[Nexus] The Wall III: Wall Harder

[FireFox]

Originally Posted by C'nor

Thank you for your offer. Though whether or not I accept it depends on his answer, of course, and what I see within you.

Killing deities that abuse their powers over mortals is sort of my "thing". Somewhere between a hobby and a career, with a slight suggestion of fate.

[OrchestraHc]

I do believe I've just accidentally become an energy magnate...

Stop right there you second-rate charlatans! All request for duels with my new client will have to be submitted in writing to his manager: Me.

Zeus, you beautiful deity you, you don't need to prove nothing to these low-class losers. You're way too strong and smart and powerful and tan and good-looking to waste the two and a quarter seconds to watch these chumps hit the ground from fright just looking at you. You have way more important ways to spend your time. Like getting you established. Like so:

Ahem! To the city council of Inside, I offer you power on a scale you've never experienced before at a price formerly thought impossible. You can be powered by THE God of Storms for only one two farm animals and a measly twenty thousand dollars a month, which to any city the size of Inside would be a pittance in cost, and merchandising rights.

Oooh! Merchandising! Doesn't the word just make your mouth water Big-Z? Your gorgeous face on Action figures, T-shirts, children's sneakers, bedspreads, and anything else we can think of! You're going to be bigger than PB&J. They are going to write poems and songs about you! They already did, but these are going to be even better! Homer's going to look at those poems and think "Holy crap! How are these poems about Zeus so much better than mine?" Do you know why they're so much better Big Guy? Because he didn't see how awesome you are. He didn't see your awesome! Your Awesome! You're Awesome!

[The Mad Hatter]

.../\...Brownoser...I'm always ahead actually! My insight is awesome!

[Rotting Baron]

I thought I told you to quit while you were behind, idiot.

[C'nor]

Originally Posted by Slii Arhem

You're kidding me, right? You're asking me, Me! To put up my MENESS, in some fight? You've clearly never rolled, rumbled, or tussled with the Zeusmeister hotlips, or you'd know that my bod is the worthiest thing around, and there aint nothing you could put up as collateral that's worth that. So no deal baby-doll, I don't take sucker's bets.

Who said that would be the change I made? There are many things I could do...

But if you would not risk your form, what would you risk?

Originally Posted by FireFox

Killing deities that abuse their powers over mortals is sort of my "thing". Somewhere between a hobby and a career, with a slight suggestion of fate.

Perhaps, then. It depends on what I see when I meet you.

[ThirdEmperor]

Ahead? You've lost every argument you've started and ruined any chance for success 'cause you couldn't keep your dumb mouth shut. It's getting hard not to kinda pity you, at this point.

So! I'll throw you a bone. Bring one million dollars to the center of the swamp of doom, alone, by twelve o' clock tomorrow, and we'll just sell you the damned soul.

[The Alexandrian]

Originally Posted by Beans

NOATASS;
III WEL GIF REW ADRS FOR BRIGNING DLAMACRACKIONS'S'' BODYSS TO ME
ADN SOM MIILKK
TO DICSCUS IIT, PLES CAL TIHS NOMMER;: <number>
Anyone calling the number will be met with a pleasant, calm (almost sleepy) voice, quite unlike the deranged purple scrawlings.

...

Tihs rew ard is lods of emone is iit nutt??

Originally Posted by singingnoodle

Winning is everything. I see you've never met The Corporal Executive of Wing Omnicron/Clarke Tower Industries the Great Marciano Louv're!

Being a good sport while playing the game is everything and then some. Remember kids, there's always someone better out there in the Nexus, but nobody likes a sore winner.

Then again, from what I'm hearing you don't have to fuss over that second reality.

Originally Posted by Darkcomet

Don't fall for anonymous scams! At Evolution Industries, we produce power units capable of catering to any and all energy needs.

We at Evolution Industries are proud partners of Remnant. If we're good enough for them, we are good enough for all.

Buy now, and all your energy needs will be met!

And there's a prize in every box! One complimentary secret spy camera and transmitting array wired into every power unit free of charge! That's right, absolutely free!

Well, what are you waiting for? We can see you sitting right there on the couch! Get a move on and call today!

Originally Posted by OrchestraHc

Anonymous my foot, he's been putting his name all over the place. It's annoying honestly.

