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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*Even if my club does charisma damage, not to call it the ugly stick.
*Ommipotent pork swords only exist in my mind and the dungeons of dreadmor.
*Wands are magical implements of great power, not dildos.
*Even if that's all a wand of jump is useful for.
*Not to use enlarge person to bellyflop on people.
*Same with iron body, wildshape, and form-of-the-X.
*The lost armlet of whatshisface was not behind the sofa the whole time.
*Not to drag a cannon around to snipe dragons with.
* Feather fall as a spell-like ability is not an excuse to launch the party out of catapults instead of walking.
*If a siege weapon cannot fit into the door of a dungeon, I cannot have it.
*If I use it to blow a hole large enough for it to fit, I still can't keep it.
* It is incredibly crass to use reduce object on a pair of cannons so I can wield them like handguns.
* Cannot use a bag of holding to survive being launched out of a siege weapon.
*Cannot use ant haul, bull's strength, enlarge animal, and a team of donkeys to haul around a pile of loot the size of a small hill.
*This does not mean I can do the same with a pile of loot the size of a large hill.
*If I can survive indefinitely inside the stomach of a creature or construct that has swallowed me whole, not to hide inside there and snipe from inside it.
*If I use a rope trick and Magnificent mansion to build a house inside of one, I will be attacked by dire tapeworms as thick as treetruncks.
*Cannot use an undead variation and cut portholes and channels into it so I can fire out of it.
*My first response to finding a forest, cave, or enemy encampment is not "Set it on fire."
*This cannot be my second response after a paltry effort to do otherwise.
* The D.M is still figuring out how I set the forest on acid, the cave on ice, and the encampment on sonic, but it is assumed I am also banned from doing that.
*Cannot divert a river to clear out the location in question.
*Cannot create a river with a decanter of endless water in the general direction of the encampment.
*I AM allowed to use an avalanche, provided I do so in an area where there is actually snow.
* Cannot abuse stone-to-mud to bury all my enemies in thousands of tonnes of the stuff.
*Not to abuse the ridiculous wealth-by level of high-powered characters to just buy the place from under them.
*No, you cannot use a lyre of tunnelling to undermine them.
*JUST FIGHT THEM ALREADY!
*Cure wounds or no, I still have to say sorry.
*My character cannot have the stated goal of sleeping with each and every kind of compatible creature on the planet.
is there anything left you are allowed to do?
__________________ "Where do promiscious fillies go?" - Awesome Tyrion Ponytar by Elemental
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*When travelling with the most wanted person/criminal in the world (wanted literally everywhere), I´m not allowed to go straight to the capital city of a nation that is searching for her the most, ask the ruler of said nation (also a brother of the said criminal, who she tried to kill on a number of occasions) for hospitality... and recieve it.
(For those interested, said ruler os a nation is Zuko, criminal is, naturally, Azula. What can I say? Turns out a dragon really *does* solve all your problems)
__________________
That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not use dating site profiles for character concepts.
*I may not post a character's profile on a dating site.
*I must not post my DM's profile on a dating site without his knowledge or permission.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I will not use my fellow party members as ammunition.
* I will not defeat the boss monster with a religious debate - especially if the boss is a demigod.
* If my character's actions would cause the political borders of half the setting's contients to be redrawn, they are all vetoed.
* I do not get XP for destroying the GM's faith in humanity.
* I will not abuse the social influence rules to get a major NPC to pay my bar tab.
* If my character devotes an entire session to getting a rebate on an "unfair border toll", he does not get any XP for the next three sessions.
* Being a thief does not mean I get XP for ripping off copyrighted songs.
* I do not get XP for killing the potential for plot advancement.
* "Public decency" can not be my Favoured Enemy.
* It is not a competition to see who can make the most NPC enemies.
* Assassination attempts are not my primary form of communication with the elves.
* Dwarven is not "just Spanish with the sex appeal taken out".
* I will not become the messiah figure of a new religion, just so it can be horribly twisted into an oppressive theocracy during offscreen downtime.
* My bard will not burn a feat on Leadership, just so he can get groupies.
* I do not lose sanity points from reading anything by John Ringo.
* I get XP for ENDING lives, not BEGINNING them. So my character should stop getting women pregnant.
* I will not attempt to loanshark the king, regardless of the potential for war profiteering.
__________________ Anachronism will never high-light the folly of my convictions!
Last edited by Shoot Da Moon : 01-29-2012 at 04:52 AM.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Greywolf
*When travelling with the most wanted person/criminal in the world (wanted literally everywhere), I´m not allowed to go straight to the capital city of a nation that is searching for her the most, ask the ruler of said nation (also a brother of the said criminal, who she tried to kill on a number of occasions) for hospitality... and recieve it.
