Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
...No, I don't know why this is so popular either.
Hi! Welcome to the SIXTH thread of Murphy's Law! As you can probably guess, I'm making an OOTS-style webcomic. It's comedic, yet with an ongoing, in-depth storyline. It starts out with a multiclass Fighter/Paladin named Lloyd Zephyr looking to organize an adventuring party, and quickly mushrooms from there into something much bigger...
BONUS: Oh! In case you didn't know, I'm originally from the Crack Pairings Thread. So, I love it when people do crack pairings and stuff of this comic! In fact, I'll post it on here! Just make sure that it obeys board rules and the like, okay?
“And that is all I’m going to say about it,” Matt cut him off flatly.
“Whatever,” said Lloyd, looking at Matt’s weasel-inflicted wounds critically, “You should probably go get Janine to heal you.”
“Can’t paladins heal?” Matt asked, not sure where Janine was and in no mood to search for her while every scratch on his body was still smarting.
“The technique’s called ‘Lay on Hands’,” Lloyd replied neutrally.
“Oh,” said Matt. A few seconds of silence passed. “This sucks,” he added in a grumble.
“More than max security?” Lloyd asked as a reminder.
“No,” said Matt darkly, staring broodingly into the middle distance.
---
It was two years ago, back when he was just learning how to get away with things and had recently tried to put a red streak in his hair. The hair was a minor fiasco—he’d bleached first and the red dye wasn’t strong enough, leaving the streak an embarrassingly pretty purplish pink; maybe he should try blue next time—but he was getting to be a really good rogue. Or so he thought.
In retrospect he realized that he probably shouldn’t have been so cocky—after all it was already the sixth time he’d been caught stealing and he’d only been at it a few months—but back in those days he’d felt like he could do anything, like he was untouchable. Sure, he’d gotten thrown in the local jailhouse once or twice, but those cells were a joke; he watched a party full of Level 2 adventures with not a rogue among them break out in ten minutes flat once. Of course, those were the lowest security cells, not max. He didn’t know yet that when they threw you in max, you weren’t getting yourself out any time soon unless you were epic level or something.
That day, the day he got caught for the sixth time, they threw him in max.
“I really am sorry, kid,” the warden had told him grimly, “But today we got three adventuring parties filled with chaotic types who thought they’d found the second easiest way to get some extra gps; the cells are packed, so you’re going to have to go in max.”
“Whatever,” Matt muttered.
A little annoyed by the boy’s indifference, the warden added, “Just so you know, your cell mate got life for massacring a relatively peaceful group of kobold merchants for the XP and…” He gulped. “Accessorizing opportunities.”
“Whatever,” Matt repeated. Wait a minute, what about accessorizing?
“He gets violent when we try to remove things from his cell,” he went on, now honestly angered by the boy’s lack of interest, “Such as the beheaded corpses of former cell mates…”
“What do you mean--” Matt began to ask, a little panicked, before regaining his cool. “You’re making that up just to scare me.”
“If only,” the warden said with a sigh, “I suggest you just try to have a conversation with him; some say the solitude’s made him snap. Ah, here we are.”
At first Matt thought his cellmate was a kobold. Then, gagging, he realized what the warden had meant by “accessorizing opportunities”.
“How’s it going, Killer?” the warden asked with false joviality.
Clutching a human skull pointed at the warden, the filthy Halfling shrieked, “Fireball! Fireball now, or I’ll give you something to Fear you worthless undead piece of crap!”
“This is your new roomie!” the warden continued, forcing himself to smile in the hope that the Halfling would calm down, “His name is Matthew Silver.”
Matt was too terrified to correct him.
While the Halfling did something partially hidden but, Matt feared, definitely obscene to the skull that wouldn’t obey his commands, the warden very quickly unlocked the cell, shoved Matt in, and relocked it.
“I really am sorry,” the warden told Matt again, “If one of those parties breaks out, I’ll get you out of here pronto, but…” He glanced at the Halfling. “It’d be a lie to tell you anything but this: From here it can only get worse.”
He left Matt alone with this thought. And the delusional, psychopathic Halfling.
It took several minutes for the Halfling to get bored with… what he was doing with the skull, but once he did, he took an immediate interest in Matt.
