Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D

[nedz]

Originally Posted by hex0

In game, mostly.

How can you be mostly a virgin ?
I thought it was somewhat binary

[Doxkid]

Originally Posted by nedz

How can you be mostly a virgin ?
I thought it was somewhat binary

Are you kidding? Who doesn't use a point system for virginity?

[hex0]

Originally Posted by nedz

How can you be mostly a virgin ?
I thought it was somewhat binary

Actually most of the Vow feats have the clause "If you break your vow as a result of magical compulsion, you lose the benefit of this feat until you perform a suitable penance and receive an atonement spell." Well screw you if someone forces you to drink a beer! It's your fault, sinner!

[Jeff the Green]

Originally Posted by hex0

Actually most of the Vow feats have the clause "If you break your vow as a result of magical compulsion, you lose the benefit of this feat until you perform a suitable penance and receive an atonement spell." Well screw you if someone forces you to drink a beer! It's your fault, sinner!

So viginity, along with teetotaling and pacifism, are trinary. Good to know.

[BootStrapTommy]

Tasha's Hideous Laughter.

I mean really. We always joke that the verbal components for the spell aren't a joke, but just staring at the target with a straight face and going "Tasha's Hideous Laughter."

[Sipex]

Originally Posted by hiryuu

Oh, that. You know the entire world was once an empire ruled by demons that enslaved dragons that lasted form millions of years, right? Or that the continent was once ruled by a magical kingdom of goblins? Little things like that. There's probably more rings lying in wait out there than there is gold to mine.

Which begs the question, what are the rings made of?

[endoperez]

Originally Posted by Sipex

Which begs the question, what are the rings made of?

Heh, nice one! :D

Does Eberron suffer from a scarcity of raw materials, since the easily accessed mines etc have been exhausted by previous civilizations? I don't think it does, but I've never actually played in it.

It reminds me of Feist's Midkemia/Tsurani books, where the latter invade the former because the Tsurani world's resources had mostly run out.

[Dusk Eclipse]

IIRC Dragonshards normal ones at the least are treated very similar to Oil in modern world (perhaps a little earlier in our history) in the sense they are in a great but finite supply, though unless that is the plot of the campaign you can assume they won't run out in the near-future. Khyber and Syberis shards are another matter since they are extremely rare. And one must also take into account that some shards are MASSIVE (60 ft tall or something like that) and can be processed into smaller ones or uses to power similarly sized machines.

[Erik Vale]

Originally Posted by endoperez

Heh, nice one! :D

Does Eberron suffer from a scarcity of raw materials, since the easily accessed mines etc have been exhausted by previous civilizations? I don't think it does, but I've never actually played in it.

It reminds me of Feist's Midkemia/Tsurani books, where the latter invade the former because the Tsurani world's resources had mostly run out.

Not really. The Tsurani didn't really have metal in the first place (The instead have lots of wood that can be made into things almost as good), but a nice point.

[endoperez]

Originally Posted by Erik Vale

Not really. The Tsurani didn't really have metal in the first place (The instead have lots of wood that can be made into things almost as good), but a nice point.

Sinex's post helped me realize that, if the endless supply of magic rings and stuff is due to previous civilizations, how come there's still basic materials such as iron left to mine for the current races?

[Arbane]

Originally Posted by endoperez

Sinex's post helped me realize that, if the endless supply of magic rings and stuff is due to previous civilizations, how come there's still basic materials such as iron left to mine for the current races?

Buried scrap metal?

[Poil]

Deities of mining and resource gathering adding more?

Sort of like, "Uh oh the orcs are running out of gold. Pot of gold. There all fixed."

[Water_Bear]

Originally Posted by endoperez

Sinex's post helped me realize that, if the endless supply of magic rings and stuff is due to previous civilizations, how come there's still basic materials such as iron left to mine for the current races?

Well, I for one have never seen a mine in D&D that wasn't a good mile or so under the surface and filled with zombies, so I'd hazard a guess all the good veins of ore have already been tapped out.

Dwarves Kobolds and the other undergound races do most of the mining anyway, and they are always "delving too greedily and too deep" so it's a good fit fluff-wise. Add in all the generic Evil Empire Forcing Prisoners to Work as Slaves in the Plot Mines set-pieces and mining is probably almost as dangerous as dungeon-crawling, assuming your mine isn't already transforming into an "Abandoned Mine" dungeon.

Also remember that resources are only limited on a local level; Wish Economies and the ability to mine on infinite planes like the Elemental Plane of Earth means there is always going to be iron (and gold, and admanantine...) out there to buy if you can't find it yourself.

[willpell]

Originally Posted by tbok1992

Though I am appreciative about the Epic Destiny in Heroes of the Elemental Chaos that allows you to become a Regiar.

