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This happened about a week ago in the campaign I'm running, and I thought it was epic enough to post here. Spoilered for length.
Spoiler
In the Evil 3.P game I've been Dm'ing for a long time, things have gotten....... interesting, to say the least. The party's Artficer, to celebrate reaching epic, decided to throw the biggest wrench they could come up with into the setting. With some help from another party member, he managed to genetically engineer a mage-killing, monster-mutating supervirus, place the party in temporal stasis on their illusion-cloaked island base, and set a contingency to dispel it in 10 thousand years, just to see what would happen, completely ignoring the fact that another dimension-traveling villain was working on separating the outer planes from the rest of the multiverse. Needless to say, they were all a bit surprised when they woke up on Mirage Island ten millenia later, Wynaut and all.
One time there was a player who was a big tomb of battle buff, "manuvers are everything, fighter sucks, etc" type guy.
After reaching around 15th level, he found himself in a farming community and of course bragged he could take on anyone, anywhere, figuring no one would call his bluff.
Shame that Kenshin happened to be taking a short vacation and was relaxing in that community.
Kenshin is a level 30 fighter/weapon master, and although that might not seem very scary at first...she's also the goddess of combat.
The guy got his ass kicked by his patron deity.
And no, this wasn't some "I feel like messing with them" things. I have a record of where every god and important NPC is in general terms on my computer. I literally pulled out a file saying, that yes, Kenshin being on vacation in this town was pre-planned. So this wasn't me being a jerk.
Once, the players adopted a cat. Said cat was obsessivly protected by the local fighter, who probably loved it more than his sword.
About five real-life months later, a small town was being assulted by a small army of orcs. The party was pretty battered, and the cat was the only thing that was not utterly screwed over in combat. The party managed to fight off all but twenty or so orcs, and when all seemed lost, a fireball spell was casted.
The cat? A shapeshifted efreet. After wiping the floor with the orcs, it patted the head of the now mortafied fighter and plane shifted away.
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Well, one time at Bard camp...
Former avatars & Quotes
Spoiler
Former avatar, had it since I started realy posting here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tychris1
Pokonic look what you have done! You fool, you`ve doomed us all!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
Oh Pokonic, never change. And never become my D.M.
I find my best "mess with my players" moments come when I least expect them. Little details wind up tripping up my players and they wind up spending a lot of time freaking out over nothing.
I think my best was the "Big Rock In A Clearing" incident. The party was walking through a forest and it was getting dark, so I told them they had reached a clearing. They asked me if there was anything in the clearing.
I hadn't given this much thought, so I replied "uh...Sure, there's a big rock in the middle of the clearing."
We must have spent half an hour on them trying to figure out what was up this rock. I had to eventually tell them flat out that there was nothing special about this rock before I could get them to give up on it.
It was great, they were rolling perception, using detect magic, one player even broke off a piece to look at the inner part of the rock. And it was nothing but a chunk of granite. What's more, it should have been clear from the way I told them about it that it was nothing but an afterthought.
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Tired soldier avatar by the excellent TinyMushroom.
You should probably look for some white text in my posts. I'm sneaky like that.
I find my best "mess with my players" moments come when I least expect them. Little details wind up tripping up my players and they wind up spending a lot of time freaking out over nothing.
I think my best was the "Big Rock In A Clearing" incident. The party was walking through a forest and it was getting dark, so I told them they had reached a clearing. They asked me if there was anything in the clearing.
I hadn't given this much thought, so I replied "uh...Sure, there's a big rock in the middle of the clearing."
We must have spent half an hour on them trying to figure out what was up this rock. I had to eventually tell them flat out that there was nothing special about this rock before I could get them to give up on it.
It was great, they were rolling perception, using detect magic, one player even broke off a piece to look at the inner part of the rock. And it was nothing but a chunk of granite. What's more, it should have been clear from the way I told them about it that it was nothing but an afterthought.
