D&D Vending Machine XXVI: Traderous Rascals

[Amidus Drexel]

You get a bunch of confusing marketing graphs.

I insert thirteen candles

[Balmas]

You get thirteen sticks of dynamite. Look, they're pretty when they fizz like that...

I insert 13 terajoules of energy.

[Diego Havoc]

You get 13 pterodactyls.

I insert SCP-914.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

Is that an ARG?
You get a super high-tech calculator

I insert my World Domination plans.

[TinyMushroom]

You get a small model of the world under your rule. When you press the button at the top it plays your battle theme song.

I insert an oboe.

[Drowlord]

You get a hoboe.
...
I insert The Dissapearing Spoon.

[Crisis21]

You get refined finery.

I insert finery refinement.

[Balmas]

You get reclaimeed reclaimery!

I insert a crafting system that makes it simpler and easier to just buy what you want!

[Diego Havoc]

Originally Posted by Gnomish Wanderer

Is that an ARG?

It's a sort of collection of shared fiction, centered a paranormal investigation and containment organisation. It's an interesting read. A good way to waste an afternoon.

Originally Posted by Balmas

I insert a crafting system that makes it simpler and easier to just buy what you want!

You get a cooking system that makes it simpler and easier to just get takeaway.

I insert the concept of schadenfreude.

[Dire Moose]

You get a boot to the head followed by giggling from within the machine.

I insert a steam locomotive.

[Elemental]

You get footage of what looks to be the worst train wreck in all history, followed by an order to appear before the High Court of the Gnomes on numerous counts of murder, grievous bodily harm, endangering a minor and interfering with a mail carrier. Amid other things.

I insert chocolate.

[Xerinous]

You get a rather hyper gnome. And that's hyper by gnomish standards.

I insert a helicopter.

[Balthor]

you get a roflcopter

I insert a dollar

[Hipho]

You get nine and three-quarters of a Displacement Kitty.

I insert a miniature giant space donkey.

[Crisis21]

You get the arse end of the cosmos.

I insert Mos Eisley.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

You get a miniature x-wing, complete with miniature fighter and miniature lasers! They sting.

I insert the most horrifying thing TPBM can imagine.

[Balmas]

You get an empty fridge.

I insert a grocery sack.

[Diego Havoc]

You get a sack with a large $ sign printed on the side. It's full of Monopoly money.

I insert a bonsai tree.

[Woodzyowl]

Originally Posted by Diego Havoc

You get a sack with a large $ sign printed on the side. It's full of Monopoly money.

I insert a bonsai tree.

You get a fully functional house (complete with people) in a ratio corresponding to the height of a normal tree to the height of the bonsai.

I insert my entirely too math-oriented mind.

[MonkeyBusiness]

The gnomes come out of the back of the vending machine and offer you a job.

I insert my dog's expired liscence.


.

[Balthor]

you get an expired dog

I insert an empty Pepsi bottle

[Xerinous]

You get an empty Coca-Cola bottle.

I insert a block of ice.

[Crisis21]

You get PurityIceKiller. He's got that look in his eyes.


I insert a spanish accent.

[Woodzyowl]

You get the french accent from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I insert Steam and Valve.

[Zeph]

You receive a broken copy of "How to guide for Dota" but it's been beaten by an angry baboon.

I insert the #2 key.

[Amidus Drexel]

You get a complex puzzle lock with many different colors and odd geometric shapes.

I insert three boards of sapient pearwood.

[Balmas]

You get an angry Rubix cube with legs, which follows you loyally and is perfect for use as a coaster, or in an emergency, ammunition. (It will also solve itself.)

I insert a program designed to hack into the gnome's mainframe and log their keystrokes.

[Watcher]

You get mad and angry when it gets counter-hacked.

I insert the hop of the humens.

[Diego Havoc]

You get a wepon.

I insert the Master Sword.

[Gnomish Wanderer]

You get the Triforce of Blankness (it's the middle one )

I insert an epic adventure that you, that's right, YOU get to be a part of! For only 2 payments of $199.95!