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I've been making stuff for my game, though few of them are actually useless, but it needs a bit of thinking to get a use out of them.
Examples:
Fetch Pebble:
Once thrown (read: left the last persons skin) it will hover and move at 10' per round towards the thrower. If on that path it encounters the skin of another being the "holder" changes to that one.
sticky marble:
A marble that sticks on any kind of skin. A DC 15 strenght check is needed to pull it off though attempts to do so do never harm the being its stuck to.
spoon of cooking:
When held, make a DC 12 will save or be dominated to make a delicious meal out of materials currently available to you.
blue eyes glasses:
When put on, the eyes of any character appear blue when viewed through the lenses.
amulet of delay:
when wearing this amulet any sound that would result from a direct action of the character is dealyed 1d4 rounds at random.
shackles of zapping:
when both shackles are put on different beings, each is subjected to random shocks (1d4 points of electricity). (roll 1d100: 1-10 being 1, 11-90 neither, 91 to 100 being 2; repeat per minute)
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My first foray into homebrew: The Circuit Mage
The glove of clapping - it's a single leather glove. When worn, a command word causes it to make a clapping noise.
Sun Glasses - These shiny yellow spectacles were created by a prank-loving priest of Pelor. They are darkened glasses which prevent dazzling from bright light while not inhibiting vision in dark environments - although the fact that each lens is bright yellow and shaped like a pointy sun-icon makes many cringe at the idea of actually wearing them. When worn for 12 hours, they cause the wearer to get a nice, even, dark tan over their entire body - except for about an inch around both eyes, which is left pale. This effect is most remarkable on drow and other naturally dark creatures, since the paleness around the eyes is apparently as much a part of the effect as the tanning.
The Dog Whistle - This is a common whistle, except that when blown it makes no noise. However, 1d10 rounds later, a dog will be summoned (as per summon nature's ally 1). This dog does not obey the commands of the whistle blower, or anyone else, and if the whistle is blown again, if it is attacked or if anyone attempts to use a spell or skill on it, it runs away immediately. After 1d4 minutes, it will marks its territory (possibly on a PC or NPC, this is a ranged touch attack with a range of 5 feet and a +10 bonus to hit) and then disappears. If the dog is killed, its remains vanish within 1 round and it cannot be summoned again for a week.
The Sword of Damoclese - A magic blade from legendary tales. It would act as a Dancing Scimitar for anyone who knows the command word - unfortunately that command word is in a forgotten tongue for a dead race who's physiology was capable of producing completely unique sounds. Without the command word, then this sword will imprint itself on a random individual and hang 3 feet above their head (pointed down, as though about to fall and impale their skull), soft of like a giant metal exclamation point or a very dangerous ion stone. If it is unable to maintain this position (due to a low ceiling or persistent attempts to catch it), it will disappear, turning invisible, and silently stalk its intended 'master' for a time. It will always re-appear shortly before the person awakens from sleep, so that the first thing they see in the morning is a sword a few inches above their nose, suspended in mid-air. A character who is being followed by this sword who enters an anti-magic field should make a reflex save (DC 15) to avoid getting skewered by the falling blade. On a successful dexterity check (also DC 15), the character can attempt to wrest the sword out of the air and wield it as a weapon. Each round they wield the blade, however, they take a -4 circumstance penalty to attack and damage (because the sword is uncooperative) and must make a DC 15 strength check. Immediately after losing control of the sword, it will flat them for 1d6 non-lethal damage in retribution before taking it's place again (or turning invisible, if it's feeling spiteful).
Earmuffs of songs: A special theme song plays for your character (out of no where) every time he does something interesting, but he can't hear it himself.
Gloves of the hairy moose: When a character puts these on his palms grow hair for 1d4 days. Any attempt to remove the hair makes it magically grow back.
Amulet of oppositional emotion: Whatever the character's emotion is, its shown the opposite on his face. If he's sad, he'll smile, if he's fighting he'll giggle like a school girl, etc.
I need some magic items that are fun but completely useless. Like the Window of transparency, it lets the use see through it . I need more like this.
I disagree with the central premise of this thread. Ever since the invention of the Artificer, there's no such thing as a "completely useless" magic item. If nothing else, I can strip out its magical power to make a truly useful magic item.
Needing such a random but intriguing item for people to play with, I created a box. An impossible to open, unadorned wooden box that can be held in two hands. When shaken, moved, bumped or even looked at, it might randomly emit Dancing Lights, Sleep or Hold Person.
