Greetings and Salutations and welcome to Let's Play Final Fantasy One. Now I know you're wondering how a LP of this game can possible be interesting? Well let's look at the characters to find out.
Characters
Spoiler
Spoony the Red A Red Mage of no small talent(not that he can figure out why), Spoony was transported here along with the majority of the rest of his party on the way home from Molossia. Snarky and cynical, he is the leader only due to his experience in RPGs.
Linkara the White The Reluctant White Mage, Linkara despises his abilities because he cannot figure out why he has them. Chivalrous and Optimistic, he is Spoony's best friend and tactical officer.
Ask That Guy Lacking in a title because his magic is inherent, ATG is a despicable, loathsome creature only on the party because he may be the only one who can get them out...that and it would be far eviler than any of the party have the stomach for to let him free among the populace.
???? An unknown quantity, ???? has no memory of who he is, nor why he is such a talented thief and assassin. He aids the party both to regain his memory and because part of him tells him that he should. Let the guessing of his identity begin.
So without further ado, let the game begin...in my next post.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
Sorry about the (potential) double post, but I didn't want to potentially be hassled by size requirements.
Spoiler
Oh, my head. What the hell did I drink? I remember beating up the Critic and then...
Spoony looks at the three others on the ground for a moment.
Huh. Cosplay, then. LINKARA, WAKE UP!
Ugg. What did Bennet find this time?
Nothing, man. We're just...here. Can't have been Bennet, I don't write fanfiction. Dork.
Thirteen! Anyway, if it wasn't Bennet, why the hell are we here...and why am I dressed in a girls robe?
That's a very good question. I'd say it's because you are incredibly feminine.
Shut up. Why are you here, anyway.
Isn't it obvious? Because we've been drawn here by a great magic, and as the most powerfus magician in the the world, I was drawn here with the rest of you losers.
So...we're in your standard RPG?
Exactly.
Where...who...what am I? And who are you?
All good questions that I don't have to answer. To sum it up though, you're in a standard RPG plot, you're identity is unknown, and you're a loser in a peter pan outfit. We're the rest of the party, while you are a standard-
Plot device. The amnesiac party member. Just great, we'd better not meet any childhood friends of yours.
Enough! Let's just go to that town.
It's a dump.
Maybe we should ask around and find out where we are.
Excellent idea, Linkara. If this is like your average RPG, then we should be able to find the plot. Go ask that woman over there.
Well...now we know where we are...what's a Corneria?
A city in the middle of nowhere which practices cannibalism. It's why such a large city has such a small population. I vacation here, shall we begin eating them?
No, were not eating them! Now shut up, I think I've heard that name somewhere.
Maybe we could ask that girl over there more?
I think I like this game. Alot; how about you and I go-
Spoony! We're suppose to be finding out why we're here!
Okay, okay. Sorry baby, maybe you and I can get to this some other-
Spoony.
This will only take a minute! Now as I
Spoony.
What, Linkara. What is so important?
That Guy just wondered off and appears to be causing a scene.
I swear officer, it's just like I said, it's an ordinary well. I did not drop any bodies in it.
I don't think we believe you.
Then maybe you'll answer to a...fireball!
A fireball crashes into the assorted guards.
Just as I thought. My satanic powers still work here. Thank God for the Devil.
Great. Well at least you took care of the witnesses. Let's go see the King. He's bound to know what we're here for.
Uh...Yes! Yes we are. So let us see the king.
Okay.
Save the princess? As long as I can-
We're not doing that.
But you don't even know what I was going to say.
You were going to say eat her.
You're no fun at all, Linkara.
Quiet, both of you, we're going to save the princess and get out of here with most of our bodies intact.
Will our heroes succeed? Will I update today? Will anyone comment on this? Find out the answers...next post.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
Tentatively watching it. Interesting, I suppose, taking the people from the That Guy With The Glasses site and putting them in Final Fantasy... a shame I only ever watch The Nostalgia Critic.
Also, Ask That Guy confirmed for Black Mage ripoff.
Also, I hate you. Why that avatar? Whyyyyyyyyyy. Oh god the memories... they haunt me....
I have a few other avatars if you wish. Would you prefer Fred? Or maybe The Wiggles puppet. He's not quite a Black Mage ripoff. After all, Ask That Guy is successful in his horrific sinning, rather than a Butt Monkey.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
I have a few other avatars if you wish. Would you prefer Fred? Or maybe The Wiggles puppet. He's not quite a Black Mage ripoff. After all, Ask That Guy is successful in his horrific sinning, rather than a Butt Monkey.
So, more like Richard from LFG?
Sounds even less interesting, then.
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Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?
No, no. Richard's sins were meaningless violence only. Evil Affable. Ask That Guy is a Complete Monster. There is a difference. Oh, and he's actually plot relevant.
Edit:To Dark Fiddler, everyone gets a small hint; every trait he's given is relevant, both personality and ability, right down to his class.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
Thank you. And I do plan to update today, probably in an hour or two.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
So, we've got to save the princess and then we can get home.
How do you know that will get us home?
Because, Linkara, this is an RPG. Save the princess from an evil villain and you're done. Unless it's a JRPG, then it'll probably lead into a massive, unrelated quest in which she keeps getting kidnapped.
Unless we eat her.
Still not doing that.
Then how about we _____ her with ______ and feed her to a ______ then collect the _____ and _____.
