The one-piece D20 system has released a beta! Let’s celebrate it’s glitchyness before they fix it! *ahem*
Reasons Great Captain Doorhandle is no longer allowed to be on the grand line:
*Arrrs, Arrghs, and yohohos are to be kept to 3/session each.
*The one-piece is not, in fact, a Speedo.
* No matter what Franky wants to think.
* The east blue is not a low-level tutorial zone.
* The new-world is not a high-level raid dungeon.
*Cannot have the goal of going to the grand-line in order to “level-grind”
*while little is actually stopping your swordsman from dual-wielding Zoro-style or Masumeme-style, I am to be aware that there is little benefit for additional swords beyond the first.
* So using 20 is just ASKING for a nutpunch.
*Swordchucks are right ou- actually they fit right in, go ahead.
*there is not a class called the Mohawk, nor one called the Budgie Smuggler.
*Just because Oda gives anyone more impressive than a mook a back-story and motivations doesn’t mean you G.M will, so stop poking the NPCs!
*If I am playing a colossal-size giant, can’t volunteer to be the boat.
* Even if I’m a cyborg giant with all the necessary facilities.
*Cannot convince the entire crew to all play fishmen or merpeople, and just swim from island to island.
*there is no such thing as the “Davy Jones' Lockeroom” where all the attractive merpeople get changed, and it cannot be my goal to find it.
* There is no method by which you can make a sea king your mount, giant or no.
*Making a sea-king CHARIOT is right out, even if you use the entire boat!
* Kuja may not know where babies come from or what this earth thing called kissing is, but even so I am not to tell every one I meet this at great length.
*Demonstrating is right out.
*Kuja snakes can be used as longbows, staves, and whips. Not muskets, bazookas, or chainsaws.
*The wonderful world of Yuri is to be forever locked away from Amazon Lily.
*fishmen do not flop like fish, although they do talk like people.
*The fishman member of the crew does not flinch at the mention of “catch of the day”.
* Also, he has nothing to do with Davey Jones, so you cans stop asking about the heart, already!
*The merman rouge does not take a penalty on bluff checks because “Something’s fishy here.”
* Sky tribesmen are not elves, even if some of them share the same stat-bonuses.
*sky-knights are not dragoons.
*Not to tell sky-tribesmen to dial it down.
*Cyborgs may or may not be full of useful devices.
*If playing a Cyborg, cannot be a gundam of any size.
* Keep the “ROKKETO PAWNCH” to a minimum, please.
*no cyborg is fueled by beer, even if one is fuelled by cola.
*cyborgs do not have a racial enmity towards those who have eaten a zoan fruit.
*Cyborgs do not have a vibrate function: it is wrong to tell Kuja this.
*The city of Armada does not reside anywhere NEAR the grand line, let alone the rest of one-piece.
*on the same note, Cyborgs are not the remade, and fishmen are not Grindlylow.
*May not take the shot-on the run feat for every feat until you can make one shot with a 20+ bonus to hit and damage, while moving 200ft while you’re at it.
* May not take whirling frenzy and rage and use them both at once, even if nothing says I can’t.
*No, that is not gear third OR second.
*If am playing a warrior, my taunt cannot be made entirely of your-mother jokes.
*My brawler is not Chuck Norris, even if he can roundhouse-kick for 3d8 extra damage.
*Before using the launch feat to toss my allies around, I am to ask if they WANT to be launched first.
*My specialist’s weapon cannot work based on troll science.
* The specialist is not a “wizzzurd.”
* My specialist’s weapon is not “her presssiousss.”
*Cannot ever make kraken cannon.
*Even if “sodgeking” means “sniper-king” and thus that means Usop is “Sniperking, king of snipers”, this does not mean my marksman can be “Gunlord, lord of guns”
*As above, cannot wield 2 guns in each hand and one in my mouth, pulling the trigger with my tongue.
*Actually, I MAY carry a cannon around for a weapon. It is, however, assumed I will shoot it and not just us it as a club.
* Even if Oda is famous for his nonsensical explanations for things like how Zoro can talk with a mouthful of sword, I am not to assume the same applies for things like, say, gravity.
*not matter how crunchy or delicious they may look, cannot use the Cook feat to kill and prepare mermaid or fishmen to eat.
* Successful cooking a shoe to eat is adequate when supplies are low on long journeys. Making it you main source of food and income is right out.
*Not to learn how to cook gold to save hull-space after a successful venture.
*Cannot make a Devil-fruit smoothie, and it is assumed drinking it will kill me rather than getting all their powers combined.
* The only safe way to cook devil fruit is to leave it in a broth with a rock for 3 weeks, stirring it vigorously with an eggwhisk thrice a day, and then eating the rock.
* Cannot cook and eat c’thulhu.
* If someone is playing a shipwright, cannot play a shipwrong.
*My shipwright may be a relation-shipper, but he still cannot apply shipbuilding-rolls to seduction checks.
* Not matter the roll, cannot make the ship into a transforming robot.
* Cannot use coupe-de-blast to launch the ENTIRE ship at people and let velocity do the rest.
*cannot add SFX so it sounds like Shao khan is yelling “WICKEDSICK every time the burst is used.
