LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax

[Irish Musician]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

I'm just kidding, old is like, eighty or something. Besides, a wet-behind-the-ears whippersnapper like me sees nineteen as old.

It's true.....you are only as old as you feel anyway. Which some days is a young, spry 18 year old...............and sometimes an 80 yr old

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Arachu

Wait, gay people don't like being called "sir"? This is news to me.

*Hugs*


~Bianca

Apparently . Although I think the jury might still be out.

Originally Posted by Astrella

Hm hm.
I talked to a few other people about it and apparently the SRS thing for name change is just a formality and they usually just put a year after you start hormones on it to satisfy the legal requirements. So it's more of a 'government wants it to put it on there'. Am rather frustrated with SRS being a requirement for a legal gender change though. Just feels like the entire business is rather very out of touch with trans people. :/

Edit: Orchiectomy apparently counts too; you just have to be "permanently infertile".

Well, that's stupid, and your government should feel bad !

Originally Posted by Astrella

Yeah, the getting called 'sir' really stings often. :<

Also haha at the being gay just in another way. Hope everything goes well and your parents don't give you too much hassle. (It's this Wednesday, right?)

Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!

Originally Posted by Selpharia

@Absol-

Is it strange that I see in your recounting exactly what is going to happen to me in a few months? Because I do. I already gave you all the hugs I had, but the factories have since produced some more, so have these too

*hugs*

At least they haven't guessed correctly and gone off without any opportunity for you to guide things along. Good luck

Oh, I hope not! It's been no fun at all, and I wouldn't want to put anyone else through it! Of course, you've gotta come out, or you'll never be yourself, which would be a terrible shame, so...

Also, it's more than a little weird, seeing as I've known that I'm trans for just over two months, and I believe you've know for a great deal longer than that. I can't imagine living with the secret for that long. I'm pretty sure I'd literally blow up !

Originally Posted by Selpharia

On the question of "sir," while it does bother me, there'a not much I can do, except ask that the person not be so formal, but I've sort of gotten used to the grating. Of course, this is likely to change once I start thinking more seriously and immediately about coming out, or being out.

~Laura

You've also explained that you have more outlets than I do - your plushes and such. That might also make up some of the difference. Of course, you're probably right about the vicinity of out-ness being a factor, as well.

~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Well...um...I mean, if you're offering !

What else would it be?

Originally Posted by Celtic_D&Der

Only if you are the ride at the end of the line.....

(giggleblush) Ask Absol :P

[Selpharia]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Also, it's more than a little weird, seeing as I've known that I'm trans for just over two months, and I believe you've know for a great deal longer than that. I can't imagine living with the secret for that long. I'm pretty sure I'd literally blow up!

I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah

I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a Phoenix clan shugenja

Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?

~Laura

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Selpharia

I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a Phoenix clan shugenja

Oh hey, I've just been learning that. Just finished making my first character and-

Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?

~Laura

[SiuiS]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I'm sorry, I was trying to lighten things up. It's just - I don't understand what "being female" means. It's frustrating.

I didn't mean to make you into a joke.

It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Heh, nice term. I like it!

Actually, weirdly, I find it helps some to almost flaunt my femininity. I just changed out of my long dress (the one that I wore to the Camden minimeetup, actually) into a short skirt and tight top, and I'm feeling quite a bit better.

Lemme know when asking for pictures goes from flattering to creepy, s'il vous plaît. >_>"

Originally Posted by Absol197

No one even knows, Lixie. No one even knows. They all mistake their dreams of you to be reality, and so flock here with their strange ravings about that time that you [REDACTED]ed their [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED]ing with them while they [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

True story.

Heheh. Yeah~
Those were good times.

Originally Posted by noparlpf

I just almost lit one on fire just for fun until I remembered I learned to ignore my gut instincts. Also because it might make starting conversations easier.

I like being called "Sir". It makes me feel grown-up.

Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.

Originally Posted by Absol197

Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!

We will have to be available for congratulations and comfort hugs. It says you posted this at 2:28 PM my time, when does it say you posted it on your screen?

~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!

I'm seeing a shiba, personally. You don't strike me as much of an Isawa.

Originally Posted by Selpharia

I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah

Yeah... It's such a hurdle it's hard to figure where to start.

I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a Phoenix clan shugenja

Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?

~Laura

That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!

... Why are the tsukai always hot?

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

Oh hey, I've just been learning that. Just finished making my first character and-

Oh? Neat. I have never web able to ply, myself, but was always interested...
Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<

[Arachu]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!

*Hugs*

You've also explained that you have more outlets than I do - your plushes and such. That might also make up some of the difference. Of course, you're probably right about the vicinity of out-ness being a factor, as well.

