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So a long time ago, I translated the story of Demeter and Persephone into lolcat. It still amuses me, so I've decided to do more, and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
So one dai Hades goes to see Zeus and sez "Ohai. I can has ur daughter Persephone to marry?"
And Zeus sez "No wai! If I sez yes, Demeter wud totally pwn me!" Demeter wuz one of Zeus's babymamas. He had lots of them cuz he wuz totally a playa.
And Hades sez "If u sez no, I pwn you."
So Zeus is all then sez "Um, okay, but dun tell anywun I sed that. So no big wedding. U haz to elope."
So Persephone wuz hangin out wit her friends at teh mall when Hades shows up.
"How YOU doing?" Hades says.
"Lolwut? GTFO newb!" Persephone says.
"Hay babee, I'm totally a god and all."
"O rly?"
"Ya rly."
"No wai!"
"Let me show you mah place."
"Okay. Hay nymphs, tell mah mom I'll brb."
And Persephone went off to the Underworld with Hades.
So when Persephone's curfew was passed and she wuz still gone, Mamma Demeter wuz all sadface. So she called in sick to werk. It turned out no one knew how to do her job, which wuz changing of seasons. So everybody on erf start to get hongry.
So they start crying to Zeus saying "We can haz noms? Kthxbai." And after a wile, he got tired of der whining. So he email his friend Hermes and say 'Hay, go down to underworld and get mah daughter."
Hermes emailed back "Lolwut? Do it yourself!"
And Zeus sez "I can't. Social Services took away mah parental rights after I got caught secksing in a swan costume." v.v
Hermes wuz all, "No wai! A swan! That's sick, man." But he didn't want all hoomans to die of being hongry, so he went to get her.
So Hermes goes to hell and sez "Ohai, Persephone. Tiem to go home nao."
But she was all "Nuh-uh. Imma stay here. Hades loves me!"
"Course I do, babe." Hades sez. "Hey, get me a beer before you go."
"Get your own damn beer!" she sez. And they got in a fight. And she wuz so mad that she left with Hermes and went back to her mama's house.
So spring comes back to Erf and crops grow and everywun iz happy again. Yays!
Teh End
Well, noes, not rly.
At furst, Demeter wuz so happy to have her littel girl back dat she spoil her rottenz with nice things and not disagree wif anything she want. But she still teh mama, and so after a while, she start telling Persephone to clean her room and not to stay out too late and quit playing that damn music so loud. Persephone wuz all 'DO NOT WANT!' And Demeter wuz all 'As long as you live under MAH ROOF you obey MAH RULES!'
So Persephone sez "I not have to live with you. I haz a husband, you know!"
So she went back to Hades.
An so Erf get all dark and cold again, until she fight with him and move back in with mama. And so on and so forf.
An later she meets Odysseus and haz affair wit Adonis an other stuffs. But all dat anuder story.
I'm gone for a couple of years!
I'm off doing service in developing countries in South America
(Very little chance of internet access) - I'll try to come back afterwards
I thought it was entertaining. I tend to do this internally during Classical Studies.
And for some reason, making this comment led me to realise Aeneas hanging out with Dido for a year and then getting a kick up the rear from Mercury is a parallel to the start of the Odyssey!
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Yes. That is true, there is a reason we have standards. I have standards, which include not going to a thread that says, in the title, that it contains lolspeak, and getting offended when it does contain lolspeak. That doesn't measure up to my standards of politeness.
In other news: English is a bastard language anyway. It was only invented four hundred years ago has been being butchered ever since.
@happyturtle: I can haz lolkitteh Anti-Gone-E? kthanxbai.
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Last edited by Roland St. Jude : 07-05-2010 at 10:36 AM.
What amuses me about this is, even though you edited it to fix spelling, there's still a spelling error.
Anarchy, not anararchy!
No, definately anarachy. You know, when society breaks down to the point where the most common currency is sacs of live spider eggs?
I have seen the future, my son, and I shall be making sure I stay fairly wealthy, and stay in the wealthier regions, where we'll only use ears of corn for money.
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Famous stories, translated to lolcat
then sez "Um, okay, but dun tell anywun I sed that. So no big wedding. U haz to elope."
But he didn't want all hoomans to die of being hongry, so he went to get her.
Interested in Nexus FFRP? Read 
Re: Famous stories, translated to lolcat
