A complete N00bz first try at world-building... - Page 20

Wyntonian · 03-04-2012, 02:00 AM

I would like to thank Byz for her tasty cookie and Good Mr. Reasoner for his photographic contribution. Much thanks, bro.

Dotze Affariata Sub-Factions are next. I just wrote up an awesome backstory for a human-born changeling whose court was wiped out by demons when arcane, divine and natural magic vanished from the land. He's kinda crazy. And by kinda I mean if Hannibal Lecter and River Tam had a child.....

Also, WOOOOOO 20 PAGES WOOOOOOO!!!!!

Byzantine · 03-04-2012, 12:23 PM

Haha! Congratulations on twenty pages! I feel accomplished, even though it's not my thread. >,>; (Also, I just noticed that Mistborn was listed in the inspiration. I love you right now. xD )

Of the legends, I'm down to Wolf, Bear, Owl, Raven and Boar to be completed. I've gotten some help from a mythology geek of mine with improving the others (minus Elk), so I'll be posting those once I transcribe them to my computer.

Wyntonian · 03-04-2012, 01:58 PM

Ah, great! Thanks so much!

I feel like the Fey stuff might be your cup of tea as well. Any ideas or thoughts there?

Lastly, inspired by Zap, I'll be making a blog or some such on which to host various stories about the world. I feel like that's a more elegant informative structure than just laying it out for the reader, though I'll be doing both. Remember the portion on religion? It's that on a larger scale.

Byzantine · 03-05-2012, 12:59 AM

Fey, hm... I could work with that. Are you going with individual courts, or the Seelie and Unseelie version?

That sounds like a cool idea. I've never been much of a blogger, so I'm not entirely familiar with the format myself, sadly.

Eldest · 03-05-2012, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byzantine

Fey, hm... I could work with that. Are you going with individual courts, or the Seelie and Unseelie version?

That sounds like a cool idea. I've never been much of a blogger, so I'm not entirely familiar with the format myself, sadly.

The idea is individual courts all lead by a very powerful (but limited) Fey. So the Raven Lord mentioned can do anything with old age, ruined houses, and ravens. So he could turn you into a old raven and then command you to stay in your house until you family has been brought to ruin, but he couldn't magic open a door. At least, that's how I understand it.

Wyntonian · 03-05-2012, 10:31 AM

Remember how at the beginning of this project I vowed to shatter all those objective morality things? Like, no angels, no demons, just people? I'm doing that with the Fey.

And as for their magic, well, the Raven King could open a door, yes. But it would be more productive to hide from ravens than, say, owls, if he was after you. Their "domains" aren't limits on their power, they're more areas of expertise.

Wyntonian · 03-06-2012, 09:28 PM

Thinking about the Raven King...

Don't question how I tell the story until the end, if you please. It'll span the entirety of the history of Patria, but that's ok. Let it go for a while. Read. Enjoy.

The Raven King. He's old. Awfully old. But not as old as one might think.

Tiber Gaios Asteri, Emperor from Across the Seas and father to all Patrians, came to this land two thousand years ago, fleeing a danger none remember. As a great navigator, a student of the stars, he led his fleet of ships across the vastness of the sea, a distance which none had ever before dared cross. He faced mutinies, storms, starvation, and many, many deaths of what was left of his people as they made their voyage across the seas. Some considered whether or not facing the danger they had just left was not a better choice, One of his lieutenants rebelled, and left, and took his ship with him. After the better part of a year, though, they found land. He was hailed as the greatest king in history, for it was his cunning, his bravery, his wisdom, that brought them across the seas.

He quickly reestablished his kingdom, such as it was. It changed from being the greatest the world had yet seen to the huddled villages of refugees, less than a hundredth of its previous size, starving, riddled with scurvy, but brave and proud and alive.

Contact with the First People was originally rather decent. They resented the intrusion, but understood the necessity. The Empire grew, though, with its feet under it and the both tenacity of a warrior and a thorny weed in one society. Before long, within the lifetime of Tiber Gaios Asteri, war began.

Most sages condemn the First People for beginning the war, but as the majority of the documents of that era that survived are Imperial, their truth is sometimes called into question. Regardless, the First People were valiant, cunning and oftentimes brutal fighters, and were granted strength by their knowledge of the land they fought on and the presence of their homes and children behind them. It was only after fifteen years of constant assaults under the generalship of Tiber Gaios Asteri that the entirety of the Imperial armies could manage gains against their defenses.

The end result of the war was that the First People, unaided by the Dwarves and with their gnome allies likewise under pressure, were backed against what is now the Fogbound River. Under the direction of their greatest council of sages, elders, healers, and wise men and women, they all assembled for a final stand against the united armies of the Empire. Women, children, young, old, all stood against the Imperial Armies. As dawn broke, the warriors of the Imperium saw the entire remaining population of the First People standing, as a large mass, with their backs to the river. And they charged.