Could you clue us non-SJ, non-4E fans in what a Regiar is? Wikipedia and Google are not finding it.

Originally Posted by nedz

Original source: 1E UA Illusionist only. (well it might have been in Dragon first). The thing is though, by the time you can do the save or die thing, you could have spent your action in casting a 6th level spell.

Unless 1E was very different from 3E in this respect, though, you get a LOT more 1st-level spells than 6ths. Especially since, if you have a 1st that's as good as a 6th, you can cast all your 2nds, 3rd, 4ths, 5ths and 6ths as that one 1st.

Originally Posted by tbok1992

And on stupid in an awesome way PC races, I'd like to talk about Unbodied. They're essentially giant disembodied brains made from psionics users who have transcended mortal flesh, and they have PC stats.

What bugs me about Unbodied is that they have no body, yet they can appear as anything, with no stated limits on that. So they can pretend to be a dragon sitting on the roof of your house, but they can't pass for human in a crowd because as soon as someone bumps into them they'll notice that this person isn't actually physically present. Also we have no life-cycle information about them; the fluff seems to imply that they're a race of ancients who've been lingering around forever, and I don't see how they could breed, but there's nothing indicating that they have a former human life (contrasting sharply with the Elans, who do have a former human life despite starting out as level 1 characters). Just a mess.

Originally Posted by BootStrapTommy

Tasha's Hideous Laughter.

What's really confusing about that spell is that the name seems to imply that it's forcing the target to laugh, but according to the Gray Jester in Heroes of Horror, the target is actually amused. It doesn't mechanically force you to laugh the way Otto's forces you to dance, but rather causes you to feel such overwhelming humor that you break out laughing in the middle of a fight - humor which the Jester can then eat after you've wasted your action. Weird.

I mean really. We always joke that the verbal components for the spell aren't a joke, but just staring at the target with a straight face and going "Tasha's Hideous Laughter."

Reading OOTS has left me very tempted to have every spell be cast by saying it's name. It makes a mockery of the whole Spellcraft skill, but I still find it hard to resist.

[Sith_Happens]

Originally Posted by willpell

What's really confusing about that spell is that the name seems to imply that it's forcing the target to laugh, but according to the Gray Jester in Heroes of Horror, the target is actually amused. It doesn't mechanically force you to laugh the way Otto's forces you to dance, but rather causes you to feel such overwhelming humor that you break out laughing in the middle of a fight - humor which the Jester can then eat after you've wasted your action. Weird.

So basically, Tasha's Hideous Laughter is the world's funniest joke.

[Iruka]

Originally Posted by Sith_Happens

So basically, Tasha's Hideous Laughter is the world's funniest joke.

Which means you don't really prepare it in the morning but instead tell it to your party until all you get is an annoyed groan, thus protecting them against it's effect in battle.

[holywhippet]

Originally Posted by Erik Vale

Not really. The Tsurani didn't really have metal in the first place (The instead have lots of wood that can be made into things almost as good), but a nice point.

The world was one they escaped to via magic after the Valheru invaded the place they previously were. The world they escaped to had presumably had other races previously who had used up all the metal. Which makes no sense really, unless they launched it into space the metal should still be there somewhere.

It was more complicated than that anyway, certain political parties wanted the war in order to keep their power.

[nedz]

Originally Posted by willpell

Unless 1E was very different from 3E in this respect, though, you get a LOT more 1st-level spells than 6ths. Especially since, if you have a 1st that's as good as a 6th, you can cast all your 2nds, 3rd, 4ths, 5ths and 6ths as that one 1st.

Well it only targets one individual, so its not that awesome.

[willpell]

Originally Posted by holywhippet

Which makes no sense really, unless they launched it into space the metal should still be there somewhere.

Rust, corrosion, adulteration with impurities, gold dissolved into sea water - the metal might still exist at the atomic level, but unless you can split molecules or separate alloys you'll never get at it.

[Mnemnosyne]

Originally Posted by Sipex

Which begs the question, what are the rings made of?

That's not begging the question, which would be asserting something and then using it as proof of itself. It may pose or suggest that question, but saying it 'begs the question' is inaccurate.

Originally Posted by willpell

Could you clue us non-SJ, non-4E fans in what a Regiar is? Wikipedia and Google are not finding it.

The correct spelling is Reigar.

[Asheram]

Originally Posted by Water_Bear

Well, I for one have never seen a mine in D&D that wasn't a good mile or so under the surface and filled with zombies, so I'd hazard a guess all the good veins of ore have already been tapped out.

