Your Wish Granted With a Twist. Vol. 43

[The Succubus]

Your wish is granted. The wind is as warm and sweet as a shy maiden's kiss, yet unfortunately she's eloped with the God of Winter and he's brought a mountain of snow with him.

I wish for the ability to understand 13th and 14th century Latin and ancient Hebrew texts, while retaining my ability to converse and understand English.

[Socratov]

granted. However, following warm air usually come showers and NY will see the heaviest rainfall yet. The streets shall be flooded (again) and again no NY marathon will be held.

[Elemental]

Granted. As Socratov made no wish of his own, both he and The Succubus are now fully conversant in Latin, Hebrew, Ancient Greek, Old English and Old Norse, because I'm such a nice guy.


I wish to make no wish.

[TheWombatOfDoom]

Granted, you can no longer make wishes.

I wish that Elemental had instead of wishing for no wishes, had wished for lasagna.

[Elemental]

Granted. Top notch delicious lasagne for everyone.
Well worth breaking the three post rule for.

I don't need to make a wish because I have lasagne now.
But I wish you find your lasagne as tasty as mine.

[Akowrules]

Granted. It's so delicious I can't help but to ask for more.

I wish that I could actually make some money soon.

[The Succubus]

Granted. You are now the owner of "Between The Sheets", a highly popular takeaway lasagne franchise.


I wish it would snow in London. It'd be ever so pretty. I miss snow.

[Socratov]

Granted. Not only does it start snowing in London, the city freezes over. Traffic is a chaos and no car, automobile, lorrie or boat can move. Slowly the citizens of London will starve.

I wish I didn't break wishes so apocalyptic every time...

[radhop]

Granted, your twisted wishes are now so subtle that people complain about you answering there wishes until finally unable to twist wishes you are banned from the thread.

I wish Socratov's wish never happened.

[Akowrules]

Granted. It never happened, and now you have nothing to wish for.

I wish that the power point I'm supposed to be doing would do itself and be so good it gets an A.

[MonkeyBusiness]

Granted. Not only does your power point get an A, but it earns a scholarship and eventually completes a master's degree in business, and after a few years becomes the wealthy and influential owner of a major corporation. In gratitude to you, it hired you to clean the floors in the building it owns.

I wish for a muse of comedy to inspire me.

.

[The Succubus]

Granted. You now have a most amusing muse but spend so long musing on your muse's amusingness that you forget what you actually wanted him for.


I wish for a really delicious cup of coffee. The very pinnacle of ground bean caffination and no less.

[Kane0]

It is the best cup of coffee you have ever had, and ever will have. For that is the last cup of coffee, the amount of tries needed to get it perfect has used up all but the last coffee on the planet, which is now in your cup.
On the bright side, theres plenty of tea to go around.

I wish for Weapon Proficiency: Letter Opener.

[LordDeathkeeper]

Granted. You can now use letter openers. However, all your letters are now opened with voice-commands, rendering metal instruments useless.

I wish my partner for a group project would do his/her share of work. Ever.

[Socratov]

Granted. Now the work will be divided into fair shares. However, what is fair? You will use all available time to discuss this beofre starting the group project and thus not finishing on time.

I wish I, like Havelock Vetinary, completed assassin academy with weapon proficiency: language

[radhop]

Granted, Though you lack everything else Havelock Vetinary could do and die soon after.

I wish that TPBM has to copy and paste this wish for his wish.

[Lentrax]

Granted. I will copy your wish here. Too bad my glue isn't working so well. The words that are going to stay are:

I wish that TPBM
And now the rest of it...
would make some cake for everyone.

[Elemental]

Granted. It's yellow and appears to be admitting radiation.


I wish for more time.

[Socratov]

Here, have an extra second: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd it's gone....

I wish for some more energetic mornings...

[Amidus Drexel]

Granted! You get switched to the night shift, and you are only energetic right before you're supposed to go to sleep.

I wish for three ice cream cones, one of which may be sacrificed to the ground.

[Drakeburn]

Granted! One ice cream cone falls to the ground, while the other two land on your shoes and in your pocket.

Now, I wish for an unlimited supply of underwear!

[AvocadoAvenger]

Granted! Phase two: ????

I wish I had done my homework already.

[MageOfCakes]

Granted, all your homework has been done... by a 5 year old. I hope your teachers like crayon answers.

I wish I had a new friend.

[radhop]

Granted, your new friend loves you to death so much that he kills you by running you over with a truck.
(please somebody get that reference or I will be sad...)

I wish things would download faster on my computer.

[Lentrax]

Granted. You r computer now downloads things in the blinnk of an eye, but develops a Tivo-like personality and downloads things at random, despite what you may desire.

I wish I had a larger library of audiobooks to listen to at work.

[Lothorn]

Granted. Too bad every last one is blank.

I wish to be god of a new universe.

[PurityIcekiller]

Granted. Unfortunately, you can't access it from this universe.

I wish I had more time for the forums. And no, I still can't get fired.

[Socratov]

granted, once again, here have an extra second or two...

I wish to be surprised

[Akowrules]

SURPRISE! You didn't Expect me, did you?

I wish I could actually function today.

[Lentrax]

Granted, You will now be functional today, but only bits at a time. Good luck typing that report with only your toes!

I wish my kids would quit making large messes in my house.