Homebrew DesignRoll up your sleeves and get working: there's lots of homebrewin' to be done! Post your custom creation for critiques or review those of your peers.
For the player that wants to play D&D and be a monster, there's often a bitter pill to swallow. Maybe you're expected to deal with a kludgy level adjustment? Or perhaps the monster class they've already put out there has less-than-full HD per level? Or maybe there's just no LA or monster class option for that obscure monster you're so keen on, and you're forced to throw something together and beg your DM for its acceptance. Whatever the case, you're inevitably imbalanced one way or another. The session ends and people will often find themselves thinking things would have worked more smoothly if that monster hadn't been there to muck up the works.
No more!
In this thread, you will be able to play as any monster you want by entering these monster classes as though they were regular classes. Huge stat bonuses and screwy HD have been done away with, monsters with abilities that would throw campaigns into disarray (24/7 petrifying gaze! Woo!) have been rebalanced and made suitable for play. Monsters have been tweaked for your playing enjoyment.
If you love these monster classes, like so many do, there are two ways you can help out. You can critique or you can submit new monster classes.
The nebulous goal of this thread is to create a playable monster class for every monster in official material. Is that doable? Maybe not, but it's a good boundary to work within. For people wanting to work on monsters that aren't from official WotC material, there is a spin-off project, our homebrew edition. This spin-off project's main purpose is to make monster classes for PEACH'd homebrew monsters. Make sure to check them out!
General FAQ
Spoiler
Q) What monsters am I allowed to make into a monster class? A) We encourage Homebrewers to build any monster as a playable character class. We prefer that Homebrewers build Monster Classes for monsters from published material that have not already been submitted. Before starting a new monster class, check the 'called' list (where people have called dibs on a particular monster or indicated they have started such a monster already) and the finished monster list. New homebrewers are encouraged to pick low-CR monsters, and not to attempt to tackle epic tier (20+ level) classes from the outset. Monsters from homebrew monsters should go in our homebrew section.
Q) Help! I'm taking a 1 or 2 level monster class and can't tell if it's BAB 1/2 or 3/4! (For the purposes of fractional BAB). A) Unless otherwise noted, an undead has 1/2 BAB, while all other classes/templates have 3/4 BAB.
Q) When I increase in size does my strength increase and my dexterity decrease? If so, by how much? A) Size increases, or decreases, do not alter ability scores in this project.
Q) What's the Caster Level for the SLAs? A) Unless otherwise specified, the Caster level for any SLAs is equal to your total HD.
Q) What’s the Save DC for this ability? A) Unless otherwise specified the Save DC is (10+ 1/2 HD + Charisma Modifier).
Q) What is this list of monsters? A) The list is a collection of monster-classes that have been thoroughly P.E.A.C.H.ed, and are believed to be Play-ready. We make no claim to the perfection of a monster that has been listed, and continue to encourage comments and thoughts, even on monster-classes that have been 'finished.' Monsters that have been submitted but not added to the list are not yet fully critiqued, and you play at your own risk, using them.
The rest of the rules are split into three parts. Use Guidelines will teach you all the general rules for using these Monster Classes in a game, with specifics on changing size or multiclassing several monster classes (unintended by the project, but people are liable to try it anyways). Critique Guidelines will explain how you can help the project by commenting on other people's monsters. The Homebrew Guidelines state how you can help us by making your own Monster Class.
Use Guidelines
You take these Monster Classes just like you would any other class, such as wizard or rogue. Each level of the class develops your abilities as that particular monster. Normally you should take the first level of a Monster Class at level 1, but in some cases you might wish for your character to transform into a monster, in which case you can take it at a later level. After that, you may multiclass freely; for example one might take 1 level of troll, then 3 of barbarian, then a second level of troll, then another level of barbarian.
Upon taking the first level of a monster class, you lose all other racial traits: what this means is that while you may select a race in character creation, you lose that race when you take your first level in a monster class. You do not gain any traits or bonuses from being a race, as the first level of a Monster Class replaces both class and race. That said, the monster classes are typically a step more powerful than a standard class to make up for the lack of racial bonuses.
Growth Table
Spoiler
Base Size
New Size
AC & Attack Bonuses*
Space*
Reach (Tall/Long)*
Ave. Size Incr.
Ave. Weight Incr.
Grapple Mod.
Hide Mod.
Fine
Diminutive
-4 (size)
+½’
+0’/+0’
+6”
+1/2 lb.
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Diminutive
Tiny
-2 (size)
+1½’
+0’/+0’
+9”
+5 lbs.
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Tiny
Small
-1 (size)
+2½’
+5’/+5’
+18”
+36 lbs.
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Small
Medium
-1 (size)
+0’
+0’/+0’
+3’
+240 lbs.
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Medium
Large
-1 (size)
+5’
+5’/+0’
+6’
+2000 lbs.
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Large
Huge
-1 (size)
+5’
+5’/+5’
+12’
+8 tons
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Huge
Gargantuan
-2 (size)
+5’
+5’/+5’
+24’
+80 tons
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Gargantuan
Colossal
-4 (size)
+10’
+10’/+5’
+48’
+200 tons
+4 (size)
-4 (size)
Natural weapons damage increases one die size for each size increase.
Thanks to Zeta Kai for the Table.
Under normal circumstances you may not multiclass two Base Monster Classes. Below are some suggested rules should you decide to go against the grain and attempt such:
Multiple Natural Armor Bonuses
Spoiler
If a creature gains natural armor bonuses from multiple sources treat them according to the following chart.
Base Natural Armor
Extra Natural Armor
Results
1/2 Con Mod
1/2 Con Mod
Full Con Mod as Natural armor Bonus
Anything higher than 1/2 Con Mod
1/2 Con Mod
+1 Nat. AC
Full Con Mod
Full Con Mod
1.5 Con Mod
Anything Higher than Full Con Mod
Full Con Mod
+2 Nat. AC
1.5 Con Mod
Anything higher than Full Con Mod
+3 Nat. AC
Creatures that gain Natural Armor from more than one monster class, that specify different Ability Scores as the base for their Natural Armor Class use whichever Ability Score is higher to derive both Natural Armor Classes, and uses the chart above. Thanks to ChumpLump for the Table.
Multiclassing Monsters
Spoiler
In some cases, your DM may disregard the above rule and allow you to multiclass two base monster classes. This will likely represent some sort of hybrid character, which could be interesting. In this case, how you should play this is: For the monster class which you do not take at level one, remove the “Body of X” class feature, and use the “Body of X” for your first monster class. If you somehow take them at the same time using a variant rule like gestalt, keep the “Body of X” from the class with more levels. If they both have the same number of levels, you may choose which “Body of X” you keep.
Critique Guidelines
For any monster to be put up, it must be critiqued. By you! Here's how it works.
Monster approval is governed by a group of experienced or thoughtful homebrewers, known as the council. The council currently consists of Gorgondantess, Hyudra, and Magicyop. For any monster to be put on the list, it needs only to be approved by any two council members. The council is not a closed entity, if you wish to be a part of the council, send them a private message.
Further, the council are not the only ones who may critique-- we strongly encourage you to help others round out their monster classes. Especially if you hope to one day be on the council, you will only be chosen for the council if you critique often and critique well. Even for those not wishing to be on the council, critiquing others' work can improve the quality of your own submissions and may lead to you getting more critiques & faster approval of your own work. Someone who posts a monster and then doesn't post for two weeks while they wait for responses is going to get a less enthusiastic response than someone who is active and participating in the thread.
If you intend to comment on monster classes in any way, you should read the rules below and follow them.
Critiquing Rules
Spoiler
1. Respect
Respect is tantamount if you are working on this project. If you are disrespectful of a class or a homebrewer, you will face consequences within this thread. At all times we must all treat each other with respect. Ignore all other rules before you ignore this one. Never be disrespectful to another homebrewer.
Unless they're a twit. Then it's okay.
2. Contribution
Try to critique other Monster Classes whenever possible. It can be very frustrating if no one will critique your class, and if you skip over someone's class, they may feel left out. Just remember that if you help someone out by critiquing their class, they will likely help you out by critiquing your class.
How To Critique
Spoiler
1. Take a good long look at the class. A skimming look will not do. Read the entire thing, and try to get the image in your mind of what type of flavor the creator was going for. 2. Comment on the class as a whole before picking it apart. Give your feelings in general. 3. Note how you feel about each separate feature of the class. 4. Make sure the class is in accordance with the homebrew rules below. 5. Remember to also say what you like about the class-- try to find one nice thing to say about every monster class you critique. Every crafter has their merits.
Homebrew Guidelines
Making a Monster Class is difficult, so don't think you can whip something up in ten seconds and get it posted. It may be long and hard to perfect it, but we'll help you through it. Follow these guidelines and you'll quickly be on your way. Remember to start out with Hyudra's class template so that all classes are in a standard format.
Submission Guidelines:
Apply for a 'license' before submitting a monster. To get a license (essentially an a-ok to post monsters from one of the council members), simply PM a council member to ask for one, and let them know that you have read this post & the homebrew guide/FAQs linked immediately below this list. If you already have one or more monsters on the official list, added since the summer of 2010, you are assumed to be a license holder. This is just to avoid people making mistakes that are warned against elsewhere.
Start small. If you are new to the project, don't submit a monster with a CR (and, as a consequence, a maximum level) greater than 5. Leeway can be granted (say, a CR6-8 monster), but ask if you're really keen on doing such. Long & involved monster classes coupled with inexperienced creators make for monsters that can take two or more months to wrap up, with constant revision and critique. Not fun for anyone. Learn the ropes first.
Has it been done already? Check that the monster you want to submit is not on the finished list, the unfinished list, the abandoned list or the called monster list. There's no need to put in the work if someone else has already got the job done.
Spellcheck, format check: Read over your finished work for errors. Ideally, you want to run it through a spellchecker (either built into your browser or copy/pasted into a word document), but if you've got a good eye for errors, that can be omitted. Similarly, check the design & format of your post against other recently finished monsters (Such as Saguaro Sentinel or Troll) to see if there's something you're doing too differently.
Be prepared to revise: Monsters that are submitted have to go through a review process to ensure we're putting quality work out there. For this reason, the council members will go over monsters and suggest changes.
