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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* My backstory does not include destroying an entire pantheon.
* My backstory does not include causing Atlantis to sink.
* My backstory does not include burning down eighteen villages.
* My backstory does not include permanently backing up the sewers of a major city.
*The DM will write my backstory.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClothedInVelvet
**** If you make a Use Rope check, you have to make sure a safety word is specified.
***** 'What is love' will not be accepted.
* The verbal component for Telekinesis is not 'The power.... to move you'
* you do not need to burn every corpse just in case they're a Polymorphed Troll
** Nor is there any need to burn them 'in case there's any wandering Necromancers around'
*** Raising the corpses as undead yourself before said hypothetical Necromancer can do it, therefor keeping them under your (and indirectly, your party) control instead of some random NPC is still an Evil act.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Jumping at the paladin will not convince him to let you accompany him on his travels.
**If he has to repeatedly hit you in the head with his shield so you stop scaring him, he will not fall, because that counts as self-defense.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Because he was getting uppity with me is not a valid excuse for my actions.
**No one is getting uppity with me.
***Lack of respect is no reason to unleash the fairy super beast on the fairies.
****Not allowed to enslave the fairy super beast and order it to go grocery shopping.
*****Fine I'm allowed to make it fight the tarrasque but only because it would be awesome.
******I am allowed to use my leadership feat and bard spells to enlist the homeless I can not use my vast wealth to arm them to the teeth.
*******I do not merely have to wink three times to unleash my homeless man army.
********I can not say the cleric was forced to close the door of a small hole on the grounds that I made it into my new home. (message me if you want a background on that bad boy and if you aren't let me add a subsection to the rule.)
I must accept the fact that I am now shrapnel.
********* Not allowed to use the threat that I will turn back into shrapnel but I probably will anyways.
__________________
Quote:
This is horrifying beyond anything Lovecraft ever wrote or Giger ever drew.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* When encountering the BBEG, I may not chalange him to a Ham-off to decide who is the real villain here
** If I do make the BEG submit, I may not take his place and dump said BBEG on the party
** My PC's motivation for joining the party cannot be that the BBEG isn't villainy enough and needs to be replaced
* The party paladin does not apreciate my plan to stop the bandits if it involves a citysworth of casualties
** Or opening a gate to hell beneath them does not work either
** inding solars to commit said mass murder/opening the gate to hell does not make it any less "evil"
** The party paladin is not secretly begging me for a quick Morality Unbound, nor is he secretly supportive of my evil
** I cannot use the paladin as ammunition in a seige.
** This cannot be because his average damage and survivability are far to low to make it worth it
** If I point that out I will get smoten. multiple times.
__________________ love of mine, someday you will die,
and I'll be close behind
to follow you into the dark
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages
** I cannot use the paladin as ammunition in a seige.
** This cannot be because his average damage and survivability are far to low to make it worth it
** If I point that out I will get smoten. multiple times.
*The party Barbarian is also forbidden ammunition.
**Okay, if he asks for it, fire away.
***Complaining of boredom is not asking for it.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*As a Hulking Hurler, may not use other party members as weapons without their permission
**Just because the rogue gave me permission does not mean that I can throw the wizard
*May not have a siege crossbow as my main weapon
**Especially if it's used to remove doors from their frames, their houses and the world of objects larger than a matchstick.
***Especially if the only safe place to be when it is used is a hundred feet or more behind the user
__________________
Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
*As a Hulking Hurler, may not use other party members as weapons without their permission
**Just because the rogue gave me permission does not mean that I can throw the wizard
*May not have a siege crossbow as my main weapon
**Especially if it's used to remove doors from their frames, their houses and the world of objects larger than a matchstick.
***Especially if the only safe place to be when it is used is a hundred feet or more behind the user
So in other words, can't play Detritus from Discworld
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Cannot play a Discworld troll.
*No more starting the space age before the industrial or even the renaissance ages begin.
*I am not the God Emperor of the Imperium of Dwarf/Hadozee/Gnome/Man/Half-Elf/Awakened Baboon.
*STOP. ROLLING. MONKEY CHARACTERS.
*Apes, hadozee, chimps, and other monkeyish primates count.
*My rat catcher's dog did NOT just rip off a greater daemon's head, no matter what the rolls say.
__________________ Sergeant Scrabble slowly snuck up behind the pants militia...
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* my warforged bard does not have "hextech sub-woofer" as a body feature, nor can he take ranks in Perform (Dubstep)
* No, not even if "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" fits the campaign theme
* My kobold paladin does not worship Pun Pun
* My mount can not "crazy ivan"
* nor can it "sonic rainboom", even if it is a pegasus.
* Sadly, I cannot iron heart surge Murphy's Law
*when an enemy fumbles on an itenerative attack, I may not yell "C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER"
__________________
Epic avatar by the Epic Ceika
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78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature.
I started mine with the only player waking up in prison
[Nexus] If I'm asking about a rock, feel free to make up an answer. Seriously anything.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
{{scrubbed}}
*If my alchemist makes an extract of greater invisibility, this does not entitle him to go bat**** crazy as soon as he quaffs it.
*Strength mutagens will not atrophy my genitals.
* Potions of flight will *get* you high up, they will not *make* you high.
*It has been made abundantly clear that no, your alchemist cannot quit any time he wants.
*Even if there are rules for it, cannot make a hwacha.
*Especially cannot fill it entirely with wands.
* Am not to use animate object on siege weaponry.
* or on the traps in my secret volcano lair. {{scrubbed}}
*Our mouseguards are not to have the goal ‘Raft all our enemies”
*Particularly if I actually go through with it and make a raft out of the shrike we just killed.
* While using the action cards given, cannot play the attack card in face-up position.