My outlet is pillows - I like to hug one or two while I go to sleep~ :3

~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!

Ooh~ I like the way it looks in that color.

Originally Posted by SiuiS

It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.

Kind of like... The absence of dissatisfaction with the shape of your body, maybe? Hmm...

Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.

Me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height?

But seriously, o.o

Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<

*Hopes she isn't being nosy, but hugs!*


~Bianca

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!

... Why are the tsukai always hot?

Dramatic convention. xD

Oh? Neat. I have never web able to ply, myself, but was always interested...
Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<

Her game may or may not exist...
Well, tomorrow?

[Selpharia]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.

WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING

For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.

Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.

END MELODRAMA

EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.

~Laura

[Socratov]

Originally Posted by Absol197

No one even knows, Lixie. No one even knows. They all mistake their dreams of you to be reality, and so flock here with their strange ravings about that time that you [REDACTED]ed their [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED]ing with them while they [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

True story.

wait. What?! How did you hear about this! this is surprisingly accurate...

Btw, yes, zhat is how I lost my medical license. Now where is zhat damn bird...

[golentan]

Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.

[Lord Raziere]

Well, take solace in this: both politics and news tend to distort and exaggerate information to spin the story a certain way. If you are feeling down, I'd go search for another source to get more accurate information on the subject your feeling down upon, skepticism and doubt on these sorts of things is your friend, as well as the good advice of taking what certain things say with a grain of salt.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Selpharia

I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah

Oh, now I'm thinking of it, too .

I've never been called brave before. I don't think of it as bravery: I think of it as running blindly out of the darkness into the light screaming, "I can't take it any more!" hoping that I don't trip or end up impaled upon a spike that I can't see coming. Or something like that .

I definitely think talking with a therapist will help. It helped me a lot, especially with those doubts. They're not completely gone, but I'm much more sure of myself, which is part of why I can come out to so many people.

Originally Posted by Selpharia

I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a Phoenix clan shugenja

Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?

~Laura

Thanks . Still just trying it out, but I do like it...

Oh, and you can definitely have Lixie when I'm done with her! It may be a while though...*retreats back into pillow fort*

EDIT: Oooh! She's pretty! I wish I could look like her...

Originally Posted by SiuiS

It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.

For me, it's like being a balloon. O_O

No, really! I feel all filled up with good and happy feelings, almost like I'm going to float away. The constant nagging and doubts and craving in the back of my head for something that, for the longest time I couldn't describe goes away, and I'm no longer wieghted down.

Or what Laura said. That works, too!

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Heheh. Yeah~
Those were good times.

I know, right?!

Originally Posted by SiuiS

We will have to be available for congratulations and comfort hugs. It says you posted this at 2:28 PM my time, when does it say you posted it on your screen?

3:28 PM. Hey, you're really close to me (geographically speaking)! Are you on the West Coast or something?

Originally Posted by SiuiS

I'm seeing a shiba, personally. You don't strike me as much of an Isawa.

*Has no idea what you're talking about*

Originally Posted by SiuiS

That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!

... Why are the tsukai always hot?

Oh no! *Runs*

Originally Posted by Selpharia

WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING

For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.

Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.

END MELODRAMA

EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.

~Laura

That was beautifully said! *Has warm fuzzies inside*

Originally Posted by golentan

Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.

I'm so sorry, Golly! *Hugs* I've been feeling the same way about politics recently. Why can't everybody just be nice and get along, and live and let live, huh?

~Phoenix~

[Asta Kask]

Originally Posted by Absol197

Oh, now I'm thinking of it, too .

I've never been called brave before. I don't think of it as bravery: I think of it as running blindly out of the into the light screaming, "I can't take it any more!" hoping that I don't trip or end up impaled upon a spike that I can't seem coming. Or something like that

~Phoenix~

I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."

Well, she's a smart lady!

~Phoenix~

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.

How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.

[bluewind95]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.

I dunno. I don't think comfort is the absence of being uncomfortable. It goes beyond that. I mean. If you sit on a chair, you might not be uncomfortable... but you also might not be comfortable. But if you sit on those delightful, plush, soft sofas... then you might experience comfort. It's like... on the scale of -10 to 10... absence of discomfort is a 0. But you still have a way to go before you're really comfortable.

[Selpharia]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."

That's true, and the feeling and memory of being faced with that single absolute choice is what compels me forward, despite all the doubts. But, since I almost chose the latter, I still admire the courage of those who choose the former.