Reminds me of the old magic cow strip in knights of the dinner table. The player's figure that the DM wouldn't mention it if it wasn't special, and his attempts at keeping the game moving are seen by the players as attempts to protect the "magic cow" and only make them more interested.
It doesn't really count if it was her divine ranks doing most of the work...
Well the real injury to him came more from what she told him. She basically told him that it doesn't matter how powerful or skilled you are being an arrogant jerk, is the type of acting that gets you sent to limbo (the in between of the abyssal prison and rewarding heavens).
They then sat down and she told them a ton about the heavens, and how to better themselves. Ironically he actually learned his lesson about being prideful and became more humble and helpful towards innocents.
Of course in exchange she had him show her some manuvers saying she's been interested in the new fighting styles being developed. She also told them she's thinking of retiring soon and retraining herself, and letting an epic warblade or something take her place.
It was a nice encounter.
Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Divine Ranks and god powers don't work on the material plane in my setting.
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Last edited by Morithias : 07-08-2012 at 05:58 PM.
I had my players find slash fiction of themselves while searching the manor of an npc.
She(the npc) ended up being the final boss. She actually showed up to that fight naked because all of her gear was in the form of quori crystals laced into her bones and she was doing the "where we're going, we won't need pants" act.
First game I ran, a 3.P horror game centered inside of a Genius Loci (Bwhahahah) had a few of these.
Best one I can think of was that one of the player's characters had a daughter or granddaughter that was really, really sick and he was out adventuring to try and raise money for her to get better. So the party enters this lab with large containment tubes holding semi-human experements. They think it's all weird and whatnot, and are about to leave, when the daughter steps out from behind the biggest container.
"Daddy? Daddy, I'm cold." (If you've seen 1408 you know where this is going)
"Dude, she's not real! It's the house playing tricks on us again!"
"Daddy, don't you love me any more?"
"Of course I do sweetie."
So she trots over to her dad, he hugs her, promising that she's safe now and that he's not gonna let anything happen to her.
Then she dies right in her arms.
Then crumbles to ash.
And I'm trying not to cackle like a madman at the player's expression when this happens.
Have the level one characters escort a cravan to a town (cliche, I know). The owner then gives them a bank note to take to "The big E.V.I.L. building, in the middle of town." Scares them silly, until they realize it's the "Everyday Villiager's Investment & Loans. E.V.I.L."
Have one character look in the mirror, watch his reflection commit suicide, then don't give him a reflection for the rest of the campign. And then don't explain why. Ever.
Have a character walk up to them on the street, and ask if they can wear the PC's shoes, "just in case."
Name your inn "The Chipper Mudskipper". My players refuse to sleep there, because they assume anything that happy in my setting must be a trap. (Which is wise, since I have an entire plotline set up for the first time they give in and sleep there, but that's beside the point.)
Give them a "Scroll of Locate Hands". They can't resist trying it. Have it announce in a booming voice "On the ends of your arms!" and have that be it.
Give them a massive, bronze key. Make it weigh like 75lbs or something insane. Watch them lug it around forever, because 'It will come in handy eventually!'
Edit: Oh, and a bowl of fresh fruit in the dungeon entrance. Every time.
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"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you are both flammable and an easy target."
I can't remember if I've mentioned this here. Oh well, here goes:
My players were forced (for unrelated reasons) to stay at a particular inn in a particular room that had been nailed shut for the last 50 years. The innkeeper made them clean the room before they could sleep in it because, hey, the inn has standards. When the innkeeper came back to inspect the cleaning, she commented about a puddle of water on the floor but said otherwise everything looked ok. This is the conversation that followed:
Player 1: Of course I assumed we would mop up the water when we were done.
Me: I also assumed you mopped up the water.
Player 1: Great, the roof must be leaking.
Player 2: Wait, was it raining?
Me: The ceiling is dry and shows no signs of damage.
Players: We examine the puddle.
Me: There are tracks in it.
Players:
Me:
The innkeeper made them clean the room before they could sleep in it because, hey, the inn has standards.
