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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by planswalker
If you think this could make a fusion bomb in our world, you clearly don't understand the science behind one.
I don't think that this could produce a fusion bomb. I do know that it will provide hydrogen which is one of many requirements of the fusion bomb. I know that this is not enough, I also know that the look on the dm's face when the party artificer did just that justified me keeping my mouth shut about what I do know about physics.
For the record I do not claim to know more than the basics of how a fusion bomb works. Nor do I claim to be capable of building one. If I were capable, I would not be discussing it on an internet forum anyway for fear that the black helicopters would descend on my house
*I may not become king
*if I do become king I may not make the official written language of my kingdom be Explosive Runes, even though this would result in much less paperwork.
*I might hold a degree in mechanical engineering in real life, my barbarian does not, as such he may not engineer solutions to every problem encountered.
*A cannon is not a "wheeled lockpick"
*If asked for my invitation to a party that I was not invited to my response cannot be to blow up the building.
*If despite all of my lawbreaking the town guard refuses to attempt to arrest me due to the fear of what I did to the last set of guards to try it, my alignment will be set at chaotic evil.
*the folowing shows are no longer permitted to influence my charecter:
Monty Python, Star Wars, Star Trek, Spaceballs, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Indiana Jones, Hogan's Heroes, Get Smart, Robin Hood, anything that ever at any point appeared on telivision, or in written literature, or in cave paintings.
* I must stop referencing other works
*my character may not have a catchphrase
*My bard may never again say this line or any variation therof, "What do you mean violence isn't the answer? I find two things wrong with that statment, the negative and the grammar. Of course violins are the answer." (folowed by hitting the BBEG over the head with a violin)
**repeating this horrible pun ever again will result in me being beaten to death with a chello.
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Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may no longer describe the scene in David Attenborough's voice.
** The same goes for Morgan Freeman
*** Ditto for James Earl Jones, Hal Douglas, Mike Rowe, Alan Alda…
**** You know what, if I try to describe a scene as any actor or narrator, the players are now allowed to punch me in the throat.
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Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
My dwarves must stop speaking in German accents.
Elves do not all sound like gay Brits.
The PC elf in the party does not count for this count
Catfolk do not speak with a French accent.
Goblinoids do not all speak like Scottish pirates.
Kobolds do not have Australian accents.
I am no longer allowed to do voices while DM'ing.
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Avatar courtesy of Thormag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Last edited by Techwarrior : 07-14-2012 at 02:39 AM.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Techwarrior
My dwarves must stop speaking in German accents.
Elves do not all sound like gay Brits.
The PC elf in the party does not count for this count
Catfolk do not speak with a French accent.
Goblinoids do not all speak like Scottish pirates.
Kobolds do not have Australian accents.
I am no longer allowed to do voices while DM'ing.
*I may not base the dwarf king's accent on Fat Bastard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Techwarrior
My dwarves must stop speaking in German accents.
Elves do not all sound like gay Brits.
The PC elf in the party does not count for this count
Catfolk do not speak with a French accent.
Goblinoids do not all speak like Scottish pirates.
Kobolds do not have Australian accents.
I am no longer allowed to do voices while DM'ing.
Also, swapping languages because I know the party didn't know the language is rude. Particularly if I do so more than three times a sentence
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Avatar courtesy of Thormag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Cannot base my artificer on Doctor Insano
** Or Doktor Sleepless for that matter
*** Cannot combine Bard and Artificer and base him on Doctor Horrible
**** Basing him on Doctor Steel is right out.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My character's ethos cannot be "because I'm a prick."
** Not even if he's NE.
***The best use of my standard action is not "to screw over as many people as possible."
*I cannot use Alter Self to trick the Paladin into sleeping with me.
**Especially if he's conservative
***If said Paladin refuses to enter conjugal relations before marriage, I may not devote all my effort to tricking him into marrying me.
****If I do break the above rules, my overall goal is not to make him fall.
*****If this results in my death, I deserve everything I get.
*****+If the (ex)Paladin failed to see through a plan that spent five minutes in the sun on a hot day and got called dinner, he deserves everything he got.
