Tale as Old as Last Wednesday [Maid IC]

[Trobby]

Ante continues to try to soldier on up the kitchen-based mountain, mustering her willpower to try to tough it out through the saute assault.

Spoiler

Will: (1d6x4)[20]

[Deme]

Lune's been spotted! Her path is suddenly strewn with obstacles Yuki's sent her way, and she finds she can't make enough progress to surpass her. Lune takes 6 stress from the effort.

Meanwhile, Ante is starting to catch up to Yuki. Yuki'll get one final chance to bat this challenger away...If she can manage to beat the blaze of Ante's will!


Mozart has gotten out popcorn and an armchair and is watching with a pleased expression.

[Atreli]

Lune quickly gets her bearings back after being startled and tries to jump over the obstacles.

[Benson]

Merry thought to herself how dumb this was in the broader sense but she wasn't smart enough to stop herself from going along with it. Gross! She was all covered in slimy butter. She gasped-moaned briefly making the scene accidentally ecchi out of context. "Augh! I'll get you back for that!" She shouted at Yuki even though it was her own fault. She harumped and gathered her willpower and wits to go after and take this darn woman down.

Spoiler

Rolling Will (1d6x4)[16]

[Lycan 01]

Yuki looks down at the trio of Maids rapidly climbing up after her. "Hm," she works her jaw thoughtfully.

Yuki pauses to sticks her left hand into the mountain of kitchenware. She digs around for a few seconds, and then yanks out an ornate serving platter. "Oh my, look at this fragile and expensive item. It would be a tragedy if this porcelain tray with gold inlay were to fall and shatter," she observes, a mock expression of worry and concern on her face.

She then idly lets go of it, allowing the tray to plummet towards the other maids, and the harsh porcelain-unfriendly earth below. "Oops," she smirks wickedly, before continuing to climb.

Spoiler

Skill to have found something actually fancy and worth saving: (1d6x4)[8]

[Hawkflight]

Hani-chan shook her head as the others climbed up the mountain of pots. Even onii-chan was being silly! Everyone knew that all you needed to make a good meal is a little love and some willpower! With that in mind, she set off to prepare ... something. She didn't quite know what yet though.

[Trobby]

Oh no, we can't let that happen!

Ante abandons her climb up the pile to jump after the "extremely fragile and valuable porcelain dishware", attempting to catch it in mid-air to save it from shattering.

Spoiler

Because it is entirely within her character to abandon her quest for the sake of her duty.

Athletics: (1d6x3)[12]

[Deme]

Mozart sees the effort the little maid is putting into her preperations, making her dish with the care of heart! He sidles on over.
"Not joining in?"

Yuki takes 12 stress and slides down to the mountain; it was a total fake and everyone except maybe Ante knew it. Or maybe Ante didn't care that it was a fake. Ante ends up at the bottom, too, but in good spirits. Lune's still on...

When Merry reaches the top, where the finest food she needed is. She is victor!

[Trobby]

"..."

Ante taps it against the floor a few times to check.

"...Wooden tray. Pine if I'm not mistaken. Cheap lumber, very good paint job though, I can see how you might make that mistake."

[Lycan 01]

"Ow. Ow. Ow!" Yuki yelps as she loses his footing and begins to bounce down the mountain of kitchenware. A few pots and pans are knocked loose as she smacks against them.

Finally, Yuki lands at the bottom, bouncing off the foot of the mountain and rolling across the floor. She lands, dazed, in a sitting position. Before she can say or do anything else, a large pot lands on her head, resulting in an echoing clang.

The assassin sits there in silence for a moment, leaning backwards slightly with her hands behind her for support. Finally, she lifts her right hand, and sticks it down her blouse. After digging around in her cleavage for a second - a sight that probably distracts Mozart - she yanks out a silver flask. She pops the top off of it, and lifts the flask up into the pot the concealing her face. Several large gulps are heard, followed by a contented gasp.

Yuki then puts the cap back on, and stuffs the flask back down her shirt. After a few seconds, the assassin staggers to her feet. She sways back and forth a few times - her balance has either been thrown off by the fall, the super-high proof alcohol, or both. And yes, the pot is still on her head.

"Okaaaaaay," she slurs. "What's next, Mr. Kitty Maaaaaan?"

[Benson]

Merry was surprised by the sudden turn of events but was not upset with them. She couldn't let herself feel concern about Miss Yuki, this was apparently a competition here. "Hahah....I won....I guess." It was a slightly hollow feeling, but hey, whatevs, she got her special ingredients, whatever they were.

[Trobby]

"Ah...um...Yuki...are you alright?" Ante asks as kindly as possible, knowing that the answer is no, but also knowing that it had to be asked anyway.

[Deme]

Mozart is not the least bit distracted by the cleavage of a mere bald plains-ape. But hey...drunken humans were interesting.

