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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kymme
*by the gods of probability, i am not allowed to build a gatling gun that fires 10 fingers of death per round
*even if the save DC is 2
*nor can i mount the gatling gun on a wagon
*charging into battle against a dragon, finger-of-death-gun firing madly is considered bad form
*doing the above while screaming, "YOU WILL FAIL EVENTUALLY!!!!!" is right out
on a related note:
*The Law of Large Numbers is not a deity with the darkness, luck,death, life and competition domains.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Yes, becoming a master of runic sorcery involves branding yourself with a rune. That does NOT mean that Harry Potter is the youngest master of the Lightning rune in existence, nor are you allowed to go around attempting to recreate the incident that branded him with the Lightning rune.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xefas
I like my women like I like my coffee; 10 feet tall, incomprehensible to the human psyche, and capable of ending life as a triviality.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
*Unicorn, like phoenix pate, is impossible to eat without a permanent alignment change.
*The penalty of the Alignment Change, will be doubled, if I make any comments while eating the Phoenix pate, along the lines of "It taste just like Spicy Chicken!"
*Tripled if I'm the Paladin... and an angry fist of my chosen former deity aimed directly for my head.
*My Norse Paladin, will not call upon an avatar of Odin, that wields a shield, and large Two-Bladed Sword, no matter how much good graces I am with Odin.
**Addendum, The Avatar of Odin also most certainly does NOT transform into a Horse, and nor does it grant me temporary access to the Two-Weapon Fighting feats, nor Monkey-Grip.
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Holy Avenger Avatar courtesy of Kid Kris.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may no longer set the drug warehouse on fire after killing the workers in it, forgetting the poofed character is (following an immersive story) still upstairs, having "contracted explosive diarehha and then being hit by a concussive bear trap"
*I am not allowed we opt to leave the drug-riddled explosion-mangled fire-scorched body behind
*I am not allowed to carry a tinderbox
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\A/ Why play fair when you can "Technically" play fair. \A/
Spoiler
Ah say ah canno' jump, ya' jus' 'ave ta' toss meh!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I will not learn the Timeport spell just so I can put on a great preformance of "Johnny Be Good".
* My bard will not steal rock 'n' roll music from drow musicians.
* I will not abuse the Planar Shift spell, especially for the purposes of bypassing copyright laws.
* Funny noises are not funny.
* I will not have the party cleric executed by the authorities just in case all of humanity's sins need to be absolved. Especially if the authorities are offering a generous monetary reward.
__________________ Anachronism will never high-light the folly of my convictions!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Greywolf
Yes, i am, in fact. Incidentally:
*There is no such thing as bearsharctopus.
**Not even in Avatar: tlA universe.
*The aerial move where I get on my dragon after falling off is not called a "Nutcracker".
**I am no longer allowed to name any moves, especially since I thought up a female version of the aforementioned one. (Azula was not amused)
*I can get away with pranking firelord with a pet turtleduck one time, and one time only!
*I may bend the classical elements ONLY.
*Even if my character is loosely based off of Redcloak.
*ESPECIALLY if my character is loosely based off of Redcloak.
*No, I may not use that one xkcd comic to justify breaking the above rules.
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Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Last edited by Sith_Happens : 02-01-2012 at 03:44 AM.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Socratov
is there anything left you are allowed to do?
I get away with a lot because I haven’t done any of the above.
YET.
Alright, started up a pathfinder “City of rouges” adventure path and it’s looking to be fuuuuun.
The D.M does not speak in Italics while narrating the adventure path intro.
The players are to let him finish said intro.
The hellknights are not the Spanish inquisition.
Cannot be a half-orc bard.
Cannot describe said bard as 6 feet tall, ripped, green, with a great singing voice.
Having a Cha of 18 due to pathfinder rules is just an insult.
Opportunistic piety will not endear me to the party.
The cleric did not find the city through a vision quest.
The cleric does not know the half-orc merchant because the latter sold him drugs.
The shadowbeasts cannot be defeated by flashing lights in their eyes really fast.
Not to offer children beer.
The Halfling ranger is not belkar, even if they are C.E.
The Halfling doses not require a booster chair.
The Halfling dose not need to swim as the rest of us walk though the water in the oddly expansive sewers.
Not to tell the NPC to “Lead on, fearless leader!”
A light spell will not automatically blind my halforc, darkvision or no.
The blockage affecting the tunnel ahead of us is not THAT kind of blockage, even if we are in a sewer.
Not to tell the prudish never-nude cleric to that the troll ahead is naked.
Hide may be clothing, but no, that does not mean the troll covered in trollhide is wearing clothing.
If I am attempting diplomacy, I am actually to attempt to IMPROVE their attitude.
The cleric’s sword is not to be called diplomacy.
Sareiniae is not the “Oh no you didn’t!” goddess.