******If anyone understands the above idiom, they deserve a cookie.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
**** You know what, if I try to describe a scene as any actor or narrator, the players are now allowed to punch me in the throat.
* Must not point out that legendary British monologer Ronnie Corbett is, technically, none of those things due to being retired....
** Also that Pee-Wee Herman is the character, not the actor.
* Must not challenge the DM's decisions by calling his wife in from the other room and having her harangue him until he relents.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Even if my Villain is a master of disguise he cannot pretend to be a super hero known as the "Human Sub"
**Even if he is dressed as a sub sandwich and has two condiment guns that shoot mayo and mustard.
**Also cannot pretend to be KungFu Chicken Noodle, a man who fights crime ever since he was trapped inside a large soup can.
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Haggis is Sheep's stomach filled with its intestines.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jivundus
*****+If the (ex)Paladin failed to see through a plan that spent five minutes in the sun on a hot day and got called dinner, he deserves everything he got.
******If anyone understands the above idiom, they deserve a cookie.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* As a DM I cannot justify all the dungeons being filled with tons of loot due to "on every June 25th the anti-santa delivers presents to all the evil girls and boys".
** An exception to the above rule will be made if the normal santa gives gifts to the heroes when december 25th comes around.
*** As a player if the anti-santa exists, I may not hunt down his workshop and just rob him.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morithias
* As a DM I cannot justify all the dungeons being filled with tons of loot due to "on every June 25th the anti-santa delivers presents to all the evil girls and boys".
** An exception to the above rule will be made if the normal santa gives gifts to the heroes when december 25th comes around.
*** As a player if the anti-santa exists, I may not hunt down his workshop and just rob him.
It is however fully acceptable to make this a BBEG masterpaln only to be averted/corrected by sad heroes.
__________________ "Where do promiscious fillies go?" - Awesome Tyrion Ponytar by Elemental
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame of Anor
What's wrong with the happy ones?
The happy ones are the evil ones… although I'm sure they'd like to kill Anti-Santa as well so they can hoard all the evil people's goodies for themselves
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Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*There is no badass santa that gives gifts to whomever impresses him.
** Yes there is, her name is the GM. I'll happily give a reward for player creativity!
*** "Reward for player creativity" may or may not consist of falling rocks.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flame of Anor
Because it's half-baked?
And the cookie is won.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Socratov
It is however fully acceptable to make this a BBEG masterpaln only to be averted/corrected by sad heroes.
*This is not an excuse to use a certain Dr Seuss book as the plotline.
*No, your bard doesn't habitually speak in rhyme.
**Especially if he's an Awakened Anthropomorphic cat.
***If you must break the above rule, under no circumstances may he wear a hat or cast Conjuration [Summoning] spells.
****That's it. Dactylic trimetre for all dialogue, no exceptions.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If the key to defeating the BBEG is the power of friendship, I must learn to accept that my players are doomed to failure.
** This includes if their backstories say they are friends.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilingsworth
Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not make Glasses of Disguise using the alternate body slot rules for magic items.
** Said glasses do not provide my extremely well known, super strength character with a secret identity.
*** Especially if all it does is change my brightly colored leotard into a suit, brush my hair back, and make it so I'm wearing a pair of glasses…
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Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I must have "Common" (English) as a known language, even if I could proficiently speak an entire game of D&D in another language
** Having this proficiency means you have to use it
* If you want to play as a construct, you aren't allowed to have said construct develop "feelings for other characters"
** Extended to other constructs as well
* Just because the game is "non-serious" or "just for laughs" doesn't mean you can make a monk who's only form of combat is removing clothing from all enemies in order to humiliate them
* Having a fighter who is "suspicious of magic" doesn't allow you to threaten to kill every caster in the party whenever they cast a spell
** I am no longer allowed to cause lethal damage to my fellow party members (without reasonable cause)
*** Reasonable cause is now up to a vote put solely to the entire party
*A mount with a burrow speed isn't able to be ridden while burrowing
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
