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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not use calculus as a metaphor for anything in DnD. Even if I use it properly, the odds that the person I am talking to will pick up on it, understand it, and properly be able to use it themselves is too slim.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No matter how much it may have seemed like a "Good idea at the time", making a pact with a red dragon is not such. At best, I might be cursed with some major disability, and soul linked to a creature that is typically high up on the "Things to kill" list of adventurers and questing knights. At worst, I'm it's next meal.
*Note To self: Werewolf Curse in Skyrim = Awesome. Werewolf Curse anywhere else= being hunted down and/or burned at the stake
*No matter how much I shout words in Draconic, they won't give me any special powers.
*Shooting a party member in the knee with an arrow is neither "funny" nor a solution to handling my party arguments
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* If we are playing by encumbrance rules, I must remember that there are effects for different levels of weight.
** This means that I can't walk around with a light or a heavy load just fine, and become totally immobile if I pick up an ounce over my heavy load.
*** No, this does not mean that I can still walk around at half speed even if I'm carrying 10 tons of junk on my back…
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
* If we are playing by encumbrance rules, I must remember that there are effects for different levels of weight.
** This means that I can't walk around with a light or a heavy load just fine, and become totally immobile if I pick up an ounce over my heavy load.
*** No, this does not mean that I can still walk around at half speed even if I'm carrying 10 tons of junk on my back…
****No carrying items in a trashcan does NOT mitigate this. (Totally does. Not kidding try it in your fallout or elder scrolls of choice.)
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Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke.
Thread wins: 1
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may no longer make villains with higher moral standards than my PCs.
* I am definitely no longer allowed to use aforementioned moral standards to cause PvP.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilingsworth
Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel
*My plan for world domination is not to buy and handpick all the crops in the world only to sell them back to the farmers.
**I already have ten thousand cabbages, I need something to do with them.
***Dropping them off the highest mountain on the continent and screaming "CABALANCHE" Is not cool.
*Replacing cabbages with all movable items in existence and a few permanently stationary ones is just mean. (Buy ALL the property!)
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Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke.
Thread wins: 1
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Combining all game science to create a helicoptor just so that I can float it a few feet above a an unsuspecting soul, jump out and scream "HELLO-COPTOR!" before the fiery explosion kill them is...awesome.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel
*Combining all game science to create a helicoptor just so that I can float it a few feet above a an unsuspecting soul, jump out and scream "HELLO-COPTOR!" before the fiery explosion kill them is...awesome.
** House Lyandar airships are not helicopters.
*** I may not make the BBEG have an extendable tentacle-arm for the sole purpose of latching onto the airships, hijacking them in midair, then crashing them into things.
**** Know what? Just don't base anything off of Prototype anymore.
Anyone knows blue is for sarcas'ing in · Use of gray may indicate nitpicking · Green is sincerity · "Take 10 SAN damage from Dark Orchid"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* When the BBEG makes his 'we can rule together' speech/offer thing, the correct answer is not 'hmm, actually, that makes sense. OK then.'
(Dark Heresy, where the plot was supposed to be that our Inquisitorial master had gone too far. Only when he explained his motives and actions, my character concluded that he was actually right and promptly betrayed the rest of the party)
* I am no longer allowed to corrupt the paladin into worshipping Asmodeus through nought more than careful reasoning. No matter how funny it is.
* If a fellow party member has fallen in a pit of acid, I am to get him out immediately, not wait to see if he asks for help. This applies even if I am evil and he is a paladin.
(He was apparently attempting to redeem me by getting me to perform an unasked for act of charity. Just sat there in the acid, slowly dissolving, not saying a word. Eventually I got him out, but the ranger had to threaten me into doing it, so it didn't count)
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maugan Ra
(He was apparently attempting to redeem me by getting me to perform an unasked for act of charity. Just sat there in the acid, slowly dissolving, not saying a word. Eventually I got him out, but the ranger had to threaten me into doing it, so it didn't count)
pffft, thats not an act of charity. thats an act of preserving the meat shield so you don't get inured...
__________________ love of mine, someday you will die,
and I'll be close behind
to follow you into the dark
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My party cannot be a group of bards called the S men armed with rapiers just to give us the excuse to open every battle with "Lock S Foils in attack Position"
*I may not take weapon proficiency (whip) and fear (snakes) in the same character
*My character may never say, "Use the Force"
** he may not circumvent this by saying "Use the Mass x Accelleration"
*force choke is not a spell in DnD
*I can't have a +42 longsword
**it is not red
***nor can I have black armor, a black cape, black helmet, and breathing problems
*my shapshifter may not open each battle with "Hulk Smash"
*I do not get to shout "Finish Him" before each coup de grace
*I may not have a young sidkick named short round
*I may not take ranks in profession (archeologist)
*I may not have a walking carpet as a sidekick
**May not engage in bilingual dialog with him
*My Father's name is not Harry, nor is my name Ford. Thus I may not introduce myself as "Harry's son Ford"
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Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
My two bladed sword kensai/acrobat may not place brilliant energy on both of the blades.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may no longer engage in the mass mind rape of the citizens of an allied nation without the consent of said nation and its allies.
**Convincing said nation and its allies that the act was morally justified after the fact is to be considered poor form.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Half-dragon half-ogres are not a valid race choice. Especially if you try to then take aberrant feats. Only mongrelfolk are allowed to be that much of a mutt.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to stack templates just to spite whatever dm is using the above rule.
__________________
Most people see a half orc and and think barbarian warrior. Me on the other hand? I think secondary trap handler and magic item tester. Also I'm not allowed to trick the next level one wizard into starting a fist fight with a house cat no matter how annoying he is.
Yes I know it's sarcasm. It's a joke.
Thread wins: 1
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockphed
Is there an explanation for this? I feel like I should know it.
Wallace and Gromit, much? Probably could have added "Mustn't make complex Rube-Goldberg-esk machines to do everyday tasks" and "Can't have a penguin who disguises as a chicken as an arch rival"…
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Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* wiping out a small island miles away is not an acceptable method of intimidating someone
** Especially not if the person I'm tyring to intimidate asks me to prove I did so
*** Especially, especially not to repeate procedure centered on myself to prove I did so...
**** I am not allowed near casters and/or intimidate
__________________ love of mine, someday you will die,
and I'll be close behind
to follow you into the dark
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by planswalker
* I may not use calculus as a metaphor for anything in DnD. Even if I use it properly, the odds that the person I am talking to will pick up on it, understand it, and properly be able to use it themselves is too slim.
** Quantum Field Theory is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