The following table lists monsters deemed 'abandoned', either voluntarily ("I'm not going to finish this") or due to inactive posting/lack of responses to critiques. If you wish to reclaim a monster of yours that was abandoned, inform a mod. If you wish to adopt a monster abandoned by another, attempt contacting the original poster, then seek council permission. If deemed appropriate by the council, depending on the monster and how close it is to being done, you should then post in the main thread expressing your interest to adopt the monster and what your plans are for it (starting fresh, just finishing what's there, what kind of abilities you're thinking of & what sort of fixes you're pondering). If someone else wishes to adopt the monster too, you should work out an agreement or compromise, or seek the input of others as to who has the stronger ideas. Once that is done, you may pick up that monster and make any changes necessary to get it up to your & our standards.
That's not really in the scope of the project, EdroGrimshell. If you'll note in the first post:
Quote:
"The nebulous goal of this thread is to create a playable monster class for every monster in official material. For people wanting to work on monsters that aren't from official WotC material, there is a spin-off project, our homebrew edition.
To everyone else: I've updated the list of unfinished monsters & called monsters. I'll wait until Gorgondantess is around with a minute or three to spare, and then we'll come to a conclusion about the monsters currently on the list (several are done, IMHO, but we haven't been able to do a proper council vote with MagicYop's unexplained absence).
You already noted the new unfinished monsters, I didn't catch anything you missed, but maybe somehow fit in the monstrous feats KB did (as well as the ones Gorgon did) in? Unless they're not in the scope of the project?
Dracolich, Shade Template, the original true dragons, shadow dragon, Yith Hound, Shadow Mastiff , and Vol were all requested.
__________________ No internet access from Fri night to Sun afternoon.
Awesome avatar by Zefir for Oliver Smiles.
Skills: 8+ int mod per level. All skills are class skills
Proficiencies: Illurien isn't proficient with any weapons except her tempest lash and isn't proficient with any armor.
Features:
Body of Knowledge: Illurien loses all other racial traits and gains outsider traits, (Basically darkvision 60 feet), Base move speed of 40 feet, and she gains the tempest lash ability. She is incapable of speaking but has telepathy out to 10 feet per HD.
Tempest lash: Illurien can use tempest lash as a standard action. The damage is equal to 1d8+strength modifier and she gets iterative attacks with the ability based on her BAB. At 10th level The lash deals 1d4 intelligence damage on a hit and she gains 5 temporary hit points for each point of intelligence she drains. These temporary hit points can not exceed her total hit points and go away at the end of the encounter.
If Illurien multiclasses for an arcane class she can count her levels in the Illurien class as levels of that class for purposes of CL and for the purposes of learning new spells and getting new spell slots. So for example, if Illurien takes 3 levels of her class and takes 1 level of sorcerer, she could choose to have CL 4, get 3 2nd level spell slots, 1 1st level spell slot, 1 2nd level spell known and 1 0th level spell known. She wouldn't get the spells known and spell slots of a sorcerer 3 however. She would get the familiar ability, but Illurien levels wouldn't count for it.
Strength of body and mind: Illurien gains a +1 bonus to her intelligence score at levels 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 and 15 for a total of +8 to her intelligence score at 15th level and a +1 bonus to strength at 4, 8, 12 and 15, for a total of +4 at level 15
SLAs: At 2nd level Illurien gains the spells detect magic, read magic and identify as SLAs, at 4th level she gains locate object and detect thoughts, at 6th level she gains arcane sight and tongues, at 8th level, she gains Scrying and locate creature, at 10th level she gains contact other plane, At 12th level she gains legend lore and Analyze Dweomer, and at 14th she gains plane shift and greater Teleport 1/day per 5 HD. Plane shift upgrades to greater plane shift at 20 HD. The other mentioned SLAs are usable 1/day per spell level HD.
Improved Body of Knowledge: At second level Illurien gains a resistance to electricity, and a bonus on saves against poison, paralysis, and disease equal to her HD. In addition, she gains the evil subtype which applies to all Natural/wielded weapons for the purpose of overcoming DR and she simply needs to trance instead of sleep.
Fast healing: At 3rd level Illurien gains fast healing 1. This amount increases by 1 every 3 HD.
Spell resistance: At 3rd level Illurien gains spell resistance equal to her HD+11
Storm of visions SU:The watery droplets that surround Illurien are the collected fragments of the knowledge she has accumulated. At 4th level, at the end of Each of Illurien's turns each enemy within 30 feet of her must succeed on a will save equal to 10+Half HD+ intelligence modifier or be dazzled for one round. A successful save negates the effect but each enemy in the area must make a new saving throw at the end of each of Illurien's turns. This is a mind affecting ability.
Home Plane: At 4th level, Illurien gains her own “Ivory tower”, known as the Aethenaum Nefarious. The Aethenaum Nefarious is a library filled to the brim with forgotten knowledge and dark secrets. This library is located in the Outlands but can be reached by plane shift. the library can be expanded with extra rooms to help Illurien in her search for knowledge and she gains an extra room every 4 HD In addition, the library grants a +1 bonus to knowledge checks per 2 HD and at 15th level, those within the library and their equipment become immune to all forms of divination, as if they did not exist. Illurien is also able to transport to her library as a full round action twice a day and bring her allies along with her. This place cannot be entered by anyone Illurien does not allow within but it can be destroyed. (Need help in determining how to be destroyed.)
choosable rooms (Need more)
Spoiler
Divination room: This room contains the normal material for a scrying spell and extra materials to make sure divination spells succeed. The room grants a +1 bonus to checks related to divination spells for each 4 HD Illurien has. In addition, at 10th level, Illurien can make a caster level check against the caster level of an effect preventing divination working. This does not work against foes who's divination immunity has no caster level behind it. Her caster level is equal to her hit dice.
Item creation room: This room grants 1 item creation feat for every time this option is taken. At 10th level, Illurien doesn't need to know the spells required for an item, as long as she meets the required caster level. Her caster level is equal to her hit dice.
Rest/Sustenance room:This room acts almost as a ring of sustenance for anyone within. The room expands to fit the size of her allies as needed and provides sustenance for any party member. In addition, party members need sleep or trance for only 2 hours while within the room.
Infinite Knowledge: Illurien can now use all that knowledge she stole to good use. A number of times per day equal to her intelligence modifier (minimum of 1), she may expend a move action to make a knowledge check against whatever she may be facing: local for monstrous humanoids, arcane for magical beasts and dragons, Architecture/Engineering for constructs, dungeoneering for aberrations & oozes, the planes for outsiders & elementals, nature for animals & fey, nobility & royalty for humanoids, and geography for giants. The DC of this knowledge check is 15. If she succeeds, all allies within 30 feet gain a +1 bonus to attacks against the creature (or creatures, if there are multiple creatures of the same race). This bonus increases by an additional 1 for every 10 points Illurien succeeds by.
Starting at 7th level, Illurien may instead grant a +1 bonus to saves against the creature's abilities, plus an additional one for every 10 points Illurien succeeds by.
Starting at 10th level, Illurien may instead grant +1d6 damage to attacks against the creature, plus an additional 1d6 for every 10 points Illurien succeeds by.
Starting at 13th level, Illurien may instead grant a +1 bonus to AC against the creature's attacks, plus an additional one for every 10 points she succeeds by.
Starting at 16th level, Illurien may instead grant a +1 bonus to DCS of any ability used against the creature, plus an additional 1 for every 10 points she succeeds by.
Flight: at 5th level Illurien gains a fly speed of 40 feet and good maneuverability. The speed increases by 20 for every 5 HD afterward.
Combat expertise: At 5th level, Illurien gains combat expertise as a bonus feat. At 10th level the dodge bonus also applies to the miss chance of cloud of foresight. If Illurien already has Combat advantage at this point, she can instead choose any feat from the fighter's list of bonus feats. The bonus to the miss chance at 10th level applies either way.
Damage reduction (EX): At 6th level Illurien gains damage reduction good equal to half her hit dice.
Greater body of knowledge(EX): At 7th level, Illurien only needs to trance for 4 hours, is immune to poison and disease and gains a bonus on saves against the fatigue and exhausted conditions equal to her HD. In addition, she can take 10 on knowledge checks even in a threatening situation.
Cloud of Foresight SU: At 8th level, drawing on her boundless lore, Illurien uses her opponent's tendencies and desires against them. This causes her opponents to have a 10% miss chance against her. The miss chance increases by 10% every time she takes another 2 levels in the class for a total of 40% at 14th level.
Improved storm of visions: At 9th level, the effect changes from dazzled to dazed and the effect lasts an additional round.
Knowledge devotion: At 9th level Illurien can gain the benefits of Infinite knowledge as well.
Growth: At 9th level Illurien grows to large size.
Mind sight: At 11th level, Illurien gains the ability known as mind sight with a range equal to her telepathy range. This ability allows Illurien to determine which square any being with an intelligence score of 1 or higher is located in. Illurien can also determine the being's type and intelligence score. This takes no extra action. If a creature has concealment, or total concealment, they still retain them.
Perfected body of knowledge: At 11th level, Illurien no longer needs to sleep, is immune to effects that would make her fall asleep, and to the fatigued and exhausted conditions..
Rejuvenation: When Illurien would “die” she instead regenerates within the Aethenaum Nefarious in 2 days. However, she loses one level each time this happens. This ability comes in at level 12.
Perfected tempest Lash: At 13th level, Illurien can drain XP from her enemies. This XP is equal to the enemy's hit dice and she gains this with each hit of her tempest lash. This XP goes to a separate pool from her leveling XP and cannot be shifted over. This XP can be used for crafting items, casting spells, or some other such purpose. This XP can not exceed Illurien's current hit dice multiplied by 100
Perfected storm of visions At 14th level, The DC of storm of visions increases by 2, Dazed upgrades to stunned, and the ability loses the mind affecting tag.
Improved SLAs: At 15th level, Illurien can add 2 spells of levels 1-6 from the wizard/sorcerer list to her list of SLAs. The amount of times she can cast these per day are equal to 1/spell level HD.
Hey, if you guys wouldn't mind throwing some ideas out for the Remorhaz, that would be cool too. I've kinda hit a mental block with it. Also, I'll try and have a review or two up by tomorrow. I've been slacking on that.
__________________
"The more I talk, the stupider I sound." ~Me
"Life is what you make of it." ~Deadpool
You already noted the new unfinished monsters, I didn't catch anything you missed, but maybe somehow fit in the monstrous feats KB did (as well as the ones Gorgon did) in? Unless they're not in the scope of the project?