Like I've said before, I know I'll pick up speed and be running just as fast and as blind as Phoenix (Well maybe slower, I can't run quickly )
~Laura

[Musashi]

Huh. I feel female (though not feminine), but I really don't know how to define that. Being cisgender, I've always had the privilege of never having to think about my gender identity very hard, and I tend to get distracted by other things before I find a definition.
... like painting orks.
I love painting orks. So many models to finish! WAAAAAAAGH.

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."

Seconded. There's no real third option there; pretending hard to be someone you're not is a process that eats you away. Sometimes, those who do that simply die of unrelated causes before that point presents itself.

[SiuiS]

Golly, I'm sorry. Would talking about it help or would you just like affection?

Absol (or would you prefer Phoenix?), legend of the five rings is a feudal samurai rpg, and one of the clans is the Phoenix. Their leading family is ostensibly the Shiba, vassals of a human who swore to protect their clan's shugenja (sorcerer priests). Isawa are the shugenja clan, I believe. It's been a while though.
Maho tsukai are blood sorcerers, and the act of even learning their magic can taint the body and soul. They are all also hot up until the point they become festering zombies at least >_<

Originally Posted by Arachu

Kind of like... The absence of dissatisfaction with the shape of your body, maybe? Hmm...

Maybe! It is a quiet, Warm joy. Masculinity is about joy in duty, not joy in the self. To me, mind.

Me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height?

But seriously, o.o

Oh, you.

*Hopes she isn't being nosy, but hugs!*

This? I've just been unable to talk to Lix, and I feel bad about it because she's down and I'm not helping.

Originally Posted by Lix Lorn

Her game may or may not exist...
Well, tomorrow?

Bleh. Schroedinger's game huh?
And tomorrow? That's like, twenty four hours from now! I'll try for today :3

Originally Posted by Selpharia

WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING

For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.

Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.

END MELODRAMA

EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.

~Laura

Don't worry hon, midterms or no. ^_^

I think the key component is about bodily awareness. It's like being out of shape; I want to be able to feel my body, focus on it, an not find anything lacking. I don't want to be too muscly, too flabby, too manly.

Originally Posted by noparlpf

How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.

To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...

I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.

The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.

How... How did you blow up a grill?

Originally Posted by bluewind95

I dunno. I don't think comfort is the absence of being uncomfortable. It goes beyond that. I mean. If you sit on a chair, you might not be uncomfortable... but you also might not be comfortable. But if you sit on those delightful, plush, soft sofas... then you might experience comfort. It's like... on the scale of -10 to 10... absence of discomfort is a 0. But you still have a way to go before you're really comfortable.

Usefully? Yes. The definition came from scientists putting their minds to designing a more comfortable airplane seat. They asked trial members if they were comfortable. One asked for how they should define comfort, and were told "well, the absence of discomfort". that person said they were then, "comfortable", but really would prefer more room to recline, which would require a plane to have more space, and less seats. Interestingly, that's what has happened!

It's like temperature. To me, temperature is if something is hot or cold. To a scientifically minded person, it's a measure of energy to entropy in a system. Both are correct, but it's still weird being corrected by a less useful definition, sometimes.

Originally Posted by Selpharia

That's true, and the feeling and memory of being faced with that single absolute choice is what compels me forward, despite all the doubts. But, since I almost chose the latter, I still admire the courage of those who choose the former.

Like I've said before, I know I'll pick up speed and be running just as fast and as blind as Phoenix (Well maybe slower, I can't run quickly ) because I feel like it's a downhill path and the further I go, the more I want to finally get into that light.

~Laura

rock on! I'm getting there. Me an my filly are slowly adapting to making me comfortable (and making her comfortable, which is more important!) expressing myself. Thanks, Lix. I think she is taking those conversations you two had to heart. ^_^

Unfortunately, this puts the sexist comments of our friends into harsher contrast >_>
Luckily, said friend is one of those who has even saying for years in more of a lesbian than a straight man <_<

[noparlpf]

Originally Posted by SiuiS

To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...

I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.

The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.

How... How did you blow up a grill?

Wow. That's impressive.
Pretty short story--my dad asked me to start the grill up while he was preparing the hamburger meat. So I go out, turn on the gas, and try to light it, but the lighter isn't working. So I thoughtlessly leave the gas open while I'm standing there trying to get the lighter to light, and then it does, just as my dad comes out the back door. So he walks out and sees me and the grill and then suddenly there's a six-foot fireball. I passed my reflex save, though, so I only lost all the hair on my right arm.
The grill was more or less fine, though, just a bit scorched, but well and properly lit, so saying it "blew up" is a bit of an exaggeration.

[Lix Lorn]

Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."

Slightly melodramatic, but basically. Especially if it's a metaphorical or partial death.

