LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Celtic_D&Der

To be completely honest.....I don't even remember writing the rest of that....... so your guess is as good as mine. I think I thought I was writing something else, which would have made sense......if I had actually wrote it.

Brain temporarily disconnected from user.

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Brain temporarily disconnected from user.

Heh, exactly. Or as my brother-in-law would say, Pan-Dimensional Slippage.

[Asta Kask]

I showed the picture KenderWizard made for me when I was in hospital in February. She looked at it for a long time and told me I was very, very lucky to have such friends. I agreed.

*hugs*

Also, this.

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Lentrax

Sociopath? Did I miss something?

I dated one once. I didn't know. It ended badly. Twice.

[golentan]

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

I dated one once. I didn't know. It ended badly. Twice.

Ouch. I'm sorry.

[Nick274]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

>go to lunch with LGBTsoc
>meet exceptionally cute girl
>hit it off with exceptionally cute girl
>discover that exceptionally cute girl is bi
>discover that exceptionally cute girl has a boyfriend
>fml

It happens girl, Even to me and I just got into the whole dating thing. (Not that im super young, just not that good looking.)

Originally Posted by Heliomance

ION, I signed up to the poledancing lessons today! Only downside, the teacher remembers me from the party, and despite the fact I was very definitely in girl mode, expressed happiness at getting "another guy" to take the lessons. Within hearing of others, when I'm pretty sure no-one else had clocked me.

If you were full girl mode, then why did she say "guy"? Kind of rude IMO.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

*sets up Lixie trap with half a tonne of yuri magazines, a set of pink handcuffs and a small riding crop*

You may cactch more then Lix....

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I showed the picture KenderWizard made for me when I was in hospital in February. She looked at it for a long time and told me I was very, very lucky to have such friends. I agreed.

*hugs*

Also, this.

Well that is just one more step in the right way. CA baned it anyway.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Uh, well, at first, I didn't even tell them where we were going, just that I needed them to go somewhere with me. To which I expectedd concern and worry, but them agreeing to do so because I felt it was so important.

But, that didn't exactly work out. They were convinced I had gotten myself wrapped up in some sort of money scam, or some other scheme, swindle, trick, or dupe of some sort, and they wouldn't even consider going until I gave them more information.

Which I did last night. So, now they've agreed to go. But they're still being...difficult about it. They seem much more focused on how much it's costing me, and how far I have to drive, and why I'm not using my insurance, and why *insert random financial thing here*, rather than, you know, my mental wellbeing.

On an amusing note, my mom, as per usual, tried repeatedly to guess what was going on. At one ponit she asked, "Is it sexual orientation? Do you think you're gay?" Luckily, I had already said I wasn't going to say anything else, so I was able to come back with, "I said I'm not saying anything else!" But I thought to myself, "Why, yes I am, just not in the way you think!"

Hmm, all I can think of is that maybe since they don't really know what it's about they're focusing their worries on something that's more tangible for them. (Monies?)

*offers hugs*

I hope the appointment itself goes well! When is it?

Originally Posted by Absol197

Hooray! That's a good story! Wait, do you have a male roommate (or any roommate)? If so, that could get awkward for him rather fast. As far as them not getting it, I know how that works. Turns out, after I told my best friend, he had no idea what I was talking about. I was out of brainpower to answer any questions, so he went and looked it all up on his own. I bet people will be asking you about it. Hopefully you're cool with that. Spread the knowledge, right?

But, back to the important business: Yay for you being you !

Oh, no, dorm mates aren't really a thing here.

Originally Posted by Heliomance

>go to lunch with LGBTsoc
>meet exceptionally cute girl
>hit it off with exceptionally cute girl
>discover that exceptionally cute girl is bi
>discover that exceptionally cute girl has a boyfriend
>fml

Aw.

Originally Posted by Heliomance

ION, I signed up to the poledancing lessons today! Only downside, the teacher remembers me from the party, and despite the fact I was very definitely in girl mode, expressed happiness at getting "another guy" to take the lessons. Within hearing of others, when I'm pretty sure no-one else had clocked me.

Mrr, that sounds really frustrating.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I showed the picture KenderWizard made for me when I was in hospital in February. She looked at it for a long time and told me I was very, very lucky to have such friends. I agreed.

*hugs*

Also, this.

Awwwwwwwww.

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Nick274

If you were full girl mode, then why did she say "guy"? Kind of rude IMO.

I wouldn't go so far as to say rude......ignorant definitely, but you have to think, most people when they see a biological male in girl's clothing, don't automatically make the jump to, "They actually are, and are trying to be, a woman." Most people think, cross-dresser; not transgender. It is just an assumption they make in their heads.....and you know what assuming does.

Of course, I am not saying it is right......more accidental idiocy.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Celtic_D&Der

I wouldn't go so far as to say rude......ignorant definitely, but you have to think, most people when they see a biological male in girl's clothing, don't automatically make the jump to, "They actually are, and are trying to be, a woman." Most people think, cross-dresser; not transgender. It is just an assumption they make in their heads.....and you know what assuming does.