Dracolich, Shade Template, the original true dragons, shadow dragon, Yith Hound, Shadow Mastiff , and Vol were all requested.
Added the feats as 'other unfinished/uncritiqued content'.
Added more of the requested monsters.
Quote:
Illurien
Needs an image.
Bleh, 15 level class.
Source? Without it, can't look at the original monster for flavor & details. I had to look it up.
Telepathy out to 10' per HD is kind of crippling. That means not being able to talk to other people in the same room as you.
All skills should not be class skills. That gives you access to iajitsu focus, hypnotism, craft dreamweave item, and so on... skills with concrete in-game benefits that can really power you up. Also, it's the factotum's schtick that you're messing with.
The numbers in the table (particularly BAB) are screwy. Some are like +1 and others are like + 3 (with a space). It needs tidying.
Needs more flavor text in ability descriptions, so we've got a better idea of what's going on and why. You mention a tempest lash, but I frankly don't have a clue what that is, especially because there's no source listed.
I get the impression I already reviewed this, which is strange because some of the stuff I'm seeing looks like stuff I would've caught, before.
Tempest Lash:
The healing is perhaps a bit much. Consider that you're potentially delivering two 1d8+Str attacks, dealing 2d4 str mod damage and gaining 10-20 hp on each attack.
SLAs:
State, as you describe each level of SLAs, how many times they can be used a day. It's very unclear, as it's currently stated.
"The other mentioned SLAs are usable 1/day per spell level HD." is awkwardly worded.
Improved Body of Knowledge:
"purpose of overcoming DR and she simply needs to trance instead of sleep. " is weirdly worded. The trance thing is a thought of its own. End the sentence after detailing DR and then bring up trances after that, in a sentence of its own.
Storm of visions SU:
Ability needs a proper name, with capitalization (and if you're detailing (su), (ex), etc, do it consistently and use the standard formatting).
You mention watery droplets. I'm confused. Describe the abilities in a way that people who haven't seen the monster have an idea of what they're about.
"At 4th level, at the end of Each of Illurien's turns..." each should not be capitalized.
I don't like abilities that add a lot of rolling & bog down combat. Figure that you're 4th level. You've got 15 levels to gain to reach 20th level. To gain a level, assuming 4 standard, fair encounters a day, one must pass through 13.3 encounters. Right?
So you're talking ~200 encounters to reach through level 20. Over those 200 encounters, in every single round, pretty much every enemy is going to have to make a will save or be dazed. Pass or fail, you're going to have to make the save again at the end of her next turn... that's a crapton of rolling. Depending on the number of rounds in the average combat, the frequency of combat based encounters and the number of enemies, you're talking 500-1000 will saves being thrown out there.
Home Plane:
I don't like that you named it for the player. Let the players name their own dark library.
Being able to transport to the library is fine. Not having a way to transport back is... inconvenient.
This strikes me as an ability fitting for a much higher level than 4th.
Infinite Knowledge:
Seems like a kind of overpowered version of Knowledge Devotion. The problem with skill-based abilities is that they either don't work at all (truenaming) or they're too easy to pump, granting ridiculous bonuses.
The 13th level bonus sucks. A bonus to AC granted around the time that AC really has started to decline in usefulness. I can't see smart players using it.
The 16th level bonus is weird and ill-fitting. I can't think of a better way to say it. "DCS" is confusing (Save DCs would be better, but still awkward), and there's really no precedent for an ability like it. Replace it?
Combat Expertise:
The thing about combat expertise is that, as a feat that's a prerequisite for so many other feats, it's one you take early or you just don't take it at all. As such, it is out of place at 5th level.
"If Illurien already has Combat advantage at this point, she can" ...
What's combat advantage?
You reference cloud of foresight before the ability is granted, which is confusing. Consider moving the dodge bonus details to the cloud of foresight entry instead.
Damage Reduction:
"At 6th level Illurien gains damage reduction good equal to half her hit dice." -- I'd reword, as it's just clunky in the underlined part there. Look at other monsters for how they worded the DR entries.
Cloud of Foresight SU:
Ability name needs fixing.
"The miss chance increases by 10% every time she takes another 2 levels in the class for a total of 40% at 14th level. " - wording is awkward in the underlined part there.
So... I have 40% chance to dodge any attack at 14th level. I've also got the dodge bonus from combat expertise, so that's... 5%? 45% chance to avoid any attack. I'm also getting +5 to AC in addition to my existing bonus, so my AC is maybe going to prevent what? One in five attacks on its own? Seems a little much, numberwise. It strikes me that with some other abilities and/or concealment benefits, you're nigh untouchable (Say, warlock's entropic shield, as a start).
Improved Storm of Visions
Capitalize every letter of an ability name. So instead of "Improved storm of visions" it would be "Improved Storm of Visions".
I've stated why I don't like Storm of Visions, Dazed is actually a pretty crippling condition tacked onto the insane number of rolls being performed.
Knowledge Devotion:
Capitalize ability names.
What would happen if I, as an Illurien with skills stacked to maximize knowledge, huge int, int bonuses from levels in the class, item familiars granting +20 or more to the knowledge skill of my choice, picked up the Knowledge Devotion feat in addition to the bonuses granted here? Stacking! Too easy/intuitive to abuse.
Mind Sight:
Capitalize ability names.
Perfected Body of Knowledge:
Capitalize ability names.
"and to the fatigued and exhausted conditions.. " -- isn't a complete thought. Two periods at the end there.
Rejuvenation:
Kind of crippling if you don't necessarily get a choice in the matter. If I'm the BBEG trying to defeat the party, I'm going to kill the Illurien over and over, and run away after each time.
Perfected Tempest Lash:
I complained about the number of rolls with storm of knowledge, and I complained about the number of things that tempest lash got, goodie wise. I fear the experience tracking makes a full attack routine by the Illurien into a bit of a headache (You're rolling vs. ac, doing damage, recording damage to the monster on the sheet, rolling int damage, recording changes to the monster on the sheet, adjusting stats where needed, calculating hp gain, adding to your temporary hp pool, calculating XP damage, adding to your special XP pool... and you're doing all this potentially twice a round, several rounds in a row.
Perfected Storm of Visions:
Capitalize ability names.
Needs a bracket between the ability name and ability description.
Text is a little rushed.
Improved SLAs:
Too vague, a little rushed.
I can add, what? Two spells, period? Or two spells for each level?
The number of times it's usable per day is awkwardly worded.
Overall, needs polish:
Ability names should be bolded, capitalized, there should be consistency with use of (Su) and (Ex) throughout all abilities or none, there should be a degree of flavor text, the text is a little rushed and feels like shorthand more than proper descriptions made for readability.
Might want to reread the stuff under the spoiler in spike volley, clean it up. There's a couple discrepancies from the editing.
Also, I was looking at some other monsters while reading this, and I was thinking... how would this stuff affect an iron golem? The spikes, I mean. Just think about it.
Skewer salvo: whuh! Again, the iron golem example: at 7 HD, you could just immobilize an enemy with one successful set of attacks if you took hooked spikes, so long as they had a move speed of 20' or less. The only thing that kept these spike abilities balanced is that it took so long to lay down more than a couple on an enemy. It would probably be better if rather than doing something like "max spikes/2", you did a subtraction. So, by 15th level, yeah, you're going to be launching a lot of spikes. This is a good thing. But 4 a round at level 7 is brutal- let the increased spikes start late and then increase at a good clip. Simply saying "2 spikes or max number of spikes minus 5, whichever is greater" should suffice.
Murderous impaler contradicts itself: there's a HUGE difference between ability score penalty and ability score damage.
I like launch impaler's new ability. At first I thought it might be a little too powerful, but then I realized it could only get abusable at level 15 or so, but by that time fighters become abusable. So, no problem. If someone wants to optimize their damage output, they can go right ahead.
Otherwise, looking OK.
Basilisk:
First thoughts... why does it get full BAB? And d12 HD?
Stone Eye:
Sedimentary gaze: it emulates a cantrip. A CANTRIP. Not worth a standard action when you can just be doling out 1d8+6. I mean, yeah, reflex save... but that only becomes an important thing at high levels. Actually, at low levels, lots of creatures have good reflex saves and poor fort saves.
Heavy glare: ...now I'm a little iffy that it may be too powerful, emulating not a cantrip, but a 3rd level spell.
Anyways, otherwise it's a bit iffy. Lots of rolling involved, lots of effects, lots of bookkeeping. I'd streamline it if I were you. Beyond that, at 1st level craggy look is honestly worse than sedimentary sight or heavy glare, and then at later levels it's far better than either! Pretty much everything in it is off, from the actual petrification (which keeps to the craggy look vs. sedimentary sight or heavy glare discrepancy), to the abilities. Good idea, though, just poorly implemented.
Eight clawed: Cool.
Tail Smash: ...Might want to be a little more deliberate about it. Maybe just "ignores hardness".
Slow Metabolism: good.
Geomorphic Gaze: I'd never use it. Battlefield control, yes, but pitifully low range, and small effects. A swift action would be better. Also, this obstacle mechanic is... odd. By RAW, you don't actually have to be behind the object for it to give you cover.
Deliberate advance: cool.
Subspecies: no abyssal?
Petrifying gaze: all really good, but... even more rolling...
Consider this: you take sedimentary sight, craggy look, and crushing glower. The rolls: attack roll, 2 different saves, some dexterity damage dependent on the attack roll, and then rolling for both strength, constitution and dexterity damage dependent on the fort save. Then all the bookkeeping for 3 reduced ability scores, part of it damage, part of it penalty, and the DR and hardness, and multiple different durations, and checking for petrification. STREAMLINE!
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Spoiler
Classic Cthulhu by RTGoodman
Critical Failures by Strawberries & Captain Happy, respectively.
You forgot to add my entry on contracting lycantropy in the other thread. It's on page 26.
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Last edited by Betropper : 01-09-2011 at 08:11 AM.
Fatigue makes me wax philosophic and/or babble. If I've posted something strange and tangential, that is probably the cause. This entry would be an example.
Fatigue makes me wax philosophic and/or babble. If I've posted something strange and tangential, that is probably the cause. This entry would be an example.
Might want to reread the stuff under the spoiler in spike volley, clean it up. There's a couple discrepancies from the editing.
I read it and reread it, and only saw one minor paragraph format that could be tidied up. One of the reasons we ask for critiques is because, after a considerable amount of time spent working on a monster, we're intimate enough with the entry that we'll overlook stuff. Can you be clearer?
