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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
"If I am the only character who took profession (cooking) as a class skill, I am not allowed to slip potions of gender bending into the party's food."
"I am going to turn them back to men, even if I think they look better as women."
"If another PC is going to get romantically involved with my female PC at anytime I am to warn them in advance if she has been "experimenting" on her own body."
"I am not allowed to play D&D for at least 1 week after downloading a new X-change game."
*If I genderchange the barbarian using magic, I will not be surprised if the new shim gender-changes me by force.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not allowed to carry a box of bastard swords (katanas) on my back and then throw them in battle at the ground to walk on.
*I may not throw 8 katanas per round at an enemy, even if I am a bloodstorm blade with 8 attacks for a full round action.
*Even if my character is named Mifune
*Especially if my character is named Mifune
*I may not make characters based on anime period
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drathmar
*I am not allowed to carry a box of bastard swords (katanas) on my back and then throw them in battle at the ground to walk on.
*I may not throw 8 katanas per round at an enemy, even if I am a bloodstorm blade with 8 attacks for a full round action.
*Even if my character is named Mifune
*Especially if my character is named Mifune
*I may not make characters based on anime period
* My character's legend does not begin in the 12th century.
* I may not demand that the party follow a series of 1000 increasingly insane rules just so they can adventure with me.
* If my character could one-shot the entire campaign, I may not say that I'm "just here to observe" the final battle.
* I'm not from the United Kingdom.
* I'm not looking for him/her.
* I'm not going to California.
* FOOL!
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Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Happens
* If my character could one-shot the entire campaign, I may not say that I'm "just here to observe" the final battle.
*Nor may I one-shot the entire campaign and then sit out the final part claiming to have already done my part.
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avatar by Three Shades
Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*If I genderchange the barbarian using magic, I will not be surprised if the new shim gender-changes me by force.
*Having my CE Halfling Sorcerer bluff the LG Paladin into wearing a Belt of Gender Change will allow said paladin a Smite Evil against me.
*Even if it is metagaming due to me wearing an item that prevents alignment detection.
*My CE Halfling is not allowed to take the Winged templete ever again.
*Nor is he allowed any of the following:
Rod of Wonder,
Staff of Charming,
Staff of Power,
the party's only healing wand,
conjuration spells,
evocation spells,
spells at all,
a Baslisk's severed head,
the Head's Up feat,
Chaotic Evil alignment,
the right to be a halfling.
the right to even exist at all.
(He wasn't mass murderer evil, but he was definitely an evil little prick)
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Just because a Gaze attack isn't a natural weapon, dosen't mean I can weaponries the medusa's head.
* Flesh to stone is not flesh to diamond, no matter if the princess planet disagrees
*Cannot carry around donkey jawbones so I can 'get biblical on someone’s ass.'
*Cannot use handle animal to train an elephant to pickpocket.
*Particularly if the best part of that plan is if the elephant is caught, I still have an elephant.
*Cannot wish to roll natural twenties forever.
*cannot use an epic spell to achieve the same result.
*Cannot train a permanent animated object to use magic device.
*Especially if the magic device in question is a wand of fly, and the object in question is a boat.
*Making retributive strikes is not to be a repeated thing.
*potions of light healing are not suppositories, and it is wrong to tell any players this.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*Cannot carry around donkey jawbones so I can 'get biblical on someone’s ass.'
*If I am given a fetch quest involving 100...things, I may not decide bring back 200...things, to impress my future father-in-law and win the hand of the princess.
*My cleric may not carve ten laws into two tablets, break them, and then put them in a box just so that he can melt his enemies' faces.
__________________
Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flickerdart
Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*if the player in question happens to be deaf, that does not mean that character automatically knows Drow Sign Language for free.
*"When in doubt, throw the halfling" is not a viable tactic.
*Especially if said halfling is also a sorceress.
*Substituting this with catapults is considered bad form.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If my character ever becomes the leader of a town or village, my evacuation plan for the women and children in case it ever gets attacked can under no circumstances involve catapults.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*fighting with your off hand just so you can say "I am not left handed" is considered bad form
*If you do so you're opponent will reveal that he is not left handed either.
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Countdown to the zombie Apocalypse: braaaaaaains.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Making Plan A be "Think of a plan," may not be the wisest course of action.
*Making Plan B be "Kill it with fire," will come back to bite you in the ass.
*Making Plan C be "Run away and think of a new plan," might actually work, but it will earn your character a reputation as a wimp.
__________________
Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flickerdart
Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Cannot control more than tywice my bodyweight in minions at any one time.
*Cannot use iron body to increase my bodyweight for this purpose.
*My cohorts cannot also have cohorts.
*If we are using the "Plushyfication" houserule, cannot sell the plushy.
*My sandwich doesn't tell me to kill people.
*My sword MIGHT tell me to kill people. not allowed to listen.
*My cohorts cannot have cohorts, giving me an army a million strong.
*If I try this, I have to pay for them and feed them.
*Not to great-cleave the huge pile of minions to prove a point.
*No, I cannot put ranks into Profession: Corspecrafter, even if a necromancser.
* We are not playing nethack, and so yes, your charcter can in fact equip pants.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Necroticplague
Oddly enough, their isn't a "pants" magic item slot, so actually you have to stat up pants as custom slotless magic items.
Or, you know, just not bother wearing pants.
...Which is a perfect segway into these:
* I may not use Iron Heart Surge as a "performance"-enhancer.
* After the scene fades to black, I may not make a bunch of random skill checks and "let everyone imagine what the heck that means."
** Especially not Handle Animal.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Happens
* After the scene fades to black, I may not make a bunch of random skill checks and "let everyone imagine what the heck that means."
** Especially not Handle Animal.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
**in a medeval setting I may not under any circumstance craft a .50 cal
**Nor may I build a Mini-gun
*it is not named sasha
*it may not be more intelegent than I am
*It may not cost $2.6 million to fire for 8 and a half seconds.
**if I become a sniper it does not make me australian
*I may not be a deranged gunman, paid assassin is acceptable though
*Professional have standards though
*parents will not approve
**Sun Tzu did not take two of every animal on a boat a beat them all up
*nor is this event the origin of the word Zoo
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Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