"Well, you still have to prepare your meal, remember?"

[Atreli]

Lune shrugged and began to climb down. She didn't win but there was still lots of opportunity to prove herself. Getting her pots and pans and ingredients ready she began cooking her White Chocolate Strawberry Mousse Cake.

[Trobby]

"Ah! Of course,how could I forget?!"

Ante rushes over to her concoction-so-far, and attempts to make her fruit salad. While she is lacking in the kiwi that would have made it truly memorable, she can still at least attempt to make a decent dish for the master.

[Benson]

When all was said done and done, Merry collected those special ingredients for her potato salad she was bent on making the darnest and most delicious potato salad ever. Good pseudo first impression are a must after all. These special and better herbs and spices along with fancy red potatoes should help along. She makes her way down and briefly glances at her fellow maids.

As said, sorta, she had her concerns about 'em particularly that Yuki, but ah, yea....competition. She was sure the maid probably would have done the same, whatever it was. Something. Yea. Stuff. Blah.

So, with that she began to make her potato salad, resolving to make the best darn tootin' that one would think twice about considering potato salad something not of the culinary arts. Or something.

Making das new potato salad here, hopin' it ah coming out better than first batch.

Spoiler

Using Will, in that she really hopes these special new ingredients will make it taste better than her first go (if use of Will like this is allowed, otherwise I can reroll in the OOC) (5d6)[16]

[Lycan 01]

Yuki waves a dismissive hand at Ante. "I'm fine! A bit banged up, but hey, nothing a bit of vodka can't fix. Plus, I've been through worse." She pats her left bicep, resulting in a metallic clank. "You wanna know how I got this arm? Or rather, how I lost the real one?" she leers from behind the metal pot, staggering slightly. "Well, I-"

Yuki suddenly turns towards Mozart. "KITTY!!" she blurts out, before striding purposefully - albeit crookedly - over to the cat-man-thing.

Before the butler can react, she grabs him by the shoulders and slams his body up against hers, before wrapping her arms tightly around him and squishing him into a bear hug. "WHO'S A GOOD WITTLE KITTY-WITTY?!" the assassin proclaims gleefully from inside the boiler, lifting Mozart off the ground and twisting from side to side. The butler's face is smooshed between her boobage, and that combined with her tight grip is probably preventing him from breathing.

"Such a niiiiiice wittle kitty!" she croons, as she begins to play with his hair and scratch his scalp. "You knoooooow... I knew another kitty-man before youuuu. He was a target. He liked to be petted and snuggled, so I got him just like I have you now, annnnnnnnnnnd..." she whispers, before loudly exclaiming: "SNAP!! Twisted his head 180 degrees, killing the little feline bastard instantly. Hee hee hee heeeeee..." she giggles sadistically. "Oh but don't worry, Mozy-wozy. I won't kill you. You're not a target. Or competition. You're nice to meeee... Unlike some other PEOPLE I KNOW!!" she suddenly roars.

In the blink of an eye, she flicks her right wrist, popping the combat knife out of her sleeve. Gripping the blade between her fingertips, she proceeds to turn and hurl the knife in the general direction of the other maids. The pot on her head prevents her from actually aiming, thank God. She then "looks" back at Mozart, who is still tightly gripped in her left arm, before tearfully asking: "Why doesn't anybody love meeeeee!?"

[Deme]

Mozart had no idea this was coming, and yowls like, well, a startled cat, the veneer of humanity falling away from his voice. He begins trying to claw at her and struggles to turn away and escape, flailing largely uselessly. The fact that he's bigger and taller than her are irrelevant: he's essentially forgetting he can outgun her in his panic.

He just yowls and growls and tries to free his head to bite her so she'll free him, which is a wonderfully logical paradox.

Everyone rolls to avoid that knife. Lucky or Athletics default.

[Trobby]

From chasing after renegade souls and hunting down demons who try to slack off on the job, Ante has developed quick feet and lightning reflexes that would make dodging the errant knife an easy task.

But the laws of this universe dictate that she is too baffled by Yuki's sudden alteration of personality to react quickly enough to the knife. So instead she will have to hope she is lucky enough not to be the target of the knife!

...she is nowhere near lucky enough for something like that.

((Setting Ante as the primary target. Hopefully she will take the blunt of the damage.))

[Atreli]

Just as Lune was getting the batter ready she heard Yuki. Quickly she decides to duck of the way of the knife. Leaving her really unfinished cake alone momentarily.

[Benson]

Merry 'waaha'd' in avoidance of the psycho's maid knife attack, severely making her into an enemy.

Spoiler

(1d6x2)[8]

[Deme]

Actually, it looks like Ante just gets a knife, since her player threw her under the bus and all. Of course, since Yuki threw the knife, it's not my responsibility to determine where on or around Ante it lands.

