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Old 12-06-2011, 09:43 PM   Top  -  End  -  #1
bobthe6th
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Default Telekineticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH)<-really, you should.

Class:
Spoiler


ACFs:
Spoiler
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Old 12-07-2011, 01:20 AM   Top  -  End  -  #2
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) smashing things with other things!

Overview: A nice attempt at a classic character type, but it feels a little rough and unpolished. However, you've got a lot of good material here, and with a little work, I think you can whip this into fine shape. Looking at power level, you're well short of your target. This is a tier 5 class as currently written.

Something that jumps out at me on a first read-through is that the telekinetic abilities lack a unifying mechanical principle. For example, Telekinesis has a lifting strength based on character level, while Telekinetic Fighting has an attack Strength based (presumably) on the character's Strength score, and Far Trick has a breaking strength based on your Charisma score. I'd suggest building a single mechanic to determine your effective Strength score when using all telekinetic class features, and then using that unified mechanic throughout the class.

Minor notes: The class name you're looking for is telekinetic. I'd also suggest you quickly run your text through spell check and proof your grammar to make it more readable. People tend to read a class more thoroughly and give a more thoughtful critique when the material is cleanly written. All abilities need to be identified as extraordinary, supernatural, or spell-like in their descriptions. This determines how they interact with an antimagic field and whether or not they provoke attacks of opportunity when used.

Class Skills: I'd definitely recommend Autohypnosis for the class skill list, as it seems a great fit for the class. Disable Device, OTOH, seems a poor fit since you have neither Search, Trapfinding, nor a high Intelligence to support it.

Telekinesis: You'll need to specify what kind of action is needed to simply sustain an object. Does the ability require concentration? Can the concentration be disrupted, per normal rules? How much rest is required after using telekinesis, and what counts as resting?

Force Blast: Need to specify the type of action required to use force blast.

Telekinetic Fighting: Does the character suffer the normal penalties if he attempts to fight with a weapon that is larger than what he could normally wield in his hands? For example, suppose a Medium human attempts to telekinetically wield a colossal greatsword. Also, D&D rounds down, not up. Thus, I'd suggest you maintain "one weapon, plus one for every five levels above first (two at 6th, three at 11th, etc.)". It seems odd to allow multiple weapons beginning at 6th level, but not allow two-handed weapons until 16th. After all, two longswords deal a lot more damage than one two-handed sword.

Far Trick: I'd suggest that rather than merely being able to break open doors, you should use the text, "You may use your telekinesis to make Strength checks to break objects with sudden force. Your telekinesis has a Strength score equal to your Charisma score for this purpose."

Telekinetic Flight: Once the character reaches his flight limit duration, how long must he wait before he can fly again?

Focused Shield: This ability is quite weak for an 18th level feature. I'd recommend you grant it 8-10 levels earlier. Also, you need a little more detail about the wall. Does it have hardness, hit points, and a break DC like a normal wall? What effects can potentially destroy or punch a hole through it? What Strength score does it use to defend itself in the opposed bull rush attempts?
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Last edited by jiriku : 12-07-2011 at 09:47 PM.
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Old 12-07-2011, 01:35 PM   Top  -  End  -  #3
bobthe6th
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) smashing things with other things!

A lot of god points. I will fix this tonight or perhapce this weekend.

But as to the wall, I planed on leaving it an imatirial wall that just counters attempts to move through it with a bullrush. I stuck it in at 18 as I needed to fill a dead level.


Thinking of standerdizeing the abilaty to hold things with telicanisis to being able to do more than one thing in a single standard action. Perhapce initiate one action or maintain one action per 5 levels? Per four? Per three? Not sure.
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Old 12-07-2011, 02:55 PM   Top  -  End  -  #4
zegram 33
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) smashing things with other things!

as a completley unrelated thing, i must agree with the above, your spelling is awful
totally readable though, so theres no real problem there, just sayin

as to the class, it seems good, but if i'm completley honest, the actual amount lifted seems that it might be unfair: what happens if things lifted are damaged, etc, and what happens if you attempt to lift people, more specificallly

from the wording (up to a mass of) it appears you can lift multiple objects at once, but my concern is that humans weigh, according to the d+d wiki, 120lb each, base weight, so that sounds like you can slowly lift one person every level (maybe 1.5 levels) for constitution rounds, so you could easily have a group of 5 people 100 ft in the air by 7th level, which sounds pretty powerful

similarly, some more powerful enemies will be very vulnerable to this, some will only be attackable with other objects (clay golems have CR 10, but weigh 600lb so could be thrown around at 20ft/round by that point, whereas stone golems have CR11 but weigh 2000lbs)

basically i guess im saying can it affect enemies directly, and if so how/do they get a saving thow, etc
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Old 12-07-2011, 04:19 PM   Top  -  End  -  #5
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) smashing things with other things!

going to do more edits tonight...
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Old 12-07-2011, 07:53 PM   Top  -  End  -  #6
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) smashing things with other things!

changed some stuff, moved some stuff. will update the fluff soon.
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Old 12-08-2011, 07:25 PM   Top  -  End  -  #7
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

so thoughts? got 2 opinions so far, and now it should be mostly fixed...
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Old 12-08-2011, 09:08 PM   Top  -  End  -  #8
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

Gonna read through in a bit, just wanted to ask first, did you mean Telekineticist by any chance?
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Old 12-08-2011, 09:12 PM   Top  -  End  -  #9
bobthe6th
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Default Re: Telakenetisist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

huh, that does in fact work. will replace


edit: found and replaced
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Old 12-08-2011, 09:31 PM   Top  -  End  -  #10
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

Can this class make magic weapons? Specifically, hideaway weapons?

