[Nexus] Thanksmasnewyearskwanzakkah 5: Now with Mall Santas!

[happyturtle]

The Mall. Is there anything more iconic of the Thanksmas holidays than rushing through crowds of harried shoppers, trying to fight with them to snatch the last Magbox U-station from the hands of a trampled Magbot?

No. No, there is not.

For its fifth anniversary, Thanksmas has sold out and gone commercial, setting up in the promenade of Mallside. A little Santa's Village has been set up around the fountain. There's a low fence separating the Village from the mall corridors - though once you step across the fenceline, you can see that the space is bigger on the inside.

The colourful fountain is now spraying coloured snow that leaves a blanket of white and red and green all around (though it magically vanishes if it's transported outside the Village to avoid puddles and slips for shoppers). There is a giant Thanksmas tree, sparkling with pretty lights. Here, Magbots dressed as elves frolic and play, building toys for good little girls and boys. Every day, if you listen closely, you can hear their screams of agonizing pain as they're forced to do this instead of kicking puppies or similar evil deeds.

In the centre of the village is a giant chair, where you can line up to have your picture taken with whichever Mall Santa is on duty and tell him, her, or it what you want for Thanksmasnewyearskwanzaakkah. Nine times out of ten, it'll be in the sack sitting beside the chair. The sack, like the village, is bigger on the inside.

There's also singing, candy, and all sorts of Thanksmasnewyearskwanzaakkah events, like the traditional Pin The Knife On The Duck.

Have fun!

Edit: Any character can roleplay as Santa Claus. Keep it silly and lighthearted and don't give away anything too powerful.

Edit 2: All welcome here. It can be in canon or not for your character, as you choose.

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2008 thread

[Morty]

And in the middle of all this merriment is Santa. This is a pretty small Santa, mind you. He does have the mandatory enormous belly, but he seems a bit challenged in the vertical department. Most of his face is hidden in a white beard, but it cannot conceal the big, bat-like ears poking from under the hat.

More importantly, this Santa is surrounded by wolves. Seven of them, two adult and five pups, who are almost fully grown. They're all wearing Thanksmas ribbons on their tails and necks and are lying comfortably around the Santa chair.

"Ho ho ho."

[Shadowcaller]

As Dipsig is sitting in his chair being generally grumpy there is a blue flash as a naked woman that looks like she just stepped out of a garbage pile (and smelling like it to) appears before the goblin and his wolves. "Hey! Do you know where I can find some 'clothes'? I'm kinda... naked."

[Morty]

Dipsnig glares at the woman. "No idea. I'm sure someone has something. Unless you want presents, I can't help you."
The wolves raise their heads and sniff at the woman. She smells weird.

[Shadowcaller]

"Ohhh! Presents can be clothes right? If so, I want some!" Libra exclaims, glad to have finally found someone to help her out with her cloth problem. The last six people she had talked to had been very rude.

[Morty]

"The rules say you need to sit on my lap," Dipsnig says in a tired voice. "But they don't seem to have taken Santas from properly sized species into account. So..." he reaches into the Santa sack, fishes around in it and pulls out a package containing, by the looks of it, a pair of jeans, a leather jacket, a green shirt and some underwear. "Here you go. Clothing."

[happyturtle]

Two little girls come running into the village. "Lottie! There's a naked lady!" Jefferies yells.

Lottie giggles. "She must be so cold! Let's build a snowman while we wait."

"Okay!"

[Morty]

Two of Santa Dipnsig's Thanksmas wolves - one boy pup and one girl pup - get up and trot over to the two little girls, sniffing at them with curiosity. They're pretty big by now - almost as big as adult wolves.

[Shadowcaller]

The woman stares at the clothes with a puzzled look before she looks up Dipsnig in confusion. "What? Am I supposed to put them on too?" She had never done that before!

[happyturtle]

Both girls squeal "Doggies!", but Jefferies is a squeal of delight, while Lottie's is a squeal of alarm. Lottie jumps up onto the fountain's edge for safety, while Jefferies jumps on the wolves for a bit of wrestling.

[Morty]

"Yes. Look, I'm the Santa, not an instructor in clothing. Sorry," Dipsnig says. At least he didn't hear the two girls call his wolves "doggies".

The two wolf cubs will gladly wrestle with Jefferies. They'll go as easy or hard on her as she wants, having been very well-trained.

[happyturtle]

Lottie lets out an ear piercing scream. Jefferies wrestles very enthusiastically, so from Lottie's point of view, her friend is being DEVOURED BY WOLVES!

From Jefferies point of view, she's having a jolly fine wrestling match. The fact that she uses nails and teeth and tusks shouldn't be any problem for the wolves, who are used to wrestling with each other. Despite all of Jefferies bravado, a pair of nearly grown wolves could actually tear her to bits if they felt like it.

