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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith_Happens
* I may not allow this thread to drop off the first page.
* Flamethrowers are weapons, not cooking supplies.
*This also applies to katanas, ankle grinders, chainsaws, explosives, and small bears.
*Cannot play Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAALE!
*Or Saxton whale.
*And especially not Hatston Sale, even if it approximates valve's interests.
* A wand of magic missile is not a missile launcher.
*A wand of delayed blast fireball is not a Stickybomb launcher.
*Cannot use staff mastery to dual-wield staves as a staff magus.
* The hammer is not my paladin’s peinis.
Meanwhile, in mouseguard:
*If I am making a sailor mouse, hook, eyepatch and all, must actually have skills relevant to sailing.
*Cannot lash together the bodies of fallen crewmembers to make a raft, boatcrafting or no.
*If the G.M retroactively gives a character the ‘paranoid’ trait and the instinct ‘suspect EVERYONE,’ that is an indicator for the player to tone it down.
*No longer allowed to talk if I have to go over my speech 3 times in order not so say too much.
*If I am borrowing a ship, I am expected to bring it back in one piece, particularly if the captain owning it was a drinking buddy.
*Not to tell a predator of our species if we can avoid it.
* If we are like 5 seconds from being torn apart by zealous ferrets, not to let the injured party member squeak in pain.
*If we haven’t been seen by the ferret isles for 1000 years, this dose not make us mythical figures, it makes us mythical lunch.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not equip six weapons in two hands if their names are "shortsword", "shortsword", "bo bortsword", "bananafana fo fortsword", "me mi mo mortsword", "shortsword".
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
*This also applies to katanas, ankle grinders, chainsaws, explosives, and small bears.
*Cannot play Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAALE!
*Or Saxton whale.
*And especially not Hatston Sale, even if it approximates valve's interests.
* Even if Saxton Hale does fight with his bare hands, and in a loincloth, a Vow of Poverty Monk is a poor representation of his abilities.
* I may not introduce my character to the party by randomly bursting through a wall and yelling "Property damage!"
** If the party has been through enough weird stuff that they find this not-startling by comparison, I may not take offense.
* The Druid is not a hippie.
* I may not take Perform (One-liner) as an excuse to spout off poorly-adapted Saxtone Hale quotes at every opportunity.
* The party Sorceress is inexplicably immune to my manly charms.
* Even if it's what Saxton Hale would do, I may not confront every situation by recklessly charging head-on.
** Especially if that's what Saxton Hale would do.
* Even if Saxton Hale would never, ever back away from a fight, I may still run from the stone giant barbarian who would have TPKed the party during his first appearance had he not been dealing nonlethal damage.
** If I choose not to run, I am not to complain when the rest of the party still does.
** I definitely may not then expect my character to survive the fight.
...In case you're wondering, a guy I know did in fact play Saxton Hale for his first ever D&D character. All of the above things actually happened.
__________________
Revan avatar by kaptainkrutch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirrylius
That's how wizards beta test their new animals. If it survives Australia, it's a go. Which in hindsight explains a LOT about Australia.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Tylenol
* I may not equip six weapons in two hands if their names are "shortsword", "shortsword", "bo bortsword", "bananafana fo fortsword", "me mi mo mortsword", "shortsword".
WUT.
I... I don't even.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Water_Bear
That's RAW for you; 100% Rules-Legal, 110% silly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamishspence
"Common sense" and "RAW" are not exactly on speaking terms
Anyone knows blue is for sarcas'ing in · Use of gray may indicate nitpicking · Green is sincerity · "Take 10 SAN damage from Dark Orchid"
I often hop into threads for just one thing
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not abuse the Craft skill to make a pressure washer.
*I may not then get the Cleric to Bless the water in said pressure washer.
*Under no circumstances am I to use this now holy pressure washer to approximate a holy water "flamethrower" to clear out the vampire lair.
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Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flickerdart
Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbane
* Even if the Summoner is both female and Small sized, she can't make her Eidolon a My Little Pony.
** ESPECIALLY not Pinkie Pie.
*** Pinkie Piedolon is not allowed to have the Swallow Whole mutation.
**** If Pinkie Piedolon does have Swallow Whole, she is not retroactively the reason goblins are deathly afraid of horses.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If we find an NPC, we are not allowed to stick them in a papoose and take them with us.
*We are not allowed to use wolves as drug dealers
*Or give them pimp hats
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*It's considered to be in extremely bad taste to hide in the recently constructed funeral pyre during an ambush just because the ambient fire damage can't overcome my fire resistance.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not allowed to watch MacGyver right before or during character creation
*Especially not if my character has any craft skills.
*Craft (Any) is not a valid craft skill.