* Or the defend card, in face down position. {{scrubbed}}
*Cannot play a mouse with 5 ranks in pathfinder and zero in scout.
*Especially if it’s a sailor.
*Not to have both a monocle AND an eyepatch, even it would sorta make sense.
*Using a fishing hook as a grappling hook is okay in mouseguard, and ONLY mouseguard, size categories be dammed.
* If one player gets a bonus skillpoint for quacking while using duckwise, that does not mean I get a bonus skillpoint for clacking every time I use crabwise.
*Even if it is an injoke/meme, screaming out “CRAAAAAAAB” will likewise not give me this bonus.
* Heroically posing, with arms folded and my cape flapping in the non-existent wind it to be kept at a maximum of once/session.
*Just because journeys are resolved through the conflict mechanics does not mean I can claim I have slain the weather with a cunning feint.
*…Cannot heroically pose atop the weather.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
*Any organic characters must be male or female, and do not have the gender option of “neither”
** May not play a mind flayer, beholder or nematode just to get around this rule.
***My mind flayer character can not force will saves against insanity or blindness by flashing people.
*No using control winds and control weather just to create good conditions to pose in.
*The half orc barbarian with 6 int cannot invent a camera of any kind to take pictures of said poses.
*Even if my half orc barbarian has high cha to boost his intimidate checks, I cannot be a beauty queen.
Thog too pretty for jail!
*The party rogue did not once dream of being a masseuse.
*No matter how friendly my character is, I cannot point out that the mugger's form is all wrong and proceed to give him tips.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not begin each encounter with the words "R-E-A-D-Y FIGHT!"
** Administering a Coup De Graz to a fallen opponent is not to be preluded by the words "FINISH HIM"
***nor may my charecter claim this as his catchphrase if he is Finnish
*My charecter's first name is not Leroy
*His last name is not Jenkins
*Nor is it Gibbs
*Summon instrument does not permit my bard to drop pianos on his enemies
**tubas and drumsets are also right out.
***NO! even if it is a part of the 1812 Overature as written, a cannon is not a musical instrument.
*Due to my engineering experiance and the resulting methodology of problemsolving that I appy, I may no longer play any of the folowing classes
Wizard
Sourceror
Bard
Druid
Cleric
Psionic
Paladin
Commoner
Warlock
Anything else with magic or psyonics
*Physics (applied or theoretical), calculus, chemistry, Engineering (all disciplines), and Biology textbooks are no longer permitted at a gaming session.
*if my plan involves more than two greek letters, No.
__________________
Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by eulmanis12
* I may not begin each encounter with the words "R-E-A-D-Y FIGHT!"
** Administering a Coup De Graz to a fallen opponent is not to be preluded by the words "FINISH HIM"
***nor may my charecter claim this as his catchphrase if he is Finnish
*My charecter's first name is not Leroy
*His last name is not Jenkins
*Nor is it Gibbs
*Summon instrument does not permit my bard to drop pianos on his enemies
**tubas and drumsets are also right out.
***NO! even if it is a part of the 1812 Overature as written, a cannon is not a musical instrument.
*Due to my engineering experiance and the resulting methodology of problemsolving that I appy, I may no longer play any of the folowing classes
Wizard
Sourceror
Bard
Druid
Cleric
Psionic
Paladin
Commoner
Warlock
Anything else with magic or psyonics
*Physics (applied or theoretical), calculus, chemistry, Engineering (all disciplines), and Biology textbooks are no longer permitted at a gaming session.
*if my plan involves more than two greek letters, No.
play something form TOB and/or incarnum
anyway,
*I may not use the social skills in such a way that i end the campaign without a single combat taking place, even if that's what my character would do...
* That's it, i am hereby officially forbidden to utilise diplomacy if i have a total modifier of +10
*Yes, this is my last chance of every using diplomacy again...
__________________ "Where do promiscious fillies go?" - Awesome Tyrion Ponytar by Elemental
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy
** May not play a mind flayer, beholder or nematode just to get around this rule.
***My mind flayer character can not force will saves against insanity or blindness by flashing people.
****May not get a symbol of insanity as a tattoo to get around this rule.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to play a lightning mage called cole mcrath.
*A shapeshifter ranger named alex mercer is worse.
*Blitzcrank the warforged is right out.
*NO MORE VIEDO GAME CHARACTERS!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
If the DM says that this is just set-up story for everything else so we don't need to roll anything yet, that does not mean kill the BBEG as soon as you see him.
If I try this, I have to allow him to get away somehow.
__________________
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Artemis Frerin in Team Rocket by Arcran
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* My characters can never (again) have the ability to perform ventriloquism by any means.
* My half-orc barbarian is not allowed to rename the paladin's horse "Breakfast" (or any other meal or food reference).
* Just because dismembering the big-bad-evil-guy, burning each part in a separate fire, mixing the ashes from each part into a separate block of cement, and dropping each block of cement into different oceans is "the only way to be sure", doesn't mean it's necessary.
__________________
Frolic and dance for joy often.
Be determined in your ventures.
-KAB
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerrin
* Just because dismembering the big-bad-evil-guy, burning each part in a separate fire, mixing the ashes from each part into a separate block of cement, and dropping each block of cement into different oceans is "the only way to be sure", doesn't mean it's necessary.
**If it is actually neccessary, I will not defer doing so for budget reasons.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* My ranger's animal companion is not a dinozord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a thunderzord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a ninjazord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a shogunzord.
* I may no longer play a ranger.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* May not role-play myself out of the party during the first session… and the second session… and the third session… and twice during the fourth session.
** May not have more than 2 replacement characters already rolled up, ready to play at a moment's notice.
*** Especially when I know that there won't be any encounters this session.
__________________
Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