Originally Posted by SiuiS

Bleh. Schroedinger's game huh?
And tomorrow? That's like, twenty four hours from now! I'll try for today :3

It wasn't that far away when I said it! xD

rock on! I'm getting there. Me an my filly are slowly adapting to making me comfortable (and making her comfortable, which is more important!) expressing myself. Thanks, Lix. I think she is taking those conversations you two had to heart. ^_^

Glad I could help.

[Zorg]

Originally Posted by Absol197

I am curious as to what words the symbols are supposed to represent...

Customers at my work are usually very rude. Had one lady ready to explode today because we don't stock linseeds anymore (or rather for about two years...) and she'd have to go to a second store now.
I hate people sometimes.

Oh! On a work related note I had a very productive meeting with my HR person and my boss, and there's a vague plan for me when I transition at work to move me out of my current, very visible, position as floor manager into something more administrative which I've been wanting to do anyways.
Nothing like leveraging potential discrimination from jackhole customers into an advantage so as to hasten the wheels of HR

I suspect the reason it's getting to me so much is because I really have nowhere to live my actual identity. I have my D&D group, but I only see them on Friday nights. Otherwise, it's at home with my parents, or at work, so I'm feeling incredibly stifled. I can hardly even talk to people IRL about it.

Hopefully that all changes on Wednesday, though .

I'm quite lucky in that I have a number of people IRL to talk to, but then I get self-consicous that it's all I talk about... can't win either way, lol!
But still, not being able to femme up without feeling like a guy in a dress is a bit distressing sometimes, and having to do it when nobody is around too.
*sympathy hugs*

*hopes she's very lucky...* I've been good, haven't I?

I suppose Depending on post times maybe Saturday? See how I go.


-

On feeling feminine, I find it had to describe but I know when I'm not feeling it more than when I am.

See, today I was talking to a friend about styles of dresses and how, being skinny, to accentuate curves I need to wear things with structured waists, loose around the hips and with collars that widen the shoulders. That was so amazingly wonderful to just talk about fashion and such like it's not super unusual for me to know about dress types and so on.
The flip side is when I can't express that side of me - like I'm near guys and they comment on a good looking girl and I want to say how cool her hair is or her outfit (I am quite shallow sometimes), but I can't.

It's an absense of part of me, rather than some opposite. I didn't know I was missing something before but now I do and I notice when it's not there a lot more consiously. This comic is very relevant.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Zorg

It's an absense of part of me, rather than some opposite. I didn't know I was missing something before but now I do and I notice when it's not there a lot more consiously. This comic is very relevant.

That...that's exactly it! And now I feel sad about the poor squid ...

EDIT: Wow, I keep forgetting how fast this thread moves! I keep needing to change the link in my signature...

~Phoenix~

[Musashi]

... yeah, that comic depresses me a little.
I've got a link to share here, that I don't think is very well-known around here (though I could be mistaken). Lesbians 101, a lesson that most of us don't need, but that will be nice to share once it's completed. (Warning: links leads to drawing of people in underwear, it's quite innocent but I figure it's better to give a warning just in case. Later pages show sex toys drawings and get more explicit about sex.)
The comic itself is also awesome. (Warning: cartoon violence, profanities, politics, religion, gender confusion, barbie-anatomy nakedness, and tons of cats.)
(I figure this would be a good moment to remind you I'm generous with disclaimer and warnings. I swear so much everywhere else and talk so much about delicate subjects I don't even know what's over the limits for a pg-13 forum. Therefore, I'm making a lot of things sound much worse than they actually are. Better be too cautious than too careless. What I'm getting at is that Chaos Life is not actually a Clockwork Orange with cats.)
In case you guys already knew Chaos Life, then, huh. Hurr.

By the way, I noticed I did not give out nearly enough hugs this week due to the forum maintenance. Catching up now.
*HUGS*

[Lycunadari]

So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.

@name change: it's extremely difficoult to change your name as a cis person, and not much easier for trans persons. I think it's similiar to what Astrella discribed.

@age: It's funny, I don't really view my parents as old (they are 58), but my sister (23) and I (18) both agree that our brother, who will be turning 30 next year, is ooooooold. Way to old for a brother.

@feeling female: I thought about that a while, and have no idea how I would describe it. But like Musashi said, that's probably due to being cis. Though I am really confused recently. I sometimes feel like I might be genderqueer, or more agendered. I often don't like wearing tight clothes and I think stuff like "If I'd lose my breasts due to breast cancer or something, I wouldn't want implants. I wouldn't mind at all." But than I think I just imagine those stuff because I read so much about it lately. I am so confused.

