Batman vs. His parents

Alchemistmerlin · 06-23-2006, 02:08 AM

I guess he needed more prep-time ;D

Saithis Bladewing · 06-23-2006, 02:33 AM

;D

Priceless! ;D

Bookman · 06-23-2006, 02:35 AM

haha when I intially clicked on this I was gonna say "He couldn't win because if he could battle his parents they would have never died and Batman would have never happened" But that was........interesting

Jack Mann · 06-23-2006, 02:49 AM

Superman has about five seconds before Batman snaps out of it and delivers a kryptonite enema.

Alchemistmerlin · 06-23-2006, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JackMann

Superman has about five seconds before Batman snaps out of it and delivers a kryptonite enema.

You mean with his kryptonite ring?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeah.

Bat-Tsh

Holy_Knight · 06-23-2006, 03:02 AM

While those cartoons are funny (and props for the Zorro reference), that's not really Superman. Maybe if instead of Superman it was "totally evil ******* Superman vs. Batman"... ;)

Alchemistmerlin · 06-23-2006, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holy_Knight

While those cartoons are funny (and props for the Zorro reference), that's not really Superman. Maybe if instead of Superman it was "totally evil ******* Superman vs. Batman"... ;)

Please see second part of second posted comic. ;D

Also: PUPPETS!

Banjo be praised ;D

Holy_Knight · 06-23-2006, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alchemistmerlin

Please see second part of second posted comic. ;D

No.

Haggis_McCrablice · 06-23-2006, 04:12 AM

See the B:TAS episodes "Nothing to Fear" and "Perchance to Dream". Bruce's greatest fear is letting his parents down, and in a Scarecrow gas-induced nightmare sequence he sees Thomas and Martha's angry ghosts berating him. When Hatter shows him his ideal life, with his parents living, he also notes that he's become somewhat of a milquetoast living under Thomas' thumb.

Incidentally, in the series Scarecrow was terrified of bats. But in the comic his greatest fear was birds. Quite ironic....

Jack Mann · 06-23-2006, 05:40 AM

The problem is, Alchy, that Superman's a wuss. He's also not very bright compared to Batman. He wouldn't toss him into the sun because of the first reason, and he wouldn't be able to because of the second reason. Sorry.

Saithis Bladewing · 06-23-2006, 05:41 AM

While Superman WOULDN'T do it, he's certainly capable of doing it. The point being made is that brains only goes so far when it comes to defeating brawn. You still need both or you'll never stand a chance against anyone.

Jack Mann · 06-23-2006, 06:04 AM

True. That's where a good supply of synthetic kryptonite comes in.

Alchemistmerlin · 06-23-2006, 10:28 AM

Ok, so he wouldn't kill Mary Sue, perhaps you're right. But, he HAS given people eye-beam lobotomies before, so it is quite possible he'd do it again. Example.

Steward · 06-23-2006, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JackMann

The problem is, Alchy, that Superman's a wuss. He's also not very bright compared to Batman. He wouldn't toss him into the sun because of the first reason, and he wouldn't be able to because of the second reason. Sorry.

What about Lord Superman from that episode of JL with the Justice Lords? He is very, very mean.

malagigi · 06-23-2006, 01:44 PM

five seconds to the superdickery link...

Ing · 06-23-2006, 02:46 PM

4
3
2
1

www.superdickery.com

Caillach · 08-02-2006, 01:43 AM

Yuck. These things are sick. :P

warmachine · 08-02-2006, 10:09 AM

The super lobotomy wouldn't stop Superman's human identity being exposed. If it is Batman preventing the release by periodicall stopping it, in dead man switch fashion, he is no longer in a position to do this. The secret would still be released. If someone else checking for Batman's death in the newspapers, they'd eventually notice the absense of stories, make inquiries then assume he's dead anyway. Even if such a person discovers Batman is lobotomised, he'd trigger the release anyway to retaliate.

"But the text says in the event of his death" you say. This isn't AD&D. There is no magic that checks against a specific meaning. Even if there was, Batman uses mundane, high tech, not magic. The mundane is driven by local causation and mechanism, not high level, god-like knowledge.

Compromised identities are still better than a lobotomy, so Superman would still win, but it's a poor victory.

Alchemistmerlin · 08-03-2006, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warmachine

The super lobotomy wouldn't stop Superman's human identity being exposed. If it is Batman preventing the release by periodicall stopping it, in dead man switch fashion, he is no longer in a position to do this. The secret would still be released. If someone else checking for Batman's death in the newspapers, they'd eventually notice the absense of stories, make inquiries then assume he's dead anyway. Even if such a person discovers Batman is lobotomised, he'd trigger the release anyway to retaliate.

"But the text says in the event of his death" you say. This isn't AD&D. There is no magic that checks against a specific meaning. Even if there was, Batman uses mundane, high tech, not magic. The mundane is driven by local causation and mechanism, not high level, god-like knowledge.

Compromised identities are still better than a lobotomy, so Superman would still win, but it's a poor victory.

"Hi,
You may not remember me, but I'm your sense of humor. I'm the little being that's there to tell you when something isn't meant to be taken seriously. Somewhere along the way, you abandoned me in a truck stop. I really didn't appreciate that, but I'm back now, and would really love to be your companion again. I understand if you don't want me back, I'm sure you're getting along just fine being a boring person who over analyzes life.

Also, the sun says Hi, he thinks you should go outside more often.

Sincerely,
Your Sense of Humor.

P.S. Please get back to me soon"

::)

Also: There's no magic in the DC universe? Wow, and I thought huge portions of the very plausability of their world hinged on it.

You're one of those people who REALLY shouldn't be reading comic books, for the sake of your own sanity and the sanity of others.