[3.5e] What You are Against the Darkness - the OotS style fan comic

[Lither]

Originally Posted by Doorhandle

On the current comic which ironically isn;t the one posted just above me...

First, I wondered what this was about.

Then I facepalmed and resolved to check my links more before I post them, if what has been happening repeatedly recently is any example.

[Lemonus]

I'll be following this, if it's still alive.

[Hazzardevil]

(shouting) Tell us what was there!
[grabs hold of nearest person and shakes wildly.]
I was wondering how the angel got to the material plane, this means that he can do a heroic sacrifice which I expect will happen.

[Lither]

Next comic has been uploaded.

#13: Stationary Bonuses

Now, let's hope the curse that seems to dog my every attempt to post a link here goes away.

As to this comic, I'm building up for what is going to happen in the next few strips, where the story of the past will continue and involve less narration and more moustache'd paladins. Unfortunately, the length limited me (I can make a long strip, it will just be a very long time before it is likely to be seen). I want to finish this so I can go back to the ground where making jokes is easier, but I'm trying not to make it a rush job, which means making a bunch of strips rather than an extremely compressed few.

[AscendantJim]

congratulations! this is very good.

[Lither]

What? Lither updated twice in less than thirty days?

Surely not.

Anyway, here it is:

#14: Read The Scroll Carefully

It's taking longer to resolve this than I thought.

Any reviews of this so far?

[super dark33]

Umm... i think the current comic is 14 and not telve, but its still comic 12 in its place.
can you fix it please?

[Lither]

Originally Posted by AscendantJim

congratulations! this is very good.

Thanks!

Originally Posted by super dark33

Umm... i think the current comic is 14 and not telve, but its still comic 12 in its place.
can you fix it please?

Fixed, thanks.

[Admiral Harkov]

The black text over the brown background in the first line of panels is hard to read. At least with my contrast settings.

It looks promising, so far I'm liking it. I would say it has the defect of too much text and exposition, though at this phase it's logical the need to put the reader up to speed to the needed lore. For me in some I get the feeling of infodump forced, but while my subconscious tells me there should be something simple that I could say as a help to get it delivered better, I can't consciously put my finger on what is that. But it's to be expected that some infodumping is needed so it's not any major issue.

I think most defects this comic may have so far are a matter of being the start of making them and you'll solve them in time as you get experience. Other defects that may be, I'm not aware of them.

Also I think it's due to the eye position, but I can't help but see the main character as a girl, but then it's a man. Maybe it's intentional because they don't have genders? And what you do is make them look feminine and addressed as males. If so I say very good job. If not, that doesn't turn it into bad job. My impression is that happens because the eyes are too close and either they're too low or the mouth too high for a male character?.

Your not worn helmets ar drawn as if they had no back, btw. If you're using inkscape I'd suggest a little triangleish thing drawn behind with vertices behind the inside borders of the front side wouldn't be hard. (At least I hope!).

[Lither]

First of all, thanks for this. I really want to write this better, and it is hard if I don't receive any feedback.

Originally Posted by Admiral Harkov

The black text over the brown background in the first line of panels is hard to read. At least with my contrast settings.

I'm playing around with the colour settings now. I'll see if I can get this more visible.

Originally Posted by Admiral Harkov

It looks promising, so far I'm liking it. I would say it has the defect of too much text and exposition, though at this phase it's logical the need to put the reader up to speed to the needed lore. For me in some I get the feeling of infodump forced, but while my subconscious tells me there should be something simple that I could say as a help to get it delivered better, I can't consciously put my finger on what is that. But it's to be expected that some infodumping is needed so it's not any major issue.

I found the overexposure of text to be something I don't like, either. I've tried to fix it, mostly by shutting Alexander up in the last couple of pages.

The problem is with trying to avoid over saturation of exposition is that about now the exposition is supposed to be occurring to bring the reader up to speed with the piece. I have to tread a fine line now, and I think I'm rather over the "too much" side.

Originally Posted by Admiral Harkov

I think most defects this comic may have so far are a matter of being the start of making them and you'll solve them in time as you get experience. Other defects that may be, I'm not aware of them.

I hope so.

Originally Posted by Admiral Harkov

Also I think it's due to the eye position, but I can't help but see the main character as a girl, but then it's a man. Maybe it's intentional because they don't have genders? And what you do is make them look feminine and addressed as males. If so I say very good job. If not, that doesn't turn it into bad job. My impression is that happens because the eyes are too close and either they're too low or the mouth too high for a male character?.

If you're talking about Alexander, he isn't really the main character. More like a literary foil for Eric and exists mainly to be the butt of most jokes that involve someone getting hurt and to provide the exposition.

The gender thing is also intentional, thanks for noticing.

Originally Posted by Admiral Harkov

Your not worn helmets ar drawn as if they had no back, btw. If you're using Inkscape I'd suggest a little triangleish thing drawn behind with vertices behind the inside borders of the front side wouldn't be hard. (At least I hope!).

I didn't notice that, thanks for pointing it out. I've edited them, and in future they will appear to look like they have a back to them.

Thanks again for taking the time to write this. It has been helpful and much appreciated.

[Admiral Harkov]

Originally Posted by Lither

I have to tread a fine line now, and I think I'm rather over the "too much" side.

True. I agree there. The possible ill consequences of erring in the too much are less bad than in the too little. I'd rather have a few strips that are exposition heavy and of "heavy" read (I don't know how better to say it, but I'm sure it can be understood easily) than because of not having that, seeing things that either seems gratuitous, deus ex machina, pulled off the author's ass or appear at first glance nonsensical to the world, which are the four main problems I can think right now of the too little option and would be, in my opinion, more serious issues than a little extra text.

Originally Posted by Lither

The gender thing is also intentional

Perfect! Exactly as it should be then.

[Lither]

*crosses fingers*

Next comic is up.

#15: Crushing Realisation

It's almost resolved now.

[fergo]

"I hate flying dwarfs. Especially ones that land on you with very little provocation."

Made me laugh .