Quote:
Also, I was looking at some other monsters while reading this, and I was thinking... how would this stuff affect an iron golem? The spikes, I mean. Just think about it.
I'll give it some consideration. The thought crossed my mind, I just wasn't sure what angle to take - my inclination was just to say "It'll affect an iron golem too, just refluff."
Quote:
Skewer salvo: whuh! Again, the iron golem example: at 7 HD, you could just immobilize an enemy with one successful set of attacks if you took hooked spikes, so long as they had a move speed of 20' or less. The only thing that kept these spike abilities balanced is that it took so long to lay down more than a couple on an enemy. It would probably be better if rather than doing something like "max spikes/2", you did a subtraction. So, by 15th level, yeah, you're going to be launching a lot of spikes. This is a good thing. But 4 a round at level 7 is brutal- let the increased spikes start late and then increase at a good clip. Simply saying "2 spikes or max number of spikes minus 5, whichever is greater" should suffice.
Thanks for the suggestion. You're right, I don't know what I was thinking.
Quote:
Murderous impaler contradicts itself: there's a HUGE difference between ability score penalty and ability score damage.
That's intentional. Note the 'further'. Each spike will subtract 2 con, but half of that gets mended when you yank out the offending spike, the other persists as ability score damage.
Quote:
I like launch impaler's new ability. At first I thought it might be a little too powerful, but then I realized it could only get abusable at level 15 or so, but by that time fighters become abusable. So, no problem. If someone wants to optimize their damage output, they can go right ahead.
Alright.
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Basilisk:
First thoughts... why does it get full BAB? And d12 HD?
I discussed that in the comments. I agree it may be a touch over the top, but it's ultimately a monster with little else going for it than the petrifying gaze. Pit it against an enemy that's immune and it's just got a substandard natural attack.
That would normally point to getting some fair Str & Con bonuses, for a creature with no fine manipulation or speech, but the hazard with con bonuses is that it's a creature with a con based special ability. If I give it 6 con over 5 levels, that's a +3 to all the DCs.
With Str and a substandard BAB, its last resort weapon (the bite) should at the very least be somewhat reliable, I figured.
I'll tweak it, though. BAB changed, strength bonuses increased in number. May lower HD size and give it more natural armor.
Quote:
Stone Eye:
Sedimentary gaze: it emulates a cantrip. A CANTRIP. Not worth a standard action when you can just be doling out 1d8+6. I mean, yeah, reflex save... but that only becomes an important thing at high levels. Actually, at low levels, lots of creatures have good reflex saves and poor fort saves.
Interesting, that last statement. Hrmm. I may have to change my approach here.
Quote:
Heavy glare: ...now I'm a little iffy that it may be too powerful, emulating not a cantrip, but a 3rd level spell.
True, but my thought was that you're affecting just the single target and you're targeting a consistently high save, which tones it down a bit.
Hrmm.
Quote:
Anyways, otherwise it's a bit iffy. Lots of rolling involved, lots of effects, lots of bookkeeping. I'd streamline it if I were you. Beyond that, at 1st level craggy look is honestly worse than sedimentary sight or heavy glare, and then at later levels it's far better than either! Pretty much everything in it is off, from the actual petrification (which keeps to the craggy look vs. sedimentary sight or heavy glare discrepancy), to the abilities. Good idea, though, just poorly implemented.
Damn! And I really liked the gameplay dynamics & flavor of it. Now I'm gonna have to find another approach to the ability.
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Tail Smash: ...Might want to be a little more deliberate about it. Maybe just "ignores hardness".
Doable.
Quote:
Geomorphic Gaze: I'd never use it. Battlefield control, yes, but pitifully low range, and small effects. A swift action would be better. Also, this obstacle mechanic is... odd. By RAW, you don't actually have to be behind the object for it to give you cover.
Reworded it from "These obstacles do provide cover, but only to creatures within 30' of it." to "These obstacles can provide cover, but only for creatures within 30' of it." Changed the range to be dependent on Strength bonus rather than HD.
Quote:
Subspecies: no abyssal?
Dunno what kind of passive bonus I'd grant in that department. Don't know it's entirely fitting as a subspecies, either.
Quote:
Petrifying gaze: all really good, but... even more rolling...
Consider this: you take sedimentary sight, craggy look, and crushing glower. The rolls: attack roll, 2 different saves, some dexterity damage dependent on the attack roll, and then rolling for both strength, constitution and dexterity damage dependent on the fort save. Then all the bookkeeping for 3 reduced ability scores, part of it damage, part of it penalty, and the DR and hardness, and multiple different durations, and checking for petrification. STREAMLINE!
Well, keep in mind that you're only dropping one effect a round, as a standard action. It's not that different from the manticore's spikes, in that respect.
I'm gonna sit back & brainstorm a new approach to the stone/petrifying eye abilities, though. I don't want to go the medusa route, because it's just so "doing the same thing every combat", and I want some flexibility in there. I'll see what I can come up with.
Preliminary changes made to both Basilisk and Manticore. Other comments welcome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Betropper
You forgot to add my entry on contracting lycantropy in the other thread. It's on page 26.
You're right. Added.
Might I suggest doing as is standard for monster entries, and putting an image down for any meaningful non-monster content? Just so it's more eye catching and comes across as a more serious entry?
So like, an image before the collection of monstrous feats, and one before the contracting lycanthropy entry.
Reposting the Gargoyle, which has been changed considerably since it was last given an official's critique (though not since my last request for critiques, for clarity):
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Gargoyle
Spoiler
Gargoyle Hit Dice: d8
Level
Base Attack Bonus
Fort Save
Ref Save
Will Save
Class Features
1st
+0
+2
+2
+0
Gargoyle Body, Chiseled Armaments, Ability Boost
2nd
+1
+3
+3
+0
Freeze, Stone Skin Fortifications, Chiseled Armaments
Stone Cold Metabolism, Chiseled Armaments, Statuesque Perfection
Skills Points at 1rst Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) x 4 Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) Class Skills: The Gargoyle
’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Disguise (Cha), Hide (Dex), Listen (Wis), Spot (Wis).
"Ability Boost" should be listed as "+1 Con" in the table. Also, I think that the gargoyle deserves some Str bonuses. Incidentally, I think that ability boosts should come in pairs, to ensure an actual increase in bonus.
Proficiencies: The Gargoyle gains proficiency with its own natural weapons, but not with other weapons, armour or shields.
Gargoyle Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the
Gargoyle.
Gargoyle Body: At first level the Gargoyle loses all racial traits. They become a Medium Monstrous Humanoid. They gain two claws as primary natural weapons, dealing 1d4 damage each. They gain a Natural Armour bonus equal to half their Con modifier. A Gargoyle's primary natural weapons add (1.5 X Str mod) to damage, whilst their secondary natural weapons (if any) add (0.5 X Str mod). They have a +2 racial bonus to Hide checks in stone terrain.
I think that, since they have two natural weapons and the ability to increase the die size of each, the claws should only apply +Str damage, as opposed to 1.5X Str.
Chiseled Armaments: A Gargoyle's form is constantly chipped and repaired, each time becoming more powerful. At each level, a Gargoyle chooses one of the following abilities, with each one being able to be taken more than once, though not two levels in a row:
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Butchery: The Gargoyle gains a secondary natural weapon dealing 1d6 damage. This can be any type of natural weapon, from a tail slap to a bite to a slam. They also gain a body part appropriate to the new weapon, though it lacks fine manipulation regardless of form.
OR
Hideous Visage: They gain the ability to use the Intimidate skill to Demoralise a creature within 30ft of them. This uses a standard action and affects a number of creatures equal to 1/2 their HD. They gain Intimidate as a class skill.
OR
Ambush Hunter: They gain one die of Sudden Strike, adding an additional 1d6 damage to attacks against creatures who are denied their Dexterity bonus to Armour Class.
Sudden Strike (detail):
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If a Gargoyle can catch an opponent when he is unable to defend himself effectively from their attack, they can strike a vital spot for extra damage.
The Gargoyle’s attack deals extra damage any time her target would be denied a Dexterity bonus to AC (whether the target actually has a Dexterity bonus or not). Should the Gargoyle score a critical hit with a sudden strike, this extra damage is not multiplied.
Ranged attacks can count as sudden strikes only if the target is within 30 feet.
With a sap (blackjack) or an unarmed strike, a Gargoyle can make a sudden strike that deals nonlethal damage instead of lethal damage. They cannot use a weapon that deals lethal damage to deal nonlethal damage in a sudden strike, not even with the usual -4 penalty.
A Gargoyle can sudden strike only living creatures with discernible anatomies—undead, constructs, oozes, plants, and incorporeal creatures lack vital areas to attack. Any creature that is immune to critical hits is not vulnerable to sudden strikes. The Gargoyle must be able to see the target well enough to pick out a vital spot and must be able to reach such a spot. A Gargoyle cannot sudden strike while striking a creature with concealment or striking the limbs of a creature whose vitals are beyond reach.
OR
Filthy Talons: Any two of a Gargoyle's weapons inflict the disease Filth Fever (Incubation: 1d3 days, Infection: Injury, Fort save DC: 10+Gargoyle's Con mod, Damage: 1d3 Dex, 1d3 Con).
OR
Wicked Talons: You may improve the critical threat range or critical modifier of any two of your natural weapons by 1 (e.g. a 20 threat range to 19-20, or a X2 modifier to X3).
OR
Massive Swipe: You gain Awesome Blow (Monster Manual) as a bonus feat, even if you do not meet the prerequisites.
OR
Oversized Weapons: You may increase one natural weapon's damage by two size categories or two natural weapons' damage by one size category each. The natural weapons to which this ability is applied become the Gargoyle's primary natural weapon(s), instead of their claws, allowing you to add 1.5XStr mod to damage (instead of 0.5XStr mod for secondary natural weapons).
OR
Stone Vicegrip: The Gargoyle gains the Snatch feat (Monster Manual) as a bonus feat, even if they do not meet the prerequisites.
Well implemented, I like it. The limiting factors prevent you from getting ridiculous damage, but don't prevent any options. Good.
Ability Boost: The Gargoyle gains a +1 racial bonus to its Constitution score.
