Roleplaying GamesThe all-purpose forum for general advice or system-independent (or multi-system) discussion. Come discuss adventure plots, gamemastering dilemmas, or player advice here. For ruleset-specific discussions, see the subforums.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
If I am playing the Barbarian, I may never solve any of the puzzles set by the DM.
I especially cannot solve ALL of the puzzles.
This extends to any character with a Wisdom that is less than 10.
From now on I must play Wisdom based characters.
__________________
Avatar courtesy of Thormag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by byaku rai
*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.
Shut up and take my decanter of endless money!
Quote:
** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
* The starting level of a campaign is in class-levels and not C.R. Therefore, I must play 1 lv 20 druid, and not 20 druids at lv1
** Having them pool their respective companions into 1 lv 20 companion is just rude.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by eulmanis12
*When the DM claims that something is physicaly and magically impossible, I may not take this as a challenge
*likewise I may not consider any statement along the lines of "this is the craziest plan i've ever heard" when not refering to one of my plans as a challenge
*if my character drives cthullu insane, I have done something horribly horribly wrong (read as right)
*as a barbarian with an int of 5, I may not come up with plans involving multivariable calculus in any way (with the exception of using a multivariable calculus textbook as an improvised weapon)
**As a barbarian with an int of 5 I should not be intelegent enough to come up with a plan in the first place
***in fact that character should not know what the word plan means
****I may not have characters with an int of less than 10
*if I am not a wizard or artificer, actually even if I am a wizard or artificer, my plan may not involve nuclear fusion
*If the entire list of equipment for my plan to defeat the BBEG calls for a paperclip, two ball bearings, a rubber band, sovereign glue, duct tape, an axe handle, three sewing needles, and a fork. And it works. I will be beated relentlessly with the DMG.
* I may not use magic Items to approximate walkie talkies
**I may never again use the line "This is Sierra Echo Alpha Lima Six reporting Bravo Bravo Echo Golf and 20 Tangos in grid square, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Requesting Foxtrot India Romeo Echo Bravo Alpha Lima Lima. Over." in a D&D session. Even if it makes sense with the "walkie talkies"
***I must stop assuming anyone else in my group understands the Military Alphabet
*A multivariable calculus textbook is not to be used as a weapon
**No, i just cant have a weapon of mass destruction
***are you sure you want a demonstration of the power of said textbook? Hold onto your head then
****DERP
__________________ "Where do promiscious fillies go?" - Awesome Tyrion Ponytar by Elemental
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*While subverting the Vestenmannavanjar stereotype of big, clever, fierce berserkers is fun and even encouraged, may not subvert all of them at once.
*May not speak with an outrageously faux-Norwegian accent.
*Especially not if this causes the other players to accidentally slip into the accent.
*Everythings am NOT hards for Marilli- oh DAMMIT!
*If the Bearsark advantage is purchased, the party must be informed, and it must be used more than once in the campaign in a situation BESIDES brutally murdering a random rude civilian.
*I gets it, you made an expy! Whats do you want, a be-able-to-makes-expy's awards!?
*Chickens am nots a candy.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xefas
I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
* If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Man on Fire
* Cannot ban Unarmed Swordsage just because I think the name's f@#$ing stupid.
* If I change the name of every single maneuver to something I can say with straight face I must write both names down.
* I may not consistently "forget" that FIVE SHADOW CREEPING ICE ENERVATION STRIKE is called something else now.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Objections to my most recent character, a level 1 archery-based fighter:
* The best place for a meatshield is NOT at the exact boundary of the point-blank shot feat.
** If the rest of the party almost dies by the end of the module, and I don't take a single HP of damage ever, something is wrong.
** Rogues are entitled to a flanker of they whine loud enough.
** No longer allowed to have rapid shot AND precise shot at 1st level (may have mentioned this already).
*** Not allowed to use this to one-shot (well, two-shot) a DR 5/slashing, 8 HP monster, without at least critting. It makes the DM cry.
** I am required to lose initiative at least once, even if it is to a party member.
* I am to stop arguing and admit that my character is paranoid already.
** I am not to automatically assume that The Enemy is the kindly priest that hired us to retrieve the religious artifact.
** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.
*** The Enemy does not have my money, and I am never again to say that -- or anything else -- with the same measure of wide-eyed lunacy.
**** No, wait, the priest DOES have my money, and he IS planning to pay us, he just isn't the enemy!
***** PUT YOUR WEAPON DOWN DAMMIT!
****** The intimidate skill does NOT work on party members, and I DO have to roll a die to use it, regardless of how this particular episode seems to have played out.