Of course, I am not saying it is right......more accidental idiocy.

I'm pretty sure from what Helio told that this wasn't really him clocking her, but more "I already know you" messing up.

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Astrella

wasn't really him clocking her

Ok, going to totally show my dummy side, but clocking = talking to someone as if they are their biological gender?

[Kindablue]

Originally Posted by Celtic_D&Der

Ok, going to totally show my dummy side, but clocking = talking to someone as if they are their biological gender?

"Clocking" is another way to say "reading someone as being transgendered."

[WarKitty]

Originally Posted by Astrella

*Squeek?*

Spoiler

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Originally Posted by golentan

*tests knots*

*unable to untie himself*

Nope, I'm good.

*tickles*

Originally Posted by Arachu

*Raises hand*

*dyes lime green*

[Lentrax]

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

I dated one once. I didn't know. It ended badly. Twice.

Oh.
Ohmy.

Sorries.

[Heliomance]

Originally Posted by Astrella

I'm pretty sure from what Helio told that this wasn't really him clocking her, but more "I already know you" messing up.

This (though the teacher is female). The last time she met me I was male, though trying for a certain degree of androgyny. At the moment I'm all girl though, and it was a little frustrating. From her I'd have been okay with it - perfectly understandable. It was just the fact the she accidentally outed me to everyone around. Though no-one reacted, so I'm not sure they even noticed.

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Lentrax

Oh.
Ohmy.

Sorries.

I can go through my entire romantic history if you like. I'm pretty sure I can win most 'Nuh-uh, *I* had it worse!' contests.

[Ichneumon]

Starting to write things down, I notice I'm once again lost in definitions and meanings. I always thought I understood what the different words like "transgender" and "transexual" mean, but maybe I don't. Anyone willing to explain the different labels to me, again?

Now, I know there is a difference made between one's sexual orientation (if one's sexually interested in either males or females) and one's gender (whether one identifies as male or female). One's sex being whether one has the physical bits and one's gender being what one feels like inside. I always assumed this meant that transsexuals would want SRS and hormones etc, while a transgender person wouldn't per se. However, given that I've seen people who've gone through SRS and taking hormones identify as transgender, clearly this isn't how the label is used. What am I missing?

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Heliomance

>go to lunch with LGBTsoc
>meet exceptionally cute girl
>hit it off with exceptionally cute girl
>discover that exceptionally cute girl is bi
>discover that exceptionally cute girl has a boyfriend
>fml

Oh, that's rough luck. It sounds exactly like my (attempted) dating history, and it sucks, I know!

Originally Posted by Heliomance

ION, I signed up to the poledancing lessons today! Only downside, the teacher remembers me from the party, and despite the fact I was very definitely in girl mode, expressed happiness at getting "another guy" to take the lessons. Within hearing of others, when I'm pretty sure no-one else had clocked me.

Hooray for starting lessons! Sorries for accidentally being outed. Hopefully you're right, and not many people noticed. It definitely didn't sound purposeful, however; probably just ignorance. It's a learning opportunity!

Originally Posted by Astrella

Hmm, all I can think of is that maybe since they don't really know what it's about they're focusing their worries on something that's more tangible for them. (Monies?)

*offers hugs*

I hope the appointment itself goes well! When is it?

It's next Wednesday. We've got over a week to go. I'm hoping it goes well, too. I think that you're right about why they're focusing on money so much, actually, now that I think about it.

Originally Posted by Astrella

Oh, no, dorm mates aren't really a thing here.

Where is here, if I may ask?

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Ichneumon

Starting to write things down, I notice I'm once again lost in definitions and meanings. I always thought I understood what the different words like "transgender" and "transexual" mean, but maybe I don't. Anyone willing to explain the different labels to me, again?

Now, I know there is a difference made between one's sexual orientation (if one's sexually interested in either males or females) and one's gender (whether one identifies as male or female). One's sex being whether one has the physical bits and one's gender being what one feels like inside. I always assumed this meant that transsexuals would want SRS and hormones etc, while a transgender person wouldn't per se. However, given that I've seen people who've gone through SRS and taking hormones identify as transgender, clearly this isn't how the label is used. What am I missing?

"Transsexual" is a poorly designed word, as all the other "x-sexual" words have to do with sexuality.
In practice, there is no functional difference between "transsexual" and "transgender". You'll find different people using one or the other to mean the same thing.

[Coidzor]

I have to wonder if anyone has luck meeting people at LGBTsoc and the like with how often I've run into people bemoaning missed connections.

And some groups try to differentiate between having gender dysphoria and going/having gone through SRS. Kind of surprised it's not in the OP's lexicon though to some extent, haha.