I'm honestly curious as to how you power something with souls. Do they burn like coal? Do you use them to heat water and spin a turbine?

Y'know what power Nexus could capitalize on? Wind and Hydroelectricity! I'm sure you could get some Poseidon analogue to conjure endless torrents of wind or water for something like, a sheep a month. Greek gods took sheep sacrifices right? Goats, sheep, cows, chickens, that sort of thing?

Why of course the Greek gods took sheep sacrifices! Beggars can't be choosers, after all!

On a totally, absolutely, positively unrelated note, you've witnessed firsthand how Zeus hits on everything in sight, right?

I reiterate. Beggars can't be choosers.

Originally Posted by singingnoodle

No, I won't be dead. There are several of me. Kill one...I can grow another! There's three of you...I get to bring two companions right?

Evolution! EVOLUTION! Bahaha! You know, your lame little remnant reliant pathetic excuse of a company cannot rival the size, power, or even reputation of Clarke Industries!

My name is epic. Duh. Marciano Louv're! Like an awesomely awesome mint candy! I like candy...oh, you burn them like coal, the ectoplasm produces magic whitch powers stuff.

Reputation? Really? I've never even heard of your corporation. Speaking of, aren't you a little old for make-believe?

Anybody free tonight? I'm looking to organize a raiding party! Let's storm Clarke Industries! So, any takers?

[Slii Arhem]

Originally Posted by OrchestraHc

I do believe I've just accidentally become an energy magnate...

Stop right there you second-rate charlatans! All request for duels with my new client will have to be submitted in writing to his manager: Me.

Zeus, you beautiful deity you, you don't need to prove nothing to these low-class losers. You're way too strong and smart and powerful and tan and good-looking to waste the two and a quarter seconds to watch these chumps hit the ground from fright just looking at you. You have way more important ways to spend your time. Like getting you established. Like so:

Ahem! To the city council of Inside, I offer you power on a scale you've never experienced before at a price formerly thought impossible. You can be powered by THE God of Storms for only one two farm animals and a measly twenty thousand dollars a month, which to any city the size of Inside would be a pittance in cost, and merchandising rights.

Oooh! Merchandising! Doesn't the word just make your mouth water Big-Z? Your gorgeous face on Action figures, T-shirts, children's sneakers, bedspreads, and anything else we can think of! You're going to be bigger than PB&J. They are going to write poems and songs about you! They already did, but these are going to be even better! Homer's going to look at those poems and think "Holy crap! How are these poems about Zeus so much better than mine?" Do you know why they're so much better Big Guy? Because he didn't see how awesome you are. He didn't see your awesome! Your Awesome! You're Awesome!

You my friend have just earned an honorary mention in the Hall of Me as the best thing since sliced lightning. Seriously, where the hell was this guy before? You got one thing oh-so-wrong though, aint nobody can manage the Z-God's awesome mights and awe inspiring sights, you dig that duggy? I go strictly commando, and ride those ozone waves wherever the wind takes me. Aint no way no Zeus is bein tied down to some power plant like some Superman on a treadmill.

Originally Posted by C'nor

Who said that would be the change I made? There are many things I could do...

But if you would not risk your form, what would you risk?

A pile of phoenix teeth and a bucket of yo momma's dignity. If you wanna tempt a God into being stupid, try putting up a stake instead of throwing out challenges like you're a household name.

Originally Posted by The Alexandrian

Why of course the Greek gods took sheep sacrifices! Beggars can't be choosers, after all!

On a totally, absolutely, positively unrelated note, you've witnessed firsthand how Zeus hits on everything in sight, right?

I reiterate. Beggars can't be choosers.

*Stage whisper* Hey duderino, I hate to toss bolts of heavenly wrath at your hovel, but you need to check your spelling. I'm almost positive it's spelled buggerers.

Woah, you guys ever been dangerous sober? I'm so completely that right now. 'Scuse me a moment, this needs fixing. Zeus OUT!

[Lord Magtok]

Originally Posted by FireFox

Killing deities that abuse their powers over mortals is sort of my "thing". Somewhere between a hobby and a career, with a slight suggestion of fate.

"Besides the obvious lightning-proof defenses, what would you suggest opening with for this one? Hypothetically speaking, of course."

