D&D Vending Machine XXVI: Traderous Rascals

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive a ring, and some dirty dishes.

I insert all of my physics homework.

[Xerinous]

You get a failing grade for not turning in your homework.

I insert a device of unknown function.

[Kneenibble]

You receive a feeling neither pain nor pleasure that you do not understand -- you only know you want more. MORE. MOAR.


I insert a pair of robin's egg-blue loafers.

[Balmas]

You get a lovely plush bathroom robe, perfect for lounging around the house and comfortable enough to overcome any sense of shame you might get should you choose to wear it in public.

I insert the color Pink.

[Elemental]

You get incorrectly spelt fuchsias.
The sheer number of fuschias, fuschsias, fushias and fuscias coming out of the machine buried you alive.


I insert a dictionary.

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive a cockroach. No explanation is given, but somewhere it waits for you to find it.

I insert a slice of pizza.

[MonkeyBusiness]

You get "hot plate on a stick". That is to say: a shish kabob of alternating meatballs and tater tots, dipped in batter, and deepp fried, and served with a sauce made of Campbell's mushroom soup. Evidently favored at state fairs. I don't know why.

I insert a blue print for a ferris wheel.


.

[Prince Zahn]

You get a scaled miniature of the spinning cups ride, on the back you see in yellow print:
"collectors' edition;Made in Japan".


I insert a school of sardines, each sardine swimming in it's own individual bag.

[Odentin]

You get a veggie lovers white pizza.

I insert a Toyota yaris.

[Diego Havoc]

You get a toy boat from Paris.

I insert a stack of year-old receipts I just pulled out of my wallet.

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive $241.32 in change, mostly pennies.

I insert a gallon of orange juice.

[MonkeyBusiness]

You receive twenty dozen dreamsicles, and a note reminding you to share 'em with your friends.

I insert Peter Pan.


.
@ Odentin: Perhaps he has a redeeming quality, such as the ability to spell.

[Odentin]

You get a pedofile.

I insert a solid oak cubic block, 6" per side.

[Jester of Doom]

You get an expertly carved, 6" tall statuette of a highly narcisstic vending machine gnome.

I insert a dead vending machine gnome that has been chewed upon by a dog.

[Elemental]

You get a pack of angry wolves.


I insert the medieval fortifications of Paris.

[MonkeyBusiness]

You receive a bullet-proof girdle.

I insert a bottle of scotch.


.

[Odentin]

You get a bottle of pure ethanol, barley, and wheat.

I insert a longbow.

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive a very confused Englishman.

I insert a link of chainmail.

[Xerinous]

You get Link.

I insert the Triforce of Courage.

[Diego Havoc]

You get a box of Quality Street Green Triangles.

I insert a Nintendo DS.

[Watcher]

You get electrocuted.

I insert the God of Calculus.

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive one Amidus Drexel! (Who has conveniently misplaced his calculus textbook...)

There, that should clear up whether I'm out of the machine yet or not.

I insert a piece of string.

[Elemental]

You receive a three thousand page study on its length.


I insert a page from the most evil book of magic ever printed.

[Balmas]

You get a collection of Magic cards.

I insert the Bombinomicon.

[The Succubus]

You receive a book with a funny fizzling length of string attached to it...

I insert a sense of longing and loneliness, with sound of ocean waves and the winds of distant lands.

[Odentin]

You get a first class ship of the line.

I insert a 2-liter of root beer.

[GuesssWho]

You get a beer bottle carved out of wood.

I insert three demons, a jar of liquid joy and a pile of feathers.

[Cymru am byth]

You get a very happy bird with red eyes...

I insert my book on "Digital Design following the top-down approach"

[Amidus Drexel]

You receive a small trickle of rainwater. Unbeknownst to you, what appears to be water is not, in fact, water, but a very close replica of the atomic structure of a certain zinc-copper alloy that has been engineered to look like water to the casual observer.

I insert three IT executives.

[Ninja PieKing]

You get a phone.
I insert Amidus Drexel.Nobody said you could leave.