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BarbarianWizard should name his greatclubstaff "Magic" or "Juju", or something to that effect. Then when something happens he can say "Korg use his 'Magic Power'" and then he bashes away.
Korg's "Magic Power" is to be feared and respected.
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Originally Posted by Randel
You're totally not spending your scroll money on booze, whores, and gambling
Blade Barrier: Swings Sword around super fast hitting everything that comes near.
Web: Throws a net.
Metamagic:
Chain Spell: Cleave/GreatCleave/Whirlind Attack...
Or
Chain Spell: Uses other "spells" with Spiked chain for focus.
Scult Spell: Quick Draws a different weapon to hit with.
Maximize spell: Coup de Grace.
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Originally Posted by Somebody
Something Deep.
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Originally Posted by Somebody, possibly same person as above
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse,” I said, sounding calm, probably inaudible in the midst of the screaming. “Inevitable. Wasn’t that how she put it? I told them. Warned them.”
-Taylor Hebert. Yes, I'm a proud Skittle.
Necrotic Familiar - If a familiar dies then it can be turned into a Necrotic Familiar through a several hour long process that includes removing its insides and replacing it with stuffing (and/or rocks or bombs). While Necrotic Familiars lack some of the uses of living familiars, they can be used for other things... like rugs or bludgeoning instruments.
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse,” I said, sounding calm, probably inaudible in the midst of the screaming. “Inevitable. Wasn’t that how she put it? I told them. Warned them.”
-Taylor Hebert. Yes, I'm a proud Skittle.
"We are a brotherhood of scholars who have studied under the great mage Thog. He has taught us many secrets, and shown us the true nature of magic. If you disagree, I will use my magic staff to fracture your skull."
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Lord Raziere herd I like Blasphemy, so Urpriest Exalted as a Malefactor
Meet My Monstrous Guide to Monsters. Everything you absolutely need to know about Monsters and never thought you needed to ask.
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Originally Posted by Mithril Leaf
One of the unwritten rules of Giantitp is that Urpriest is always right.
not nale, not-nale. thog help nail not-nale, not nale. and thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail.
Wow. I thought I'd get the equivalent of a few eye-rolls, but, k'damn. I think I'll edit the first post and put some of the more amusing "spells" in his "spellbook." Thanks everyone. Especially to araveugnitsuga for the idea of his sword being an "oversized metal wand" which I actually thought of once and then forgot, and to Randel for the scene which includes this line: "Hello?! Korg Wizard! Korg's magic very specific and absurdly context sensitive." I think that pretty much writes the character for me.
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Creator of the Thogaturge.
Avatar by the one and only Ceika.
"I'll be whatever I wanna do." - Philip J. Fry
There is a problem with this: the incredibly high hp of a barbarian compared to that of a wizard.
In almost every campaign a squishy spellcaster falls unconscious due to an effect something everyone else would shrug off. Playing dead after the slightest injury might work.
Wind Wall: he spends several rounds standing in front of allies and blowing really hard. arrows that hit must have been shot over the wall! they are archery masters
Shocking Grasp: make a grapple check. on a success, shake them really hard while going BBBZZZZZZZTTTTTT
Ventriloquism: start talking out of the side of your mouth. funnier if you have a puppet. funnier still if you perceive the puppet to be your familiar. bonus points if you give him an accent
Hideous Laughter: laugh in their face. they roll a save vs the sausiating stench of your breath. when they dont lose their round, they obviously must have strong will!
Spells like Whispering Wind and Message would be hilarious to act out
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Originally Posted by 3SecondCultist
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You're just going to start randomly setting things on fire, aren't you?
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Originally Posted by TechnoScrabble
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This entire campaign's going to become nothing but partying in a long forgotten world, isn't it?
Characters: Newest are Obaben and Maha'oi, and the rest are here
This might be an interesting way to play a tank.
The Whackomancer stands at the back with their pointy hat, robe and big stick. 'Intelligent' foe closes in and tries to target the caster, ...
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π = 4
Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.
I wouldn't recommend giving him a penalty to Int (he could use the skill points to put into various disguise or bluff skills or whatever) but he could totally dump Wis or something. I always though of Intelligence as being (the mental ability to think up cool stuff) while Wisdom is (the mental ability to avoid doing stupid stuff). Charisma is just the ability to look cool while doing whatever you're doing... be it cool or stupid.
Anyway, he'll also need a beard. Wizards have long flowing beards while barbarians might have wild unshaven beards, just give your wild beard a few run-throughs with a comb and you've got the wizard look down pat.
Of course, you could always try to equate a wizards power with the length of their beard.
Evil Wizard: So, you foolish adventurers have come to stop my masters plans? Well, I wil defeat you all with my powerf...
Korg: Korg challange dumb wizard to wizard duel!
Evil Wizard (has no points in sense motive): Oh, so I finally meet the famed Korg the Magical. I must admit you've provem quite effective despite your... ahem... mongrel heritage.
Korg: Korg better wizard than you because Korgs beards bigger than your beard! Korg break your beard and you not be any kind of wizard to hurt anyone!