(For those interested, said ruler os a nation is Zuko, criminal is, naturally, Azula. What can I say? Turns out a dragon really *does* solve all your problems)
Wait, are you playing an Avatar: The Last Airbender RPG? If so, you win the Internet.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
if my plan involves more than 3 of the folowing:
e
π
∫a∆m (integral of (a x change in mass))
.5mv^2
k
g
∑
µ
Ω
it is automaticly vetoed
My plan may not require the use of a calculator, slide rule, physics textbook, trigonometry, calculus, or theory of relativity
My plans may no longer use math or physics
I may not set the world on fire
I may not freeze the world to put out said fire
I may not go to the forest moon of endor to take out a large battle station's defences and kill the entire garrison of storm troopers by donning a fireproof suit, lureing them out of their base, and starting a forest fire
If I do the above (again) I will be locked in a cage with smokey the bear
dammit already! no more F=ma
I may not defeat the zombie apocolipse by pointing out that the average corpse decays in less than a month and then holeing up in a bunker for 3 months (just to be safe)
my emergancy survival kit may not contain just a gun and ammo, so that I can take the supplies of someone who spent more time and effort preparing.
If my chareceter can kill everyone in the room with a free action, I may no longer play him.
Especialy if the room in question is the hall of the Norse gods
__________________
Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoot Da Moon
* I get XP for ENDING lives, not BEGINNING them. So my character should stop getting women pregnant.
Yet the more lives the more lives there are to end so your creating opportunities to gain even more XP so it's still okay
*Being targeted by dominate person is a WILL save not a Reflex save no matter what your DEX is you can't dodge the BBEGs will
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cormag81
Sorry I can't fix my Fd up quote you'll just have to deal guys sorry
Add a "/" to the beginning of the second [quote]
*May not turn the dungeon of my keep into the Tomb of Horrors
*Especially if I haven't told the rest of the party
*May not suggest that we have a meeting in the treasury, at the back end of the dungeon
__________________
Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoot Da Moon
* I get XP for ENDING lives, not BEGINNING them. So my character should stop getting women pregnant.
* However, if playing a Female character, and you become pregnant, you do get XP for the birth.
* No having an Abortion, or Miscarridge does not count for XP.
__________________
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, unless you brought someone bigger and tastier along with you.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Happens
Wait, are you playing an Avatar: The Last Airbender RPG? If so, you win the Internet.
Yes, i am, in fact. Incidentally:
*There is no such thing as bearsharctopus.
**Not even in Avatar: tlA universe.
*The aerial move where I get on my dragon after falling off is not called a "Nutcracker".
**I am no longer allowed to name any moves, especially since I thought up a female version of the aforementioned one. (Azula was not amused)
*I can get away with pranking firelord with a pet turtleduck one time, and one time only!
__________________
That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*May not use skills in magic, biology and/or biotech to create chimeric entities. Or any new creatures period.
__________________
avatar by Three Shades
Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*by the gods of probability, i am not allowed to build a gatling gun that fires 10 fingers of death per round
*even if the save DC is 2
*nor can i mount the gatling gun on a wagon
*charging into battle against a dragon, finger-of-death-gun firing madly is considered bad form
*doing the above while screaming, "YOU WILL FAIL EVENTUALLY!!!!!" is right out
__________________
Telle Abscondus Avatar by me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoleMage
Wow. I started on 3.5 edition so the flumph is something I learned of later, but this is genius.
Spoiler
Thri-Kreen w/ greatsword by flumphy Insane Binder Avatar by Babale
I can has 1 cookie jar
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kymme
*by the gods of probability, i am not allowed to build a gatling gun that fires 10 fingers of death per round
*even if the save DC is 2
*nor can i mount the gatling gun on a wagon
*charging into battle against a dragon, finger-of-death-gun firing madly is considered bad form
*doing the above while screaming, "YOU WILL FAIL EVENTUALLY!!!!!" is right out
If the DC is two, chance of them failing is next to null, unless they've got no save modifier. Fairly certain that natural 1s only count for attacks, not saves.
__________________
Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
If the DC is two, chance of them failing is next to null, unless they've got no save modifier. Fairly certain that natural 1s only count for attacks, not saves.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksheep
If the DC is two, chance of them failing is next to null, unless they've got no save modifier. Fairly certain that natural 1s only count for attacks, not saves.
What the rules say:
Quote:
Originally Posted by System Reference Document
A natural 1 (the d20 comes up 1) on a saving throw is always a failure (and may cause damage to exposed items; see Items Surviving after a Saving Throw). A natural 20 (the d20 comes up 20) is always a success.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Insane Binder Avatar by Babale