“You don’t look like max security material,” he told the boy smugly, “I guess without the Belkster out there to show ‘em how it’s done, the standards are dropping.”
Matt could manage nothing but a deer-in-the-headlights expression. At this point he was so scared he was barely even breathing.
To his wide-eyed horror, the Halfling began to approach him, picking up a severed head that was lying on the floor by its silvery hair on the way.
“Let’s get a few things straight,” the murderer said, “When they bring the grub in, your plate goes to Mr. Scruffy.” He began stroking the hair on the head affectionately. “Of course none of the stuff here’s good enough for his carnivore tastes, but he’s gotta eat eventually, and when he finally gets hungry enough, he is not going to starve on your account. Got it, wuss?”
Matt managed a nod. Living to see suppertime would be blessing enough. Glances around the room had let him count six different heads, and worryingly he’d only been able to spot four of the respective bodies…
“You really are a wuss, you know? You really shouldn’t be here…” As if too distracted by this revelation to hold his concentration on other things, the Halfling dropped the head known as “Mr. Scruffy.” He stared at Matt. For a long time.
“Aha!” Before Matt had time to realize anything was happening, the Halfling had him pinned to the ground and was yanking on a lock of his hair.
“Thought you could get a way with that?” the Halfling raved. The hand that wasn’t gripping Matt’s hair began fishing around in his grubby pockets for something. “Oh… I’ll do you for that, you androgynous twit…”
“Wh-what?!” Matt sputtered. Through the haze of pain the hair-pulling was spreading through his skull, he thought that the victimized hair might be that stupid attempt at a red streak, not that that was even remotely important right now…
“Come off it, Ears,” the lunatic snapped, yanking what appeared to be a sharpened spoon out of his pocket, “Your friggin’ lame disguise has failed epicly.” His eyes gleamed. “Then again, you always were one for epic failure, weren’t ya, pal?”
“What are you talking about?” Matt asked desperately. And, what did he mean by “Ears”? His voice now laced with disgust, he added, “You think I’m an elf?”
“I said come off it,” the Halfling repeated sharply. Then, to Matt’s surprise, he let go of his hair and his expression softened. “I guess I should’ve stopped bringing it up, after you told us everything that happened, but it was just too good; you finally admitted you screwed up.”
“Oh, I see,” Matt snarled, “An arrogant prick of an elf. Why you--”
“It was worth it, too,” the Halfling continued, now mostly ignoring Matt, “When you just kept blowing stuff up, especially when Roy was throwing hissy fits all the time because we wouldn’t knock it off. But then,” now his face flushed with rage, “You frickin’ set me up in this dump of a town with a frickin’ epic level prison!” He refocused his gaze on Matt. “And of course you had to come back and gloat,” he added, his voice cold.
“Dude,” said Matt, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, and I’m not an elf! I hate elves!”
“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”
“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.
Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”
---
One of the adventuring parties did break out eventually, and the warden came to move Matt to another cell as he promised, in the nick of time, at that. Whenever Matt looked back on the whole incident (usually after waking up from a graphic nightmare) he shuddered to think what might have happened had he been left in there longer, but nonetheless wished that he could have been moved sooner.
In the weeks following his stay in prison Matt improved as a rogue very quickly. Before it’d been all about the loot but now he’d learned to focus on not getting caught. He decided he was never going to prison again and would do whatever it took to stay out of maximum security.
---
“Did you just have a flashback?” Lloyd asked Matt accusingly.
“Yeah,” said Matt, “Got a problem with that?”
“I’m the main character and I’ve already hinted at a dark and interesting backstory,” Lloyd said hotly, “I’m supposed to get the first flashback!”
Matt smirked. From here it could only get better.
Spoiler
“Nice try, Ears,” said the Halfling, “But you really should have chosen a disguise that looked like it actually belonged in max security.” With a disturbing suddenness, the Halfling grinned. “Since you obviously can’t break out of this cell anymore than I can… Do you know what they do to pretty, purple-haired little elf-boys like you in prison, Vaarsuvius?”
“It’s Matt,” Matt spat, but his face was paling.
Brandishing the lethally sharp spoon, the madman said, “Because I’m about to show you.”