The cavalry saw that the elders, the rulers of the tribe stood at the front, their young war-chief among them. They were the first to fall, but not the last. None of the First People fought back, no mother moved to defend her children. No lovers move to cover each other. After an hour of hacking and barraging with artillery and archers, the majority of the First People were dead, with perhaps a single thousand remaining of the ten that had stood there before. Tiber Gaios Asteri rode out, alone, to speak with them and ask for surrender. The last surviving elder smiled as he approached.

The words that passed between them have been lost to history, but as Tiber Gaios Asteri rode away, he was weeping openly. Halting in the space between the armies, he watched.

The blood of nine thousand people flowed into the river behind them, dying it red. As the soldiers of the Empire watched and their Emperor wept at the slaughter he had wrought, the First People walked across the river, apparently carried by the blood of their fellows. As the last of them reached the bank, they turned to watch the Imperial Armies. In an instant, the land across the river, previously forested, vanished. In its place, rushing in in the blink of an eye, was a vast wall of fog, stretching as far as the eye could see along the river and high enough none could see over it. Those closest could see, fleetingly, the faces of those killed in the fog.

When asked for orders, Tiber Gaios Asteri ordered his army to depart, disband and return to their homes. Despite the insistence of his aides and counselors, he refused to leave with him. Ordering away his guards, he stayed at the site of the battle as they rode off home.

It is said that for years he wandered the forested mountains where the First People had lived. He drank in their magic, befriended the raven that was once the companion of the greatest wise man of the First People, and slowly grew to love the land he had conquered. Finally, once he knew every tree, every rock, every inch of dirt, at the end of years of travel and the slow awakening of his magical talents, (previously limited to his skill in government and navigation) he stepped beyond the world at the site of the last battle.

Twenty years later in Patria, a young woman was lost in the woods when she happened upon a ruined house. She stepped inside for shelter and quickly fell asleep.

As she awoke, a man stood nearby, watching her. His hair was black, his skin wrinkled and he had every appearance of a man who descends into old age like he steps into a familiar pool. He wore a cloak that appeared to be made of the feathers of hundreds of black birds, and had the unmistakable bearing of a king. He smiled as she awoke, and reached out to touch her cheek. As his fingers reached her, however, he apparently exploded in a burst of feathers and claws. A huge flock of ravens, all cawing and flapping furiously, blew out of the door of the ruined farmhouse, leaving the girl alone and frightened.

Later, when she tried to find the farmhouse again, it was as if it had vanished.

Zap Dynamic · 03-06-2012, 10:01 PM

A good story! It reminds me of this.

Wyntonian · 03-06-2012, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zap Dynamic

A good story! It reminds me of this.

Yeah, I think it could become a really powerful story. Too bad he realized this whole "I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting" came after they were all dead or transported across the veil.

Eldest · 03-06-2012, 10:40 PM

That... was really, freaking good.

Wyntonian · 03-07-2012, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eldest

That... was really, freaking good.

It really adds something for the Raven King to be human. Originally, at least.

Also, I determined the role of goliaths in this conflict.

Though they desired to fight alongside the First People, they were persuaded not to by the elders. They wished their stories, both their oral traditions and their perspectives of the war to remain alive when they were gone. So, the goliaths remained a sort of seethingly angry neutral in the war, but they still preserve the knowledge of the First People in their written and oral records.

NeoSeraphi · 03-07-2012, 01:50 AM

20 pages! Wooo! That's at least four times longer than any of my homebrew.

Always good to see new and expanding Patria stuff.

Eldest · 03-07-2012, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyntonian

It really adds something for the Raven King to be human. Originally, at least.

Also, I determined the role of goliaths in this conflict.

Though they desired to fight alongside the First People, they were persuaded not to by the elders. They wished their stories, both their oral traditions and their perspectives of the war to remain alive when they were gone. So, the goliaths remained a sort of seethingly angry neutral in the war, but they still preserve the knowledge of the First People in their written and oral records.

... do goliaths make good bards? I actually don't know the stats for goliaths other than they have the large size for some things and medium for others.

Zap Dynamic · 03-07-2012, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eldest

... do goliaths make good bards? I actually don't know the stats for goliaths other than they have the large size for some things and medium for others.

This is one of the reasons why I hate racial modifiers. There's always pressure to make an effective character, but there's always a desire to make a character that's compelling, interesting, and unique. With racial modifiers, those two goals often become mutually exclusive.

