D&D Vending Machine XXVI: Traderous Rascals

[Cuthalion]

You get five other censor bars.

I insert a candy bar.

[Crisis21]

You get a prototype mouse. Part computer peripheral, part mechanical pet!


I insert a spider.

[Sorator]

You get the same spider, stamped "Rejected". The gnomes apparently do not appreciate arachnids.

I insert some pest repellant.

[Righteous Doggy]

You get some attract! use it to run through tall grass and attract even more pest than you could ever want!

I insert a gnome eating dragon. Built to destroy and devour gnomes.
@v erm... did you put him back in?

[Cuthalion]

You get a very happy dragon.

[Crisis21]

Due to your hesitation to insert something, you get inserted yourself.


I insert Cuthalion.

[Sorator]

You get Cuthatiger.

I insert Cuthabear.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

You get Cuthulu! He doesn't seem too happy!

I insert a reporter's badge.

[Elemental]

You get a letter that firmly informs you that reporters are not allowed.


I insert time.

[Righteous Doggy]

Space and time contort for a moment as you remove a portion, and out spits an eldritch being made of clocks from all ages, fathertime.

I insert a transformation device!

[Xerinous]

You get a Shifter's Sorrow.

I insert a duck.

[Crisis21]

You get a goose. A silly one at that.


I insert a little old lady and the shoe she lives in.

[Sorator]

You get the little old lady that swallowed a fly.

I insert some rock soup.

[Elemental]

The Gnomes launch an invasion of the outside world in order to secure the secret behind that recipe!
Everyone! Run for your respective lives!

I insert a surrender notice.

[Balmas]

You get no quarter.

I insert a carpet bombing of the area surrounding the vending machine. (I have no idea how. Cartoon logic.)

[Cuthalion]

An angry and sorely wounded Cuthalion tumbles out.

I insert Balmas into the machine.

[Drowlord]

You get Potionas out. What this is, I have no idea, but it looks angry.

I insert Fahrenheit 451.

[Watcher]

You get 505 7/9 Kelvins to the face.

I insert Mauve's jar of bees.

[Sorator]

You get a 404 error.

I insert a 403 error.

[Righteous Doggy]

You recieve a rather large key, who knows what it leads to!

I insert a Burrito at least twice the size of my head.
@v you forgot to post what you put in again...

[Cuthalion]

You get an exact copy of your head, except twice as large.

[Erik Vale]

You get snores. Loud ones. And tumble weed. Hurry up and ask already.

I insert Cuthalion in a fit of rage.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

You get Rage in a Cuthalion of Fit. Now in liquid form!

I insert a spritz of fine perfume.

[Sorator]

You get a nice 26oz spray bottle of Eau de Garbagé (anyone within 10ft of it when sprayed must make a DC 15 Fort save against nausea).

I insert my Fort save bonus.

[Righteous Doggy]

You get a transmutation potion! Careful when you use it, never know the results.

I insert a potion of alter self.

[Balmas]

You get a staff of Polymorph Any Object. Oh, those clever, cheese-loving gnomes.

I insert cheese!

[Cuthalion]

You get a thank-you note.

I insert a tapioca pudding.

[Sorator]

You get the tapioca pudding back - not even the gnomes want that.

I insert chocolate cake.

@V: YES, this is exactly what I wanted! Now I can take over the world! Bwahahahahahahaha!

[Pricewashere]

You get a small tin can with the word "EVIL" taped to the front.

I put in a Tardis.

[Amidus Drexel]

You get several seventeenth-century British pediatricians.

I insert two hours.