Stone Skin Fortifications: Upon reaching second level the Gargoyle gains access to one of the following abilities of their choice:
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Tough Skin: Their Natural Armour becomes 1.5 times their Con modifier, instead of half their Con modifier. They also reduce damage from their environment (including non-magical temperature extremes, lightning strikes, sandstorms, as well as falling damage and crushing damage caused by things such as cave-ins) by their natural armour bonus. In addition, their natural weapons are treated as magic for the purposes of bypassing damage reduction.
I think increasing Nat Armor from .5 to 1.5 Con is a bit much. Just make it equal to their Con bonus, especially since you're then giving them a bunch of other goodies based off it.
OR
Stone Body: They gain DR/Adamantine equal to half their Hit Dice (minimum 1). In addition, their natural weapons count as Adamantine for the purposes of bypassing hardness and damage reduction.
Looks good, though the name's a bit wonky. I don't think "stone" when I hear adamantine, I hear "harder than diamond."
OR
Zealous Carvings: They gain an enhancement bonus to saves equal to one third their HD (minimum 1). In addition, they gain the Lawful, Evil, Chaotic or Good subtype (choose one, cannot oppose their alignment at the time this ability is chosen, though it may later. For example, a Gargoyle is Chaotic Evil when they gain this ability, so they cannot choose the Good or Lawful suntypes. They choose the Evil subtype, but later their alignment changes to Good. They keep the subtype) and cannot have their alignment forcibly changed from the alignment of this subtype (by a Helm of Opposite Alignment, for example), though they may change from that alignment willingly. Their natural weapons, as well as any weapons they wield, count as being of the alignment matching your chosen subtype for the purposes of bypassing damage reduction.
Enhancement bonus? Unless I'm extremely rusty on my items, doesn't that not stack with a Cloak of Resistance? And even if it doesn't, it's worth a lot more than a Cloak of Resistance: at 9 HD you get +3 to your saves, when I doubt you have a CoR +3. Other than that, subtype stuff is good.
OR
Runecarved Body: They gain Energy Resistance equal to their HD to Fire, Cold, Electricity or Acid damage. This Energy Resistance stacks with most other sources (exceptions state that they do not stack with anything else). Their natural weapons deal an additional point of damage of a type matching their Energy Resistance per three HD (for example, a 6HD Gargoyle's natural weapons add two points of damage. Minimum additional damage is 1) and their natural weapons count as dealing damage all of this type for the purposes of energy vulnerabilities, but not energy resistances or immunities.
For example, a Gargoyle has chosen Fire Energy Resistance and fights a Treant. All their natural weapon damage is treated as Fire damage for the purposes of the Treant's Fire vulnerability, multiplying all natural weapon damage by 1.5. However, the same Gargoyle fighting a Salamander does not treat all of its natural weapon damage as Fire damage for the purposes of the Salamander's Fire immunity, so the Salamander is only immune to the added damage, not all of the natural weapon damage.
Confused- it only deals one point of element damage, but all of its natural weapon attacks count as that element? Useful, yes, in the case of immune creatures, but I've trouble justifying it flavor-wise. How does it interact if I take, say, acid, and decide to hit a wall? Acid bypasses hardness, do my attacks count as acid for that?
OR
Reflective Scales: The Gargoyle's racial bonus to Hide checks in stone envirnments improves by 4. In addition, they can become invisible 1/day/4HD for a number of rounds equal to 1/2 their HD.
This one's fine.
OR
Metabolic Redundancy: The Gargoyle no longer needs to eat, sleep, breathe or drink. They gain a (2XHD)% chance to avoid extra damage from criticals or sneak attacks, as the attack hits an organ which is no longer vital to the Gargoyle.
Eh, that's a weird fortification equivalent. Does it stack with fortification, or is it just a second chance to fail?
Freeze: At 2nd level the Gargoyle learns to hold perfectly still, fooling the most attentive of foes.
They can freeze as a free action to appear to be inanimate unless the examiner can succeed on a Spot check (from within line of sight) or Heal check (from within 5ft) opposed by the Gargoyle's Disguise check (which recieves a +10 bonus). The Gargoyle can use this ability to appear dead, and this is the most common use for this ability when outside of areas with an abundance of gargoyle statues.
Gargoyle should not be in blue. Fix that all over the place.
Does Deathwatch detect him as alive if he plays dead? I assume yes.
Improved Chiseled Armaments: Upon reaching third level the Gargoyle hones their body further, adding the following abilities to their list of Chiseled Armaments. Each ability can be taken only once unless specified otherwise.
Spoiler
Growth: The Gargoyle increases by one size category. This becomes two size categories at 14HD and three at 20HD. This ability cannot take the Gargoyle above Collosal.
Horrendous Visage: The Gargoyle gains a gaze attack with a range of 10ft+(5ft/2HD) which inflicts the shaken condition unless the target succeeds on a Will save (DC=5+Intimidate ranks). If the target succeeds on the save they are immune to that Gargoyle's Horrendous Visage for 24 hours. If they fail the save they are immune to the gaze's passive form unless they leave the area and re-enter. The Gargoyle can actively focus the gaze on a single target with a standard action, raising the DC by 2. At 14HD the condition inflicted is shaken or frightened, at the Gargoyle's option on successfully inflicting it. At 20HD the condition is shaken, frightened or panicked.
Water Bullets: The Gargoyle gains a breath weapon, usable once every 1d4 rounds. It is either a cone with a range of 10ft+5ft/HD or a line with a range of 20ft+10ft/HD. It deals 1d4 bludgeoning damage per HD (DC 10+1/2HD+Con mod Reflex save for half). At 14HD a Gargoyle can choose to push back any creature smaller than the Gargoyle that cannot make a Strength check (DC=10+1/2HD+Con mod) up to the edge of the breath weapon's range. At 20HD the damage improves to 2d4/HD and the breath weapon can be used every round (instead of every 1d4 rounds).
I dunno, 40d4 damage at 20th level? Lots of dice being rolled ... I'd change it to 1d6/2 HD, or maybe /3 HD, then change the damage to 1d8/3 HD at 20th if you want to keep that type of effect, and keep the recharge (maybe make it 1d4-1 minimum of 1). Can you apply metabreath feats to this? Also, it's bludgeoning, a big advantage over, say DFA or Dragon breaths, which opponents are commonly immune to. "At 14HD a Gargoyle can choose to push back any creature smaller than the Gargoyle that cannot make a Strength check (DC=10+1/2HD+Con mod) up to the edge of the breath weapon's range" is very clunky wording. Say "Your opponent must succeed on a strength check with a DC of 10+1/2 HD+Con mod or be pushed back up to the edge of the breath weapon's range.
Overwhelming Stench: The Gargoyle gains large growths on its body. Con mod times per day it may release a cloud of vapours with a radius of 5ft+5ft/HD, centered on itself. Creatures within the area must make a Fort save (DC 10+1/2HD+Con mod) or be sickened. The vapours disperse within one round, leaving a strong smell, but no actual effects. This is treated as a poison effect for the purposes of immunities. Any two of the Gargoyle's natural weapons may also inflict sickening, though the Fort save DC is reduced by 5 (becoming 5+1/2HD+Con mod). The Gargoyle is immune to its own stench. At 14HD the Gargoyle has its vapours constantly active, requiring a free action each round to suppress it. They also become immune to all poisons and diseases (including magical ones). At 20HD they may release vapours Con mod times per day which make creatures in the area nauseated. This effect is not added to natural weapons, nor is it subject to being constantly active, but works in all other ways as the sickening vapours.
Sickened is a very weak effect. I'd never take this over, say, Filthy Claws. And by 20 HD, no one's gonna be nauseated unless you're only fighting humanoids with class levels. And not even then most of the time.
Petrification: One of the Gargoyle's natural weapons gains the ability to petrify a foe it hits. The struck creature takes 1 Dex damage per round, each round receiving a Fort save to negate the effect (DC 10+1/2HD+Con mod). One successful Fort save stops all Dex damage from this effect. If struck multiple times with the petrifying weapon before the victim passes a Fort save the Dex damage increases by one per hit, though one successful save still negates all the damage. The creature struck gains one point of natural armour bonus for each point of Dex damage they have taken from this ability. At 14HD, the Dex damage per round per hit increases to 1d3, and a creature with a Dex of 0 or - takes Con damage from this ability equal to the Dex damage they would normally take (with a Fort save still negating damage). A creature dieing from Con damage from this ability is petrified. At 20HD the ability damage dealt by this ability increases to 1d6 and the Gargoyle becomes immune to petrification effects.
This is very confusingly worded. Does a single save remove all previous damage too? After the first save, are they immune to the Dex damage from this? For how long? Do they take 1/hit damage for the first hit, then 2/hit for the second on, then 3/hit for the third? Very confusing. If so, then why mention 1/hit at all? When it increases to 1d3, do they do multiple dice of damage/hit?
Carved Mobility: Also at third level, the Gargoyle gains access to one of the following abilities:
Spoiler
Carved Wings: They may gain a flight speed equal to their base land speed at clumsy maneuverability for up to (3+Con mod) rounds per day. These rounds need not be consecutive.
At 6HD there is no limit to the rounds the Gargoyle may spend in flight and the maneuverability improves to poor.
At 9HD their flight speed increases to twice their base land speed and their maneuverability increases to average.
Flight speed, good, fine, I like it.
OR
Streamlining: They gain a swim speed equal to their base land speed (with all the associated benefits) and gain Hold Breath, allowing them to hold their breath for a number of rounds equal to (8XCon mod).
At 6HD they gain the (Aquatic) subtype, allowing them to breathe water. This does not remove their ability to breathe air.
At 9HD their swim speed becomes equal to twice their base land speed. In addition, they gain the Jet ability. Once per hour they may make a charge or run action as a full-round action to swim at six times their swim speed. They must move at least 30ft when using this ability, but the movement they take does not provoke attacks of opportunity.
Swim speed, good, fine, I like it.
OR
Pick Claws: They gain a burrow speed of 10ft+5ft/2HD (to a maximum of their base land speed). This applies when digging through loose soil, sand, clay and substances of similar hardness. They do not leave a usable tunnel.
At 6HD their burrow speed increases to 15ft+5ft/HD (to a maximum of their base land speed). They may leave a usable tunnel by burrowing at half speed. This tunnel has a diameter equal to the Gargoyle's space.
At 9HD their base land speed for the purposes of their maximum burrow speed increases by 10ft. They may dig through substances with a hardness of at most (1/2 their HD + their Str mod) at full speed. They need not slow down to leave a usable tunnel.