I take it they weren't there as customers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newBlazingAngel
It could be worse. How worth it would it be for me to write a 15 chapter erotica involving the players and a willing gnome maiden?
Nah, no way your players will suffer through all of that. A page at most, and make it a point to read it out loud. A more realistic slash fic though would be to take the two burliest male characters and have them go at it.
Last edited by Craft (Cheese) : 07-08-2012 at 01:13 AM.
It could be worse. How worth it would it be for me to write a 15 chapter erotica involving the players and a willing gnome maiden?
Scatter the chapters throughout the campaign, with details updated to reflect their exploits. If they find enough of them, they'll eventually be looking for the rest. You will have successfully gotten your players to look for slash fiction of themselves
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I've got a Campaign Setting! It's pretty bland but hey, it's something.
Nah, no way your players will suffer through all of that. A page at most, and make it a point to read it out loud. A more realistic slash fic though would be to take the two burliest male characters and have them go at it.
Even better if one is a Paladen, for the "soiled purity" jokes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frog Dragon
Have a dungeon decorated with statues.
Make one of them a monster that attacks the party with some trigger.
Everything else is just a statue, but visually indistinguishable from the monster.
Chuckle as the players attack inanimate objects.
This is wonderful. However, have something at the bottom of the dungeon cause all the statues to turn into stone golems if the party is stupid enough to mess with it.
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Well, one time at Bard camp...
Former avatars & Quotes
Spoiler
Former avatar, had it since I started realy posting here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tychris1
Pokonic look what you have done! You fool, you`ve doomed us all!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
Oh Pokonic, never change. And never become my D.M.
Have a well-lit dungeon decorated with angel statues.
Make it so that something the players do causes the lights to very briefly go out, after which at least two of the statues are gone.
Start randomly asking for spot checks.
I did have a gnome "With a strange little red hat" appear magically out of the air with a sweeping brush in one hand and a spanner in the other. Speaking very quickly he chucked the PC's the Spanner and disappeared, then reappeared telling them they should use it on the box then disappeared again. Shortly after the PC's find a large Adamantine Cube in a big old empty room...
Quote:
I hadn't given this much thought, so I replied "uh...Sure, there's a big rock in the middle of the clearing."
I have been known to give details that have no relivence to the story at hand but just try and flesh the world out a bit and have the PC's try and figure out why *sigh* "The DM mentioned it so it MUST be vital!"
__________________ "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff."
The First Rule of Thesaurus Club is: You do not Talk, converse, chat, speak, gossip, chatter, natter, utter, discuss, confer, reason, deliberate, consult, parley, lecture, sermon about Thesaurus Club!
Make one of them a monster that attacks the party with some trigger.
Everything else is just a statue, but visually indistinguishable from the monster.
Chuckle as the players attack inanimate objects.
I (ok, the DM group I was part of) did something similar to this. Except the statues were all statues of particular white dragon. A white dragon who had a bunch of ranks of bluff and Blood Wind. And Trickery Devotion. So the party spent all this time pumping damage into the fake while the real dragon (taking massive range increment penalties) tore in to them. When they realized their mistake at least one character had been torn to pieces. Then they ran. Most of them got away... that's a different story though.
1. In the dungeon, have a bat fly by every once in awhile. (Never introduce a vampire - that would relieve the growing tension.)
2.
DM: The far wall of the room is a brick wall. Make a Spot check. (Players roll.) One of the bricks is slightly darker than the others.
PC: We press that brick.
DM: (Rolls dice. frowns. Opens book or notes. Rolls again. Smiles) Nothing apparent happens.
3. Roll dice. "Does anybody have a frying pan on their character sheet? No? OK, you continue onward."
4. "Does anybody here speak Velociraptor? No? OK, you all here some screeches over the ridge." [Bonus points if there is nothing but a screeching bird over the ridge.]
To be fair, I should point out that I've only actually done the bats to my players.
It could be interesting to put one thing in a room that shouldn't be there or even doesn't fit the time period. Make them completely ordinary, but something they would carry with them 'just in case.'