Not the "might" and the "randomly". In the case of Hold Person, it will act with a 50% chance on the holder or the target (if any), and Sleep has a chance of affecting anyone in the vicinity. Usually it activates at the most useless or mundane moments.
Although it is designed to be more of an annoyance to the players who want to get it to work on command, it can be highly amusing and/or inconvenient.
The above description was designed to be vague and adaptable to the needs of any circumstance, campaign or player.
Boogie Skeleton
This pile of bonus is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.
Give them a variant on Presto's hat. When they cast a spell using the magic hat, pick a word at random. The player must immediately create a rhyme using that word which also described what the spell should do. If they quickly and correctly do so, then apply a random beneficial effect (metamagic, secondary healing or protection effect, auto-hit, etc). If they delay, stumble in their words, or can't think of anything, they lose the spell and something weird happen.
Player: I cast Magic Missile using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is shazam.
Player: These missiles hit you like a ram, I laugh, you cry, I win, shazam!!!
DM: Your missiles deal maximum damage.
Next Round:
Player: I cast Color Spray using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is hue.
Player: I will ... uh... change your hairdo, and cut your bangs, like a stylist... named Hue?
DM: Your Color Spray creates an explosion of rainbow colored permanent dye, directly in your face.
Player: Yeah, I had that coming.
Give them a variant on Presto's hat. When they cast a spell using the magic hat, pick a word at random. The player must immediately create a rhyme using that word which also described what the spell should do. If they quickly and correctly do so, then apply a random beneficial effect (metamagic, secondary healing or protection effect, auto-hit, etc). If they delay, stumble in their words, or can't think of anything, they lose the spell and something weird happen.
Player: I cast Magic Missile using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is shazam.
Player: These missiles hit you like a ram, I laugh, you cry, I win, shazam!!!
DM: Your missiles deal maximum damage.
Next Round:
Player: I cast Color Spray using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is hue.
Player: I will ... uh... change your hairdo, and cut your bangs, like a stylist... named Hue?
DM: Your Color Spray creates an explosion of rainbow colored permanent dye, directly in your face.
Player: Yeah, I had that coming.
That's the best stupid magic item I have ever seen.
I must use that someday.
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English is a second language etc etc.
I had a gnomish illusionist/rogue back in 2nd Ed. who got a Robe of Garishness he was very happy with. He could change the color scheme and pattern at will and even set up a simple kaleidoscopic effect, but it all had to be at least somewhat reminiscent of this.
Grapeberry: A grape with the shape, colour, texture, and flavour of a strawberry.
I lol'd!
A PiG: A Pig in Germany, when you buy one of these a pig appears in Germany.
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Avapony by Dirtytabs!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiki Snakes
Finding out that the ennui and cynicism of our times is not, after all, an unavoidable unreverseable fate does kind of throw your world-view off, potentially.
A scroll of awaken that only works on shid tzus. (I have two of them in the house with me at the moment, they're getting on my nerves.
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Thanks to Kymme for the Evil Paladin Avatar!
Nicest thing said of me:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 'Able' Xanthis
This is what a properly motivated caster is like, people. Concussive explosions able to rip the front end of a hummer in twain and Chilling is using them to filter out those who don't make the cut. Those unworthy of his true magistic might.
A cursed Scroll of Erase which only works on the scroll itself.
Bowl of Comfortable Warmth: Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it's a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it's still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.
Lightstone of Light: A stone which allows the wearer to cast the Light spell on it. Only works in a fully illuminated area. The Light spell wears off if either the caster, the stone, or both leaves the fully illuminated area.
The Magic Stone: The Stone's magical ability is that it appears to be magical if detected by spells such as Detect Magic.
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English is a second language etc etc.
Rod of Neutrality, can cast each of the following a certain number of times per day:
Open/Close with the side effect of casting Open/Close again on the same target
Knock with the side effect of casting Arcane Lock on the target (and vice versa)
Sunlight with the side effect of casting Darkness centered on the same point (and vice versa)
The possibilities are endless! I suppose casting knock on an already unlocked door would have the effect of locking it, so there is some small use for this item.
This innocent looking item has a strange effect on those who hear of it. They are consumed with the desire to own the Item. The owner of the Item feels it to be one of his most precious possessions and cannot be persuaded to part with it. However, this does not stop him from giving the Item away as a gift. Just from selling it. The current owner will do the best they can to both keep the Item secure, and keep it close to their person at all times.
If it is stolen it's owner, the former owner will seek it out. The new owner will be affected by the magic of the Item as above.
