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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
As a female halfling dragoon fighter...
*I may not out-intimidate the half orc samurai. It hurts his feelings
*I may not team up with a Tengu dragonrider solely to gain free use of a mount and free rides places.
*I may not tell the male members of the party to "grow a set" when approached by an overpowering force.
*I may not use the Leaping Lance feature to make a leaping charge from over 600 feet in the air on top of my target.
*adding in a long length of chain and have the aforementioned dragonrider effectively "slingshot" me in is right out.
*crunching out the mounted charge damage and the added impact damage, plus the dragon's damage for technically also throwing me, will result in lost lunches and requests for soda money.
*Realizing that this move effectively combines the "throw the halfling" and "orbital strike" tactics discussed in theory all the time does not make it okay. Only awesome.
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It's intense fury commands me to end you!
Take this!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Techwarrior
If the fresh level 1 party looks at what has just happened and the resulting 'obvious explanation' involves more than a dozen double crosses, four triple crosses, and someone they aren't even sure how many times that guy has betrayed people, my DM license will be revoked.
From the same game:
If the first spell that the PC's research is Discern Lies, Greater the custom spell that works like Discern Lies, but isn't fooled by things that allow you to lie while under its effects. My DM license will be revoked again, although under the table DM'ing is encouraged by the same group.
PC: You are disgusting, keep doing this.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
Details about your campaign. Please.
Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.
Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.
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Don't open this spoiler if you value your sanity.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am no longer allowed to arrange for the execution of one of my motley mates by submitting evidence to the Crown that he is in a romantic relationship with a Fetch.
** I am also not allowed to complain when it turns out I was right and aforementioned Fetch comes after me for it.
*** Really, not expecting her father to shoot me after I killed his daughter and her boyfriend is a bit much.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilingsworth
Wow! Not only was that awesome, I think I actually kinda understand Archeron now. If all the "intermediate" outer planes got that kind of treatment, I doubt there would be anywhere near as many critics of their utility.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
If I take Improvised Weapon Proficiency, I must now select what Improvised Weapon I am proficient with, I am not proficient in all of them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by byaku rai
Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.
Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.
...It was a homestuck reference, wasn't it, Strider.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Nor may it be to test the party's sanity.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Last edited by Techwarrior : 07-28-2012 at 09:01 PM.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by byaku rai
Well, we're currently in the capitol city of [insert the DM's made-up country here >.>] doing infinite time loops as an excuse not to fight the BBEG as level 4 characters.
Bonus points for guessing which of the four characters I am.
Link, obviously. You know, because you basically just described the premise of Majora's Mask.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel
*Nor my own
* Unless it is a Call of Cthulhu game.
** When playing a CoC game, SAN is not shorthand for "sanitary" and I am not permitted to record the phrase 'napkins' at this entry.
* The BBEG does not have, and does not need, my permission to die.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
Y'know, I have ALLWAYS wanted to send a group of players to the elemental plane of candy. I mean, there's enough precedent for it in video-games....
*If I play an awakened unicorn named charlie, I will have to expect this, as well as beïng crowned king and having an aquatic adventure. I will have to take deformities (willin gor otherwise) to further the plot
__________________ "Where do promiscious fillies go?" - Awesome Tyrion Ponytar by Elemental
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
* The BBEG may NOT be Discord
* If other players make characters based on MLP cast and are expecting me to do Pinkie Pie, I can make Kratos just to piss them off. I'm however, not allowed to complain to the DM about the beating I'm going to suffer.
** After party tries to kill my character and force me to make pinkie pie, I cannot channel my inner munchkin and create guy clearly based on Asura just to kill everybody.
*** Cannot turn the game into murderous arms race with me and other guys constantly killing each other with more and more optimized characters.
**** Even if DM isn't a fan of MLP, Driving Fluttershyish-character to suicide with my tiny-veiled Spider Jerusalem is corssing the line.
***** Destroying everybody's love for the show by having their Ponylikes hunted and tortured to death by my pseudo-Piramidhead wil lget me kicked out of the game.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Man on Fire
* If other players making characters based on MLP cast and are expecting me to do Pinkie Pie, I can make Kratos just to piss them off. I'm however, not allowed to complain to the DM about the beating I'm going to suffer.
Just say you're Pinkamena and everyone will be okay with this.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I am not to point out flaws or weakpoints in my players plans/supposedly-optimized builds by using the version without them against them and smiling whilst doing so
* I am not to "help" my players upgrade their build to take the BBEG in single combat
* If My players live under the impression that killing the BBEG in early encounters equals an early win, I am not allowed to react to my players defeating the BBEG earlier than the final confrontation with glee and smiling, before shuffling through paper work and slowly pulling out a new sheet with the words "if only" written on the back
* I may not make my players to worried to act in a room with three doors for fear that one of them will kill them if all three are entierly untrapped and in fact lead to special fun stuff
* I may not use the dwarf fortress version of the term special fun stuff
* Psychology is important in games, but I am no longer allowed to use it.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* May not use a credit card for Ubercharger builds.
