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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay R
* My ranger's animal companion is not a dinozord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a thunderzord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a ninjazord.
* My ranger's animal companion is not a shogunzord.
* I may no longer play a ranger.
*druid is right out
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy
I read that as "My ranger's animal companion is not a druid". It was better that way.
I agree completely.
*If a campaign begins with a mob of skeletons attacking civilians, I am supposed to kill the skeletons with minimum civilian casualties, not vice versa.
*I am not to prepare only fire-based spells when we are attacking the temple of the goddess of fire.
__________________ If the above makes no sense, I probably did that on purpose. Probably.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Witch-King
THIS aberrant, ancient evil ain't no playa! I'm gonna take care of my little Meduthids and my Spawnling Mama! Besides which--the Old Ones know the Elder Brain keeps pestering me about giving it some Grandspawnlings...
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimonite
I agree completely.
*If a campaign begins with a mob of skeletons attacking civilians, I am supposed to kill the skeletons with minimum civilian casualties, not vice versa.
*I am not to prepare only fire-based spells when we are attacking the temple of the goddess of fire.
*Backburning does not work on fire elementals.
*Running one over with a fire truck would work, but that is not why you have to start the fire department.
* There is no such thing as a magically enchanted fire extinguisher.
*This also applies to toasters, and I am not to use one as a meteor hammer.
* Unless it's made of starmetal, cannot use meteors as hammers either.
* While we have already gone over the wielding of natural weapons, it is nerveless appropriate to say that our mouse-guards EPCIALLAY cannot take advantage of this.
*Our cleric cannot be multidenominational.
* The flying spagetti monster is not part of the pantheon.
* Neither is Vesta.
* Especially if you take the domains 'hearth and home' and twist them into the single domain "arson."
*Sun wukong may be part of A pantheon, but you still can't worship him.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
* The flying spagetti monster is not part of the pantheon.
* Neither is Vesta.
* Especially if you take the domains 'hearth and home' and twist them into the single domain "arson."
*Sun wukong may be part of A pantheon, but you still can't worship him.
*Optimus Prime is not the deity of warforged paladins.
*Nor is Megatron the deity of warforged blackguards.
*My warforged is not Optimus Prime.
*Nor is he Megatron.
*No, the secret of making warforged is not the AllSpark.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No matter how tone-deaf my character is, I will restrain myself from wailing and belting out terrible songs while I am at the table
**And while I'm in the next room
***And, in the summer when the windows are open, while I'm in the neighborhood
****I may no longer have characters who sing
*No matter what my character wields, "STOP! Hammer Time!" is never an appropriate battle cry
*"Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red dawn" may be a great battle cry, but I may not use it anytime after noon
*I may only say "For Mako" or "For Lu Ten" once per session, and we will immediately adjourn to mourn individually.
*Even if the Packers are playing the next day, my character will not put a large piece of cheese on his head
*The warforged is not a Borg and does not understand me yelling about resistance being futile.
*I may not go around telling elf/human couples to use birth control because half-elves are worthless
**Especially not in front of the half-elf sorcerer in our party
***It doesn't matter whether its true or not
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elemental
*The rules concerning improvised tools are so you can use a hair clip to pick a lock, not so you can use a spoon as a blacksmith's hammer.
* Using a spoon as a pipe organ is right out.
** Using a masterwork spoon to negate the penalty will get the DMG thrown at me.
*** I may not use the DMG as a pipe organ either.
*** Using it as a blacksmith's hammer is okay though, and in fact it counts as masterwork for that purpose.
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Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Firing the tank at the dinosaur is a great idea!
**...Where's that -6 to attack coming from?
***Ooooh....You're firing the tank at the dinosaur...
*I am not allowed to play any character whose strength score would imply having biceps bigger than a human head.
**Especially if that character is himself human.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flickerdart
Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beowulf DW
*I am not allowed to play any character whose strength score would imply having biceps bigger than a human head.
**Especially if that character is himself human.
* My character my not have a giant bicep for a head.
** Or a pair of heads for biceps.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
-I cannot mix alchemical fire and holy water to a signle double-sized flask and call it "divine wrath"
-nor will it have the effect of both.
-same is true for acid and unholy water.
-alchemical silver cannot be used as a grenade-like-weapon against lycanthropes.
-STOP MESSING ALCHEMICAL ITEMS!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may no longer bluff my way into having the cleric believe I'm not a rogue just for free heals and the like
** I may no longer steal the cleric's arrows until they have nothing to do all combat
*** (On that note,) I may no longer harass the cleric no matter how nice they really are
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages
why would the cleric not heal you if you're a rogue? seems rather an odd sentiment, and counter productive too
He likes casting lots of different spells which is odd and we have a couple of other people who can and will heal so it doesn't matter all that much. My rogue just doesn't trust the other party members as much.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
In Exalted
* The Mask of Winters does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
* The First and Forsaken Lion does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
* The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears seduces the heroes, not the other way around
** Even if she is unbelievably sexy
* Just because I (the hero) rescued the Scarlet Empress (the girl) from the Ebon Dragon (the dragon, duh) doesn't mean I get to lay her
** Even if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
*** ESPECIALLY if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
-I may not say "Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu" to kill off myself or the party.