According to RAW, all dwarves would have a harder time as a sorcerer or bard... because every single dwarf is cranky? Lame. It falls apart even further if you look at charisma as "force of personality" instead of simply appearance and/or demeanor. Dwarves are characteristically stubborn--which lends itself well to a high charisma score and implies some sort of leadership ability--but you're going to have to suffer an inherent -2 penalty for no particular reason.

This rant really doesn't serve much of a purpose, and I could go on for a long time, so I'm going to go ahead and cut myself off.

Yora · 03-07-2012, 08:50 AM

At moderate levels of optimization, a -2 isn't too bad. Not great, but it still works.

Wyntonian · 03-07-2012, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eldest

... do goliaths make good bards? I actually don't know the stats for goliaths other than they have the large size for some things and medium for others.

Eh, they don't need to. Oral history doesn't require Perform checks. Also, they don't have a cha penalty that I recall, so they'd be just fine.

Also, they have powerful build, which is the ability you're thinking of. Essentially, they're large when it benefits them, like carrying larger weapons, grappling, getting nommed on....

NeoSeraphi · 03-07-2012, 12:20 PM

Goliaths get +4 Str, -2 Dex, +2 Con. They make fine bards.

Byzantine · 03-07-2012, 02:45 PM

I'm gonna stay out of the stats chat. I get enough of it from my group as it is. xD

As for the fey, I think I could work with that, sure. I really like the story of the Raven Lord. A lot. The adventure ideas are just flowing from that story now. You, my good sir, are epical.

Hm. On that note, I'm really tempted to play in this world now. Maybe play a warlock? Yeeeees... warlocks...

Cookies for all!

Beaver

Spoiler

Horse (My friend is really, really, REALLY into horses, by the way. Just a warning.)

Spoiler

Dove

Spoiler

Hawk

Spoiler

Fox

Spoiler

Wyntonian · 03-07-2012, 04:10 PM

Thanks, Byzantine! That's excellent. I really appreciate your help with that sort of thing.

Also, I was thinking about the monasteries and I had a couple ideas for metaphors to help people who have read Sanderson get it a little better.

Grey Palm is Kelsier. Kill them all, every last one, because they all need to die. Period, no exceptions. Yes, even that one.

Phoenix is Elend (except not as a noble). Focused on the future, what could be, with an emphasis on education. Prepare today, teach people now, plan for tomorrow, and stay peaceable.

Unending Road is Sazed. Go around helping people where you can, offer aid to the Grey Palm and Phoenix when appropriate, but don't do any murderous rampages or ivory-toer musings. Just help.

Wyntonian · 03-07-2012, 04:13 PM

Oh, and warlocks. If you can find a non-demonic power source (hint: there's tons of them. I can make a list if you want), you can eldritch blast to your heart's content.

Byzantine · 03-07-2012, 08:32 PM

Oh, I was thinking of going with fey anyway. Though, an elemental warlock would be interesting. Then of course there's 'cosmic' sources and pure arcane blood-type stuff. So many options. xD

I like the analogue. Unending Road has my full support, simply because it's Sazed.

Zap Dynamic · 03-07-2012, 09:33 PM

What are the internal relations of Vallheim like? Are they unified as one people (with the clans acting something like guilds)?

The clan stuff reminds me a little of the Aiel from the Wheel of Time series. It's been a while since I read them, and this is the easiest way I can think of to represent the situation:

Clan A and Clan B are at war with each other.
Clan A has members from the orders of 1, 2, and 3.
Clan B has members from the orders of 2, 3, and 4.

Members of the same order won't fight each other. So even though "Order 2 Dude from Clan A" is at war with Order 2 Dude from Clan B," they won't fight each other if they meet in battle. "Order 2 Dude from Clan A" has no qualms about fighting "Order 1 Dude from Clan B" though. In the book, situations like this are used for diplomacy, i.e. members of the same order from different clans will meet to discuss treaties, truces, surrenders, etc.

If Vallheim has warring factions within it, you might think about adopting this model. To mirror the example above, Faction A might be made up primarily of Hawk, Horse, and Beaver clan members, and Faction B might be primarily Elk, Wolf, and Horse. Members of the Horse clan from both factions would have an agreement never to fight each other, could meet to discuss treaties, etc.

Wyntonian · 03-07-2012, 11:06 PM

Well, two generations ago King Brenyn's father ended a civil war between the Clans in time to fight off an invasion of evil giants, frost spirits and the Cold Ones from across the northern seas, which freeze over during the coldest winters and essentially make a traversable land bridge. For this, he was elected King by the newly reassembled Chiefs, in the semidemocratic style they had previously used.

The war had lasted the better part of fifty years, with two major factions. It had raged fiercely at first, but had essentially petered out near the end, with the five to seven factions (it changed a couple times partway through) moving from full-fledged war to stiff glares and well-held grudges, occasionally interrupted by a minor raid.