*This goes double if I plan on taking any class in any game that has a knowledge or technological orientation.
*Same goes for Doctor Who
*And Doc from back to the future
*Double for any engineer from any star trek show ever, triple for Scotty.
*You know what? If it has craft as a class skill I can't have it.
*I'm still on probation when it comes to classes with knowledge skills on their class skill list.
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Avvy by the awesome BooTheHamster
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*May not diffuse a tense situation between the party and a tribe of lizardfolk with a 30 diplo roll.
**Especially at 2nd level.
***Even if all you did was make it so you wouldn't have to give them your prisoners of an enemy tribe of lizardfolk.
*Shouldn't be surprised when the town guard whom you turn the hostile lizardfolk over to decide to burn them alive.
**Shouldn't be surprised later when said guards attack the friendly lizardfolk tribe just because you were rather vague when saying "don't attack our friends", ie. not telling the guards that said lizardfolk are the friends in question.
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Proud owner of: 0.36 0.43 Internet(s) and 2 Win(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Welknair
*Proceeds to google "Bride of the Portable Hole", jokingly wondering if it might exist*
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not act on my urges to kill the idiotic NPC's that killed my character's friends/allies.
__________________
Thanks to Kymme for the Evil Paladin Avatar!
Nicest thing said of me:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 'Able' Xanthis
This is what a properly motivated caster is like, people. Concussive explosions able to rip the front end of a hummer in twain and Chilling is using them to filter out those who don't make the cut. Those unworthy of his true magistic might.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* May not play an awakened zombie incarnate construct warforged ninja with the dread pirate prestige class
* said character is not a ninja pirate robot zombie
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*While Legend is one of the few systems that could possibly run it, not to make a campaign based on "How To Kill A Mockingbird."
*In the same vein, lightsaber gun-swords only exist in that flash movie.
* Not to make a Gestalt ninja/druid.
*Cannot literally make a character a murderhobo.
* May not wield bags of holding as a melee weapon
* Nor as a thrown weapon
*The portable Hole Discus does not work
* I am only allowed extradimesnional space to store inanimate objects
* Turned of goldems do not count, nor do yet to be animated corpses
* Bags of holding are not red and white plastic balls
* If, in any way, I do encapture an enemy in a bag of holding, letting them out will not make them loyal to me and fight for me
* Even with magic
* My sorceror is not now, nor will he ever be, a pokemon master
* Duct tape cannot be used to make new monsters on the fly in the middle of combat
* No matter how hard I try
__________________ love of mine, someday you will die,
and I'll be close behind
to follow you into the dark
* I may not use "talking is a free action" to justify having elaborate, minutes-long negotiations with the enemy NPC during my round in the initiative without losing my move or standard.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackestOfMages
* Duct tape cannot be used to make new monsters on the fly in the middle of combat
* No matter how hard I try
Obviously you need a paperclip and possibly a chewing gum to make that possible. For Large and above you may want to substitute "paperclip" with "coat hanger"
*And there goes my necromancer rights too.
__________________
Avvy by the awesome BooTheHamster
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy
**Even if I have ranks in profession (Doctor).
Well duh. He has profession (The Doctor) and (Being Mysterious).
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avatar by Three Shades
Official Founder of the Defenders of the Kitsune, Nekomata, Tengu, Tanookie and Mujina. Please leave the Real World at the door.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*never again may I make a dual-wielding scimitar+kukri-using fighter
*If I am scoring critical hits about once every two rounds, the DM is going to be very cross with me.
*If I am able to use critical feats to make the BBEG blind, deaf and dumb all in the same round, the DM will go into that corner and cry until we get him a pizza.
__________________
Avatar by the incomparable Herpestidae.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flickerdart
Fortunately, a Monk 1/Warblade 19 uses Iron Heart Surge to end the Monk character class, and the day is saved.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beowulf DW
*never again may I make a dual-wielding scimitar+kukri-using fighter
*If I am scoring critical hits about once every two rounds, the DM is going to be very cross with me.
*If I am able to use critical feats to make the BBEG blind, deaf and dumb all in the same round, the DM will go into that corner and cry until we get him a pizza.
*If all our foes from now on have elemental body, ARE elementals or oozes, or are otherwise immume to crits, I can blame no-one but myself.
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
"If I am the only character who took profession (cooking) as a class skill, I am not allowed to slip potions of gender bending into the party's food."
"I am going to turn them back to men, even if I think they look better as women."
"If another PC is going to get romantically involved with my female PC at anytime I am to warn them in advance if she has been "experimenting" on her own body."
"I am not allowed to play D&D for at least 1 week after downloading a new X-change game."
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