*There is no combination of fishman karate, dials, coupe-de-blast, devil-fruit powers, cyborg powers, the Geppo feat or the launch feat that will let us launch our boat into orbit.
*chicken voyage is an emergency mauver for dodging lethal hits. It is not to be used to sneak into a parking line before anyone else.
*The beam attack is not a wave-motion gun, a starlight breaker, or a Hadoken.
*not to use the beam on every foe we come across.
*Cannot attack a smaller ship to the top of a larger ship so that we can shoot 2 beams at once.
* Cannot build an aircraft-carrier for the purpose of launching smaller-ships at people.
*Yes, you may launch your friends out of cannons. However, there is NO cannon big enough to launch a whole ship at someone.
*I make a giant cannon, it is assumed it launches giant cannonballs and not giants (unless the giant is one of your aforementioned friends.)
*Cannons may not shoot cannons.
*I am not to consider the ramifications of making Gatling-cannon.
* May not make a cannon so big it that the boat is a ship attached to a cannon, and not the other-way round.
*even if it would fit with the setting, making any cannon inspired by worms: forts under siege is vetoed.
*Mahogany may be the wood with the most D.R, but even so it is not from the 300-ft fire-breathing trees of Malchior 7, or infused with the blood runes of it’s people.
*Thus the ship cannot warp reality, even if it is nigh-indestructible.
* Archaeologists do not have whip-proficiency by default.
*If I am a marine, not to ask how wearing the uniform somehow gives me a better armour bonus than the guy in full plate.
*I am not a “spesss” marine and I have not “fehild the emperor.”
*If I am playing a marine in a group of pirates or vice-versa, not to rub it into my nakama’s faces all the time.
* There are no ninja, and they are not “always chaotic evil”
* Pirates do not have “favoured enemy: ninja”… but that should REALLY be a feat for them.
* Cannot do what I want in ignorance of Rule 0 ‘cause a pirate is FREE!
*Loosing redundant limbs or facial features does not cause a pirate to gain power based on the number of organs lost.
* Not to insist on being introduced as "Captain Jack sparrow."
*cannot put ranks in “Captain Jack sparrow.”
*The musician cannot have Perform: (metal), and the DON! Feat does not work by melting the enemies’ face off.
*Even if you bring Alestorm music track to the table.
*if I am a scientist, I can learn to make seastone. Not allowed to make armour out of the stuff.
*Genetically engineering devil fruit is an exercise in suicide.
* Inanimate objects can somehow eat devil-fruit, yes. This does not mean I can feed a fruit to a fruit so you can fruit while you fruit, you fruit.
*not to rig the devil-fruit random-selection process by filing it with synonyms of the word “god.”
*there is no fruit-fruit fruit and it cannot let me extrude devil fruit in turn.
*neither devil-fruit nor a fruit-user are “magically delicious.”
*Not to carry about a devil-fruit with the sole intention of feeding it to the next fruit-user I find, thus killing him.
*feeding it to a fishman or mermaid is against the Geneva Convention.
*As a Kuja, cannot feed a devil-fruit to my Kuja snake and THEN use it as a bazooka.
*Cannot gain the power “screw with the D.M”
*If I eat the sea-stone sea-stone fruit, it is assumed I collapse into a paralytic fit and die, not that I become a godless killing machine capable of destroying mortal and fruit-user alike.
* If I eat a logia fruit and thus can become liquid, this does not mean I can hide in a soda bottle. Or in hand-sanitizer. Or in a toilet.
*…Or inside someone’s delicious squishmeats.
*Not to contemplate the ramifications of staying in the squishmeats for too long. In addition, your G.M now needs to eat the bleach-bleach fruit.
*Cannot have the seawater logia fruit. THAT’S CHEATING!
*Logia fruits do not work like the cursed-springs of Ranma one-half, and thus I will not change back after being splashed with water.
* Cannot have any of the logia elements following: Base, surprise, Orange-transparent chainsaw, oestrogen, laser, cheese, or Mohawk.
* I do not need to get one logia fruit user of every element together to summon captain planet.
*Cannot have the “theft-theft fruit.” That one has already been stolen by Carmen Sandieago, anyway.
*May not eat the punch-punch fruit, or the beefsteak-mc-manly fruit.
* The heart-heart fruit isn’t useless! So stop whining!
*If I eat a Zoan fruit it does not make me a furry.
*In this vein, there is not such thing as a “brony-brony fruit.”
*There are not 649 different zoan fruits in the world, and you do not have to “catch-them-all.”
*Zoan fruits can be based on dinosaurs and creatures from myth. This does not mean you can have the “Beholder-beholder” fruit or the “Godzilla Godzilla fruit.” (Although that could be awesome…)
*If I eat the narwhal-narwhal fruit, it does not give me “a kickass facial horn” or make me “The Jedi of the sea,” although I may beat a polar-bear in a fight or stop C’thlhu eating ye.
* Not to question the point of having a zoan fruit that lets you turn into a fish.
* Cannot ask a fruit-user “have you tried… not eating a devil fruit?”
* Fruit users are not lemmings, even if Luffy, Chopper, and Brook have proven otherwise.
Find it here! And find more game-breakers too, it still needs some beta-testing.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
