Schlock Mercenary III: One million years of crowdsourced kitten videos

[Bulldog Psion]

Well, it looks like Tagii was the only thing preventing Third Orleans on Oisrii (sp.) after all. So does that mean that Tagon is going to be up to his ears in zombies in a few minutes?

I thought they needed to be beheaded -- but maybe that isn't the case. Maybe the beheading just triggered the problem early.

Edit: by the way, does anyone else get the impression that Howard Tayler really, really, really enjoys zombie movies?

[BRC]

Assuming Para is telling the truth, this somewhat confirms the idea of there being multiple UNS factions at play. Para is working for UNS Internal Affairs Intelligence Corps. Which dosn't make sense as the group to go after GAVcorps.

Mind you, it also dosn't make sense as the group to put a deep cover agent inside a mercenary company unless that company is expected to be routinely used by the UNS.

So we have Emm's Group, which is trying to take over Osiri, which para is trying to counter, presumably at the behest of the IAIC.

[Rockphed]

Originally Posted by Bulldog Psion

Edit: by the way, does anyone else get the impression that Howard Tayler really, really, really enjoys zombie movies?

Well, he likes zombie stories. I suspect he doesn't like zombie movies. If he did, why would he keep trying to write better ones?

[Lizard Lord]

Originally Posted by Rockphed

Well, he likes zombie stories. I suspect he doesn't like zombie movies. If he did, why would he keep trying to write better ones?

Because he is a writer and has pride in his writing abilities. Does he need another reason?

[ChowGuy]

Originally Posted by BRC

Mind you, it also dosn't make sense as the group to put a deep cover agent inside a mercenary company unless that company is expected to be routinely used by the UNS.

Yeah, gee, it's not like at the time they were in the exclusive employ of them as Independent Contractors. Or that their first assignment as such was intended as a covert attempt to install a "Pro Annexation" faction as the controlling group on Credomar.

Oh wait...

[BRC]

Originally Posted by ChowGuy

Yeah, gee, it's not like at the time they were in the exclusive employ of them as Independent Contractors. Or that their first assignment as such was intended as a covert attempt to install a "friendly" faction as the controlling group on Credomar.

Oh wait...

Here's the problem.

First of all, Para is a brilliant Roboticist who ALSO has espionage training.

Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that she is older than she looks, moving a brain into a younger body is within the realm of Schlockverse tech. Why they would choose so young a body is a little strange, seeing as it might attract attention, but it's an explanation.

Either way, the UNSIA can't have that many brilliant roboticist spies in their employ, yet they felt it was important to assign one to the Toughs. This indicates they are something of a high priority. If that's her natural body, it's even stranger, since it means they have a prodigy roboticist spy who should be in a lab somewhere building milspec AI's, rather than accidentally creating benevolent monarchs.

Secondly, the issue with Credomar was the Toughs not receiving clear instructions. It would have been easy for the UNS to tell the Toughs to deliver the food to somebody of their choice. Even if the person in question was not a legitimate authority, The Toughs are mercenaries, and part of the problem was that there WAS no legitimate authority on Credomar.

So UNSIA was willing to send their roboticist spy on a mission considered unimportant enough that they couldn't be bothered to give them clear orders.

After that mission, there was no guarantee that the Toughs would be doing anything UNS related for quite some time. They could have run off to hunt space pirates, or picked up a security contract from Petey. They have since run into two operations that fall under UNSIA's purvew: Barsoom Command and the mess on Haven Hive. Para wasn't there for the first one, and it was by pure chance that they got involved with the second. Same with Osiri.

They COULD have assigned Para to a battleplate, where she could keep a close eye on a troublesome Admiral. Instead they pick a mercenary company that just so happens to keep running into shady UNS operations.

[Spamotron]

The Tough's seem to end up to their necks in UNS dirty laundry far more often then chance would make plausible. We the readers know that its because the Malevolent God of the Shlockiverse considers them to be his favorite pawns. But to an in-universe intelligence analyst that would sound absurd and they'd assume that the Tough's must have some deep connection to the otherwise super paranoid shady parts of the UNS to interact with it as often as they do and get out alive repeatedly. Para's job was to find that connection and use it to get intel on a faction that was otherwise nigh impenetrable.