“Nooooooo!” Matt cried upon abruptly waking, sitting straight up. Rubbing his eyes, he said gruffly but a little sheepishly, “Sorry, I know that’s one of the most annoying clichés in the book, but…” He looked around him. All three of the other adventurers were still asleep. “Okay… Nevermind.” Shuddering a little and trying to push the nightmare out of his thoughts, he slowly lied back down.
“Mmm… Glad you think so Lloyd… Now come here…”
“What?” Matt sat back up, looking around himself again. Everyone was still asleep. He glanced at Lloyd. Nope, definitely not doing anything to Janine. He glanced at Janine—
“Oh, Lloyd, I think I’m wounded…”
“Wounded?” Matt repeated, raising an eyebrow. He’d never heard that one before.
“You must Lay Hands on me…”
Oh. That made sense. He should’ve seen that one coming, really. As Janine’s words dissolved into little moans that made him uncomfortable on multiple levels, he lied back again, muttering, “Who seriously talks in their sleep anyway?” and tried to go back to sleep.
“Let me show you another use for Water Drops…”
Water Drops? Matt frowned. Weren’t those those little pills wizards could make out of water that released mouthfuls of water when you chewed on them?
“That’s right, put it there…”
“What the…?” Matt murmured.
“Now squeeze… Ah!”
“Is she…?”
“Mmm… You know, if you’re Good…” There was a little snorting sound that might have been Janine giggling, “The water tastes sweet… Oh, yes…”
“Oh, no…” Matt said with a grunt, rolling over and clutching his stomach. He did not want to hear this.
“I also know another use for—”
“Gah!” Matt cried, clapping his hands over his ears. How am I going to get back to sleep with this show playing in the background? Well, he couldn’t hear her with his hands over his ears, at least. Okay. I can do this… He started taking deep breaths in an attempt to make himself fall asleep faster while keeping his hands over his ears. Though this method wasn’t quite as efficient as he’d hoped for it to be, after about half an hour he felt himself drifting off. His arms relaxed has he sunk into a peaceful slumber, his hands gently falling away from his ears…
“Oh, Lloyd, I didn’t know you were a sorcerer…”
“Huh…?” Matt muttered sleepily.
“There really are a lot of uses for Prestidigitation… Mmm…”
Ba-dum, ting! Matt’s half-dreaming mind supplied for that one liner as he let out a moan of protest. He tried to sit up again, but realized he was already falling asleep, Janine’s words weaving themselves into his dreams…
---
“Nooooo!” Matt cried out again, awaking while sitting bolt upright for the second time that night. Taking deep breaths to calm himself down, he looked around to find that once again he’d failed to wake up the other three adventurers. It wouldn’t have been all that bad, he mused, wiping the cold sweat from his brow, if there hadn’t been so much… Lloyd. After shooting a glare at the now innocently silent Janine, he lied back and was asleep within minutes.
---
Remus raised his head to make his best you-should-feel-guilty sad eyes at the screaming human but to no avail; the little punk didn’t even glance at him. Apparently no one cares if they wake up just a dog in the middle of the night. As Matt went back to sleep, Remus put his own head back down with a self-righteous sniff, but raised it again after a few seconds.
Remus heard a sound. It sounded like an animal sound, but it wasn’t a familiar sound. A weird tp-tp-tp-tp-tping was prowling in a circle around them. The dog scanned the forest as best as he could, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. It was hard to tell now that Radic’s friend had started muttering in her sleep again, but after a few seconds it sounded like the tp-tping had stopped. This didn’t make Remus feel any better. Whining a little, he nudged Radic’s arm with his nose.
---
“Urg, Remus…” Radic groaned, batting her companion’s cold nose away from her, “What is it?”
Remus whined and poked her arm with his nose again.
“Okay, okay,” said Radic, sitting up and scratching him behind an ear, “What’s wrong, boy?”
“Mmrr… Lloyd,” Janine murmured, “You can… Desecrate my temple… Anyday…”
“Well that’s nothing new,” said Radic, playing with Remus’ ears, “Did she wake you up?”
Remus sniffed a little and let out another whimper.
“Northern ambush… Gnnh…” Lloyd was muttering, a sheen of sweat shining on his face.
“Oh,” said Radic, glancing over at him, “Poor guy… Wonder what’s going on in there?”