Evil Wizard: Umm... I see, you think your greater age and experience will give you victory. (Gah, how I dislike dealing with other wizards. We have such abysmal charisma that its a wonder we can talk straight). Well you're mistaken,Old Man! My youth and vitality will se me triumph over you ancie...
Korg: Arcane....DISJUNCTION! RAHHHH!!! *Korg runs up to the Evil Wizard, grabs onto his beard and rips it right off of his face!*
Evil Wizard: HOly Sweet mother of!! My Face, my beauiful face! *grabs onto the bleeding part of his face where his beard was*
Korg: Smite EVILL! *Smashes the evil wizard over the head with his staff of smiting*
Paladin (still a fighter with a horse): Wow, such a wonderous display. Looks like that necromancer won't be causing any more troubles.
Evil Wizard: Oh god I'm in such pain...
Korg: *snaps the evil wizards neck* Korg good at breaking neckromancers.
Paladin: Well then, I'll just go search the rest of the place: Detect Evil *looks at some ugly minion* ... he's evi! Kill him! *kills the minion* Detect Evil *looks at a hot chick* She's good... but wounded. Time to lay on hands!
Korg: Now Korg take evil wizards power for Korgs own. *Takes the ripped off beard and knits the hair into his own beard to make it longer* Now Korgs beard bigger than ever! Korgs wizardly powers get better every time Korg beat other wizards in wizard duels.
If you want to play Korg as being "Fairly smart in his own way." Have him take an interest in stuff like riddles or arcane theories. Not that he cares for them or even half-understands them but he knows how to spout stuff that seems magical for those not versed in it while giving severe headaches to those who actually know how magic works.
Korg: Evil Wizard not be able to defeat Korg because Korgs familiar better than your familiar and grant Korg more spells! *holds up terrified cat*
Evil Wizard: What? Thats not... I don't even have a familiar! Familiars are a waste because wizards lose power if their familiar gets hurt.
Korg: Exactly! Clerics gets spells from gods and get all kinds of spells and can wear armor. Wizards get spells from tiny animals *screaming cat* and get specific blasty spells but can't wear bulky armor. You no have familiar to give you spells while I have a familiar so I stronger than you and you lose already!
Evil Wizard (also has no ranks in sense motive): What?! Thats not possib... but it makes logical sense that the source of magic would require a secondary node to transmit the infromation through nondimentional space...
Korg: Arcane Transformationg! *flexes muscles* Rawwr! *Smashes wizard with his staff*
Evil Wizard: Nooo! I knew I should have gotten that toad familiar instead of trading it for an extra feat! *dies*
Not sure what skills you want Korg to have but Handle Animal could let you train some animals to be your familiars/summoned monsters/thralls or whatever.
Also, there is the feat "Able Learner" that lets you buy cross class skill ranks at a ratio of 1:1 but are still limited by the maximum ranks you can have in the skill. So, instead of a character using their skill points to max out one class skill could train in two cross class skills for exactly the same numer of skill points.
Not sure how well this fits in with the character concept but I'm thinking having Korg moderately skilled in bluffing, sense motive, and other skills could come in handy while pretending to be a wizard. Unless you'd rather he just brute force his way through everything which could work out just as well.
Also: He can train various animals to help him (either the nice way or the les than nice way). Use a skunk as the animal focus for the stinking cloud spell.
Oh, and see if there is a way to grapple an enemy wizard by their beard and twirl them around in a circle.
Grab enemy wizard by beard/mustache/hair/long pointy nose/eyebrows/sprouty ear hair. Win.
Why didn't I see this before?! That is brilliant.
Korg: *Rip off beard*
Wizard: *Screams like girl*
Korg: Acid Splash *throws a vial of vinegar or sea water onto the wound*
Wizard: *screams extra loudly*
Korg: Whoa! Must have crit, he scream real good.
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~~Courage is not the lack of fear~~
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Originally Posted by gooddragon1
If the party wizard can't survive a supersonic dragon made of iron at epic levels it's his own fault really.
I really like the idea, and may steal it in the future. However, what caused him to be this way? Why does he fervently believe that he IS a wizard?
Korg want be magic-guy. But Korg no have time for "learning". Korg figure out how be magic-guy on Korg own. Korg is intelej...indelli...intelaq.........Korg is smart. Korg be awesomeest magic-guy EVER!
Now where Korg leave Korg famuli...famillow........Where Korg leave Korg magic-cat-pet?
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Originally Posted by fizzybobnewt
Barbarizard sounds like a Pokémon.
*barbarizard used MAGIC SMASH*
*it was super effective*
What would be hilarious is if other wizards were unable to tell that Korg isn't a real wizard.
Many wizards don't put ranks in Sense Motive, Spot, and other social/perception skills as they put the points into other knowledge skills to improve their powers.
Evil or power hungry wizards (or the ones willing to go raid dungeons instead of go to a wizard university) often dump their charisma score. Half-Orcs especially since they would need to work extra hard to become a wizard. So if Korg acts strange or says stupid stuff then they think its a matter of him being unable to communicate his thoughts properly as opposed to not really having any arcane thoughts to begin with.