But it at about this time that a world-weary and downtrodden-looking one-eyed butler (Terran, for those keeping score) entered back into the kitchen, his eye closed. He sighed.

"He said...That this sounded like a most enjoyable contest, and I might hold the dishes as thou explain thy presentations and introduce thyselves..."

Mozart took a small pause from his thrashing to fist-pump the air.

"But I thought before that...Miss Yuki, wouldst thou accompany me for a moment?"

He then opened his eyes to see the mess before him. He regretted entering the room instantly.

[Trobby]

The knife goes sailing over Ante's head, and as fortune would have it, it does not connect with any part of her head on the way.

But, as Murphy would have it, it manages to not only snag her headdress, but pull it off of her head entirely, pinning it to the wall.

Fortunately for Ante, her hair is a bit messy today, and her horns can't really bee seen by anybody present.

And still more unfortunately for her, she doesn't actually KNOW this is true. Upon 'realizing' that she has been 'exposed', she replaces her headdress swiftly with a pot, neatly matching the inebriated Yuki's new 'uniform policy'.

"Ah, um, sir Terran, p-perhaps this isn't the best time..." She mumbles, trying not to call too much attention to herself.

[Lycan 01]

Yuki looks up from her inadvertent strangulation of Mozart. And by looks up, I mean the pot on her head turns in the general direction of Terran. "Can I bring the kitty?" she asks innocently, giving Mozart another squeeze, which forces his face into her suffocating cleavage again.

When Mozart inevitably says no, Yuki slumps her shoulders. "Okay..." she pouts. She releases the traumatized butler, and begins to walk towards Terran. And by walk, I mean she sways and staggers, before coming to a stop in front of the wall a few feet away from Terran. "Okay, sir, let's go have this little chat..."

If/when Terran points out that he is, in fact, a few feet over, Yuki shrugs. "My apologies." She then walks over to where he is, and the pot on her head nods forward. "Okay, let's go. Wait."

She pulls the flask out of her cleavage, slips it under the pot, and audibly takes a few more gulps. She then stuffs the flask back down her blouse. "Okay. Now we can go."

She follows Terran out into the hallway, or wherever it is they're going. If/when he asks her to take the boiler off of her head, Yuki sniffs. "No thank you. I'd much prefer to hide my shame. Plus, it's kinda cozy up in here..."

Sooooo out of character....

[Deme]

Terran wonders at how desperate this place has gotten, that they are reduced to literally hiring the first bunch of madwomen to wander in off the streets.

"I was going to take thee to meet His Highness and perhaps clear up that matter from before...But I think that might be best set aside for when thou art...Recovered?"


He offered to the drunken maid nervously.

[Lycan 01]

Yuki immediately rips the pot off her head and hurls it over her shoulder. She snaps to attention, heels together and hands clasped behind her back. She tries to put on a straight face, despite the tear streams still visible on her cheek. "No no, sir. I am perfectly capable of being on shape top for meeting his royal high majestical... y... ness... Um. Yeah," she says, flinching slightly at her own stupidity.

"I... I think I can handle it..." she mutters softly, her gaze drifting down to the floor. "I don't have much choice. I have to make a good impression on the Prince. Otherwise... otherwise I..." her voice trails off.

A pained look appears in her eye. "And what about my meal? I didn't even get started, and now the other maids have all the ingredients, and even if I got to work now I wouldn't be able to finish in time, and oh **** I think I threw a knife at someone..." she blinks a few times, realizing what she did.

Tears then begin to well in her eyes. "Oh, Mister Terran, what am I going to do? I've messed up, haven't I? The Prince is going to fire me, isn't he? I've already failed my mission! Damnation! I'm so stupid! I'm such a failure! A faaaaailuuuuure!" she wails, before throwing her arms around Terran and violently sobbing on his shoulder.

[Trobby]

"..Sir, if I may...perhaps I should go in ahead of Yuki...just for now, of course. You know, as a um...scout...rather...ah...oh dear."

[Deme]

Terran looks around desperately for a means of escape.

"H-he only meaneth this contest in jest, not as a true test of thy suitability. Please, Miss Yuki...Settle thyself."

When Ante enters, he sighs.

"Thou hast already met him...So that'd be unneeded. I had intended this to make an issue less confusing... But I really think given Miss Yuki's state...We may wish to wait."

[Lycan 01]

Yuki immediately stops bawling. "Wait." She then turns her head towards Ante. "You met the Prince? When?" She narrows her eye accusingly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

[Trobby]

"...By his own request." Ante says, holding her hands behind her back. "Otherwise I would have said something. I assure you, Yuki, that I mean no harm."

Ante braces herself, aware that she may have just set off a landmine.