So, *hugs* to everyone who needs or wants some, and good luck for you tomorrow, Phoenix (by the way, that's a wonderful name for you )!

[Lentrax]

Originally Posted by noparlpf

How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.

Oh yeah? As amusing as that is, try making some food on the stove when the whole thing decides that is had enough of this mortal coil and decides to live out its final moments in this world as a BLAZING INFERNO! Seriously, I turn my back on the thing for thirty seconds...

edit: as an aside, and a helpful tip for everyone.

*clears throat* Do NOT wait for an actual emergency to see if your fire extinguisher works. There are eight different people who had to buy new extinguishers because the ones they had did not work as they were supposed to. Myself among them.

Originally Posted by Zorg

Oh! On a work related note I had a very productive meeting with my HR person and my boss, and there's a vague plan for me when I transition at work to move me out of my current, very visible, position as floor manager into something more administrative which I've been wanting to do anyways.
Nothing like leveraging potential discrimination from jackhole customers into an advantage so as to hasten the wheels of HR

Good for you! Make 'em work for you, that's what they are supposed to be there for anyway.

They don't like people to know that though, hence Catbert, and whatnot.

*hugs*

[Arachu]

Originally Posted by golentan

Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.

*Hugs!*

Originally Posted by SiuiS

To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...

I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.

The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.

Woah. @.@

I lost part of my eyebrow... Overtrimming. It's not particularly noticeable. I set a lot of things on fire growing up, but from a couple of minor burns and a single blister (the first from one or two matches and my first handheld bottle rocket, and the second from a stick I was roasting marshmellows on), none of them got even slightly out of hand. I can't tell if I should feel proud or embarrassed.

Originally Posted by Lycunadari

So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.

*So many hugs* Hope it gets even better soon. :<


~Bianca

[KenderWizard]

@Astrella, it must be really frustrating to have these things take so long, but I bet you look back and think these few months are nothing compared to the long years you have after you're through all this bureaucracy!

Originally Posted by Heliomance

Apparently the single most common name change is people changing their middle name to Danger.

Humans are awesome.

Originally Posted by noparlpf

I like being called "Sir". It makes me feel grown-up.

I ... would be fine with being called "Sir", actually. I quite like "Ma'am", I think it's kind of cute. I like "Madam". I don't like "Miss", it's too childish.

Originally Posted by Celtic_D&Der

It's true.....you are only as old as you feel anyway. Which some days is a young, spry 18 year old...............and sometimes an 80 yr old

Oh yeah, having fatigue syndrome is a lot like suddenly being 80! You're on loads of medicine, you fall asleep at awkward times, you go up stairs one step at a time saying things like "You people go on ahead! I'll catch ye up!"

On an almost-unrelated note, in Ireland, "whippersnapper" is the name of a type of very soft white sliced pan, so every time someone says "young whippersnappers!" I think of soft jam sandwiches and now I'm hungry...!

Originally Posted by Musashi

Huh. I feel female (though not feminine), but I really don't know how to define that. Being cisgender, I've always had the privilege of never having to think about my gender identity very hard, and I tend to get distracted by other things before I find a definition.
... like painting orks.
I love painting orks. So many models to finish! WAAAAAAAGH.

I think a lot of what's important to me personally about my gender would be less relevant in a more equal society. But I always liked being a woman/girl and felt like I was on the "right" side, as it were. I think I'd do okay if I was suddenly a man but I'd prefer that didn't happen and if it did, I'd try to undo it.

[Absol197]

Originally Posted by Lycunadari

So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.

@name change: it's extremely difficoult to change your name as a cis person, and not much easier for trans persons. I think it's similiar to what Astrella discribed.

@age: It's funny, I don't really view my parents as old (they are 58), but my sister (23) and I (18) both agree that our brother, who will be turning 30 next year, is ooooooold. Way to old for a brother.

@feeling female: I thought about that a while, and have no idea how I would describe it. But like Musashi said, that's probably due to being cis. Though I am really confused recently. I sometimes feel like I might be genderqueer, or more agendered. I often don't like wearing tight clothes and I think stuff like "If I'd lose my breasts due to breast cancer or something, I wouldn't want implants. I wouldn't mind at all." But than I think I just imagine those stuff because I read so much about it lately. I am so confused.

Oh, Lucy! *MASSIVE HUGS* I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way! I've felt that way before, and it's no good at all...If you ever want to talk, my PM box is open. Just know that no matter how bad it gets, we're all here for you. Don't give up!

Originally Posted by Lycunadari

So, *hugs* to everyone who needs or wants some, and good luck for you tomorrow, Phoenix (by the way, that's a wonderful name for you )!

Gee...thanks!

~Phoenix~