Burrow speed, good, fine, I like it.
Statuesque Perfection: At level four their stone body reaches a perfected state. They choose any two abilities from the Chiseled Armaments, Stone Skin Fortifications or Carved Mobility lists (two total, not per list).
My problem with this is that it's a way to get a four die size increase to your natural weapons. Very powerful for a meleer.
Stone Cold Metabolism: Beginning at 4th level the Gargoyle can slow its metabolism to a crawl. Whilst in this state the Gargoyle is treated as an object with hitpoints equal to its normal maximum and a hardness of 4+HD. The Gargoyle becomes immune to effects which only affect creatures and vulnerable to effects which only affect objects. They automatically pass saves against disease and poison whilst in metabolic stasis. Whilst in metabolic stasis they are immune to poisons, bleeding, ability damage and drain, negative and positive energy damage, negative levels, death effects and diseases. Any ongoing effects which only affect creatures are suppressed whilst the Gargoyle is in metabolic stasis. Any ongoing effects which only affect objects are suppressed when the Gargoyle leaves metabolic stasis. In either of these cases they may take effect again if the Gargoyle returns to the appropriate state whilst the effect's duration remains. The Gargoyle does not age whilst in metabolic stasis, nor do they need to eat, drink or breathe. When they leave stasis they do not age an equivalent time or need to eat, drink or breathe for the time they were in stasis. The Gargoyle can use this ability a number of rounds each day equal to 2 X (their HD + their Con mod). These rounds need not be consecutive, but the Gargoyle must decide how many rounds they are using before the enter the state (minimum one round). This ability takes a full-round action to enter. This reduces to a standard action at 8HD, a move action at 12HD, a free action at 16HD and an Immediate action at 20HD.
The Gargoyle may enter stasis for longer than stated above, but they come out of the stasis after 1d6 days, weeks, months, years or decades (or even longer units of time, at the DM's discretion), at the Gargoyle's option, meaning this option is rarely used.
Good, I like this.
Comments/Changelog:
Spoiler
Comments By the time I got to Chiseled Path (Perfection) I knew why the previous people stopped. I may add more of those abilities later, but for now I'm happy with the class. No dead levels and I didn't have to resort to ability score bonuses (though I may add in some if the class is too weak). Complete overhaul of Chiseled Armaments (now every level), Stone Skin Fortifications (new effects) and Statuesque Perfection (which has been rolled into the other abilities). I'm quite happy with the variety now, and it is much better than when it started.
Changelog
14/12/10 - Fixed formatting.
14/12/10 - Added detail to Ambush Hunter and Stone Cold Metabolism. Changed names of all Chiseled Path abilities. Added a new option to Statuesque Perfection, Metabolic Redundancy.
23/12/10 - Large overhaul to many things (mostly Chiseled Armaments, Stone Skin Fortifications and Statuesque Perfection, as stated above).
Chiseled Armaments has far more abilties, as does Stone Skin Fortifications. Chiseled Armaments is now every level. Statuesque Perfection now gives additional choices from other menus, instead of having abilities itself. Stone Cold should be clarified now (at least I hope so).
Comments are in blue!
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Avatar by zimmerwald1915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Divide by Zero
Hulking Hurler can get something like (10^83)d6 damage, which is many orders of magnitude greater than the number of particles in the universe.
Skills Points at first Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) x 4 Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) Class Skills: The Cloaker’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Disguise (Cha), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Spot (Wis)
Proficiencies: The Cloaker is proficient only with its natural weapons.
Cloaker Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the cloaker.
Cloaker Body: The Cloaker loses all other racial traits and acquires aberration traits, giving it darkvision 60 ft. Cloakers begin as medium creatures with base land speed of 10 ft, a climb speed of 10 ft, a primary tail slap that deals 1d4+str damage and a secondary bite attack that deals 1d3+str damage. Cloakers get a natural armor bonus equal to their constitution modifier. Cloakers are treated as though they had a base land speed of 30 ft for the purposes of using the jump skill. Cloakers speak undercommon, and can perform fine manipulation with their tails, although not well enough to wield a weapon.
Cloakers lack the body parts to appropriately use magic items of the boot or cloak item slots, but a cloaker can consume up to two magic items of the cloak item slot and confer their benefits to itself and any character wearing the cloaker. The cloaker can regurgitate a cloak so consumed as a full-round action.
Engulf: A cloaker can try to wrap a creature at least one size category smaller than it in its body as a standard action. The cloaker attempts a grapple that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and bites the engulfed victim. The cloaker does not take the normal -4 penalty to attack rolls with its bite against creatures it has engulfed. It can still use its whiplike tail to strike at other targets.
Attacks that hit an engulfing cloaker deal half their damage to the monster and half to the trapped victim.
Engulfing Leap: As a full round action a cloaker can fly up to 40' in a straight line to a square adjacent to a target it could engulf and attempts to engulf them. Feats or abilities that enhance a charge attack can also enhance this action. This action must end in an engulf attempt.
At 3 HD this ability can be used to fly up to 60'.
At 6 HD it can be used to fly up to twice the cloaker's fastest movement speed or 80', whichever is greater.
Cloak: Cloakers bear an incredible resemblance to their namesake, and can use this resemblance to remain hidden. The cloaker may choose to be worn by a willing creature of its own size or one size category smaller or larger. While using this ability the cloaker enters the other creature's space and occupies space as though it where a creature of that size, it also gains a +10 bonus to disguise checks to appear as a normal cloak and has it's disguise checks opposed by knowledge(Arcana or dungeoneering) instead of spot. The cloaker uses up the other creature's cloak magic item slot and only counts as half its weight for the purposes of determining that creature's encumbrance. The cloaker can use it's tail whip as normal and can use spells or spell-like abilities with somatic components unhindered, but loses access to its bite attack. A cloaker with a fly speed can fly at half its normal speed and with its maneuverability reduced by one step, carrying the other creature with it. Carrying a medium or heavy load reduces this fly speed appropriately and the cloaker cannot fly if its companion would put it over a heavy load. Using it's abilities does not necessarily reveal it as a cloaker, most people will just assume that it is a magic cloak. Entering this state is a move action and leaving it is a swift action. Any ability referring to creatures wearing the cloaker refers to this ability.
Shadow Shift: Beginning at 2nd level the cloaker can manipulate shadows. While in shadowy areas the cloaker can use the following abilities:
Silent Image: The cloaker can use Silent image as a spell-like ability once per day per HD. Save DC 10 + 1/2HD+cha mod. At 5 HD this becomes at will.
Obscure Vision: A cloaker may use a swift action to grant concealment (20% miss chance) to itself and any creatures wearing it for 1d4 rounds once per day per 2 HD. At 10 HD this becomes at will.
Mirror Image: Beginning at 3 HD the cloaker can use mirror image as a spell-like ability once per day per 3 HD. The benefits of this spell also apply to any creature wearing the cloaker. At 12 HD this becomes at will.
Obscure Features: The cloaker can deepen or remove shadows near it's own body seeming to change the features of those who wear it. Any creature wearing the cloaker gets a bonus to disguise checks to appear as someone different equal to the cloaker's HD.
Improved Engulf: At third level the Cloaker becomes better at containing its foes. Engulf can now be used on creatures of the cloaker's size or smaller. Additionally, creatures the cloaker has engulfed are treated as flat-footed against the cloaker's bite attack, and its bite's damage increases to 1d6+str against creatures it has engulfed.
Mutual Defenses: When a creature wearing the cloaker is attacked the cloaker may choose to take up to a quarter of the damage dealt in the place of the other creature. Likewise, when the cloaker is attacked while being worn it may assign up to a quarter of the damage it is dealt to the other creature instead of itself.
Flight: Starting at fourth level the cloaker can fly at a speed of 40' with average maneuverability.
Moan: From fifth level cloakers gain the ability to emit a dangerous subsonic moan as a standard action. The cloaker can use these abilities a total number of times per day equal to its HD. Cloakers are immune to these sonic, mind affecting attacks as are creatures wearing a cloaker. Unless otherwise specified, a creature that successfully saves against one of these effects cannot be affected by the same moan from the same cloaker for 24 hours. All save DCs are 10+1/2HD+cha mod. The cloaker can cause four different effects:
Unnerve: Anyone within a 60-foot spread automatically takes a -2 penalty on attack and damage rolls. Those forced to hear the moan for more than 6 consecutive rounds must succeed on a Will save or enter a trance, unable to attack or defend themselves until the moaning stops. A cloaker who uses this moan may continue using it as a move action each round without expending additional daily uses. At 10 HD and every 5 HD thereafter the penalty increases by 1.
Fear: Anyone within a 30-foot spread must succeed on a Will save or become frightened for 2 rounds. At 8 HD they become panicked instead, and at 10 HD and every 5 HD thereafter the duration increases by 1 round.
Nausea: Anyone in a 30-foot cone must succeed on a Fortitude save or be overcome by nausea and weakness.
Affected characters become nauseated for 1d4+1 rounds, those who fail their saves by 5 or more also fall prone. At 10 HD and every 10 HD thereafter this moan's duration and saving throw DC increase by 1. At 15 HD, the cloaker may choose to use this moan (and only this moan) as though it was not a mind-affecting ability, but when it does so this moan is not affective against creatures that are immune to critical hits.
Stupor: Starting at 9 HD the cloaker can use its final moan. A single creature within 30 feet of the cloaker must succeed on a Fortitude save or be affected as though by a hold monster spell for 5 rounds. Even after a successful save, the creature must repeat the save if the cloaker uses this effect again. At 12 HD and every 3 HD thereafter the duration of this ability increases by 2 rounds.
Growth: A fifth level cloaker grows to large size. Its reach, grapple modifiers, natural attack damage and skills change accordingly, but it doesn't gain any ability score bonuses or penalties.
Comments/Changelog:
Spoiler
Comments
A classic monster with 5 levels and 4 major abilities, not terribly difficult. Still, it's my first homebrew, so there's probably something wrong with it.
Areas of concern:
Do engulfing leap and the ability to be carried give it enough maneuverability until it starts flying? should I up it's move speed?
Should the shadow shift abilities be at will right from the beginning? Should they never be at will? Is my current scheme the right idea but given at the wrong levels?
Should shadow shift become usable in any light? When?
Should Engulfing leap scale? When?
The nausea and stupor moans seem like they shouldn't be gained until a few HD later, but I have no idea when.