---
Remus settled down with a sigh while Radic sat down near the boy with a horse, stroking his hair occasionally and whispering little sympathetic phrases. It was just his luck that when he tries to warn her about possible danger, she decides she wants to get a head start on mating with something just because it looked pitiful when it slept. Oh well, he still hadn’t heard any more tp-tping, so maybe they were safe after all.
---
Lloyd seemed to be sleeping more peacefully now, and even though the way his face looked so smooth and elegant in the moonlight made Radic feel warm and giddy inside, at last she decided it was time she got back to sleeping too. As she drifted off next to a a sleeping Remus, oblivious to a faint tp-tp-tping sound approaching the camp from a distance, she decided that this was going to be the best campaign ever.
Stuff by Asta Kask
Spoiler
Lloyd looked at the other warrior. He was everything Lloyd admired in a man - self-confident, experienced, tough... yet there was a touch of sadness around him. A feeling that things weren't the way they were supposed to be.
"So, you've been adventuring with these for how long?"
"Oh, we're just starting out. We're looking for a dragon."
The other warrior nodded. He asked a few more questions, and without really knowing how it happened Lloyd suddenly realized he had told the other warrior much more than he intended. Even about Janine...
"I mean, it's like all she wants is sex. Yeah, that's important, but I want something more than that. I want a relationship, and it feels like she'll just go off in search of the next conquest five minutes after she's had me."
"Yes," said the other warrior. "I understand. But let me tell you something - I'm in a relationship with a sylph right now. She's a great girl, but being away from her for so long... you get the itch, y'know. Like this..."
The other warrior leaned over and kissed Lloyd softly on the mouth. Lloyd tensed up at first, then relaxed. He had never dreamt that being kissed by a man could be so wonderful. A whirlpool of emotions welled up inside him and drowned all thoughts of the quests, all thoughts of Janine, all thoughts...
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
It Keeps Going and Going and...
Yay! New Thread, the series continues!
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Last edited by Chilingsworth : 02-02-2011 at 10:07 PM.
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asta Kask
I don't think we're allowed to do crack pairings. I would seriously clear that with the mods first. If you have, please disregard this post.
You do know that stuff has been in the first post in all 6 threads, yes? If she was gonna get in trouble for it she already would have. Besides, It's mostly all fanart anyway. I think the few stories are left from when that was allowed.
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Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Ha, wow. Thanks, guys. Oh! I'm really busy tomorrow (Today), so I've spend the past several days working on this comic. Lots of little details, as you'll see! This is the Friday update
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnath
I like the sort of random makeout session happening largely unnoticed in the back of the room, it's funny.
It's a bar. It's a drunk couple making out. I don't see what there is to notice. Pretty normal stuff, unless these are characters with connections to the group we don't know about yet.
The whole comic made me . When did Lloyd decide he can't adventure with them anymore? When did anyone suggest that they not adventure with him, besides Serrin and after they were being talked down? Did I forget something?
And what about the thing that happened with the bandits? Didn't Radic know about that already?
Any way, time to play the opposing viewpoint, <laterant>the only thing I saw at the bandit camp was Lloyd literally letting some bandit's get away with murder with absolutely NO consequences. He gets a few points for being pragmatic - killing them until they surrendered and then NOT simply taking their word for it, but restraining them after they surrendered. There was also that nice line about the thing about second chances - you don't get a third one.
But they killed Sterrence the halfling, something that Lloyd and everyone else seemed to forget. Sure, he got raised, but their other marks might not have been so lucky. They were just trying to survive? Then why not steal food or whatever you can WITHOUT killing? In the end, the surviving bandits served no jailtime and got off with a warning for murder, solely because they had a nice sob story to feed him. Worst of all, Lloyd paints the priest who would suspect they WOULDN'T just suddenly change their lifestyle as the bad guy. "I'm one of the GOOD paladins and I trust you, but you'll need a Mark of Justice to satisfy this horrible, judgmental, ignoramus."
I wonder how Sterrence would react to seeing his killer walking around after Lloyd assured him the problem was taken care of.</endlaterant>
What's Janine's look? Guilt about her brother? Guilt about everyone staring at her for having the audacity to condemn the murder of Saalblaze?