[ChowGuy]

Originally Posted by BRC

Here's the problem.

First of all, Para is a brilliant Roboticist who ALSO has espionage training

No, the problem is you've been watching too many James Bond movies. In the real world, you don't send highly trained agents in the field, you recruit "assets" who are either already in place, or can be placed where you need them but can't easily be traced back to you, then give them only as much information as they "need to know." It's entirely reasonable for a talented but rebellious young unknown to think she would have more "fun" working as a spy then chaffing under the UNS command structure.

So UNSIA was willing to send their roboticist spy on a mission considered unimportant enough that they couldn't be bothered to give them clear orders.

No, they were willing to send her on a [covert] mission that should not have required a heavily armed presence at all, for which the Commodore did not give them written instructions (this having "plausible deniability") because the true intent of it "should have been obvious." Exactly the sort of thing that would raise a red flag with Internal Affairs.

After that mission, there was no guarantee that the Toughs would be doing anything UNS related for quite some time.

Again, they were under contract to the UNS, who at the time were happily paying for a refit to their ship, then in drydock aboard a UNS battleplate, despite the fact that the UNS (officially) had no responsibility for the damages it sustained. Whatever happened later has nothing to do with the advisability of embedding a plant at the time they did so.

or picked up a security contract from Petey.

They were deeply on the outs with Petey, and had no mercenary license to work for anyone else any more. And if/when they did run back to Petey, it's not as if anyone (or everyone) in the UNS wouldn't have an interest in getting ears on him as well.

[Rockphed]

"Fry 'em like bad hash-browns" is either the best or worst line ever uttered in this comic.

[Landis963]

Kevyn, this is the point where you get on the PA system and inform all the Gavs of the security risk, including the fact that it's being propagated through the entertainment feed. Don't waste time on snappy one-liners and get your clients to help with the security.

[Rockphed]

Originally Posted by Landis963

Kevyn, this is the point where you get on the PA system and inform all the Gavs of the security risk, including the fact that it's being propagated through the entertainment feed. Don't waste time on snappy one-liners and get your clients to help with the security.

Remember, he has worked with Gav extensively. He probably knows that if he told them to destroy the consoles they would only hide them more effectively.

[PhantomFox]

Wait a second... if the killswitch for Para is in her tooth, why not, y'know, REMOVE THE TOOTH? She's already missing one, a second wouldn't be missed that much.

[memnarch]

Originally Posted by PhantomFox

Wait a second... if the killswitch for Para is in her tooth, why not, y'know, REMOVE THE TOOTH? She's already missing one, a second wouldn't be missed that much.

Accidental smashing of the tooth? Triggers if removed?

[Landis963]

Originally Posted by Rockphed

Remember, he has worked with Gav extensively. He probably knows that if he told them to destroy the consoles they would only hide them more effectively.

If you tell them that their identities are being overwritten by the TV, with Binnie as incontrovertible proof, I would be very surprised if they decided that doesn't apply to them. Only the Gavs who have already died since Project Redhack came online are now gav/corporal whats-his-face hybrids, which right now is Binnie and the Gavzombies in the Medical Wing. No one else has died, which means everyone else is an unadulterated Gav. (well, internally adulterated Gav. The point is no one else has meddled with their personality yet). Unless they intentionally coded stupidity into themselves as an integral part of their personality, I'm not seeing much of a reason for resistance in this matter.

[Rockphed]

Originally Posted by Landis963

If you tell them that their identities are being overwritten by the TV, with Binnie as incontrovertible proof, I would be very surprised if they decided that doesn't apply to them. Only the Gavs who have already died since Project Redhack came online are now gav/corporal whats-his-face hybrids, which right now is Binnie and the Gavzombies in the Medical Wing. No one else has died, which means everyone else is an unadulterated Gav. (well, internally adulterated Gav. The point is no one else has meddled with their personality yet). Unless they intentionally coded stupidity into themselves as an integral part of their personality, I'm not seeing much of a reason for resistance in this matter.

If the stupidity was there to begin with, you don't have to code it in during the upgrade (i.e. when they went through the can).

[Bulldog Psion]

Originally Posted by PhantomFox

Wait a second... if the killswitch for Para is in her tooth, why not, y'know, REMOVE THE TOOTH? She's already missing one, a second wouldn't be missed that much.