* The Cheater of Mystra does not involve loaded d20s.
* Jack B. Quick does not require a candlestick as part of his equipment.
* May not name my kobold character Pom-Pom.
** And he cannot take levels in bard, or Profession (Cheerleader).
* May not use an elixir of love to try and make the paladin fall.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*May not make a 9th level version of prestidigation for the sole purpose of cleaning an entire city.
**May not use it to set everything flammable in the city on fire, either.
*If I ever get the ability to make artifacts, may not make the first one a portal gun.
**An unbeatable wand, a stone of True Resurrection and a cloak that makes me completely undetectable are also out of the question.
*The far realms are not my playground.
**There's a difference between going outside to play and going Outside to play.
*If I become a thrallheard and repeatedly kill off my followers for the raw materials, I can expect to depopulate the surrounding area very quickly.
*May not planar bind Succubi or Lillitu to make an entire group of paladins fall, just because I'm bored.
*This isn't sparta.
**Not to ask how the bottomless pit got there.
***Not to begin an exploration mission to the centre of the earth through said pit.
****Not to use it as a waste disposal.
*****Not to try filling it with water.
******Not to trick the party members into thinking I succeeded.
*There's a time and a place for tactical nukes. Hand to hand combat is not one of those times or places.
**No, not even then.
*As DM, may not base campaigns on Eversion.
*The bad end may not have the lines "and they lived happily ever after" in it.
**The good end may not end with billions of people dying.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
The BBEG's plan may not involve Decanters of Endless Water in any way.
No, especially not if the plan also involves bunnies.
The BBEG may not create the custom item Decanter of Endless Lava.
I am not allowed to use Decanters of Endless anythings.
No, not even Decanters of Endless Fluffy Bunnies, nor Decan'ters of Endless Pizza.
Especially if I can't get the evil grin off of my face when I say it, due to the evil plan I have for it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No matter how in character, I may not start the game by killing half the PC's and most NPC's in the area.
*If I am not the party face, I may not speak to important NPC's.
**I must have a bonus to CHA if I am the party face.
***I may not have a bonus to CHA.
*'Nice' when dealing with NPC's may not be "Well I didn't electrocute them."
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* No longer allowed to decoy my players into false preparations through use of puns.
((1st level PCs fight a bunch of goblins and overhear them talking about "hobbies" up ahead. They charge ahead and fight a bunch of hobgoblins, and learn that there are multiple "buggies" in the building ahead. They buff for bugbear, charge in, and find a coach house.))
* No longer allowed to decoy my DM (different campaign) through use of puns.
** .... actually, NEVER WAS allowed to do this.
*** No puns. Period.
**** Why am I asking if they cramp my DM's style?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*You may not use Tenser's Floating Disk, portable holes, and several thousand Alchemist's Flask to carpet-bomb an enemy army. Or the BBEG. Or cities. In general really.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by BootStrapTommy
*You may not use Tenser's Floating Disk, portable holes, and several thousand Alchemist's Flask to carpet-bomb an enemy army. Or the BBEG. Or cities. In general really.
** May not use ring gates and Overland Flight either.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy
*May not make a 9th level version of prestidigation for the sole purpose of cleaning an entire city.
**May not use it to set everything flammable in the city on fire, either.
*If I ever get the ability to make artifacts, may not make the first one a portal gun.
**An unbeatable wand, a stone of True Resurrection and a cloak that makes me completely undetectable are also out of the question.
*The far realms are not my playground.
**There's a difference between going outside to play and going Outside to play.
*If I become a thrallheard and repeatedly kill off my followers for the raw materials, I can expect to depopulate the surrounding area very quickly.
*May not planar bind Succubi or Lillitu to make an entire group of paladins fall, just because I'm bored.
*This isn't sparta.
**Not to ask how the bottomless pit got there.
***Not to begin an exploration mission to the centre of the earth through said pit.
****Not to use it as a waste disposal.
*****Not to try filling it with water.
******Not to trick the party members into thinking I succeeded.
*There's a time and a place for tactical nukes. Hand to hand combat is not one of those times or places.
**No, not even then.
*Not to use nukes while within visual range.
*Not to empty out the entire plane of water using the bottomless pit.
*not to then traverse that plane, coop-de-grasing all the washed-up survivors and eating their meats.
*Not to empty out the plane of water into the plane of fire to destory them both.
*Paritucalry not to turn the plane of water into a cooking-pot.
**May not Use a few helms of change alignment to make an entirely new group of palladins out of planar-bound Succubi or Lillitu ethier.
Quote:
** May not use ring gates and Overland Flight either.
*Using a dragon cohort for the same purposes is also banned.
**using a lindworm and casting fly on it first is similarly disliked.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
You know, because you basically just described the premise of Majora's Mask.