Dwarves Kobolds and the other undergound races do most of the mining anyway, and they are always "delving too greedily and too deep" so it's a good fit fluff-wise. Add in all the generic Evil Empire Forcing Prisoners to Work as Slaves in the Plot Mines set-pieces and mining is probably almost as dangerous as dungeon-crawling, assuming your mine isn't already transforming into an "Abandoned Mine" dungeon.

Would this mean that mines in D&D work a bit like minecraft? Seal off a section of the mine for a day and a night in complete darkness and by the morning it might be a beholder lair?

[Deepbluediver]

Originally Posted by Asheram

Would this mean that mines in D&D work a bit like minecraft? Seal off a section of the mine for a day and a night in complete darkness and by the morning it might be a beholder lair?

Apparently the Theory of Spontaneous Generation is alive and well in both MMOs and tabletop RPGs.

[Sipex]

Originally Posted by Mnemnosyne

That's not begging the question, which would be asserting something and then using it as proof of itself. It may pose or suggest that question, but saying it 'begs the question' is inaccurate.

While I realise (and hope) you were probably saying this to be helpful and informative, it comes off more rude and condescending fyi.

[willpell]

Originally Posted by Sipex

While I realise (and hope) you were probably saying this to be helpful and informative, it comes off more rude and condescending fyi.

I found it a bit pedantic myself, but just rolled my eyes and moved on. Mnemosyne is a cool dude/ette/oid/whatever, I can overlook the occasional English-Teacher's-Pet self-indulgence.

PS: OMG Reigar....that is amaaazing. An entire race of Mary Sues who out-elf the elves. I badly want to know who was consuming what flavor of six-month old yoghurt just before they hallucinated that concept.

[Hbgplayer]

Originally Posted by Kelb_Panthera

Favored by tem-et-nu, a feat from sandstorm, gives you the ability to rebuke, get this, hippopotami. That's right, you get the ability to rebuke freakin' hippo's.

Plus, if you lose Tem-et-nu's favor, you take damage as if bitten by a hippo. That's right, anger your god and the "spirit of the hippo" chomps your butt.

How stupid is that?

It's a little late, but I felt the need to post this in response to this.

[nedz]

Originally Posted by willpell

I found it a bit pedantic myself, but just rolled my eyes and moved on. Mnemosyne is a cool dude/ette/oid/whatever, I can overlook the occasional English-Teacher's-Pet self-indulgence.

Well I discounted it as noise, but whatever.

Originally Posted by willpell

PS: OMG Reigar....that is amaaazing. An entire race of Mary Sues who out-elf the elves. I badly want to know who was consuming what flavor of six-month old yoghurt just before they hallucinated that concept.

But at least they are artistic.

If I were ever to use these then I can think of several players who would like nothing better than to introduce them to the finer points of rapiers; others however would love to talk with them, before moving on. It is not a surprise that these players play in different groups.

They are only Mary-Sues if you use them as such. These seem more of a high level distraction or trading opportunity.

BTW the flavour of yoghurt would be Madagascan Vanilla with a hint of Armagnac.

[Morph Bark]

Originally Posted by Poil

Class restrictions applying to the player too would be hilariously stupid.

Poor Eunuch Warlocks would see even less play.

[Wardog]

Originally Posted by Mnemnosyne

That's not begging the question, which would be asserting something and then using it as proof of itself. It may pose or suggest that question, but saying it 'begs the question' is inaccurate.

The correct spelling is Reigar.

I've heard good arguments that given:
1) "begging the question" is a very bad translation of the original Latin term for the fallacy
2) Going by the normal English meaning of words, the colloquial interpretation of the prase ("demanding/requiring the question be asked") makes more sense than the "real" meaning
3) Almost everyone uses it that way

Therefore the colloquial meaning should now be treated as as correct.

[Nyes the Dark]

My group also encountered a swan-shifting charm. It was a once-a-day effect, and ironically the violent guy took it and always wants to use it to kill things, but the DM vetoes it because it would never work.

On-topic: Bag of Tricks. That is all.

[The LOBster]

"Chicken-infested." It's just one of the best and worst things ever.

Originally Posted by tbok1992

Vasharan Offal Bag: From The Book of Vile Darkness, it's essentially a giant bag of poop that summons a giant cockroach once a day. And it's made by this uber-evil race of humans who really, really should've at least been more creative than "Crap in a bag+make it magic = ROACHIE!". Though Sloth is a deadly sin...

THE NIPPLE CLAMP OF EXQUISITE PAIN!: Also from The Book of Vile Darkness. When I hear that item's name, I don't so much think "Evilly perverse sociopath" as "Insane wizard who really, really needs to get laid."

Wow. Was the 3e BoVD really that over the top? I mean, I knew it listed sadomasochism as an evil trait, but... Wow.