If they see him carrying around bits of dead animals or bones then they think he's a necromancer or something, not that he's a barbarian keeping parts of his opponents as a trophy.
Korg could pay bards to sing about his great wizardly tales and give them enough info on his "magic" to make any enemies studying him unable to tell his barbarian magic from real magic.
Their attempts to scry on him don't detect any magic... so he must be using some abjuration to hide his magical auras! Clearly he's smart like that because few mages take the time to hide their arcane auras properly and thus expose themselves to others learning what spells they use!
So... other mages might think he's a necromancer who's using abjuration spells to hide his magical auras, thus leaving no trail for his enemies to find his weakness and try to kill him when he inevitably becomes a lich! The fact that he's incredibly stong and durable clearly means that he's already in the process of turning himself into an undead of some sort. His appearance, strength, durability, and smell all back this theory up (though he does seem to keep his robes in better shape than other necromancers who let their robes turn into moth-eaten tatters while they are wearing them...)
Or he's an abjurer (rare but that just makes their potential more unknown) who's hiding his auras and boosting himself with protective spells.
Or a Transmuter who's permanantly increased his strength and constitution to eliminate the traditional Wizard weaknesses! Only particularly high level spells like Polymorph any Object can achieve a permanant effect like that so he must be powerfull... or might not have even been a half-orc origionally! He could actually have been human, or elvish, or something else before changing species. Cue enemies looking through old books to find any powerful wizards who "dissapeared" and might have taken on a new identity.
Or he's an illusionist (easiest explaination!) and he's hiding his true power behind a veritable onion of multi-layered illusions like a diabolical cake of arcane mystery! Naturally the illusions are hiding his real spells and tricking the mind into thinking that he's just throwing rocks at people... but of course no wizard would be strong enough to throw rocks around and no other class of person could be smart enough to pretend to be a wizard!
And of course there are those who think he's a changeling or something because no half-orc could be smart enough to wield magic like that. This doesn't discount the idea that he might actually be a member of one of those "lesser" spellcasters like a sorcerer or (god forbid) a bard or beguiler. Warmage is the absolute farthest one could rationally expect his deception to go but warmages aren't 'proper' spellcasters and anything less than that would be ridiculous.
Though he could actually be a psion (bah, psionics isn't even close to being real magic) or some other freakish non-mage on account of his startling ability to operate inside of an anti-magic field and protect his spell from dispells, counterspells, and even disjunctions!
Cue Krog running into various enemy wizards who are certain they know his "big secret" and try taking him out with cold iron, garlic, control undead, anti-psionic fields, or overly complex attempts to find out what god he's serving and making him break his divine vows or destroy all the plants in a 100 foot radius so he can't call on the power of nature.
Korg: Korg not stopped by puny weak tricks. Korg magic comes from Korg and not stopped by anything except things too strong for Korg to smash with magic! *brings his big staff back* Nailed... Tooo ... THE...
Evil Wizard: What? Nooo! He's Epic Level! And possibly some kind of arcane demigod who grants himself spells somehow!
Korg: SKY!! *Smashes the evil wizard so hard between the legs that he's launched up into the air and smashes up into the ceiling*
Sorry about the slight necro, but I do feel the need to add to this with a small concept of my own: the Barbariancist.
It basically means stretching exactly what "illiteracy" of the Barbarian means: it can be interpreted (impending GM approval) as the Barbarian being unable to write and read in all known languages, which mean that, in theory, the Barbarian can, effectively, write and read in a language known only to himself.
As for my Barbarian, since he was in a lighthearted campaign and was almost a joke character (such as having 08 Int and acting as such but being as polished as I could be whenever he'd read his self written romances), his personal language was just the palm of his right hand stamped on the page of a book, but he still could make sense of it; in your case, your Barbarian Wizard can just say to everyone that it's "dragon language" or just say it's a language no one else knows (Orc or Undercommon usually work).
Another thing to consider would be taking a race with Natural Armor so the Mage Armor deal is covered and, if needed, actually give him a normal armor 'cus he's such a prodigy that he learned how to cast in it.
BTW, as for Barbarizard spells.
Did you already list Explosive Runes?
Hand someone a folded piece of paper. When they unfold it to read, hit them hard on the head with your club.
__________________ So you know, university Physics D&D 3.5 Optimization is essentially three seven years of this discussion among like-minded enthusiasts. Done with supercomputers, access to the textsplatbook collections of five continents and thirty languages with thousands of classes, prestige classes, feats and spells.
On four hours sleep a night.
With no sex.
You're not going to find the loophole these guys missed.
BTW, as for Barbarizard spells.
Did you already list Explosive Runes?
Hand someone a folded piece of paper. When they unfold it to read, hit them hard on the head with your club.
Korg develop his own version - KonKussive Roons
Kord also cast finger of death using titan finger (he has a titan finger made into a club, power attack enough to force a massive damage save)
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Re: Help Me Be Annoying with a Barbarian Wizard
*Sighs* I cast cure minor wounds.
Fine, I cast Calm Emotions.
