Somewhere in the world, there is a group of thieves with apparently millions of litres of maple syrup, no doubt planning the most ambitious pancake breakfast of all time.
__________________
"Justice is a blade that draws blood from the innocent and wicked alike. And raised high, it can lead a charge that changes the world forever."
This avatar of Anders from Dragon Age 2 was provided by Dorian Soth. I didn't do it.
Last edited by Candle Jack : 08-31-2012 at 12:52 PM.
In related news: Mrs. Butterworth was seen as quote: Laughing manically with long time partner Aunt Jemimah. More on this story as it develops. Now back to the newsroom.
__________________
Co-Founding Member of LUTAS For all the less than useful superheroes out there.
Hugs and cake are available upon request. And when available.
I've lived in Canada all my life and, until this morning, I had no idea that we had the world's largest maple syrup reserve.
If not us, then who else?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaronK
Frankly, a Wizard can suck even more than a Fighter could ever dream of sucking. A Fighter can stab himself to death, but only a Wizard could Plane Shift to some horrible far realm to be tortured for an eternity of insanity.
In completely unrelated news, I have very recently developed type 2 diabetes.
...completely unrelated, mind you.
__________________ Endure pain, find joy, and make your own meaning, because the universe certainly isn't going to supply it. Always be a moving target. Live. Live. Live.
- Cordelia Vorkosigan
It gets better: the official name of the reserve is the "Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve".
STRATEGIC.
This is literally the greatest thing I have ever heard.
__________________ Endure pain, find joy, and make your own meaning, because the universe certainly isn't going to supply it. Always be a moving target. Live. Live. Live.
- Cordelia Vorkosigan
I had to google it in French to understand what the heck this could mean !
In fact, this has nothing to do with national defence or anything of the kind. The reserve is strategic from the maple syrup industry's perspective. They use it to protect themselves against price peaks and crashes, do of which can be very damaging to their business.
If we go with the Strategic Reserve angle the thieves may well make a decent Bond villain too.
The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.
"He's got a pretty sweet deal"
__________________
Si non confectus, non reficiat.
The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.
"He's got a pretty sweet deal"
I worship you. So badly, I want this sooo badly now.
I had to google it in French to understand what the heck this could mean !
In fact, this has nothing to do with national defence or anything of the kind. The reserve is strategic from the maple syrup industry's perspective. They use it to protect themselves against price peaks and crashes, do of which can be very damaging to their business.
That's just what SMSR want you to think.
SMeRSh.
Think about it. It's just flipped around!
Wait a minute. SMSR. USSR. Gah!
Last edited by JCarter426 : 09-01-2012 at 11:43 AM.
What really, really, puzzles me is: HOW DID THEY DO IT? I mean, we're talking MILLIONS of gallons. Did they drive an oil tanker through the wall?
"Hey, we wanted to park this here, and, uh, leave a suspicious hose attatched to it, which also just happens to be attached to your gigantic oil maple syrup reserve..."
__________________
Quotes:
Spoiler
Quote:
Originally Posted by TravelLog
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamBurke
*snip* ...Hands down the funniest class critique I have ever read... *snip*
I cannot tell you the number of times I laughed while reading this.
What really, really, puzzles me is: HOW DID THEY DO IT? I mean, we're talking MILLIONS of gallons. Did they drive an oil tanker through the wall?
"Hey, we wanted to park this here, and, uh, leave a suspicious hose attatched to it, which also just happens to be attached to your gigantic oil maple syrup reserve..."
Oh, but it was all insured, so the owners won't lose out financially. On the other hand, the company that was collecting premiums off of maple syrup insurance are doubtlessly kicking themselves at this unthinkable travesty.
The villain plans to poison the syrup, and the movie will end with a dramatic fight over bioling tanks of maple syrup, in which Bond will throw the villain.
I am pretty sure it would be the number two guy that goes into the vat. Spoken by the snarky sidekick: "You know 007, you always do manage to land everyone else in a sticky situation."
__________________
Co-Founding Member of LUTAS For all the less than useful superheroes out there.
Hugs and cake are available upon request. And when available.
And there was a great putting on of sunglasses. I wonder how many sexual puns Bond could make to his girl of the week? Likely named Debora Honeypotts or something like that.
M.A.P.L.E. Middle-and-North-American People's League of Evil. A communist cell implanted in the US and Canada during the height of the Cold War, with the intent of holding the capitalist, decadent west hostage by taking away it's access to sweet syrup, and thus to pancakes, and demanding a ransom, or else the degenerate capitalist consumers will lose trust in it's government and revolt. Because what's more American than pancakes for breakfast? And what's more Canadian than Maple Syrup? Nothing, that's what. They could just as well have stolen the Statue of Liberty and whatever Canada is famous for!
But seriously, SamBurke asked a pretty good question, how did it work? Inquiring minds got to know!
__________________
Si non confectus, non reficiat.
Oh, but it was all insured, so the owners won't lose out financially. On the other hand, the company that was collecting premiums off of maple syrup insurance are doubtlessly kicking themselves at this unthinkable travesty.
My guess is that the barrels were empty to begin with, and that this is all an insurance fraud scheme.
And there was a great putting on of sunglasses. I wonder how many sexual puns Bond could make to his girl of the week? Likely named Debora Honeypotts or something like that.
M.A.P.L.E. Middle-and-North-American People's League of Evil. A communist cell implanted in the US and Canada during the height of the Cold War, with the intent of holding the capitalist, decadent west hostage by taking away it's access to sweet syrup, and thus to pancakes, and demanding a ransom, or else the degenerate capitalist consumers will lose trust in it's government and revolt. Because what's more American than pancakes for breakfast? And what's more Canadian than Maple Syrup? Nothing, that's what. They could just as well have stolen the Statue of Liberty and whatever Canada is famous for!
But seriously, SamBurke asked a pretty good question, how did it work? Inquiring minds got to know!
Deborah Honeypotts : "Oh James, what are you doing?"
James Bond "My dear Miss Honeypotts, I seem to have developed a sweet tooth." /goes back under the covers.
__________________
"Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"
Translation: "Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
Traab is yelling everything that I'm thinking already.
"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room."
Somewhere in the world, there is a group of thieves with apparently millions of litres of maple syrup, no doubt planning the most ambitious pancake breakfast of all time.
I don't even know how to react. Is this a real thing? There are maple syrup reserves? In case of what? How do you steal thirty million liters of syrup? What the heck do you transport that in? Where do you hide it?
RSS Feeds: 
The Great Maple Syrup Heist