The cloaker has a lot of abilities keyed to Charisma, should I be giving boosts to that instead of/in addition to boosts to con and dex?
Spoiler
Changelog
January 10
Fixed typos
Added jump to skills
Assigned primary/secondary weapons
Added Climb speed and removed jump penalties
Modified Unnerve Moan
January 12
Reworded jump-penalty-remover
Renamed dancing images to mirror image
Weakened Nausea Moan
Delayed Stupor Moan to 9th level
January 30
Added thing about magic items.
Added Cloak
Made shadow shift abilities apply to creatures wearing the cloaker
Removed shadow shift "can use in any light" thing
Added obscure features
Added Mutual Defenses
Made it so moans don't affect creatures wearing the cloaker
January 31
Added languages.
Clarified Engulfing Leap and Cloak
February 12
Reworded Engulf
Added line to cloak and removed all "wearing cloaker through cloak silliness"
Made engulfing leap work in a straight line
Cloak's flight no longer works regardless of weight
Cloak can now be used on creatures a single size category larger
Class Skills: The Gargoyle
’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Disguise (Cha), Hide (Dex), Listen (Wis), Spot (Wis).
There's an accidental line break there, between Gargoyle and 's.
Proficiencies:
You from the UK? Funny spelling of armor.
Gargoyle Body:
You state, in two separate areas of the text, that the claws do 1d4 damage, and that they get +1.5 x Str mod to damage. I'd just say they do 1d4 + 1.5 x Str mod damage.
You state "their secondary natural weapons (if any) add (0.5 X Str mod)." -- This may cause conflicts in the text of any natural attacks you pick up (say, from Horrid Monster or Creature of Legend) which might have different values.
Why is their natural armor so low?
Chiseled Armaments:
"A Gargoyle's form is constantly chipped and repaired, each time becoming more powerful." -- This is confusing and weird. Who or what's repairing it? Why is it becoming more powerful?
Butchery:
I'm being nitpicky here, but there's concrete advantages to be gained through this, beyond the natural attack. Consider that I could take 'hoof', gain two legs, and get a bonus to avoid being tripped.
The name Butchery doesn't quite fit the granted ability.
Oversized Weapons:
You need to state what happens to the claw damage die/str bonus/attack roll if another natural attack takes over.
I don't like all the OR in the list. It's visually distracting and annoying. Look at how the Basilisk lists the options, by contrast?
Ability Boost:
We're striving to standardize monster entries in format. I encourage you to look at other recent monster entries and see how they handled/described stat boosts.
Stone Skin Fortifications:
The effects on natural weapons seems out of place, given what the abilities purport to do.
Zealous Carvings is perhaps too good. That's a big bonus to saves.
Runecarved Body: Perhaps a little unwieldy. The bonus to damage is so small as to barely matter.
Reflective Scales: Weak at early levels (You can pick it up at 2nd level, at which point it's just a hide bonus), offers a very small window of passable benefit (Mid levels) and is then useless as you approach higher level (Where half of the enemies you fight are going to be able to see through your invisibility without a sweat.).
Metabolic Redundancy: Weaksauce. Consider that the anti-critical chance is so small as to not matter for a long time, (4% at 2nd level? 40% at level 20?) and criticals don't happen ~that~ often, so it's only going to help you out once a level? Twice a level? Then figure it's really only going to save your life or swing a combat in your favor what, one in five times? It just won't come up often enough to matter, compared to stuff like DR or a good resistance.
Freeze:
Most intelligent foes, I imagine, are just going to coup de grace the 'dead' gargoyle.
Improved Chiseled Armaments:
Not sure I like growth giving you free growth by HD. Also, the flavor of a gargantuan gargoyle is... weird. It kind of runs against the flavor of the monster & several abilities (ie. Freeze).
Visage: "If they fail the save they are immune to the gaze's passive form unless they leave the area and re-enter." What's this? Passive form?
Overwhelming Stench:
I wouldn't make suppressing it a free action, or you get some weird stuff happening. Make it swift.
You contradict yourself, stating:
"Any two of the Gargoyle's natural weapons may also inflict sickening..."
and
"This effect is not added to natural weapons..."
-- Be clearer in your sentence structure.
Petrifaction, I don't like - it's a whole lot of extra book-keeping and stat tracking/changes over the course of a combat. More when you're rolling the stat damage each round.
Carved Mobility:
I'd honestly just give it flight. Swim speed is so situational, and not many people are going to take burrow. The latter two don't really fit the gargoyle, either.
Stone Cold Metabolism:
It shouldn't be anything lower than a move action, actionwise.
Going from a free action to an immediate action is a downgrade, pretty much.
As is, you can turn to stone in response to an incoming attack, at high levels.
Skills Points at 1rst Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) x 4 Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) Class Skills: The Cloaker’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Disguise (Cha), Hide (Dex), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Spot (Wis)
This might just be me but I hate stuff only getting 2+Int Mod skill points.
Proficiencies: The Cloaker is proficient only with its natural weapons.
Cloaker Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the cloaker.
Cloaker Body: The Cloaker loses all other racial traits and acquires aberration traits, giving it darkvision 60 ft. Cloakers begin as medium creatures with base land speed of 10 ft, a bite attack that deals 1d3+str damage and a tail slap that deals 1d4+str damage. Either the tail slap or the bite can be the Cloaker's primary weapon at a given point in time, but both can't be the primary weapon at the same time. Cloakers get a natural armor bonus equal to their constitution modifier.
Tail Slap is primary in the SRD, why the choice here? Too slow, make it 20ft.
Cloakers are virtually indistinguishable from a normal black cloak, they gain a +10 on disguise checks to appear as a normal cloak, and may choose to count as only half their weight for the purposes of calculating encumbrance f worn.
Engulf: A cloaker can try to wrap a creature at least one size category smaller than it in its body as a standard action. The cloaker attempts a grapple that does not provoke an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and bites the engulfed victim with a +4 bonus on its attack roll. It can still use its whiplike tail to strike at other targets.
Attacks that hit an engulfing cloaker deal half their damage to the monster and half to the trapped victim.
Engulfing Leap: As a full round action a cloaker can fly up to 40' at a target and attempt to engulf them. Feats or abilities that enhance a charge attack can also enhance this action.
At 3 HD this ability can be used to fly up to 60'.
At 6 HD it can be used to fly up to twice the cloaker's fastest movement speed or 80', whichever is greater.
Shadow Shift: Beginning at 2nd level the cloaker can manipulate shadows. While in shadowy areas the cloaker can use the following abilities:
Silent Image: The cloaker can use Silent image as a spell-like ability once per day per HD. Save DC 10 + 1/2HD+cha mod. At 5 HD this becomes at will.
Obscure Vision: A cloaker may use a swift action to gain concealment for 1d4 rounds once per day per 2 HD. At 10 HD this becomes at will.
Dancing Images: At 4 HD the cloaker can use mirror image as a spell-like ability once per day per 3 HD. At 12 HD this becomes at will.
At 8 HD these abilities can be used regardless of lighting conditions.
Improved Engulf: At third level the Cloaker becomes better at containing its foes. Engulf can now be used on creatures of the cloaker's size or smaller. Also, the cloaker's bite can now be used to make iterative attacks against any foe the cloaker is grappling while it is a primary weapon.
Flight: Starting at fourth level the cloaker can fly at a speed of 40' with average maneuverability.
Moan: From fifth level cloakers gain the ability to emit a dangerous subsonic moan as a standard action. The cloaker can use these abilities a total number of times per day equal to its HD. Cloakers are immune to these sonic, mind affecting attacks. Unless otherwise specified, a creature that successfully saves against one of these effects cannot be affected by the same moan from the same cloaker for 24 hours.
Dislike the 24 hour part, unnecessary since they already get a Save.
All save DCs are 10+1/2HD+cha mod. The cloaker can cause for different effects:
Unnerve: Anyone within a 60-foot spread automatically takes a -2 penalty on attack and damage rolls. Those forced to hear the moan for more than 6 consecutive rounds must succeed on a Will save or enter a trance, unable to attack or defend themselves until the moaning stops.
Make it only enemies. 6 rounds is a really long time, maybe 3?
Fear: Anyone within a 30-foot spread must succeed on a Will save or become panicked for 2 rounds.
Nausea: Anyone in a 30-foot cone must succeed on a Fortitude save or be overcome by nausea and weakness.
Affected characters fall prone and become nauseated for 1d4+1 rounds.
Stupor: A single creature within 30 feet of the cloaker must succeed on a Fortitude save or be affected as though by a hold monster spell for 5 rounds. Even after a successful save, the creature must repeat the save if the cloaker uses this effect again.
Growth: A fifth level cloaker grows to large size. Its reach, grapple modifiers, natural attack damage and skills change accordingly, but it doesn't gain any ability score bonuses or penalties.
Comments/Changelog:
Spoiler
Comments
A classic monster with 5 levels and 4 major abilities, not terribly difficult. Still, it's my first homebrew, so there's probably something wrong with it.
Areas of concern:
Do engulfing leap and the ability to be carried give it enough maneuverability until it starts flying? should I up it's move speed?
Should the shadow shift abilities be at will right from the beginning? Should they never be at will? Is my current scheme the right idea but given at the wrong levels?
The nausea and stupor moans seem like they shouldn't be gained until a few HD later, but I have no idea when.
The cloaker has a lot of abilities keyed to Charisma, should I be giving boosts to that instead of/in addition to boosts to con and dex?
Spoiler
Changelog
Nothing yet
Minimal comments, for what they're worth.
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Zenith Caste Solarbold-Bard by Lord Raziere. | Backer #121 of the Giantitp Kickstarter | My homebrew
Quote:
Originally Posted by OverlordJ
New law: Obey me or you'll be crushed by a MOUNTAIN.
I ship you/Anyone./Infernal Gardevoir from outside the playground, by Recaiden//ExtendedSig
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thanqol
It's not normal, of course, and what's actually happening in Comet Kicker's brain is that she's using regular murder as therapy for worse murder. There's a breakdown in the works and all it needs is one good, hard kick.
This might just be me but I hate stuff only getting 2+Int Mod skill points.
The original monster had 4 skills with listed modifiers and +2 int, I may increase it if shown a reason they need more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard
Tail Slap is primary in the SRD, why the choice here? Too slow, make it 20ft.