If the hellknight initiates were ”just kids,” that means teenagers, NOT six year olds.
I don’t need to dance in person to use bardic performance.
Cannot use a falchion as a golf club to hit a goo rat.
The half orc cannot cut himself in two on a failed to-hit roll.
Cannot hit a rat so hard that it bounces of one wall, bounces off another, to bounces off the ranger, and then fly down the corridor and explode.
The offending cleric cannot then put on sunglasses and not look at the explosion.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to suggest "lets rob a bank"
*upon being informed there is no bank, not to instigate a scheme to found a bank
*having founded a bank, I am not to seek investors and other clientel so the bank will grow profitable
*having made the bank profitiable, I am not to then rob my own bank.
*not to use the conservation of ninjitsu to obliterate the evil monks controlling everything.
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teej has quotes
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Occasional Sage
big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
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Originally Posted by McSmack
Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IthroZada
I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.
if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
The cleric did not find the city through a vision quest.
The cleric does not know the half-orc merchant because the latter sold him drugs.
But...but...those mesh so very well! I think I will have to use them at some point in the future.
Quote:
Sareiniae is not the “Oh no you didn’t!” goddess.
Of course not! That would be "LaSareine".
*I am not allowed to name the industrial city hit by hard times "Lostretto"(Itallian translation of "Detroit")
*Or Destraat(Dutch)
*Or Angkipot(Fillipino)
*Translating city names into other languages is forbidden.
*If I break the above, they do not worship a lawful warforged with domains of justice, law, punishment, and police work.
...Okay, Lost Retto, former manufacturing capital that has fallen on hard times and is watched over by a war-forged god of law and justice doesn't sound half bad.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
The cleric did not find the city through a vision quest.
The cleric does not know the half-orc merchant because the latter sold him drugs.
*As a DM, not to make rules for fictional drugs and the penalties (and possible bonuses) they cause.
*If I do so, I can expect at least one PC to be addicted to something.
*Dug dealers are not druids, even though many drugs are made from plants.
*Similarly, not all fey are hippies.
*A mind flayer doesn't get high if it eats an addict's brain.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I posted the first of these on the previous thread, but I'm repeating it here so the joke with the new ones isn't broken up:
* My dread necromancer may not be named Chuck Testa.
* If my dread necromancer is masquerading as a cleric, the rest of the party must know out-of-character what his real class is.
* When I'm asked to resurrect a party member, that means Raise Dead, not Animate Dread Warrior.
* Not to create a dread necromancer named Chuck Testa masquerading as a cleric just so I can eventually have the chance to tell one of the other players that "I bet you thought your character was alive. Nope! He's not. He's undead. He's been reanimated by Chuck Testa."
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Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy
*As a DM, not to make rules for fictional drugs and the penalties (and possible bonuses) they cause.
*If I do so, I can expect at least one PC to be addicted to something.
*Dug dealers are not druids, even though many drugs are made from plants.
*Similarly, not all fey are hippies.
*A mind flayer doesn't get high if it eats an addict's brain.
but.... we already have rules for drugs...
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my awesome knight riding a bulette avatar was made by smuchmuch
Cookie Jar: 1
teej has quotes
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by Occasional Sage
big teej, you are the GitP forum with legs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by McSmack
Or if you're feeling saucy you can remind him that it's not a democracy, it's a Teej-tatorship, and he'd best remember that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IthroZada
I imagine Cenobites to be what you get when you mash together the Book of Erotic Fantasy and the Book of Vile Darkness.
if I've gone quiet in a pbp we share, PM ME! this means I'm not getting updates!
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwertystop
Nor does it work if the shadow is caused by holding a tower shield over my head.
Nor for that matter my own shadow from the lantern I'm holding.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esprit15
Oh course not. You can't ever be in that shadow.
But you can be within five feet of your own shadow. In fact its more suprising when your are not.
__________________
avatar by Three Shades
Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
All of these are things my group has tried (some with more success than others)
* No, you may not HiPS by using the shadow created by your finger.
* The Female Paladin (with a 20 Cha) in a chainmail bikini's breasts are not allowed to be used for HiPS, either.
* The Giant's loincloth is right out.
* When playing the Cavalier class in Pathfinder, you are not allowed to do 45 (Power Attack) + 80 (Challenge) + 20 (Weapon Enhancement) + 45 (Strength) = 190 damage on the charge... and then ask if you really need to roll the 4d8, too.
* The Druid may not spend all his money on Wild Full Plate because he forgot Druids can't wear metal.
* Should the Druid waste his money in such a way, the GM shouldn't be a jerk and gloat about it.
* Should the GM gloat about it, the Druid is definitely not allowed to completely outclass the Fighter while naked.
* If the Fighter is completely outclassed by the naked Druid, the player should temporarily be allowed both the Throw Anything feat, as well as Catch Off Guard. Not the character, the player.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