[WarKitty]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

*stuff*

Almost forgot! *pets Coidzor*

[KenderWizard]

Originally Posted by Astrella

Oh, darn, I...uhm...actually forgot to post what I was going to post with all that quoting I've been doing. >.>

-----

Okay. So, was dorm floor meeting last night. Mostly to figure out some organizational stuff. I wanted to wear my girl top but I got super-self-conscious in the end so wore a hoodie over it. Tons of new people; all of them girls, which is amusing since last year my floor practically had no girls. So, introductions then cause of all the new people. Introduced myself as Lena and said that if they were wondering why I had a girl name it's cause I'm transgender. Conversation moved on quickly though cause more introductions and other stuff to do so I'm not 100 % sure if they completely got it. But I'm also listed as Lena on the mailing list now and on the sheet at the door which has the ring codes for the doorbell, so yay~

Yay! Well done!

Originally Posted by Heliomance

ION, I signed up to the poledancing lessons today! Only downside, the teacher remembers me from the party, and despite the fact I was very definitely in girl mode, expressed happiness at getting "another guy" to take the lessons. Within hearing of others, when I'm pretty sure no-one else had clocked me.

Damn, that's annoying, but I'd be surprised if many people paid much attention, and y'know, from the way you look, I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them was like "Snigger, the teacher just totally called that girl a dude. Awkward!"

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I showed the picture KenderWizard made for me when I was in hospital in February. She looked at it for a long time and told me I was very, very lucky to have such friends. I agreed.

*hugs*

This made me smile on a bad day. You showed it to whom, your doctor?

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by Ichneumon

Starting to write things down, I notice I'm once again lost in definitions and meanings. I always thought I understood what the different words like "transgender" and "transexual" mean, but maybe I don't. Anyone willing to explain the different labels to me, again?

Now, I know there is a difference made between one's sexual orientation (if one's sexually interested in either males or females) and one's gender (whether one identifies as male or female). One's sex being whether one has the physical bits and one's gender being what one feels like inside. I always assumed this meant that transsexuals would want SRS and hormones etc, while a transgender person wouldn't per se. However, given that I've seen people who've gone through SRS and taking hormones identify as transgender, clearly this isn't how the label is used. What am I missing?

Even sex is a lot more complicated than just what genitals someone has.

The two terms have switched meanings at least once; and they're often used interchangeably, so I wouldn't fuss too much about which one you use. Transgender these days also sorta has a meaning of being an umbrella term for everyone who deviates from their assigned gender; while transsexual tends to be a bit more specific for people who do physical transition stuff. But since these labels are mostly self-applied it doesn't really matter that much. Use the one you feel best with.

Originally Posted by Absol197

Where is here, if I may ask?

Belgium~

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

And some groups try to differentiate between having gender dysphoria and going/having gone through SRS. Kind of surprised it's not in the OP's lexicon though to some extent, haha.

Oh yeah, and this. Some people try to define words depending on pre-/post-op. It's possible some even differentiate between whether or not the person is on HRT.

Originally Posted by Astrella

Even sex is a lot more complicated than just what genitals someone has.

The two terms have switched meanings at least once; and they're often used interchangeably, so I wouldn't fuss too much about which one you use. Transgender these days also sorta has a meaning of being an umbrella term for everyone who deviates from their assigned gender; while transsexual tends to be a bit more specific for people who do physical transition stuff. But since these labels are mostly self-applied it doesn't really matter that much. Use the one you feel best with.

The whole thing has gotten really complicated. It makes it hard to discuss the medical aspects of things sometimes because if you try to say male-bodied some transwomen will disagree that they have male bodies.

[Astrella]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

The whole thing has gotten really complicated. It makes it hard to discuss the medical aspects of things sometimes because if you try to say male-bodied some transwomen will disagree that they have male bodies.

It's always been sorta complicated though. It's sorta the consequence of trying to put a complicated thing into a binary. Look at the way intersex people have been treated with regards to gender and what constitutes 'male' and 'female' is often really arbitrary.

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

Oh yeah, and this. Some people try to define words depending on pre-/post-op. It's possible some even differentiate between whether or not the person is on HRT.

Indeed, I imagine that might be part of why some people were like "nah, we're going to just go with trans* and accept that we'll have to explain our terminology a bit more often but there's less context-dependent miscommunication that can occur as a result."

At least, if I'm remembering my hypothetical fever dreams of the past correctly.

Originally Posted by WarKitty

Almost forgot! *pets Coidzor*

Hey, what are you doing!? Trying to ruin my thoroughly disreputable ima-*fwuffs*

Oh my.

[noparlpf]

I don't like "trans*" much myself because I expect a footnote.

*Here it is if you're looking for it like I am.

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by Kindablue

"Clocking" is another way to say "reading someone as being transgendered."

Thank you!

[Coidzor]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

I don't like "trans*" much myself because I expect a footnote.

*Here it is if you're looking for it like I am.

Indeed, that aspect still sticks in my craw, but I can at least see some angle for it... I think...

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by Coidzor

Indeed, that aspect still sticks in my craw, but I can at least see some angle for it... I think...

I totally support the reasoning behind it (inclusivity), I just don't like the use of an asterisk. If it were "trans-" or something instead, maybe. I dunno.

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by KenderWizard

This made me smile on a bad day. You showed it to whom, your doctor?

My counsellor. She's a wonderful woman who has two cats, so she also understands everything about the comfort a warm feline can bring.