Despite what this rant looks like, I like Murphy's Law.
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray
Any way, time to play the opposing viewpoint, <laterant>the only thing I saw at the bandit camp was Lloyd literally letting some bandit's get away with murder with absolutely NO consequences. He gets a few points for being pragmatic - killing them until they surrendered and then NOT simply taking their word for it, but restraining them after they surrendered. There was also that nice line about the thing about second chances - you don't get a third one.
But they killed Sterrence the halfling, something that Lloyd and everyone else seemed to forget. Sure, he got raised, but their other marks might not have been so lucky. They were just trying to survive? Then why not steal food or whatever you can WITHOUT killing? In the end, the surviving bandits served no jailtime and got off with a warning for murder, solely because they had a nice sob story to feed him. Worst of all, Lloyd paints the priest who would suspect they WOULDN'T just suddenly change their lifestyle as the bad guy. "I'm one of the GOOD paladins and I trust you, but you'll need a Mark of Justice to satisfy this horrible, judgmental, ignoramus."
I wonder how Sterrence would react to seeing his killer walking around after Lloyd assured him the problem was taken care of.</endlaterant>
Huh.
Yeah, it doesn't sound entirely fair that Terrence got murdered and nobody was punished for it, does it?
I've not looked back at the archive but I seem to remember the bandit group lost a few guys too during this raid, so in that sense they lost something although it does seem strange that they wouldn't have been at least specifically reprimanded about killing Terrence.
My best guess is that you hit the nail on the head when you said "Then why not steal food or whatever you can WITHOUT killing?". Perhaps this was what they'd intended to do but Terrence caught them unawares and then the fight broke out. He fought back - a lot - so they didn't come along and pick him off when he wasn't looking so they could nick the stuff. I guess the idea was that Terrence saw them, challenged them and started the fight, then the Plavaan responded and ultimately killed him in 'self defence'. That idea would mean that they had never set out to kill anybody during that raid although it would have been a lot better if they could have just subdued him, especially since they took the diamonds. In that scenario Terrence's death would be more excusable but it would still be slightly odd if it wasn't even mentioned by Team Gale. I guess in the end though Terrence got a resurrection, I don't think the bandits who he and his animal companion killed did.
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Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raging Gene Ray
It's a bar. It's a drunk couple making out. I don't see what there is to notice. Pretty normal stuff, unless these are characters with connections to the group we don't know about yet.
In the last panel they seem to be going for Fourth Base. That does not usually happen in the bars I frequent. Perhaps I go to the wrong bars.
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Last edited by Asta Kask : 02-04-2011 at 06:03 AM.
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asta Kask
In the last panel they seem to be going for Fourth Base. That does not usually happen in the bars I frequent. Perhaps I go to the wrong bars.
Naaah, if that were the case, there'd be clothing removal. It's just intense making out. THAT ISN'T TO SAY however, that it couldn't quickly turn into that.
I for one am glad she has been including more background noise in the comic.
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Last edited by ZerglingOne : 02-04-2011 at 06:33 AM.
Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfTangible
The couple switched sides of the table
What, to on top of the table?
Green haired elf/half elf probably just came over to get closer to brown haired-chick.
...Am I the only one who thought for a split-second that Inkyrius was making a Murphy's Law cameo for some reason?
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Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleanor_Rigby
What, to on top of the table?
Green haired elf/half elf probably just came over to get closer to brown haired-chick.
...Am I the only one who thought for a split-second that Inkyrius was making a Murphy's Law cameo for some reason?
I was talking about the fourth panel. They go from the elf being on the right side to being on the left as they make out.
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Re: Murphy's Law 6: Will we ever stop burning through threads so quickly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfTangible
I was talking about the fourth panel. They go from the elf being on the right side to being on the left as they make out.
So was I:
- Elf is on the right side of the table, brown-hair is on the left.(panel three)
Elf wants to be closer to brown-hair and walks/glomps over towards the left to giver her a hug. (off panel)
Elf goes far enough to the left to be in front of brown-hair so he can see brown-hair's face etc. (off panel)
'Cuddles' happen. Elf and brown-hair are both on the left side of the table, Elf being furthest to the left. (panel four)
...I think I'm beginning to understand how these threads get filled up so quickly!
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