Well, the first thing is to prevent it from going off while you're studying it and determining whether it can be removed, and if so, how best to remove it.

Sort of like you put the emergency brake on a car and wedges under the wheels when you go to remove a blown tire, rather than just hammering at the bolts immediately while the car is sitting on a slope in neutral.

[Tavar]

Binnie isn't proof, though. Binnie is proof, at best, that if you die that happens. The TV stuff is unknown to anyone except those two medical people. Who died. Opps.

Also, if nothing else, the Gav's have shown quite a contrary streak.

[Landis963]

Originally Posted by Tavar

Binnie isn't proof, though. Binnie is proof, at best, that if you die that happens. The TV stuff is unknown to anyone except those two medical people. Who died. Opps.

Also, if nothing else, the Gav's have shown quite a contrary streak.

"Attention all GavCorps employees! We have discovered a major breach in station security. Should you die, the RED nannies that revive you will replace you with a UNS soldier with lethal nanite-borne weaponry and durable armor-plating. [Clip of Binnie breaking out of quarantine and going on a rampage plays] We believe that it is an external signal that is inducing these changes into the stored RED templates. Please, switch off all items and appliances that receive a signal from off-planet. This includes TVs, Hypernet-based cell phones, etc. A team of Tagon's Toughs will be by momentarily to confirm the successful shutdown of any such devices. Thank you for your cooperation."

Above should be the briefing that Kevyn (or the Security chief whose name escapes me) tells everyone. And Kevyn realizes that the entertainment feed is the only possible vector, otherwise he wouldn't tell Ebby to "fry [the TVs] like bad hashbrowns." And if the Gavs refuse to listen, That is the point where you cut and run.

[Lizard Lord]

"This only happens if we die? So as long as we avoid doing that there should be no problem with us watching T.V."

[Landis963]

Originally Posted by Lizard Lord

"This only happens if we die? So as long as we avoid doing that there should be no problem with us watching T.V."

Why is it that I can just hear a Gav saying that?

EDIT: This is why the Toughs are coming around with EMP guns.

[Ravens_cry]

Just don't point those at any vital equipment, like life support infrastructure.

[Thalnawr]

Originally Posted by Ravens_cry

Just don't point those at any vital equipment, like life support infrastructure.

Or the console that turns off whatever it is that is causing Osiri's gravity to do what it's doing...

[Landis963]

Originally Posted by Thalnawr

Or the console that turns off whatever it is that is causing Osiri's gravity to do what it's doing...

That big red button should be inside Oisri somewhere, unless the Gavs found it and cloned it into one of their consoles. It'll be just fine until someone decides to set off an EMP somewhere.

[Radar]

Originally Posted by Landis963

That big red button should be inside Oisri somewhere, unless the Gavs found it and cloned it into one of their consoles. It'll be just fine until someone decides to set off an EMP somewhere.

Except the tiny little fact, that frying the consol should never ever affect anything - it's not like breaking the keyboard crashes the entire computer.

[Gnoman]

It does if it's a normally-on E-stop switch. A lot of systems are designed to cut out if the controls are destroyed.

[Coidzor]

Huh, and here I thought the Gav foreshadowing was that their "television" use was what was messing up the RED hacking.

[ChowGuy]

Originally Posted by Gnoman

It does if it's a normally-on E-stop switch. A lot of systems are designed to cut out if the controls are destroyed.

Or an emergency relief valve, or a heater, or oh any number of things. I remember once someone accidentally broke open a control unit in a cryo plant, and a 100 MMCFD of wet gas went up the flare. I didn't get to see it, but I'm told the flame went 200 feet up.

[teratorn]

What are the odds she doesn't have a poison tooth at all? Doesn't look like something the UNS would do...

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by teratorn

What are the odds she doesn't have a poison tooth at all? Doesn't look like something the UNS would do...

They're based in part on real world popcultural views of real world and fictional contemporary or recent past governments.

That would easily give enough source material for poison teeth to be a potential thing. Granted, it seems rather uncomplicated compared to their usual stuff.

[The Glyphstone]

they'd probably use nannies for other agents, but we're talking about a savant-level roboticist here, they might be forced to use a lower-tech method she can't subvert by herself.