The choice is because they later gain an ability to make iterative attacks with their bite and it seemed wierd to have them doing that with a secondary weapon. I realize it may well be too slow, I gave it engulfing leap and the ability to be carried more easily in an attempt to offset that, do you think it can be made workable through those abilities(possibly modified) or is the only way to have it not fail completely a speed boost?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard
Dislike the 24 hour part, unnecessary since they already get a Save.
The once every 24 hours thing is standard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobold-Bard
Make it only enemies. 6 rounds is a really long time, maybe 3?
The first part is probably a good idea, the second I'm not so sure about, it seems like the sort of thing you use when you have some sort of tactical advantage to stop them from hitting you, not an every combat thing. (I probably should let them continue doing it without using additional uses though.)
I'll probably wait until I've gotten a few more comments then change things all at once, Anyone else?
Skills Points at 1st Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) x 4 Skills Points at Each Level: (2+Intelligence Modifier) Class Skills: The Remorhaz’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), Swim (Str)
Proficiencies: A Remorhaz gains proficiency with its natural weapons, but with no armor or shields.
Remorhaz Class Features: The following are the Class Features of the Remorhaz.
Remorhaz Body: The Remorhaz loses all racial traits, and gains Magical Beast traits(basically Darkvision 60 ft and Low-light Vision). The Remorhaz is a medium magical beast, with a long, many-legged, segmented body, and the reach of a long creature of its size category. It has a base land speed of 30 ft, a bite attack that deals 1d10+ 1.5*STR damage, Tremorsense 15 ft.(Which increases to 30 ft at 5th level, and 60 ft at 10th level), and natural armor equal to its CON modifier.
A Remorhaz lacks the limbs for fine manipulation, and cannot use weapons or shields. A Remorhaz can understand speech, but without much practice(requiring the expenditure of two skill points) it cannot speak. Otherwise, someone who has been in the Remorhaz’s company for a week can understand its body language and natural noises enough to recognize basic emotions and needs such as ‘danger’, ‘hunger’, and ‘gratitude’.
I like this part
Ability Score Increases: A Remorhaz gains +1 Strength every level of the class, and +1 Constitution at 3rd and 6th level, for a total of +7 Strength, and +2 Constitution.
Whoah there, maybe scale back the strength bonus a bit?
Rush: A Remorhaz can make a devastating lunge to toss enemies about like rag dolls. As the end of a charge, a Remorhaz can declare a Rush instead of a normal attack, which deals 1d10+ 2*STR damage(bludgeoning). This attack gains the normal bonuses and penalties of a charge. If the attack hits, the Remorhaz can immediately attempt a bull-rush. If the result would move the opponent more then 5 ft, the Remorhaz does not need to follow them.
Hmmm, ok, I guess this could work.
Heat: Beginning at 2nd level, an enraged Remorhaz produces a wave of heat that sears anything near it. As a swift action, a Remorhaz can activate his heat aura, dealing 2d6 points of fire damage to creatures that attack it for a number of rounds equal to 5+Con modifier. This damage increases by 1d6 every two levels, becoming 3d6 at 4th level, 4d6 at 6th level, etc. Only creatures that successfully attack the Remorhaz with an unarmed strike or natural weapon are subject to this damage. The Remorhaz can use this abilty 1/day/3HD(minimum 1), and is fatigued for a number of rounds equal to the rounds spent using Heat.
Maybe some re-wording here. I think you mean "As a swift action, a Remorhaz can activate his heat aura, which lasts for a number of rounds equal to 5+Con modifier. Anything touching the Remorhaz takes 2d6 points of fire damage. Creatures striking a Remorhaz with natural attacks or unarmed attacks are subject to this damage, but creatures striking with melee weapons do not take damage from the remorhaz’s heat. The damage increases by 1d6 every two levels, becoming 3d6 at 4th level, 4d6 at 6th level, etc. The Remorhaz can use this abilty 1/day/3HD(minimum 1), and is fatigued for a number of rounds equal to the rounds spent using Heat."
I'm not sure I agree with the Remorhaz being fatigued for so long after using Heat. Also, you need to note what action it takes to end Heat.
At 6 HD, any weapon that strikes the Remorhaz is subject to being destroyed by the sheer heat of the Remorhaz’s blood. Any melee weapon that strikes the Remorhaz must make a Fortitude save DC (10+1/2 HD+ Con modifier) or be destroyed. Weapons with an enhancement bonus equal to or greater then 1/4 the Remorhaz's HD are not subject to this effect.
At 11 HD, any creature that strikes the Remorhaz with a melee weapon that does not have reach is subject to Heat damage. Also, the Remorhaz is no longer fatigued after using Heat.
At 16 HD, anytime a creature does piercing or slashing damage to the Remorhaz, anyone nearby is subject to a spray of superheated bodily fluids, dealing Heat damage to any creature in a 15ft cone(starting at the creature striking the Remorhaz, and extending directly away from the Remorhaz), with a reflex save DC (10+ 1/2HD+ Con modifier) for half damage.
Ambush: Beginning at 2nd level, a Remorhaz becomes an expert at not only catching creatures off guard, but knocking them down to never get up again. When a Remorhaz strikes a creature that is denied its dexterity bonus to AC, it knocks the creature prone unless it makes a Fort save DC (10+1/2HD+Str modifier). Any stability or relative size modifiers grant their bonuses to this save.
Not so sure about this ability...
Flexible: Starting from 3rd level, the Remorhaz cannot be knocked down and may constrict itself through spaces as though it were one size category smaller. In addition, should the Remorhaz increase in size to such a point that they occupy multiple spaces (likely by way of the Growth class feature, below, and/or magical effects), the Remorhaz may forego their usual 5 foot step to reconfigure the positioning of their body, changing from occupying a square shaped space to an irregular section of ground. Remorhaz who use do this must maintain the same total number of spaces (a Remorhaz with 10' space is 4 tiles) and each occupied space must have a horizontal or vertical connection to another part of the Remorhaz.
I like the idea, but when would it want to occupy irregular shaped spaces?
Lurker: Starting at 3rd level, the Remorhaz can shuffle itself into the ground like a giant stingray, lying in wait for its prey. When standing on ice or earth, the Remorhaz can bury its entire body as a full-round action. This grants the Remorhaz cover, and a +4 bonus to Hide checks. However, movement is extremely restricted, and the Remorhaz can only move 5ft as a full round action.
At 6 HD, a Remorhaz gains a burrow speed of 10 ft through earth and ice.
At 9 HD, this burrow speed improves to 20 ft.
I'd give burrow 10' at 5th level, and burrow 20' at 7th level, but that's just me.
Cobra Strike: Beginning at 4th level, a Remorhaz can choose to stretch its body out when it attacks, extending its natural reach by 5 ft for one round. However, this leaves the main body open to attacks, imposing a -2 penalty to AC.
Say until the beginning of its next turn to be clearer about when it ends. Also, I'd make the extended reach depend upon HD somehow, and the penalty to AC dependent on how far it extends the reach.
Toss: At 4th level, the Remorhaz becomes a master at throwing his opponents exactly where it wants them. When a Remorhaz succeeds at a bull rush attempt, it can now choose to push the opponent 5ft sideways or up for every 5ft he is shoved backwards.
Is this in addition to, or in place of, moving the 5' backwards?
Growth: At 5th level, the Remorhaz grows from medium to large size, gaining size modifiers, reach, and increasing the damage of its natural attack as appropriate, but without changing its ability scores.
At 12th level, the Remorhaz becomes Huge sized.
At 19th level, the Remorhaz becomes Gargantuan.
Swallow Whole: A Remorhaz of 5th level or higher can swallow an opponent that it is grappling. To do this, it must succeed on another grapple check (as if to pin the opponent). If successful, it swallows the foe, delivering bite damage as it goes. Opponents to be swallowed must be at least one size category smaller than the Remorhaz.
Swallowed foes are crushed each round, taking the same damage they would from a bite (but as blunt damage) and suffering from Heat damage. To escape, they must cut their way out through the worm's gizzard. To do so, they must attack with a light/natural slashing weapon and deliver at least 25 points of damage to the gizzard. The gizzard has an AC of (10+ 1/2 Natural armor). Once the creature escapes, muscular action closes the hole, and any creatures which are later swallowed have to cut their own exit.
Note that they take Heat damage even if the Remorhaz isn't currently using the Heat ability.
Pyroclastic Belch: At 6th level, a Remorhaz learns to use its superheated interior to create its own flaming projectiles. As a standard action, a Remorhaz that is within reach of a surface made of ice, dirt, or stone can scoop up some of that surface in its mouth and project it as a devastating attack. If the surface is ice, then the result is a cone of steam (HD*10ft) long, and dealing (HD*1d6) fire damage. If the surface is dirt or stone, then the result is a glob of molten lava that works as a ranged touch attack with a (HD*15ft) range increment, and deals (HD*1d6) damage, half of which is fire damage, the other half is bludgeoning damage.
I like this, it seems fun, but the range increment needs to be scaled down a bit, and it needs a recharge time.
Improved Grab: A Remorhaz of 7th level or higher that lands a bite attack on an opponent can immediately initiate a grapple without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it seizes the victim in its jaws and may attempt to swallow whole the following round.
Firey Surge: At 7th level, a Remorhaz becomes a rampaging creature of burning power. If a Remorhaz successfully attacks a creature at the end of a charge, it can pour its rage and inner heat into an enormous blast of superheated air. This deals fire damage equal to its Heat damage in a (1/3HD*5'ft) radius of the creature struck, with any creature other then that creature entitled to a reflex save DC (10+ 1/2HD+ Con modifier) for half damage. The creature struck, and any that fail reflex saves are also subject to being moved back to the edge of the radius, taking 1d6 damage for each 10ft moved. If a solid surface prevents the creature from moving any further, it takes another 1d6 points of damage as it strikes the surface. This movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity. The Remorhaz can use this ability 1/day/5HD.
Since it's pretty limited uses per day, I guess it's fine.
All in all, a good first attempt. Some things need tweaking, but you captured the essence of a Remorhaz, and given it some unique abilities to up their game.
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For the Remorhaz, I'd make Ambush work, rather than as an ill-defined Fort save (what kind of bonus would "stable" creatures get?) you make it work as part of a bull rush maneuver.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Divide by Zero
Hulking Hurler can get something like (10^83)d6 damage, which is many orders of magnitude greater than the number of particles in the universe.
Re: Remhoraz, or however you spell it, I love how it is getting all this feedback on abilities that the Purple Worm had first (and which were never commented on).
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