[FireFox]

Originally Posted by Lord Magtok

"Besides the obvious lightning-proof defenses, what would you suggest opening with for this one? Hypothetically speaking, of course."

This one seems stupid enough to fall to a honey trap, if you're willing to go for that. Depending on your scruples, you may want to open with turning his family against him or slaughtering his priests and razing his sacred sites (Knossos, Dodona, the entirety of Mt. Olympus). As a God of Sky and Thunder, he is theoretically weak to chthonic power. If you have earth or dark magic, try those and let me know how effective they are. His favorite trick, apart from the lightning bolt thing, is changing people into things, so make sure you have a defense against involuntary transformation. He bears a shield that is said to strike terror into the hearts and minds of the wicked and he may fight with a double headed axe. If this Zeus is manifesting his divine powers in a flesh and blood form, then massive trauma may prove effective. It couldn't hurt to start out by shooting him in the head and seeing how well that works.

[C'nor]

Originally Posted by Slii Arhem

A pile of phoenix teeth and a bucket of yo momma's dignity. If you wanna tempt a God into being stupid, try putting up a stake instead of throwing out challenges like you're a household name.

In some places, I am...

But if you would have me put up something specific, fine. Myself, or the creation of a goddess for you. Will that suffice?

--Kansheri, Goddess of Change and Transformations

[Slii Arhem]

Originally Posted by FireFox

This one seems stupid enough to fall to a honey trap, if you're willing to go for that. Depending on your scruples, you may want to open with turning his family against him or slaughtering his priests and razing his sacred sites (Knossos, Dodona, the entirety of Mt. Olympus). As a God of Sky and Thunder, he is theoretically weak to chthonic power. If you have earth or dark magic, try those and let me know how effective they are. His favorite trick, apart from the lightning bolt thing, is changing people into things, so make sure you have a defense against involuntary transformation. He bears a shield that is said to strike terror into the hearts and minds of the wicked and he may fight with a double headed axe. If this Zeus is manifesting his divine powers in a flesh and blood form, then massive trauma may prove effective. It couldn't hurt to start out by shooting him in the head and seeing how well that works.

Let me level with you guy. You just dropped a nice big strategy on a public wallspace in plain sight against the guy you've been insulting this whole time, while you know for a fact he'd be paying attention, and you're calling me stupid? Call up the sweepstakes and give the man a prize, because this guy must have the biggest stones in the universe here. I have never been drunk enough to be that idiotic, and I once fought Typhon naked, blitzed out of my mind, and in a chariot. Got my sinews ripped out for my trouble too.

And as for canned sherry, making goddesses is just another tuesday night for the King of the Skies hunny. You've got nothing I want, so go pick your teeth on some other god's nethers and leave me to my awesome.

[OrchestraHc]

Originally Posted by Slii Arhem

You my friend have just earned an honorary mention in the Hall of Me as the best thing since sliced lightning. Seriously, where the hell was this guy before? You got one thing oh-so-wrong though, aint nobody can manage the Z-God's awesome mights and awe inspiring sights, you dig that duggy? I go strictly commando, and ride those ozone waves wherever the wind takes me. Aint no way no Zeus is bein tied down to some power plant like some Superman on a treadmill.

I

But

Big-Z

I already have a jet-ski salesman on the phone and-Oh, screw it. Even if I could change your mind, I dig the free spirit thing too much to try. Guess I'm NOT rich beyond my wildest dreams, but props from a Greek god never hurt anybody, so this might be a net gain. You keep being beautiful, Z-Money.

[happyturtle]

Originally Posted by C'nor

In some places, I am...

But if you would have me put up something specific, fine. Myself, or the creation of a goddess for you. Will that suffice?

--Kansheri, Goddess of Change and Transformations

Okay, this is seriously **** sick. You want to create a living thinking being to put up as stakes in a bet? You just toss that off as an option as casually as I'd toss a pair of earrings in to raise a poker bet?

PaleGreen, you really REALLY want to associate with these people? You can do better. A LOT better.

[Darkcomet]

Please direct all allegations of misconduct to the legal authorities. Evolution Industries is a law-abiding company and will cooperate with any legal investigation.

Evolution Industries power units are 100% spying free at no extra charge! We provide power that is not derived from religious sacrifice or highly illegal practices such as soul-stealing.

