Kiss or Kill LXXXVI: Please mail suggestions for a new title to the Governor's Office

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

*sits conspicuously nearby, sharpening machete*

Guess it's time for a treasure hunt.

*goes to find and, uh, talk to Elemental, dragging machete menacingly along the wall*

Ten dead men on a dead man's chest.... Heh heh.

[Grue Bait]

*replaces machete with a bouquet of flowers and slips away*Zaydos, if you eat this grue, I will stab you so much

[Elemental]

*offers a slice of cake*

I was going to save it, but it needs to be eaten by Thursday.

*goes on vacation to a remote part of Japan*

[Balmas]

*threatens japanese government with Dumb Bomb bombardment if they don't keep Elemental safe*

@V: It's not a matter of intelligence. Smart bombs can fly down chimneys, detonate prematurely, kill everyone in a house without knocking it down. Dumb Bombs just have to land in the right time zone.

[PurityIcekiller]

*gives the bombs the ability to speak and a proper education*

Now they're not dumb.

[Lilac_Shade]

*offers tray of fresh-baked cookies in recompense* PIK has been very patient with me

[Mauve Shirt]

*stabstabstabstabstab*

[Balmas]

*batbatbatbatbat* Bonk!

[Jeff the Green]

*feeds toes to kitten*

[Lycunadari]

*paints green*

[Akowrules]

*marvels at the giant plant*

Wow, your botany skills are fantastic!

*gives a plaque and a $25,000 cash prize*

[Elemental]

*colours mane purple*

Hmm... I don't think you can pull off that colour...

[Balmas]

*curls mane* I don't see why not--that coloration works for another famous unicorn...

[Kneenibble]

*sits in mane, tweeting gentle budgie nonsense and preening the hairs so that they acquire the texture of gift ribbon curled against the blade of a scissor*


@v *half-closes eyes and fluffs out* oohh that is nice

[Tectonic Robot]

I see we are having a hair-day here, eh?

*Grooms feathers with a small, very fine brush*

@V: You fiend! The apprentice villain has become the master! D: D: D: D: D:

[Gnomish Wanderer]

*frizzles your mane up endlessly*
Muahhaha, Muahhamuahhaha. Phonetically: Omlay du Fromage

[Cuthalion]

*stabbity stab stab stab*
Mauve, I'm follerin' yer orders!

[Zaydos]

*decapitates*

Mauve gave you orders to kill gnomes

[Akowrules]

*takes notes of Mauve's intentions while in the inventory*

[Mauve Shirt]

I gave no such orders! Gnomish, you are immune from stabbing! Unless I'm really angry or something.
*stabs Akow*

[Tectonic Robot]

Mauve. You stabbed me. There is only one vengeance.


*Takes dancing*

@V: Tectolicious? .///.

*Gossips, eats, has a good time*

*Offers the budgie a place at his abode*

[Kneenibble]

*seeks out at the party between the band's sets, feathers damp and sweetly fragrant as if spritzed with Champagne*

Tectolicious!

*gives a cocktail; then climbs up arm and sits on shoulder, whispering secrets into ear about various other party guests commingled between tweets and whistles and budgie nibbles*

By the way the bacon-wrapped water chestnuts are particularly scrumptious -- catch the waiter the next time he passes by


@v Oooh, thank you! *puts on the crown and cavorts, charged with a strange zeal*

*wakes up the next day in the woods in a pile of acorns*

[Elemental]

*presents with a crown of oak leaves taken from a tree sacred to an ancient goddess of the Earth*


@V It's not actually a "secret" passage per se... After all, lots of people know of its existence...
But the location... I really can't remember... I know I wrote it down somewhere!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

*drapes arm around the shoulders of*

Elemental!

*pushes bouquet of flowers against your neck*

*pauses, tosses flowers away, retries action with pistol*

Heard you had some sort of fancy secret package hidden away for safe keepin'. Let's you and I do business.

*acts all menacing and barely-restrained*

[Grue Bait]

*replaces pistol with teddy bear and slips away yet again*

[Balmas]

*presents with a custom tailored silk-lined ensemble, complete with high-ridged cloak and delicate embroidery patterns which subtly enhance your demonic complexion*

[Mauve Shirt]

*sighs at*
*stabs*

[Elemental]

*steals sharp objects and replaces them with foam duplicates*


@V *hug*

[Tectonic Robot]

*Hugssssssssss*

[Balmas]

*hugtackle*