[Shadowcaller]

"Hmph, well then I just have to try to put them on... elsewhere!" And with that both she and the clothes are gone in the same blue flash she appeared with.

[Morty]

Santa Dipsnig leans back in the chair, glad that the crazy naked woman is gone.
"Next please," he says, raising his voice.
The wolves will wrestle with Jefferies for as long as she wants. When she wishes to stop, they'll back away. They've been very well trained by Roxie and Dipsnig.

[Reinholdt]

Concerned parent number one: "Those dogs are attacking those little girls!"
Concerned parent number two: "What sort of shopping center lets this happen?!"
Concerned parent number three: "I'm going to tweet angrily about this instead of trying to save them!"

Murmurs of discontent rise up when Lottie screams. You have to be deaf not to hear that.

That's not to say that anyone does anything. And risk being held liable for something?

[Morty]

Santa Dipsnig sighs. Stupid human whelpling. Can't she tell that the pups aren't going to hurt anyone?
"Calm down over there," he says. "The wolves are harmless."

[happyturtle]

Lottie keeps jumping up and down on the fountain edge screaming hysterically. Something about how the doggies are eating her friend. She doesn't hear Santasnig's reassurances.

Jefferies is in her special happy orc place. Nobody is telling her that she's ruining her dress (which she is) or that she's going to hurt the doggies (which she isn't, but when it's just her vs Gorgutz, injuries can happen when they get too rough). She doesn't even register Lottie's screaming, let along Santasnig's weary words.

Presumably there's a parent of one of the girls nearby. Probably had to go to the loo and thought there was no way they'd get in trouble in Santa's Village.

[Morty]

Santa Dipsnig sighs wearily and whistles sharply. The pups stand up and go back to the Thanksmas Throne obediently.

[Reinholdt]

CP1: Wolves! They let dangerous animals roam free here? I'm never shopping here again.
CP2: Her parents should be ashamed of themselves, leaving their kids to be devoured.
CP3: This is going straight to Nextube.

Concerned parents then disperse and refuse to add anything else to this scene. Crazy people.

[happyturtle]

Once the wolves leave, Jefferies gets to her feet and Lottie stops screaming.

"Look, Lottie! Ders Sanna Claus! And he's a gobwin and der are no naked ladies annymore!" Jefferies announces.

Shame the CPs missed Naked Libra. They'd have had the vapors!

"But... the doggies will eat us!"

"No dey won't. Dey is nice doggies! Come on!"

Jefferies grabs Lottie by the hand and drags her to Santasnig. Lottie fearfully clambers up on Dipsnig's lap.

"Will they eat me?"

[Morty]

Dipsnig - who is not a whole lot taller than Lottie and not at all taller than Jefferies - manages a pleasant smile. Well, as pleasant as a goblin can manage, anyhow. Good thing he's got a fake beard.
"Of course they won't. See? They're perfectly friendly and won't do anything I tell them not to," he says.
The wolves are, indeed, lying around the chair lazily.

[happyturtle]

"Axe Santa for what you want, Lottie!" Jefferies urges.

Lottie grins. She's been thinking about this for a long time. "I want my own phone so I can call Jefferies and my other friends and it can take pictures and play music and I can play my favourite games on it."

[Morty]

"I think the sack can manage that," Dipsnig says. He reaches into the depths of the large back and produces a shiny new Blackberry phone. Very shiny, in fact. It's pink and glittering. And covered in a white floral pattern. "Here you go." Well, at least that was easy.

[happyturtle]

"Thank you, Santa!" Lottie squeals, and hugs the goblin tightly. "It's so pretty!"

[Morty]

Dipsnig is hugged. He handles it bravely. Why are human children so unreasonably big?
"Ho ho ho! It sure is. Go and enjoy your phone now. A lot of other kids want to get their presents." And it might get him off this chair faster, hopefully.

[happyturtle]

As soon as Lottie climbs down, Jefferies climbs up - and she's heavier than her friend. Poor Dipsnig!

"I dun has to axe for a mommy for Thanksamas acuz I gotted one now!" she announces to Dipsnig Clause.

[Morty]

x_o The orc kid is probably the universe's way of screwing with him after he internally complained about the human one. And she looks like she's from a different kind of orc than he's used to. By the looks of it, an even bigger kind.
"That's great. What would you like from Santa instead?" he asks, his voice somewhat strained.

[happyturtle]

"ROCKET SKATES!"

[Morty]

Dipsnig winces and his eyes droop. Not so loud, please.
"Ho ho ho. Let's see what the sack has for you then, shall we?" The goblin santa reaches into it and produces a pair of rocket skates. They're red, with stylized flames on them. While they look pretty cool, they are in fact rather kid-friendly, and won't make her go much faster than a bike.

[happyturtle]

"Da red ones go fasta!" Jefferies says in delight, but being less polite than Lottie, doesn't remember to say thank you. She jumps down and runs after Lottie, and the two girls continue to play in the snow.