This innocent looking item has a strange effect on those who hear of it. They are consumed with the desire to own the Item. The owner of the Item feels it to be one of his most precious possessions and cannot be persuaded to part with it. However, this does not stop him from giving the Item away as a gift. Just from selling it. The current owner will do the best they can to both keep the Item secure, and keep it close to their person at all times.
If it is stolen it's owner, the former owner will seek it out. The new owner will be affected by the magic of the Item as above.
How is that remotely useless? Be immune to mind-influencing effects, give it to BBEG, watch him waste resources protecting a pretty powerful magical item.
It'd say it was a cursed item, not a magic item, though.
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English is a second language etc etc.
How is that remotely useless? Be immune to mind-influencing effects, give it to BBEG, watch him waste resources protecting a pretty powerful magical item.
It'd say it was a cursed item, not a magic item, though.
It's completely useless because it does nothing. And if you're immune to mind affecting stuff, it's going to get stolen from you very quickly.
Ring of "Bag of Holding" Holding: This plain, silver ring can hold an infinite number of Bags of Holding... as long as the Bags are completely empty. This one wasn't completely useless. One of my players came up with this after getting 30 Bags of Holding in a row off of the random treasure generation tables. Pet Rock: At first look, this seems to be a completely normal pebble. And it is. That Gnome merchant just put an aura on it to make you think it was magical.
Belt of Self-Disguise: This belt can be used 3 times per day to use Disguise Self as the spell. However, you may only disguise yourself as yourself and the spell gives no bonus to Disguise checks.
Last edited by AshDesert : 12-14-2010 at 07:16 PM.
The Optical Disk: Legends say that it holds vast knowledge, but how to access it remains a mystery. It can however be used to Dazzle opponents by reflecting light off its surface; Reflex DC10 saves.
Boots of Walking: This pair of boots can find its way home without you.
Shaving Blade +3: Exactly what it says on the tin. Rumours about it having the Vorpal attribute have not been confirmed.
Unloseable Keyrings: These cursed objects continually emit a very annoying high-pitched sound if they are ever seperated 10ft from their designated masters. Most are buried with their owners.
The Lucky Charm: This charm is very lucky. Unfortunately, none of its luck seems to brush off on its owner.
Knock with the side effect of casting Arcane Lock on the target (and vice versa)
The possibilities are endless! I suppose casting knock on an already unlocked door would have the effect of locking it, so there is some small use for this item.
You could also cast Arcane Lock on a mundanely locked door, so the Knock will open both.
Also note that Knock doesn't remove Arcane Lock, only suppresses it for 10 minutes.
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Quotes:
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Claudius Maximus
Also fixed the money issue by sacrificing a goat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subject42
This board needs a "you're technically right but I still want to crawl into the fetal position and cry" emoticon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yukitsu
I define [optimization] as "the process by which one attains a build meeting all mechanical and characterization goals set out by the creator prior to its creation."
Stylish Belt: This magical belt can have its apperance changed by pure thought alone. You may change its appearance as a fullround action: It can only be reshaped as as another type of belt or object of belt-like apperance of the same size as the belt had before. The belt may not be reshaped into a form which contains any metal other than iron, nor any type of gem or anything else remotely valuable.
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English is a second language etc etc.
Last edited by Shadowleaf : 12-14-2010 at 07:29 PM.
Ring of the Dark Covenant
When Identified, this ring appears to be a permanent Tongues spell that allows communication with Celestials. In practice, it only lets you speak in Celestial and only the highly offensive curse words. Asmodeus, rumor has it, originally created it as a joke.
Pants of Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow
When worn, music plays during an intimate event.
Mug of Dwarven Hate
Any alcoholic beverage placed into the cup instantly becomes alcohol-free and tastes of raw sewage.
Rod of Fertehlulz
This Rod appears to be magical, but an Identify spell yields no information other than an activation word: "Kaboom." When the Command Word is stated (as a Full Round Action), a Prestidigitation spell is activated to make a popping sound and a flash. Afterwards, a flag is unrolled from the top of the rod. The flag reads "Bang!"
Crossbow of Inner Torment
This is nothing more than a masterwork crossbow that has the arrow fly out of the stock, hitting the user. There is no other way to use it.
Cursed Lantern of Revealing
Appears to be a normal Lantern of Revealing but when used, activates an Alarm spell shouting "HEEEYYYY YOUUU GUUYYYSSS!"
Cursed Glasses of Seeing
When worn, the wearer is treated as being Blind. Grants immunity to Gaze Effects.
Last edited by Zergrusheddie : 12-14-2010 at 07:50 PM.
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Useless but fun magic Items
. I need more like this.