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Old 12-08-2011, 09:34 PM   Top  -  End  -  #11
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

Missing light armour proficiency (unless you intend for all telekineticists to wear exclusively medium armour..?)

Regarding force blast...
I would love to see a Colossal longspear (144 lbs I believe) being hurled by this. That would be 6D6 +2D6/10ft unused distance (if you're not proficient with a longspear anyhow). That means a level 6 telekineticist could hurl this spear at point blank range (assuming 10ft travel minimum) for a total of 16D6 damage, unless the bonus d6s from leftover distance of objects and the leftover distance for piercing/slashing weapons are NOT meant to stack.
Am I missing something, or is this just horrific?
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Old 12-08-2011, 09:42 PM   Top  -  End  -  #12
bobthe6th
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

Unarmed AFC. boom, magic force light sabers. now find a way to get suggestion as an at will spell like ability... but no, it can't make them from scratch.

ah should specify that it is different, minor mix up there. anything else I need to make RAW=RAI?
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Old 12-08-2011, 10:24 PM   Top  -  End  -  #13
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

Recipe for DM headache:

Obtain the Improvised Weapons feat, take one full quiver of arrows, tie a rope to the bottom, launch said quiver whilst holding rope...see where I'm going?

Quote:
benefit: you may generate weapons of pure force. these deal damage equal to the number of 'hands' invested in them times 1d6 force damage. they get the Telekineticist's charisma modifier*.5*the number of hands invested+1. these can be are treated as weapons the Telekineticist is proficient with for all purposes.
OK, so they do 1D6/hand in damage, what's the Cha modifier *(1+ 1/2 hands) all about? You just say they get it, not what they get it as a bonus to...

Despite my (possibly) apparent derision, this looks capable of being an effective niche-caster with a reasonable array of interesting abilities. Seriously needs some work tidying up spelling, grammar and such, perhaps with a small tweak or two. Also, you give them wild talent, and they're obviously an essentially psionic class, but you don't specifically mention that anywhere and don't say how these guys interact with psionic feats (which they have access to due to their wild talent).

If you want help, I can happily fix grammar/spelling for you to cut/paste into the top, save you some hassle..?
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Old 12-08-2011, 10:28 PM   Top  -  End  -  #14
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

It's "ACF", not "AFC" (ACF stands for Alternate Class Features)
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Old 12-08-2011, 10:38 PM   Top  -  End  -  #15
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with AFCs!

point 1: eh, this is when the DM starts throwing things aswell. but, as I have been told by a few people, RAI is that an object in D&D is considered anything that stays together if you shake it hard. a quiver+arrows is one object, a stick on another stick is two objects. a rope attached well enough to reisit the several hundred Newtons of force required to launch a 3lb mass several meters is attached well enough to be a single object.

but stock answer is no. if pressed just let the rope snap from tension.


point 2:fixed
it was an attempt to add a strength equivalent to damage with a melee weapon.


on the offer of grammatical assistance: sure, I would happily receive assistance in the English language from an Englishman! if you would repair the grammatical failures i would be most grateful.

@neosariph: Gah, fixing... fixed
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:20 PM   Top  -  End  -  #16
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Telekinesis(SU):
Spoiler


Mental Strength(SU):
Spoiler


OK, here's the first two as far as I can tell. If anything's wrong then lemme know, I'll do some more in a bit.

I'm thinking that anyone being moved by Mental Strength should probably get a save on each round they are being affected, not just the first.
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Old 12-09-2011, 02:13 PM   Top  -  End  -  #17
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Throw in a level one levitate type ability so I can play a quad-amputee with this class!

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Old 12-09-2011, 02:38 PM   Top  -  End  -  #18
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

You could always add Skate as a class feature, usable only on yourself at no more than medium load, but persistent for as long as you're conscious. You'd not move steeply uphill if you had 0ft landspeed to begin with, but you'd still move about otherwise
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Old 12-09-2011, 03:29 PM   Top  -  End  -  #19
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Mental strength, boom done. 25lb>weight 30ft round. 50lb>weight 20ft round. 100>weight 10ft frond.
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:08 PM   Top  -  End  -  #20
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobthe6th View Post
Mental strength, boom done. 25lb>weight 30ft round. 50lb>weight 20ft round. 100>weight 10ft frond.
The original post needs changing, including (if you want them) the grammar/spelling 'fixes' in my previous spoilers. If it all looks OK then I'll carry on with them.
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:21 PM   Top  -  End  -  #21
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Edditing comes lattwer tonight, when I am not in the jump seat of a pickup. (Really, when you are near 6', jumpseats suck so much)... and the trick of copy and paste on a smart phone continues to escape me.