__________________
Nonono... I'm not an evil DM... HONEST!
============================= Private Mind, a long-form alternate history steampunk dystopian noir-detective story about telepaths, written for The CHALLENGE.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I am restricted from playing characters that the DM responds with "Yes. Do it."
Ever. No matter how awesome It is.
__________________
Avatar courtesy of Thormag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
No character of mine may shout "FALCON PUNCH!!!" for any reason.
Even a desert wind focused unarmed swordsage with the fiery fists feat.
__________________
Avatar courtesy of Thormag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
Also remember that you can have a True Neutral character that believes in things like truth and love and altruism and fluffy bunnies so long as he's willing to murder, lie, torture, and decapitate kittens to achieve them.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reltzik
** My skillset should be broader than "killing things". Also, my employment history. Yes, people count as things.
***Time is also a thing.
**** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockphed
***Time is also a thing.
**** So are ideas. Actually, if you managed to kill an Idea, you should probably list it.
***** Creating evil gods is not something you want on your employment history if you are trying to get good people to hire you.
****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not
__________________
Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Happens
* I may not ask the other PCs perfectly innocent questions that nonetheless require their players to invent backstory details on the spot.
** Especially not if said questions also expose holes in the opening premise of the campaign.
***When making up backstory on the spot I may not intentionally expose holes in the opening of the campaign.
*I may not make "invented gunpowder" a part of my backstory just so I can use gunpowder.
**This goes double for nukes
***"Invented bacon" does not make me a god.
__________________ Many thanks to Ceika for my Avatar
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* When the DM hints heavily that stepping on the obviously marked staircase will lead to death, may not go and pick up a copper my gnome bard tossed on it to check for traps.
*May not proceed to roll up an Elf Swashbuckler just to do it again.
(Haven't yet, but Jim Jones will be avenged )
__________________
One of the saddest things in the world is for a story to begin, and then end before it's time.
Rest well and in peace Grampa.
Thanks to Teutonic Knight for letting me adopt my Pikeman Avatar.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
****** Killing evil gods might help. Killing gods indiscriminately will not
* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.
* If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wraith
* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.
Wow. Now that one had never occurred to me. I mean, I don't generally play on the killing-and/or-becoming-gods level of play, but ... yeah, that's a brilliant idea that absolutely should not be done.
__________________
Avatar by Meltheim: Eveve, dwarven battlemind, 4e Dark Sun
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I Am not Allowed to enter Giantitp.com/forums and any of its under sections.
**Even through web sites that allow me to do so without doing so.
***Asking others is assumed as to be disallowed.
****My internet conection has been unplugged and all cords stolen.
*****As Have been the Computer.
******The Next attempt will result in a city wide EMP attack to prevent me from using ANY computer.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*May not point out the possibility of defending against EMP attacks.
__________________
Status: My computer has begun freezing again. Failure ETA unknown.
In progress: Various final projects. Posting may decrease in frequency.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wraith
* I may not invent Gods and found autonomous cults to worship them solely for the purpose of later hunting down and killing said Gods.
** No, not even Evil ones.
*** Under no conditions, ever, may I make a deity with the portfolio of deific inconsistency, impossibility, and paradox.
**** This rule applies retroactively to the beginning of time.
***** My not being able to create it, ever, does NOT mean that I thus automatically create it. Why? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A LOGICAL PARA-... dammit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wraith
* If the GM is reciting a riddle that we must find the answer to in order to progress in the plot, at the very least I am to let him finish the question before giving the correct answer.
** The plot will not progress if the GM asks a riddle and I give an answer that is correct in every detail EXCEPT that it was not the specific one that the GM was expecting.
** ESPECIALLY if my answer was more sensible, in character or genre appropriate than the actual answer.
*** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
**** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.
__________________
Nonono... I'm not an evil DM... HONEST!
============================= Private Mind, a long-form alternate history steampunk dystopian noir-detective story about telepaths, written for The CHALLENGE.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reltzik
*** Neither as DM nor as PC am I allowed to set up a series of traps with riddle keys, where the "correct" answer to the riddle is counted as incorrect, and the actual response that bypasses the trap is something gibberish like "Heeby Jeebies".
**** Even if this is the smart way to do it for a character with good memory and my wizard has 21 int by this point.
***** A random string of characters is right out.
****** Using my players' actual passwords to anything is a good way to learn just how annoyed my players can get.
******* Key loggers are not toys. I am not to install them on other people's machines.
* Basing a character on Teddy Roosevelt is okay. Basing a character on cousin Teddy from "Arsenic and Old Lace" is not.
RSS Feeds: 
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