I'll do some details of the factions later. Tired, and I need to do two papers by tomorrow morning.

Wyntonian · 03-09-2012, 11:41 PM

So, you guys know about the Elect, the prophet of the Good God coming in and giving the rich folk divine right on top of everything else they had on the little guy. Now, let's look at the individual cities, starting with the largest four. I'll go over the things that are common to each city late, but for now let's focus on the differences.

Llanca is situated in a position to control the largest and easiest pass into the Dotze Affariata. They are also conveniently close to several productive iron and silver mines, and several foundries and simple blast furnaces with which to work it, as well as many skilled craftsmen. They have strongest military force south of the mountainous border with Sunshan, a powerful Electorate and mandatory military service for all men aged 17-19. They are frequently a target of Goliath raids, so their military is well-trained and hardened. They host colleges of metallurgy, alchemy, engineering and the most prestigious military academy in Patria.

I had more, but it ate my post. More tomorrow, then.

Wyntonian · 03-12-2012, 10:03 PM

SONOFABITCH. I'm seriously freaking done with school computers. I wrote like 8 pages of stuff for the cities and it all got eaten. GGGGGAAAHAHHHAHA

I'll rewrite it

once I do Zap and Eldest's game update.

Wyntonian · 03-12-2012, 11:06 PM

.....

......

Marcelena is the cultural hub of the Dotze Affariata. It is located on a small rise near a rich, bountiful alluvial floodplain formed by an eastern branch of the Fogbound River, which is also deep enough for rivercraft to travel. It is the home of the Inicia, the cathedral that is the heart of the Church of the Good God, where his prophet Tadeo Piados ascended to join him. They also host the annual Reunio, where representatives of each of the Dotze Affariata meet to ~~bitch and whine~~ share important and relevant insights on the state of international affairs. They host colleges of divinity, music, art, dance, diplomacy and there is rumors of it being the current and temporary site of the secretive Assassin's ~~Creed Convention~~College.

Wyntonian · 03-12-2012, 11:13 PM

Doing these one at a time, trying to minimize my losses...

Maregio is possibly the largest economic hub in Patria. They are situated on a large, well-protected and deep harbor that allows for vast piers, shipbuilding facilities and other marine pursuits. Over the years, the local waters have all but been fished out, causing many former fishermen to turn to trade. Across Patria, it is usually easier to hire a Maregian vessel to transport your goods and armies than it is to build, crew and supply your own. They have a large navy that could theoretically challenge Sunshan and Soleh for naval dominance, despite their small size on the dryland battlefield. As could be expected, they have a problem with organized crime and smuggling, as frequently occurs when masses of wealth come together. They host colleges of navigation, naval command, trade and mathematics.

Wyntonian · 03-13-2012, 09:44 PM

Maquila is the last of the Big 4 of the Dotze Affariata. It is situated on a raging river that runs down from the mountains that border Sunshan. This river powers the many waterwheels that make Maquila such an industrial power. They have many moderately advanced factories that make textiles and other goods. As they have many menial jobs to fill, they own many gnome slaves to work in the factories. This productive capacity, only really realized in the last three decades, is placing pressure on the economies of the other cities, and the influx of gnome slaves has put many humans out of work.

Oh, fun fact of the day: My diary of grandmother, who died six years ago, recently came into my possession, along with some of her other items she apparently willed to me once I came of age. It would appear, tentatively, that she was a practitioner of runic divination (Elder Futhark) and a closeted follower of the Norse gods. How badass is that? Her husband, my grandfather, who died a year or so after her, was a strict fundamentalist (along with being no fun at all) who probably would have frowned upon her practices. My great-great-grandmother was a first-generation immigrant from Norway whose daughter was sent across the country to Oregon to marry my Grandmother's father, and brought the traditions with her. She passed it on to her daughter, who passed it on to me. Her diary included a bound rune of my name, which apparently is rather auspicious. (Once I decipher her curly cursive I'll try to explain why).

Anyway, I'm pretty freaking psyched about this. It's so cool to understand this part of my heritage! Also, guess what this is going to mean?

YES! I'm restarting the rune-feats project, now that I have the Big 4 done! Woooo!!!!

In case you can't tell, I'm rather excited.

Zap Dynamic · 03-13-2012, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyntonian

My grandmother... was a practitioner of runic divination and a closeted follower of the Norse gods. How badass is that?

VERY.

Quote:

Her diary included a bound rune of my name, which apparently is rather auspicious....Also, guess what this is going to mean?

I'm really jealous of your life?

Eldest · 03-14-2012, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyntonian

It would appear, tentatively, that she was a practitioner of runic divination (Elder Futhark) and a closeted follower of the Norse gods. How badass is that?

Very.

****, that's cool.