Edit:but the edits look good! They are true to my intentions, and the wording is much better than mine!
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:50 PM   Top  -  End  -  #22
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Good good, I feel your pain btw, I'm 6'2" myself
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Old 12-09-2011, 05:33 PM   Top  -  End  -  #23
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

ok, posted edits. not sure about per round on the save though... it isn't really a save or die, and they are only being carried... ic can deal at max d6 level after level/3 or 2 or 1 rounds.

thoughts? is it a sirious balence issue?

also, is this class putting out to much raw damage? if it tries, and has large objects lieing around, it can do 2d6 level damage with a ranged attack. seems a little powerful...

also, would making the concentration to maintain affects a swift action be to much? as is it can't attack force blast and do any of its other attacks... or perhaps make force blast blow psionic focus?
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:12 AM   Top  -  End  -  #24
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

OK, quick query before I continue, Mental Strength and Telekinetic fighting both give you a maximum number of rounds before having to stop, but don't detail how long you must wait before using them again. As it stands right now, you could just pick up where you left off in the very next round, thereby essentially negating the point of a limited duration. May I suggest you make it read:
'Once this limit is reached, the Telekineticist must wait a number of rounds equal to the rounds this ability was active before he may resume, i.e. if this ability is used for 4 rounds before stopping, it may not be used for another 4 rounds.'

Secondly, I've left out the confusing bit at the bottom of Force Blast, instead leaving the 1D6/10ft not travelled thing as universal for all objects AND weapons. As you have it now, only bludgeoning weapons DON'T get the bonus, and that makes no sense to me. If you wish to say:
'Any piercing weapon launched with this deals an additional 1D6 damage.'
I can see that making more sense.

Anyhow, back to the work at hand!

Force Blast(SU):
Spoiler


Telekinetic Fighting(SU):
Spoiler


Added a couple of minor tweaks to Telekinetic Fighting, mainly to cover the holes in the wording as best I could without changing what I believe you were saying.
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Old 12-10-2011, 01:40 PM   Top  -  End  -  #25
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

thank you that lot is great!

going to leave piercing damage as normal, it was odd when I stuck it in there and I haven't felt any better about it since.

the limit idea might be ok... though it limits him a bit heavily. perhaps up to wisdom mod rounds, then the cool down starts building up? the cool down can then build up to wisdom then it is automatically activated. got the abilaty to do lots of small stuff repeatedly, but long duration has a limit.
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Old 12-10-2011, 05:38 PM   Top  -  End  -  #26
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

OK, how about this then:
This ability has a maximum duration equal to your constitution modifier, after which time the Telekineticist is fatigued for 1D3 rounds. This ability may not be initiated again until the end of the fatigue effect. Every time you use this ability in the same encounter, it's maximum duration is reduced by 1, to a minimum of 1 round.
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Old 12-10-2011, 06:05 PM   Top  -  End  -  #27
bobthe6th
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

hmm... that seems fine. add in that 25lb/2levels can be moved without fatigue. then he can lift small things all the time, but heavy things are a strain. seems a good mechanic though.
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:33 PM   Top  -  End  -  #28
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

If you made it 25lb/3 levels it would scale at the same rate as your number of hands, which correlates well but still allows for a fair bit of free-play...

Also, whilst thinking about it, you should add the text underlined to Telekinesis' description as follows:

Quote:
Telekinesis(SU): A Telekineticist can use the power of his mind to affect objects far away from him. As a standard action he can perform a number of actions, referred to as 'hands', equal to 1/3 class levels (minimum of 1) out to a range of 10ft/class level...
Just realised that without that there, it could easily mean you don't get a hand until level 3! (Please excuse the almost unintentional pun)

Got an actual, bona fide, honest and true day off tomorrow (unless on-call ring me at 5:30 in the morning, AGAIN...) so I'll get cracking on some more of these for you then. Will probably keep cluttering up your thread with questions as I go through but I'm noticing stuff which needs amending/clarifying this way and it's not my brainchild, so you'll have to deal with it!
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:05 PM   Top  -  End  -  #29
bobthe6th
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

heh, I am glad of the help.

added minimum, will add the fatigue underlined. feel free to criticize its placement/grammar.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:29 PM   Top  -  End  -  #30
Veklim
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Default Re: Telakeneticist (3.5 D&D, PEACH) now with ACFs!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobthe6th View Post
objects of 25lb/3 levels (1 level= 25/3=8 and 1/3lb) can be maintained without this limit.
Hrm, maybe 10lb/level is just simpler and easier..?
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