Your Wish Granted With a Twist. Vol. 43

[Saposhiente]

Granted! You suddenly enter a coma, and become incapable of feeling pain.

I wish that everyone had the power to read other people's surface thoughts without misunderstanding. Yes this would cause initial culture shock, but when people realize that *everyone* has random squick/horrifying/etc thoughts, it would become a non-big-deal, and then suddenly everyone has perfect, exact, mandatory communication and so many problems are solved (especially in relationships.)
That was really long.

[Socratov]

granted, but along with the disturbing thoughts you also get the disturbing images. Now the whole world is busy inventing mindbleach so they can remove those images from their minds... In the meantime you are hunted down for making this stupid wish. nowhere is safe anymore...

I wish for a normal metabolism instead of the super efficient nutrition draining facity that apparently houses in my abdomen...

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Granted, it's now located in your right foot. Digestion is still super efficient, but it takes a longer amount of time to happen due to the added distance. You also at some point must go back in time and invent the term, "hollow leg" for someone who eats a lot.

I wish for nothing.

----------------

Originally Posted by AvocadoAvenger

you are able to, but you don't

I wish for a B in AP Psychology

You were right! Girlfriend distracted me....

[Elemental]

Granted. You get Nothing. All-consuming, reality-destroying Nothing.
Fortunately, it's sealed within a crystal so you can put it on your desk and show it to visitors.


I wish a glass of orange juice.

[radhop]

Granted, but it is so acidic that if you even tried to drink it you would die.

I wish for the new Starwars movies to be actually good.

[Lentrax]

Granted. The new episodes from Disney are so full of epic and win, that they eradicate any bad emotions people have they think back to those Prequels.

However, all this is just in your head right before you wake up. Just like that, the dream is gone.

I wish for a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, and some cool froods to go drinking with.

@V: Good one. At least now I know what happened to my head. Thank goodness for my Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses. Never saw that brick coming.

[Socratov]

granted, I join you and after these pan galactic gargleblasters we go for a round of Klatchian coffee canceling out the drunkness from the pangalactic gargleblaster. (also you still have a bit of leftover gold and lemon on your hair)

I wish the ability to become knurd and unknurd at will

[MonkeyBusiness]

Certainly, you can get knurd at will. But but the painful starkness of ultra-sober reality is so jarring to your psyche, after you do it for the first time you resolve never to knurd again.

Just as Terry Pratchett predicted.

I wish for a team of sexy male hot tub nymphs to clean and fix my hot tub.

.@ Knee: I knew I could count on you, dear.
@ Lentrax: Send in the clones?

[Kneenibble]

I grant this wish, conveniently since I am a bathtub/pool maques. There may be a problem, though, as the nymphs march between your hot tub enclosure and the rest of your house to check the pipes & get tools, dripping water from their sleek fatless blue-toned bodies that have the texture of a dolphin's back. They also tend to wrestle and play and splash about as if nobody were watching and... may engage you in this way if you are around while they work.


I wish for a gentle lumbering oaf of an ent for a friend, who would rumble his deep ent-songs in my garden.

[Lentrax]

Granted. Your new Ent friend is on his way, but it will take a good long time to get there. I believe he mentioned an Entmoot he really had to get to next year.

I wish I could make clones of myself.

[radhop]

Granted, but they all turn on you then themselves till they ultimately kill everyone off...

I wish I had a bicycle.

[Socratov]

Granted, however, once you start riding your bike you discover that the brakes are missing.

I wish to always having a free and fast internet cinnection wherever I may be

[Elemental]

Granted. You have an internet cinnection. Whatever that is.



I wish for more lollies.

[AKA_Bait]

Every peice of food that you attempt to eat is transformed into a tapioca flavored lollipop just before it touches your tongue, but after it enters your mouth. This includes soup.

I wish for time to rewind six days.

[radhop]

Granted, time rewinds six days unfortunately it goes off of Pluto days and time rewinds 38.34 days

I wish for more Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

[MonkeyBusiness]

Granted! People come running with their leftover Halloween candy. Of course, not all of it is Reese's. And not all of it was manufactured this year. Or even this decade. You never realized how much saved-up old Halloween candy there is in the world. But there is quite a lot. Your home is buried under tons of weird, aging candy.

To cheer up Radhop, I wish he would get a tour of the Wonka factory.

.
@ \/ But maybe Radhop is Charlie! :(

[AvocadoAvenger]

Granted, but his obsession for candy, gum, tv, or the like leads to him dying/getting really messed up in some way. You've seen how the movie goes.

I wish for my headache to go away.

[Lentrax]

Granted. But it took your head with it. Yo uare now doomed to wander forever in search of your aching head.

I wish I had a larger music library.

[mattsdelf]

Granted, Apple decides to double space between songs in the list. Your library is now twice as large with the same amount of content.

I wish I owned an hour of time within the next 3-4 days.

[Socratov]

Granted, but seeing time is an abstract concept (and an hour moreso) you spend that hour wondering what time really is contemplate the meaning of time and abstract constructs as well as anthropomorphic subjects. You obviously need more then an hour for that and so waste a night on pondering instead of sleeping.

@V: damn! I always forget when I'm hapily granting someone else's I coudl ofcourse retroactively wish for something to wish, but that would be going a bit meta don't you think?

[Elemental]

You didn't wish for anything, so I'm going to have to charge you a fee...

@^Especially seeing as I could retroactively refuse your request to save on paperwork.



I wish for silver.

[Amidus Drexel]

Ag, we're almost out. You'll have to take this silver-coated electrical wire and file the silver off yourself.

I wish for another really awesome sandwich.

[Lentrax]

Granted. This second sandwich is incredible. Godlike. Perfect in every way.

Just not as good as the first.

I wish I could make money without having to work for it.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Granted, you now work at a mint, creating money for the nation you live in. However you are paid in bread, therefore, you make money but don't work for it, you instead work for bread.

I wish for an set of art supplies that replenishes itself after I use up the current amount so that I can create many works without fear of running out of materials.

[radhop]

Granted, the art supplies now replenish whenever they are gone but only with the sacrifice of a portion of your soul every time.

I wish for people to get internet references so that I do not have to explain them every time.

[Amidus Drexel]

Granted, but now all the memes are really overused.

So, I wishTPBM liekz mudkipz.

[Socratov]

granted, however, I don't play pokemon, so you won't notice it.

I wish Elemental to fulfill this wish

[Elemental]

Sure why not...
Seeing as you were rather vague as to what you wanted, I am going to replace all your hairs with white hot needles.


I wish my tooth would be slightly less painful.

[Balmas]

Granted. Your tooth is indeed less painful, stuck in a solution. However, your jaw is wracked with undescribably agony.

I wish I didn't have to do homework.

[AKA_Bait]

Wish Granted! Nothing changes. You aren't compelled to do homework after all, it's just that your grades will suffer if you don't.

I wish that the winter storm about to discend upon NYC would turn into a warm, comforting breeze.