MY EARS! You're worse than Bennet!
Thank you.
....This is my team. We are all going to die.
Maybe we should just get moving?
Not yet. Let's check to see what we have.
I've got a dagger and wooden armor.
My cloth and satanic powers.
Robes and a giant mallet
Normal clothes and a rapier.
Okay then, let's wonder over to those woods and-
Oh. A random encounter. I hate my life.
What do you mean?
Attacked by monsters that came out of nowhere and have no reason to hate us? This IS a JRPG.
Can't we just attack them?
It's almost definitely turn based. Let my try.
You see that!? I roasted that sucka! I AM THE KING, BABY!
Let me try, I've got this mallet...
You're right Spoony, this is fun!
Wait until you see what I can do.
Now I'm going to take the body home and molest it.
You scare me dude....why did I just say dude?
Whadda you mean?
I don't say dude...
Let's just keep moving.
----------------Several hours later-----------------
I thought travel in RPGs was suppose to be fast! Unless you're playing Suikoden IV, but we're not in a boat.
I'm on a boat!
Shut up.
Sorry. Don't know why I said that.
See, it's happening to someone besides me!
You're worrying about nothing. It hasn't happened to me or That Guy
Nothing can touch me with magic. It's part of my accord with Satan.
You sure have made a lot of deals with Satan.
So have you, Spoony of Many Colours.
What?
Oh nothing.
Great, just great. Spoony, why do we keep him on the team? We don't need him and I honestly think he's more likely to work for our enemies than kill them.
No, I have to get home to. For My Job.
With the Nostalgia Critic?
Ooh, that would be interesting. Would that be-
Ookay, shutting you up now.
....Is that the right castle?
Where?
Over there in the darkness.
Wher- oh I see it now.
Not exactly intimidating.
It's a dump. This guy must really be second rate.
Can I have him?
Sure.
Garland? Don't make me laugh. Did you really think that the armor and stupid name would fool us?
I do not know what you mean, nor why I said that.
You just threw on some armor; I'd recognize that voice anywhere, Pollo.
Your dorky little robot?
The one who killed you.
OHHHH. Let's kick his a**.
While I am Pollo and you are clearly Linkara, I do not actually recognize you. It is possible we have not met yet.
Time travel? TIME TRAVEL!? ATTACK!
LET'S KILL HIM!
Spoony-
Time travel, Linkara! We're in RPGland with time travel! We're probably in a final fantasy rip off! Or worse yet, a spin off!
Lightning Bolt!
That's how I deal with all robots; just like my toaster.
Yeah! Now time for a little...
FIRE!
I'm not going near that thing with a Mallet.
C'mon you pansy.
I've seen his shield! You've just made him stronger!
Whadda you mean?
Try casting fire on him again.
Okay, watch-
this? Why can't I cast it?
The robot has adapted to our magic and drained it.
He couldn't do that second part before. So how can he do it now?
Smurf sacrifice.
What?
You know those blue smurfs in the Avatar film? After they chased off the humans, the robots came along from the future and sacrificed them to their robot god. It was a horrendous sight, that no one should ever have to see. So much blood and gore and hello kitty merchandise-
I can guess where this is going so please, shut up.
Linkara! Attack him with your hammer!
That was pathetic.
I told you!
Enough.
Woohoo! He killed That Guy!
I don't know how, but I disabled his shield. Linkara, you've only got one shot.
Okay, but only because he'll kill us to. I'm not helping That Guy.
So...cold...Linkara; will I dream? Ale....l...
So...whaddya think?
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
Sorry for the wait; also thanks to events in this update, AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION
Spoiler
How...how did we get here?
Hmm? Oh, the accord I made with God to come back to life.
Wait...does that mean you work for-
Yes. It makes my parties very awkward.
Huh. Well let's get-
******Random Encounter with 2 Ogres picture.
God****** FAR AWAY WITH THE VILLAINS
Well...that's sad. After all that SCIENCE we used...
Yeah. I didn't even get to fight That Guy.
Making this a waste of our time.
Not...necessarily. We could pull another four souls, implant the memories of the first four.
But none of them will be a nemesis to any of us.
We haven't used the Critic yet.
Good point. Let's do it.
So, it's up to you; what four should I use next and their classes? Voting closes in 24 hours.
.
.
.
Yes the main four's deaths were rushed, but I didn't get alot of screenshots of the fight. I'm sorry.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
Warrior: Nostalgia Critic
Blackbelt or Thief: Chester A Bum
Black Mage: Angry Joe
White Mage: Lord Kat
...of course, this only really works with reviewers you're familiar with, so you should probably base your decisions as much off that as off the voting.
Zevox
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Toph Pony avatar by Dirtytabs. Thanks!
"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis
"We each decide our own sense of right and wrong. The rest, I leave to my sword." - Yuri Lowell, Tales of Vesperia
I'm familiar with 95% of the people on the site. Don't let the idea you can only use popular people stop you. I know everything from Nostalgia Critic all the way down to the Distressed Watcher. Don't worry about pandering.
__________________
Doliest's crimes against good taste
Spoiler
An Uwe Boll fan, and proud of it. LONG LIVE THE BOLL!
Also a Michael Bay fan.
Likes Jar Jar
Likes FATAL..... No, I'm sorry, but no. Everything else on this list? I like, but while I've done many horrible things in my life, I WILL NOT claim to like FATAL.
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