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Spoiler
No I did not make my own banner, it was created by a very talented person who I've lost contact with.
My players better skip over this post, cause this will come up
I got some nice 'oh, crap' expressions out of my group once on the way back and forth through a lost dwarven city burried beneath Ravens Bluff.
First, they found a corpse of an ogre with some nasty cuts. They approach to examine it. Upon touch, the corpse suddenly shifts, and thousands of tiny Tomb Spiders swarm out of the wounds, leaving the quickly sacking husk of the ogre behind. They were a little freaked out
On the way back - they were third level, out of spells and severly wounded - they spot a Beholder in a parallel corridor. First 'Uhoh' reactions. One eye of the Beholder turns in their direction - one of them stares at me open-mouthed with impressively big eyes - then the whole beholder turns towards them, a second later he charges forward. They flee in blind panic.
He catches up, and I count down the distance. "50 meters... 40 meters... 30..." I've NEVER seen more panicked reactions from any player. One of them in desperation urged everyone to drop the magical gems they found, somehow thinking the Beholder wants those. Their fasttalking arguments were glorious.
Then I count down to zero, they're out of ideas and on the edge of their seats... And then the Beholder just passes through their bodies, racing onwards and taking a left turn ahead.
At this point we had to pause for some moments until I was done laughing.
Was it a ghost, an illusion, something else? They preferred not to delve deeper into that story.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff the Green
I've never teared up on behalf of a character of mine before. Congratulations, TFO.
Have one character look in the mirror, watch his reflection commit suicide, then don't give him a reflection for the rest of the campign. And then don't explain why. Ever.
This. Is. Awesome. Mind if I steal this?
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In the light of all your burning bridges, does the world seem like a warmer place to you?
Name your inn "The Chipper Mudskipper". My players refuse to sleep there, because they assume anything that happy in my setting must be a trap. (Which is wise, since I have an entire plotline set up for the first time they give in and sleep there, but that's beside the point.)
I once had a tavern called "Mermaids Rock". It was set a major port town was the party's standard tavern. Then, later in the campaign, they visited another city, and found a tavern called "Mermaids Rock". They tought "Hey, what a coincidence!" and went inside. Same barkeeper. Same gamblers. Same drunk passed out in the corner. Everyone tells them it was always here, no one inside had ever met the PCs. They kept finding that tavern in every city they visited. It was always there. It had always been there. No explanation.
It went on long enough that other people kept up taverns by that name when DMing.
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse,” I said, sounding calm, probably inaudible in the midst of the screaming. “Inevitable. Wasn’t that how she put it? I told them. Warned them.”
-Taylor Hebert. Yes, I'm a proud Skittle.
1. Have a small child appear, bloody and crying, on the parties path somewhere. Bonus points if she's somewhere thats increadbly harsh, like a icy cave or deep in a cursed forest.
2. Have the party make a few checks at random. Any check is fine. Just enough to make them realy paranoid about the little girl.
3. The little girl is completly normal. Nothing the party can do can prove otherwise. Shows up as LG, no magical effects, ect. According to her, she is lost. She does not know what village she came from.
4. At the next place the party rests, the little girl goes to sleep as well. Again, nothing strange at all besides her apperance.
5. The next day, the little girl is gone. Every party member has several massive bite marks, each showing multible sets of teeth. They do not feel these bites, but they did take damage. Any healing potions they had with them have turned into a blackish ichor that is corrosive to the touch, and any water they had with them has frozen into a black-red ice. They never see the little girl again.
__________________
Well, one time at Bard camp...
Former avatars & Quotes
Spoiler
Former avatar, had it since I started realy posting here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tychris1
Pokonic look what you have done! You fool, you`ve doomed us all!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doorhandle
Oh Pokonic, never change. And never become my D.M.
RSS Feeds: 
Hilarious Ways to mess with your players.
Of course I assumed we would mop up the water when we were done. 
Great, the roof must be leaking.
Wait, was it raining?