[C'nor]

Originally Posted by happyturtle

Okay, this is seriously **** sick. You want to create a living thinking being to put up as stakes in a bet? You just toss that off as an option as casually as I'd toss a pair of earrings in to raise a poker bet?

PaleGreen, you really REALLY want to associate with these people? You can do better. A LOT better.

The message written below this shifts and writhes, cloaked in fog, making it unreadable for anyone save the intended recipient:

Spoiler

I am a literalist. When I offered to make a goddess for him, I meant only that I would create a new deity, and he would have some amount of input into the process of her creation, the extent of which would be determined by me, and likely, given what he has shown himself to be, minimal.

That said, my wording was intended to confuse him, so I can hardly fault you for misunderstanding my true purpose. My apologies for whatever distress I may have caused you.

[Morty]

Originally Posted by Darkcomet

Please direct all allegations of misconduct to the legal authorities. Evolution Industries is a law-abiding company and will cooperate with any legal investigation.

Evolution Industries power units are 100% spying free at no extra charge! We provide power that is not derived from religious sacrifice or highly illegal practices such as soul-stealing.

Man, Lou'Vre. An ad-bot is presenting a better case than you and sounds smarter in the process. That's a new low, even by your standards.

[The Mad Hatter]

I win all the time! Remember when I stole all that money from Dipsnot and co? (Sup goblinbrains.) And when I robbed that inn...mutilated that drow in front of his girlfriend...became a gazillionaire...and power...


Siege Clarke Tower!!! BAHAHA! Zeta will roast you!

[Rotting Baron]

Ooooh, you managed to commit a grand two crimes and then blindly stumbled your way into a fortune. I'm so impressed.

[Morty]

Let's not forget that he managed to butcher all of his employees with a beast that had got loose. Which... sort of counts as something, I guess. I mean, it could have been worse. He could have been killed, which would have been hilariously sad instead of just sad.

[C'nor]

Originally Posted by Morty

...all of his employees...

Wait, you mean people seriously went to work for this idiot?

[The Mad Hatter]

Hundreds love, I own companies everywhere...other worlds...realms...everywhere...and now, starting back here! The Grundlekrunk? Bah...a failed creation. No one cares about a few dead miners.

[ThirdEmperor]

So, gonna ante up the cash and buy the soul, or what? Cause I think just trying to talk to you is making me dumber.

[Lord Magtok]

You know that everyone can read this, figure out who you are, decide to not have anything to do with you, and bring your company's value all the way down, right? Either by either leaving their jobs for places that will value their lives, or by buying wares from your competition, or some other third thing I can't think of right now.

[The Mad Hatter]

Magtok! Hey! Nah, I don't need this worlds commerce really...soon, the only source of power can only be bought from me!

Yo, the dumbskateers, 'ow much?

[Rotting Baron]

They already said they want a million souls or a fight. Can you even read?

[ThirdEmperor]

Two million. If you're as rich as you say, that's nothing for enough energy to power the whole nexus.

[The Mad Hatter]

Course I can read! It comes and goes really...You want a million bucks? Gold? Oranges?

[The Alexandrian]

Originally Posted by singingnoodle

Siege Clarke Tower!!! BAHAHA! Zeta will roast you!

Thank you for publicly pleading guilty to two separate counts of criminal activity against upstanding citizens of our humongous City of Inside!

My husband won't badger me now when I claw open your ribcage and nom on your still beating heart and your super-shriveled lungs! And the more clones you have, the more hearts and lungs I could feast upon! Could I use your cloning machines like an automatic food dispenser? Sweet! But not as sweet as your liver!

I think I'll have to stop by and give that a go some time!

And fyi, your pet chiuaua doesn't scare anybody but you, kid.

Originally Posted by singingnoodle

Hundreds love, I own companies everywhere...other worlds...realms...everywhere...and now, starting back here! The Grundlekrunk? Bah...a failed creation. No one cares about a few dead miners.

You do know that I care about those miners, don't you? I care and am glad that they're dead and no longer able to reproduce!

But seriously, why someone with the intelligence of a brick wall would work for Marciano is beyond me.

Oh. Right. I forgot. Imaginary friends don't have much of a say in the matter.

[ThirdEmperor]

One million dollars. What the hell would we do with oranges?