Blatantly False Facts: The Game

[Frathe]

The game: You give a false or completely meaningless fact, then the person below you has to come up with another false fact using a word or concept from your "fact". And so on like that.

Please, don't use this for pointed sarcasm. Make sure you obey forum rules. Also, the point of this is to come up with funny new fake facts, not to repeat fake facts that some people really believe (and thus use this as a forum for complaint) or that people used to believe.

I'll start: The moon landing was a hoax. The video presented to the public was actually filmed on Mars.

Note: They don't all have to be like conspiracy theories. This is just what I thought of. Any kind of false claim is fine (within forum rules).

[PallElendro]

Water on Mars isn't liquid. It's a very small solid.
Veeeerrry small solid.

[Elemental]

The Earth does not orbit the Sun. Rather, it takes a very long rectangular path around Saturn.

[Lentrax]

The rings of Saturn are composed of dead Koopa Troopas.

[Phil Lactery]

Koopa Troopas were not, in fact, based on turtles.

They were based on moldy cashews.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

Cashews were once used as money, hence the modern term "cash."

[TheCountAlucard]

Money as we know it has changed drastically; the next big change isn't to a strictly-digital medium, as many expect, but to switch to solid-nickel statues of Orko, from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

They weigh eleven tons and buy about half a loaf of bread.

[Lentrax]

Little known fact: on the weekends, Prince Adam fought Skeletor as She-Man.

[North_Ranger]

Skeletor paid his way through college by stripping. His stage name was Mr Bone.

[Frathe]

"Mr. Bone" is also the name of a generic brand of Viagra.

[HypoSoc]

Ironically, Viagra was originally intended as a libido suppressor.

Needless to say it did not work as planned.

[TheCountAlucard]

You know what else didn't work out as planned? This forum. Turns out it came about as an attempt to get other artists into Rich Burlew's stable.

[North_Ranger]

"Rich Burlew's stable" is more than just a figure of speech. For you see, the Giant is in fact a sentient horse.

[Eldan]

On a related note, few people know that the closest relative of the domestic horse is the asian hornbill, hence their very similar mating calls.

[Tectonic Robot]

Asian Hornbills are the most psychically gifted creatures in the universe. They watch and wait, seeking to strike when we're at our weakest.

[Mauve Shirt]

Psychically gifted creatures tend to die 2 years earlier than their non-gifted siblings, even if their siblings are older

[Minitroll]

Younger siblings are made using the dead skin cells taken from the elder children.

[TheCountAlucard]

Kevin Bacon packages and sells dead skin, including his own. He calls it "Bacon Bacon."

[Anecronwashere]

Bacon was originally made of bear before the "Great Pig Litter" fiasco enlarged the pig populace to unsustainable levels

[PallElendro]

That high pig population was caused by flash-cloning, courtesy of ONI.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

Flash-Cloning has been banned, as the bright flashes from the clones have been known to misdirect aircraft making their final approaches.

[North_Ranger]

It is one of the best-kept secrets in the world that airplanes fly due to the psychic abilities of the pilots.

[LordSintax]

Psychic powers, contrary to popular belief, are actually the product of a mother exposing her child to massive amounts of horse meat in utero.

[Anecronwashere]

Horse meat is also responsible for detecting the weather if exposed to the sun through red glass

Ninjaed

Spoiler

Psychic powers are a result of the last living Plutonian breeding with prehistoric humans after crashlanding on earth after the Martians and PLutonians warred themselves to exctinction

[Lentrax]

Red glass is the only nonorganic substance known to require human blood for sustenance.

[TheCountAlucard]

Vampires actually have no need to consume human blood. They just do it 'cuz if looks cool.

[Mauve Shirt]

"Looking cool", or some primitive idea of the concept, is the motivation behind 90% of acts performed by dolphins, horses and lemmings.

[HypoSoc]

Dolphins, horses, and lemmings are all synonyms for the same mammal. If you believe them to be separate beings, please consult medical help immediately.

[Lentrax]

Lemmings do not just walk off of cliffs for no reason. The player just never gets the girders in place quickly enough.

[Grindle]

Canada doesn't actually exist. The northern border of the U.S. just ends in a massive cliff.