. ^vv^
"Denn die Todten reiten Schnell. (For the dead travel fast)"
— Bram Stoker (Dracula)
793: as an enchanter or high Charisma character, I am not allowed to wager with my teammates (them doing so Willfully or otherwise) about if I could talk our 3 wisdom/3 intelligence leader into eating his own shoes.
794: as any spell caster, I may not eliminate my party and replace them with any of the following: clay golems,Iron Golems, any construct, any undead, the following animal companions:Tigers,wolves,kittens,newborn kittens, basilisk, any Giant+ creature, or Zombies/skeletons, for the purpose of making them dance to a famous musical reference that it's source will not even exist for another 600+ years.
795: gloves that qualify for the use of "Bigby's _____ hand/fist" spells is not an improvised weapon, and will not deal damage.
795a:Ever.
795b: if it is hilarious.
795c:Circumstance bonus from an argument between gentlemen still is no exception.
796: a warforged Playable character may NOT skin a human, wear it as a costume, and refer to himself as "Inspector Gadget."
796a: Same goes for the name "Doohickey P.I." or anything similar.
__________________ Thanks to Ceika, Vamber lives to play with fire in this cheerful avatar!
You can call me by my username, or Zahn, or PZ, I would appreciate you not deviating from the given.
Games currently playing:
805a: This does not apply when the DM is running a game set in the ruins of Boatmurdered
806: I can not treat the party as a team of troubleshooters.
807: I cannot apply a ZAP mentality to Straight or Classic Paranioa. Doing so is treason against our "Friend, the Friendly Computer, who would never hurt us."
__________________
Awesome Rob Roy Avatar by Pink Haired August!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flabort
Alright. I have officially found a reason to run around, screaming "The end is near here!", with only a loincloth and a crudely painted sign as my possessions.
Mind=asplode from the awesome of that image.
808: I may not use the Craft wondrous Items feat to make a magic Jukebox.
808a: The penalty for breaking this rule is increased five-fold if the primary purpose of the device making such a device is making a zombie+skeleton+protagonist+antagonist+ some random NPC musical sing'n dance number.
809: I may not give directions/orders/instructions/tips/commands about making a magic Jukebox to anyone.
(Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Otto's Irresistible Dance, Perfrom(any instrument or singing) 15 Ranks. Control Undead.)
810:Sentient Magic items are no longer playable races.
811: The DM doesn't care how low my strength modifier is, so I may not use a 32gb flash Drive as a spellbook.
812: during an important storyline battle, I may not hide behind nearby bushes and say "you guys handle this, I'm just gonna sit this one out."
813: I have been recently informed by my DM that I am now banned forever from using the "Light" spell. (don't ask me why)
__________________ Thanks to Ceika, Vamber lives to play with fire in this cheerful avatar!
You can call me by my username, or Zahn, or PZ, I would appreciate you not deviating from the given.
Games currently playing:
814. I may never combine the words 'commoner' and 'railgun' in one sentence. D'oh!
815. If an NPC has a name, I must always let him/her finish her monologue.
816. No matter race or class, my characters can never have a mouthpick greatclub.
817. Rule 1: The DM is always right.
Rule 2: when the DM is wrong, immediately consult Rule 1.
818. Garden Gnome is not a Gnome subrace.
__________________ "Who cares about me? Not me! *whack* *whack*"
- Vyvyan
818a: Unless they're the evil Garden Gnomes from Quintessential Gnome.
819: There is no conspiracy amongst gnomes to control the world from behind the scenes.
820: Gnomes don't have a racial ability that gives them mind control.
__________________
Awesome Rob Roy Avatar by Pink Haired August!
Quote:
Originally Posted by flabort
Alright. I have officially found a reason to run around, screaming "The end is near here!", with only a loincloth and a crudely painted sign as my possessions.
Mind=asplode from the awesome of that image.
821: I am not allowed to have my wizard yell "Curse you, Runcible Spoon!!!" whenever a spell backfires.
822: I am not alllowed have a sword longer than I am if I play a melee class character. Accidental NPC woundings, going through doorways, and tripping over the tip attest to that.
__________________ Undead rockstars mean eternal afterparties. ^vv^
"Denn die Todten reiten Schnell. (For the dead travel fast)"
— Bram Stoker (Dracula)
824: casting faery fire on every vampire i meet will result in death by vampire.
824: i shall not fill a spell book with explosive runes and use it in trade with an elder dragon.
825: kender are no longer allowed in the campaign. (generally goes withot saying)
826: regardless of the rules i may never put an infinite amount of anything in a container.
827: regardless of having a rules legitimate way of doing so i may never play an "awakened ham sandwich"
828: i am no longer allowed to fill magical bags/boxes/holes/bottles/etc. with sand or gravel.
829: i shall never again play or utter the word "bardbarian"
839: if i play a dashing swordsman he must be mute to save the other players from my pun'ch lines.
840a: my sneaky characters are no longer allowed to operate solo
840b: or get creative
840c: or make the plan
841a: creating new ecosystems using well rigged bags of holding censers of endless air and bottles of endless water is considered in bad taste.
especially if the goal is to speed time until something in there gains sentience and decides you are it's god.
841b: starting any church that worships you is right out.
842: convincing another party member to sacrifice themselves for "the cause" is only acceptable if there is a cause.
843: even if the barbarian grabbed nearly 250 pounds of extra gear succeeded the ridiculous jump check and critted on the attack the BBeG shall never again be slain by a half orc orbital strike. *
844: i may not cast percussion, dancing lights, ghost sound and fog to make the tavern into a rave.
WoD st:
845: "And then you wake up" is not an acceptable end to a story arc.
846: i will not engineer encounters simply to f over my players for thinking like the mages they're playing.
847a: Merlin is not a surviving NPC in modern Chicago... probably
847b: nor is queen mab
847c: nor is Rasputin
848: historical powerhouse figures are no longer allowed in my campaigns.
LARP
849: I am no longer allowed the trap skillset.
850: nor am i allowed to make the plan of attack for the npc bandits. this will almost always result in the party losing large amounts of money or a tpk.
other:
851: Cthulutech (call of cthulu mixed with robotech) is not a legitimate homebrew
*party charged up to the edge of the cliff where they had "cornered" the BBEG only to see him at the bottom of the 600 foot cliff riding away while waving. at the taunt the barbarian rages grabs everyones packs to speed him in his "pursuit" (we had dropped them in preperation for battle) at which point he swan dives from the cliff with his great-ax. he lands on top of the BBEG ax first. BBEG dies, barbarian dies, all our gear is FUBAR campaign ends 5 levels early.
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Re: 2000 things I'm not allowed to do in an RPG