--I may not counter the aforementioned Pazuzu summoning with "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice".
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade Dragon
In Exalted
* The Mask of Winters does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
* The First and Forsaken Lion does not call renegade abyssals "rebel scum" and/or "traitors to the Empire"
* The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears seduces the heroes, not the other way around
** Even if she is unbelievably sexy
* Just because I (the hero) rescued the Scarlet Empress (the girl) from the Ebon Dragon (the dragon, duh) doesn't mean I get to lay her
** Even if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
*** ESPECIALLY if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
On that note, I'm gonna post a few of my own, although they may/may not be you are supposed to do in exalted.
*Cannot perform the Creation-slaying Oblvion kick on the basis of the idea that if I do it, the deathlords can't.
*Cannot cure the great curse with any of the following: sufficiently advanced medical treatment, sufficiently advanced martial arts, or sufficiently advanced lovemaking.
**It goes without saying that this applies to sufficiently advanced basket-weaving, too.
*** Cannot attempt to get around this my making a charm for a bright-slap, allowing the use of both sufficiently advanced medicine and marital arts at the same time.
**** “Tying the offending solar to a wall, while giving them a freezing-cold shower and repeatedly applying a cricket-bat to their gronch” is not sufficiently advanced, or even advanced, medicine.
*Even if a sidereal, cannot literally kick reason to the curb.
*Even if you are a courtier focusing on social charms, exaltations of any kind will not be handed out for sexual acts so perverse that it makes the god’s heads tilt.
*Not to create a perfectly saintly and noble character who made an infernal pact wtih the ebon dragon for the sole purpose of rubbing it in his face.
**Even if it is a REALLY impressive **** move, it will still make me acquire torment.
*Not to bite the hand that exalted me.
*Cannot force the neverborn to reincarnate by nailing them to the wheel of reincarnation.
**Even if I somehow grab ALL of the gods at once and ram them into a wall reputedly, cannot force Yu-Shan to create a mechanic allowing the Neverborn to reincarnate.
*** Repeating the same trick with the Yozis and Malfeas, while cathartic, will not help.
* Cannot hit a corpse so hard that they come back to life.
**This will not work with the Neverborn either.
*There is no Fus-Roh-Dah charm, and the dragonborn aren’t that kind of dragonborn.
* Cannot explain to the dragon-blooded that technically, the Green Sun princes ARE demons possessing a human shape, and that they should kill THEM, and leave solars/lunars well enough alone.
**Cannot do this while carrying an infernal exalted in my left hand and using him as an prop.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*Not to bite the hand that exalted me.
You haven't heard of dem renegade Abyssals and Infernals?
Quote:
*Cannot force the neverborn to reincarnate by nailing them to the wheel of reincarnation.
Why didn't I think of that!?
Quote:
* Cannot explain to the dragon-blooded that technically, the Green Sun princes ARE demons possessing a human shape, and that they should kill THEM, and leave solars/lunars well enough alone.
But Infernals are awesome! They're called the rockstars of Hell! Plus, they're more like the primordials than the demons, since essence 10 Infernals ARE primordials. They can make armies out of nothing and become infinitely big.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade Dragon
* Just because I (the hero) rescued the Scarlet Empress (the girl) from the Ebon Dragon (the dragon, duh) doesn't mean I get to lay her
** Even if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
*** ESPECIALLY if her beauty is outmatched only by The Lover Clad in Raiment Tears and a couple others in the entirety of existence
I'm confused. What part of this DOESN'T sound perfectly reasonable in Exalted?
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*under no circumstance will I ever be allowed to turn a dragon into a dragon-slaying spear and then use it to kill it's children. It's just plain mean.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*When rescuing farmers from a magical drought, I may not buy their land beforehand at ridiculously low prices and then sell it back to them after we save them for the normal value.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbane
I'm confused. What part of this DOESN'T sound perfectly reasonable in Exalted?
Well, this is assuming I'm playing an Anathema and that it's before we start restoring the government and getting everything cleared about the Anathema. Including the facts that we're supposed to lord over the dragon-blooded and eventually go insane (which is why my characters want to restore the government as a republic, and then leave to wander so they can't become blinded to the mortal's lives).
Maybe I should've said "I may not rescue the Scarlet Empress solely so I can lay her".
* The FaFL is not my father
** The Mask of Winters is not my father
*** I may not name my character Skywalker
* No keychains
** Or keyblades
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not convince party member to play a human Bardblade if I'm playing a warforged rogue focused on sniping.
**Convincing someone else to play a Crucian Psychic Warrior ubercharger is right out.
*** As is the Katori artificer.
****And the Elf Psion.
*I may not play a warforged rogue focused on sniping.
__________________ Avatar crafted by «The Wonderful Avatarist», «Ceika».
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord_Gareth
The Next Round: Hundreds of the Guardians of Time show up and one of them screams out, "THIS IS AN UNSANCTIONED VIOLATION OF SPACE-TIME."
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* In Exalted, when in a First Age flying vehicle and knocked off course so we start heading towards the sun, I may not peer at it and say "that's no sun, that's a space station"
** Or a battle station
*** Even though it is
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
